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old but unfamiliar faces
"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once."
The Ingress has pulled you in. Your body experiences several sensations at once: being pushed forward as if a hand is resting on your back, momentary and startling blindness, a gentle ringing in your head. You have difficulty discerning whether it is hot or cold, but where you have been prodded is noticeably warmer than the rest of you. Some may suffer from dizziness while others are perfectly fine. Once equilibrium has been reestablished, you will notice you are standing on a long platform and that the room is filled with a soft cerulean light. It's slightly humid and dark despite the glow around you, and nothing is familiar. Shortly after, you are led out and toward the medbay.
Inside this room, you are given a physical scan and offered a contract to sign that states you are now part of the crew of the Moira with a specific job. Any questions you might have would be answered in a straightforward manner as well as an explanation about how the Ingress, the thing that has pulled you onto the Moira, is broken and bringing people here unintentionally. This process also consists of a complete work-up of medical history and current health, and afterwards, you are given your MID, a device that is integrated into your hand or wrist with only the slightest pinch. From there, you are guided out of the medbay and to your living quarters.
At first, this month seems no more unusual than the previous one for those who have been aboard the Moira for any amount of time. The crew who had landed on the slaver outpost were rescued, and with everyone aboard, the ship has pushed forward into the darker parts of the Runoff. Anyone arriving through the Ingress follows the same routine—moving from the Ingress room into the Medbay for their physical and contract before being assisted by seasoned crew members and helped to their assigned decks. But all familiar things must eventually come to an end: two final travelers come through the Ingress. The first, and most noticeable difference between them and all the others, is their clothing. Both are dressed in standard Moira uniforms, though they bear the insignia of one sharing the same rank as Captains Cúrre and Thán. After a moment to take in all the people on the platform ahead of them, one of the two latest arrivals approaches one of the Ingress panels and begins to manipulate the controls. The Ingress completely shuts down. Unlike before, however, there isn’t an imbalance felt across the ship; everything remains normal and stable.
Utilizing the computer systems located in the Ingress room, they send out the following message to the crew via the MID:To all those aboard this vessel: I am Ira Phirun, assigned captain of the Moira. First Mate Egan and I will be commandeering all rights to the ship as soon as word is sent to those currently in charge. Expect a more detailed report as soon as all records and logs in Navigation have been reviewed by myself and the First Mate. All questions will be answered in a timely matter. For now, there will be no interruption of daily routine or reprimand if conduct among ranks is broken. Thanks for your time. Heading to Navigation, the Captain and First Mate, for seemingly unknown reasons, approach Navigator Manasseh and have her show them all records and logs of the Moira. Those working in Navigation when the Captain and First Mate arrive will see Mana greet them in a professional manner. Oddly, the Captain and First Mate act very familiar with the Navigator. They review all documents, but when they come upon news that the Ploiatos is on board, their mostly friendly demeanor shifts quickly. The Captain issues a sharp order, unintelligible to those who are close enough to overhear parts of their conversation, and without any warning at all, Mana loses consciousness and collapses right there on the bridge. Within minutes of this happening, the ship as a whole falls into a low power state with basic functions only. Mana’s MID alerts Medbay, and without hesitation, Captain Cúrre places her in cryo with strict orders to those who work there not to disturb the unit.
As promised, the Captain and First Mate soon address the crew.☄ lights down low The lighting has dimmed in all the rooms and halls, the normally crisp air that is pumped from the vents low, and all machines and tech are running at half-speed. These effects can be found throughout the ship. Water in the showers remain hot for only a few minutes before reverting to cold. Recreational equipment powers off not long after it has been turned on. The sanitation and water filtration systems require an hourly manual reboot, and all unused areas of the ship have no power allotted to them until a crew member steps inside. Even then, most functions are not optimal. It’s as if the Moira has been transformed into a dark house with only a candle flickering on the window sill. ☄ reuse & recycle The Captain and First Mate are quick to establish that this is a new regime and go about making the ship and its crew more efficient in the wake of their change in course and the low power state of the ship itself. This means they will systematically inspect each occupied barracks room and leave notes for what needs to be disposed of or stowed away. Unlike before, this is no longer a pleasure cruise, and each member of the crew is a guest on board; they will not tolerate useless clutter. Anything seen as unnecessary will be either placed into storage in the Cargo Bay or disposed of through the airlock. This new need for efficiency also extends to the need to conserve resources until they reach their destination. The showers are set to an automatic timer to minimize water waste. Those few minutes of hot water are all a crew member is now given. Meals are smaller, bordering on ration sizes, and luxuries are done away with entirely in order to preserve supplies so that the ship can go longer before needing to dock at a planet. ☄ new jobs, same faces The Captain and his First Mate, as expressed in their addressing of the Moira, explain that work efficiency is a priority. Applications for a head of the following departments will be accepted for a short period: Navigation, the Tower, Medbay, Defense, the Hold, Sanitation, Ingress work, and the Galley/Mess Hall. (Here.) After reviewing what they receive, one head of department will be chosen and tasked with helping crew find positions relevant to those departments and their own skillsets. They will be allowed to retain any positions that they held before that aren’t ship-functional jobs, but they will have to be done in leisure time. In two weeks time, they’ll be accepting department position applications which will be approved, and all those that do not apply will be assigned in accordance with their initial work application. They will also choose three individuals to act as guards of Ploiatos to ensure that there is a rotation available at all times. Will you choose to follow this new decision and promote yourself into a position of responsibility? Or will you simply wait for a reassignment?
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hownkai) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou_log2016-08-01 12:13 am
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[No, he's not being contrary. Yes, it's a real question.
The delivery might be demanding, but the sentiment?
Ginko just tried to push Kaworu into a realm of thought just beyond his capabilities--a uniquely human territory where Angels cannot tread.
Or perhaps for them it's barren land; Angels are beings of a completed self, without the flaws and insecurities of human beings.
Either way. Where do you think Kaworu is going to find the capacity for that?]
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I... I can't tell you that. S'not up to me.
But I guess you should probably just... act like you.
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What if this is me?
[Have you considered that, Ginko?]
Maybe you were misled before, but I'm nothing but myself.
[It's not his fault if you're disappointed to find this is all there is.]
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[He answers before thinking, then closes his mouth and glances away again.]
I mean, it's...
The way you were before. The last few times we talked, that... it felt more like it was you. This doesn't.
[He wishes he could believe that this is how Kaworu really is. It's closer to the way he was when they met, when he taught Ginko how to play piano and let him take his time, and when he was nice about it.
But Ginko can't believe that. Not anymore.]
Besides, you... it wouldn't make sense for you to be pretending before. Frisk said you had trouble talking to people without making them upset, and it caused a lot of problems. That was harder than acting like this, wasn't it?
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There is no 'him.' It can only feel like the Kaworu that Ginko expects him to be. That Ginko wants to be real. The Kaworu that he tried to give Ginko and Frisk--even if they disliked him, they grew attached to him.
Isn't that what he was always meant to be? A ritual object designed to camouflage among humans.]
Wouldn't it?
You disliked it, but you're going to such effort for it now.
[He isn't blind to how much Ginko is struggling.
But it was like that with Shinji, too. He hated Kaworu's attempts to understand him, rejected his desperate bid for Shinji's attention--but it was his determined interest in Shinji and his desire for reciprocal feelings that grew a bond between them.
There's a very simple explanation for that, when you think about it.
Humans like it when you pay attention to them. They like it when they feel like someone is trying to understand them. He's starting to feel confused. But he's certain about that.]
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Well... yeah. But you were... were trying to understand people better, weren't you? Even if you weren't very good at it.
Now, it kind of seems like you've just... given up. I... I might be wrong, but it seems a lot like you're just doing what you know will make people like you.
[Of course, it doesn't hurt Ginko's perception of the situation that this is a situation he's pretty familiar with himself. Doing what will keep people happy is safe, after all.
Or, at least, it seems like it should be.]
...It can't work forever.
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[So if he acts like he's trying, you dislike him.... but if he doesn't try, you tell him to go back to what you don't like?
There is a long, four or five second long silence.
Then his shoulders start to shake.
And he starts to snicker.
Then titter.
Then laugh.
He's laughing at you, Ginko.]
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This... is unexpected. Ginko leans back a little, his shoulders hunching as he twists the fabric of his shirt in his hands. There's a cold feeling not totally unlike fear bunching up in his stomach. He tries as hard as he can to keep his breathing steady.]
Wh... what?
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[Kaworu manages to curb his laughter long enough to reply--but instead of sounding mirthful, it's half declarative. And... maybe half accusatory?]
If I try to be human, you dislike me for it. But if I don't try to be human, you demand I go back to trying?
[His smile stays. But it isn't the usual easy smile most people see when they talk with Kaworu. It isn't the warm benevolent smile of understanding from the first time Kaworu met Ginko, either. It isn't even the cold, knowing smile that quite literally everybody who knows Kaworu hates so much.
It's just--well.]
It's irrational.
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No, that's not-- I never disliked you. The... the things you said were... they hurt sometimes, but it didn't mean I disliked you for saying them.
But now...
[He shakes his head a little.] I know it's... it is. I know. But is this-- do you really think this is better?
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[Oh.
That's what this is about.
Now he understands.
He smiles.]
What I do doesn't matter. What you'd call a "person"... in my case, it's merely an illusion.
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He knows perfectly well at this point that Kaworu isn't human, as much as he may look like one. But...]
...What do you think I would call a person?
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What separates a "person" from a living being? What separates human beings from the rest of what might be called "human?"
Is it free will? The ability to make choices? Or to choose one's own fate?
Or is it the ability to be someone. To possess identity, individuality, and have others recognise that self in you? ]
Mmmm.
[He glances aside. It's not often a topic is unpleasant or uncomfortable for Kaworu. But this one...]
...it's more than free will. Even animals have their own will.
[Even he has that. It's deeply precious to him--the one thing that truly belongs to him.
The power--even the right--to express his absolute freedom of will, to die of his own choice and meet the inevitability of his death as he wishes. If he has nothing else--and he does not--he will claim this one power as his own.
In doing so, he may give his life a meaning of his own choosing.
But he does not operate under the illusion that it makes him a person.]
To be a person, you must possess a self, and the ability to choose what that self may become.
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...Why... can't you choose?
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Kaworu, though...
He looks at Ginko a little strangely, then turns dismissive.]
It doesn't matter.
If the Ingress gets fixed, none of this will.
[He... smiles?]
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...Well, of course. The Ingress being fixed means everyone goes home.
Some of them have more waiting for them there than others.
He manages to make himself speak after a couple seconds.]
...It will.
[It has to.]
Even if everything around you goes back to how it was, you'll... you'll still remember everything, right? 'N that could matter just on its own.
[If Kaworu can come to feel like he might have a choice in who he is... maybe he will.]
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[Kaworu doesn't pause even a beat.
And he doesn't stop smiling, either. It's become a sort of warm, embracing smile, full of sincerity--and acceptance.]
But it is my hope that it will for you.
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That last part mostly goes over his head, sinking in just enough to make that painful, despairing tightness in his chest even worse.]
But it... it could. How do you know it can't?
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But then he smiles. Knowingly. Reassuringly.]
It's all right.
If the Ingress is fixed, everything will be fine.
[And if it's not...
...what is he supposed to do?]
... but time is a precious resource to me. In theory, I have it in an amount unlimited, unbounded by the finite experiences of present and future.
But it's not mine to choose how that time is allotted me, nor mine to choose the mechanism of my existence. If I'm being honest, I have to follow the script written for me, or I have no choices at all.
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But he understands that, for whatever reason, Kaworu is pretty certain that he really doesn't have any choices.]
But how can that... that doesn't seem right. [Factually or ethically? Maybe both.] You... you can do so much. Why wouldn't you be able to make your own choices? It's not...
[He trails off, his mouth pressing into a thin line.]
This is so anime I stg.
[Are you ready for this, Ginko?]
i mean to be fair they are animes
[He definitely isn't ready. In fact, he kind of realizes he's not sure he's ready. But that doesn't mean he won't ask.]
You can tell by the white hair
[Morbid words--but the sincerity of his tone and purity of his smile might be enough contrast to recast them in a less terrible light.
He doesn't intend to impart a sense of fatalism, after all. It may be a single choice, but it is his.
Having that choice taken from him--
That is what he abhors about the Moira, the Ingress, and the captains.
His purpose--
His hope--
Of his choosing--]
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[Dying?
For a second or two, Ginko is motionless, seemingly frozen as what Kaworu said sinks in. He might not even be breathing for those few moments.]
But... that's--
[He bites his lip, trying to force his breath not to catch or speed up, fighting against the tightness that's threatening to take over his chest all over again.]
It's...
That doesn't seem like much of a choice.
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[Kaworu sounds so incredibly certain about this--almost to the point of appearing unaware of the impact he's having on Ginko. To him, it makes perfect sense. ]
In dying of my own will--as I wish to die--my life can be given meaning.
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'What I do doesn't matter.'
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