Cúrre (
hownkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-06-01 12:20 am
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Entry tags:
- *intro log,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dragon age: dorian pavus,
- frozen: elsa,
- mass effect: clone shepard,
- mass effect: commander shepard,
- mass effect: nihlus kryik,
- mcu: james buchanan barnes,
- mcu: natasha romanoff,
- mcu: tony stark,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: liquid snake,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- original character: adrien arbuckal,
- persona 4: yu narukami,
- red vs blue: agent texas,
- star wars: rey,
- the walking dead: carl grimes (crau),
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- uncharted: chloe frazer,
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: frisk,
- undertale: mettaton,
- x-men movies: charles xavier,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
( june intro log )
Who: Everyone
When: June 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Collectives ASH3 - BF3 - CLF5
What: The crew finds themselves visiting the vacation spot of the Collective.
Warnings: None for now. Please label your content!
When: June 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Collectives ASH3 - BF3 - CLF5
What: The crew finds themselves visiting the vacation spot of the Collective.
Warnings: None for now. Please label your content!
I N T R O L O G |
"Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us."
|
no subject
What, so he's a career criminal.
Laden with a couple of shopping bags, he's in pretty good spirits, but sobers up a bit when he spots Rey peering through the window of a nearby store, which seems to specialize in shoes and exotic fish, or else is just very creative in their window displays. It's not like he's been avoiding her or anything, but he's been putting off seeking her out for what's likely to be a less than pleasant conversation. Well, maybe it won't be so bad if they can have it in pleasant surroundings? ]
Not the kinda trading outpost you're used to, I bet.
[ He sidles up, leans a shoulder against the glass. ]
no subject
Until she's distracted by a familiar voice and forgets all about it.
A slight turn puts her face-to-face with Han, and she immediately appraises him. Holding parcels, walking like he already owns the place. Just like the infamous smuggler she'd always heard stories about. It makes her smile, even if it's a little sheepish. Because he's right, she's never been anywhere like this before. The closest would have been Takodana, but that would only be for the amount of people.]
Not even remotely.
no subject
(She'd say something, wouldn't she? If she was his. Ben hadn't, but it's different. Because whoever she is, Rey doesn't hate him. It's awful, this second-guessing everything.)
Either way, it doesn't matter-- he can't keep ignoring the potential for answers to his endless questions.]
Come get a cup of caf or something?
[The charming smile he flashes is, actually, perfectly genuine-- nonetheless, it's a trap.]
no subject
Yeah, sure. I don't need... whatever that is, anyway.
[She's already bought a few things for herself (clothes, shoes, other basic necessities); it's the first time she's ever spent money, and it's been pretty overwhelming. But a simple drink will ease her nerves, she thinks. At least that kind of thing is familiar to her.]
no subject
He leads them to a little bakery, not too far away-- he'd noticed it earlier, though he wouldn't have stopped if he hadn't had the excuse of company. It's not quite as focused on ornate pastries as some of the others but there's a good spread of cookies and muffins and the like, which he ignores, ordering just a plain caf and staking out a little table for them as she orders. It's not entirely private, but it'll do.
Fussing apparently idly with his MID, he waits for her to join him, covering his restlessness with a practiced casual posture.]
no subject
Rey moves to join Han at the table, unable to stop herself from scanning the little café for possible danger. Old habits die hard, even if nobody here looks as if they're ready to start a fight. You can never be too careful, especially on Jakku.
When she finally sits, Rey turns her gaze to him, trying to get a read. Vaguely, she can sense some kind of uneasiness coming from him (thanks, Force), but she shakes it off. Maybe he's just uncomfortable here, too. Conversations aren't her strong suit though, so she mirrors his silence instead.]
no subject
He lets her settle in with her drink, takes a sip of his own while staring out the window at the passing crowds, the brightly lit displays across the way. This Collective wouldn't feel too out of place in the Core, he thinks. Which leaves a lot of questions about what the further reaches of this galaxy are like.
But that, like the topic he means to broach, is hardly a relaxing thought. After a moment he leans forward to show her his MID, the crew portrait of Kylo Ren already pulled up. Han's expression is serious and intent. Honestly, it only helps highlight the resemblance between them.]
I need to you to tell me everything you know about him.
[Sorry, kid.]
no subject
And then she turns to see what he's showing her on the MID and her heart freezes.
Hazel eyes dart up to meet his before landing back on the picture. She feels sick to her stomach seeing it, from rage and fear, and has to turn away. She grips the coffee cup too tight and can feel the stress she's putting on it with her hands. Rey makes herself set it on the table. The clank of porcelain on metal is too loud. There's a buzzing in her ears, and she knows it's the Force reacting to her emotions. Rey does her best to calm down, but still can't look at him or the portrait.
Teeth grinding, her mind flies through thoughts. How had they met? Why hadn't she known? Had Kylo Ren done anything to harm his father (again)? Did Han even know he had a son? He and General Organa are too young to have conceived yet, according to her brief history lesson in the Resistance base. She wants to run away from this table, to hide, to find Kylo and kill him like she couldn't on Starkiller.
She wants to keep him from killing the only father she'd even partway known again.
When her voice finally comes, it's a dry rasp, and she can taste blood in her mouth. Whether it's a memory of her duel with Ren or because she's bitten her lip, she can't tell.]
What do you already know?
no subject
It's almost enough to make him change tack again, blurt out the other big question-- who the hell are you, Rey?-- but this subject is too important to drop, no matter how painful.
Though it's out of her sight, he hasn't dismissed the image of his son's face. Angry, haughty, already impossibly familiar, now that he knows what to look for. It's like prodding at a toothache, he can't stop stealing glances now and then. He takes a moment to mull over her question, trying to find words he can actually force out in answer.]
He told his mother he killed me.
[Low and hushed, that's the best he can manage. It implies all the other things, doesn't it? Kylo Ren hates him. His son hates him, and Han needs to understand why.
You should run, he'd said, but of course Han hadn't. Those words are proving impossible to just brush away, even if he can't bring himself to believe there's any kind of hope there. Even without understanding the Force, it's simple to see the darkness in that young man's eyes... But even if he knows he's being foolish, he wonders whether there's anything else. He could have killed him, that first time, when Han had just arrived, was unarmed and unaware, but he'd left instead.
Maybe--]
We called him Ben.
[Their son. He needs to understand if there's anything left of their son, beneath all that hatred.]
no subject
Rey can't imagine what that kind of love feels like, and she hates that Kylo would just give it up like it meant nothing at all to him.
It's when Han says his name aloud that Rey loses what little control she has left.]
He threw that name away.
[Her words are harsh, spat out like tainted water. She doesn't even take the time to appreciate how Jedi-like she sounded. She's said too much, she knows it as soon as she speaks, but she's beyond caring. Han Solo is sitting here in front of her, asking about a son that hates him, hates everything he came from, and he's using a name he should be cursing. She hadn't been able to see his face when he'd gone to meet Kylo Ren on that bridge, but she had felt the hope radiating off him as he'd walked to his death. She didn't need to Force sensitive to feel it.
Han had been a father trying to save his son, and his son had betrayed him.
The cup cracks beneath her grip and Rey knows she needs to move. She can't just sit here like this. She had watched Han die, had mourned him with his wife. Had all her dreams of the famous smuggler realized in the flesh and then torn away by an ungrateful child. It's too much to think about, to deal with again.
Rey releases the mug just short of shattering it, and stands. She walks away from the table, not caring that she hasn't paid, knowing that he'll probably follow her. She cares about that, at least. It keeps her from bolting outright, instead keeping her at a steady walk. There are too many people here, she's feeling too many things. She can feel the Force all around her and she tries to reign her senses in--she knows from the little training she's had that unchecked, the power can be deadly.
She wishes Kylo were around, so she could let it loose on him for what he's putting them all through.]
no subject
He watches long enough to get a sense of which way she's headed and then settles up quick as he can, chasing after. Maybe that was inevitable. Even without knowing a damn thing about either of them, he could guess that Rey would hate Kylo Ren if she knew him. That's the question, really, whether she did. How she knew him, or any of them.
What he needs is insight, an answer to what went wrong, and he still doesn't know if she can help him. This isn't fair at all, he knows that, but there aren't a lot of options.]
New question,
[he huffs, once he's back in earshot, awkwardly jogging along to catch up with her because running in a crowd like this isn't an option.]
Who the hell are you?
[Nope, that's wrong, that's definitely not the right way to ask that question, but he's frustrated enough not to care. There's too much history ahead of him, too much he doesn't know how to navigate. Sharing space on the Moira it's impossible to avoid his future entirely, even if that would be easier.
Maybe if he could just get one question answered... The way she reacted, sad and angry, barely controlled-- jealous? What is it? Why?
He reaches out to grab her shoulder, if she'll let him, stop her in the middle of the walkway. Too late to let this go.]
no subject
But even Rey, with her almost endless secret optimism, doesn't believe it would work.
Even once he catches up, she doesn't turn. It isn't until she feels his hand on her shoulder that she whirls around to face him, face scrunched up as she tries to hold back her tears. He looks so desperate for knowledge, and she can feel that he wants to know what's coming so badly. Rey can't hold back any longer. The words come pouring out unchecked. Consequences are the furthest thing from her mind right now. All she cares about is giving him the information he needs but doesn't deserve to hear. Not because he's unworthy, but because she's afraid it will break him.
And this Han still has so much of his life to live.]
I'm nobody! Just a scavenger from Jakku who got dragged into some stupid war that had nothing to do with me until Kylo Ren started blowing up my desert. You want to know who I am? Well, so do I! Everybody wants to know who I am, and I can't tell them because I don't know.
[It's a truth she hasn't even really admitted to herself until now. She's lost and unwanted, an orphan dropped on a planet. Her parents, if they'd been her parents at all, were never coming back for her. They might not have ever intended to see her again after leaving her in Unkar Plutt's "care." But she'll never know, and it eats away at her every day.]
But you know what I can tell you? It's true. He killed you, and I watched him do it. I--I tried to kill him, and I couldn't. Instead I let him live and now he's here, and so are you, and--
[The tears fall now, and she doesn't try to stop them any longer. All she'd wanted was to get to know him on her own, without any pretenses or hidden agendas, and she'd messed it all up. Worst of all, she's crying in front of him. One of the only people she's ever looked up to. Rey wretches her shoulder from his grasp and scrubs her arm across her face.]
no subject
What doesn't ring true is the claim that she's nobody. Given his apparent track record, she might as well be his kid, he thinks ruefully. It doesn't make any sense that he'd abandon her, but whatever they did to Ben makes no sense, either. The way she talks, though-- the tears streaming down her face, she can't have been nobody to him. Han might have little faith in himself lately, but he can't imagine someone who obviously cares so inexplicably deeply about him wouldn't matter.
Perhaps that ought to be enough to prove to him that he can't be that terrible of a father, but what the hell does he know about feeling paternal?
On the other hand, he does know one thing: he's really not pleased that he's made her cry. And he's got no clue what to do about it.]
Hey, [he says gently, trying to sound soothing, letting her pull free but not backing off.] I'm just trying to understand what happened. Will happen.
[Inevitably will happen, but for the moment, it hasn't yet for him.]
Sorry-- look, let's go back, or somewhere else, and sit down, okay? [A certain desperation is still in his tone. He doesn't want to make this harder on her, but there aren't a lot of options.] I don't have anyone else to ask.
no subject