Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-12-02 06:54 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- breaking bad: jesse pinkman,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- guilty gear: venom,
- mass effect: commander shepard,
- mcu: natasha romanoff,
- mcu: pepper potts,
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: tony stark,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- mushishi: ginko (crau),
- original character: adrien arbuckal,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: fareeha "pharah" amari,
- overwatch: lena oxton,
- overwatch: lúcio,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- red vs blue: agent texas,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- the walking dead: carl grimes (crau),
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- undertale: mettaton,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
december event log
Who: Everyone
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
E V E N T L O G |
"Open up, and let them in."
|
no subject
He wants, so maybe it is.
Maybe.
One point. Two. Pressure maps itself in a careful cluster of potential, circuits prickling as a savage ache of expectation settles in his dock. He doesn't move. He doesn't, he won't (and really, would it matter if he tried?). Power surge or shutdown, edit or hook or hollowing erasure, Clu's purpose is a thought alone from execution. It's more deadly than a leveled disk. It's much, much more terrifying.
One last thing. Sound clatters out a raw, broken grind, despair and panic looped too tightly to execute. His chin tilts up, a fractional lift, but Rinzler does. Not. Flinch.
Say it.
no subject
...He's trembling, or they both are, weighed down with impending favor.
“Stay,” is the form it takes, strangely ragged for the size, and not loud. “As long as you're yourself, you're mine.”
He shuts his eyes, not requiring or trusting them, not any more than his voice.
“Promise or don't,” soft, bitter as intent crystallizes under his nails, “but don't lie.”
He must just be tired.
no subject
It's simple. It's basic. The order chains itself through process and priority, finds a dozen inbuilt iterations, and quite nearly cancels on the spot. Staying is a fact already, corollary to obey and serve. It's what it means to belong to someone. To be a belonging.
Rinzler has never, ever, been anything more.
Tron was. Tron was, but Tron is dead, cut and split and pared away to voiceless fury, a corrupted, constant scrape of sound. Rinzler is not Tron, and Rinzler has no idea when core definitions faltered, when an order that should never have needed to be voiced became a tremulous insistence. It's not a question. Not as such, not here and now.
But it's the promise that going forward, it could be.
This is more than just not back. This is forward, down a vector Rinzler could never have looked for. An option that he still can't allow himself to name. It flags a choice well past accounting, a future value that Rinzler has no way to predict. Stay, stay, stay and he can feel the weight, as grounding and suffocating as the grip still pinning him in place.
The faceless shell dips and rises: hesitant, heavy. As sure as he can be.
He promises.
no subject
He’d just insisted on confirmation of a constant--a measure, perhaps, of how far they've already come. He's felt it much too keenly, here, in this ridiculous open User system that looms incalculably large: he can repurpose programs or he can destroy them.
And Rinzler is so certain he wants both. Close enough--as sure as he can be, and that's sufficient.
It has to be.
“Yes,” small and hot against the backs of his teeth. Permission granted is liberty taken, a neat doubled track of fingers, clean to waiting terminal ends that brighten for the pressure. “Of course, yes; I promise...Told you I would.”
Grinning, glib and cheerful and so, so careful with the variables. It's a restatement, not a reward, and Rinzler mistrusts that brand of pleasure, anyway.
Clu wonders, idly, if the complete absence of pain is proving equally unnerving.
“There,” sighed above a neat greek key of fresh conditions, signed and sealed. Gold threads already reddening in acceptance as Rinzler quite literally absorbs the situation. “See how that fits, huh?”
no subject
Clu's words, against Clu's edits.
The update is live. Disk to dock to frame and function, no lag to review or consolidate the change. There's no other programmer present to watch, and it says a great deal about how far off standards they've been here that this is the first time. But Clu knows what Clu wants, and lines shift under his programmer's touch, deleting and expanding at a thought. Rinzler shifts; Rinzler changes; Rinzler clings to everything he is, breathless and sick with desperation.
He doesn't know what Clu is doing. He never knows, but it's much too late to pull away. He can't (Clu won't permit him to destroy himself), so there's no purpose, absolutely none, to looping now. Over what a sickening, perfect trap this all might prove. Over just how much Clu could do that wouldn't count as going back. Clu keeps his promises, but this one is so very small, and Rinzler's administrator has a thousand cycles' practice in calculating cruelty.
(A thousand cycles, breaking him.)
Rinzler waits, dizzy and helpless, to learn how much that promise costs. When lines close and touch recedes external, it's all he can do not to stagger, braced against something that's not there. Was that it? Clu murmurs a status-check, and diagnostics obediently respond, but he doesn't feel any different. As hard as he'd clung, as much as he'd struggled—
None of it hurts.
He hasn't even thrown an error. Search returns new subsets to directive, each condition he'd agreed to layered in hard-code. No changing his mind (he hadn't planned to). There's something different to the flickering of background processing as well, a subtle shift that doesn't match to expectation. Faster? More space? Maybe, but how...
Noise stutters, search stalled on a new term, and this time, Rinzler does stumble, a fractional, unsteady sway before his mask jerks up. It's minute and specific, conditional and locked to Clu alone, but this has to be the error. (Or the trap.) And if that makes just as little sense as the permission... it can't be right. His admin nearly wiped him once already just tonight for trying.
He knows Clu doesn't want to hear his voice.
no subject
No room for second guesses; it has to be perfect.
And hesitating now would go so badly for the program kicking up jagged tag clouds of misgiving under the steady tracks of his touch. Clu learned in the early days. He knew better than anybody what fear did to miracles.
No time for that now. This is revisions, restoration--gently paring stacks to their bases, sealing off forks that were spooling nowhere, adding a true where false had pushed a bad check and started an endless hunt for reconfirmation, here or there.
No one over his shoulder has to tell him to be careful. He knows just what would suit, and now, now he's free to give it to Rinzler himself.
It doesn't hurt because there's no reason it should, kinetic throughput precise and scalpel clean.
"I've told you before," soft, hazy and secondary to the transfer, to pure will underlying it. There, that'll be beautiful when it's done, when it flowers to its conclusions in Rinzler's code--when he becomes what, just maybe, Clu should have allowed from the start.
"I know it's in there, somewhere...?"
And now it makes sense, the stark terror caught between his best inference and Rinzler's best guess: speaking at all, holding his tongue versus losing his head, and he can hardly consider things like tone, like valence and word choice, off a memory he flatly no longer has.
Long since, with an armful of welling shattered cyan pixels Clu would never, could never, forget--he had done his best to spare Rinzler any recollection of what dying actually felt like. And of why it had almost happened.
"You are my best effort, and of all I've made you are my favorite." All his conviction, warm and sure, input rich and constant as rain. "You are, or you will be, the instrument of everything I've ever worked for."
He doesn't want to let go. But there's no reason not to, or none strong enough to be--correct--and here in this new system there are so many concerned for his program's welfare. He's not the only one with access to the logs.
He could do anything he wanted. Anything at all. His fingertips ache with the urge to try, numb to the hilt with potential.
And Alan-1 would know all about it. Just for a start.
"Trust me, just a little, knowing that you're too valuable to risk."
no subject
Nothing, at least, but listen.
He's always been Clu's favorite. (Favorite weapon.) (Favorite tool.) Clu's enforcer, (Clu's pet,) Clu's very favorite project: to test, to task, to whittle down. He can run for longer on less power than any function on the Grid, maintain defaults regardless of damage or pain. He can kill anything his admin wants, with fluid grace or agonizing slowness.
Rinzler can. Rinzler could. But he's refused Clu's orders, struggled back, shattered defaults so thoroughly as to half-discard the set. Rinzler is so, so far from the perfect weapon that Clu made, and he...
...he hadn't thought Clu wanted him.
He's still not sure. You will be, though, and Rinzler doesn't move, but the stutter of his sound catches, a shiver of recycled breath behind the shell. Clu promised not to set him back. Clu promised, so that has to mean something different. A future value (forward), one he can't predict, but... maybe not so far away.
Maybe.
Trust is as impossible a command as always. But stacks pair and forks seal, values shift and realign, and Rinzler lowers his head, noise quieting as he waits for Clu to finish.
no subject
Clu's already asked so much of him, and then pushed for more. He's nudged allowances wide, standards splayed across their matrices until he can feel the strain, stretching old arrays for new values. And from the dock like this, with no delay between interface and input--there's no sense in being so careful, in being this thorough, in feeding Rinzler promises just to work him raw.
It's accurate. That doesn't make it quite right--and there's more to do. There's always more to do, but undue force will corrupt the pull request.
And he's done enough already.
The last digit aligns, whole and complete, and Clu releases his grip at last.
"I know you." With his fingers free, it's bare fact. No hint of signal loss. "I know you'll be careful with this--because you remember what it cost."
He can feel his lips quirk, snarl or smile. "I look forward to hearing from you."
no subject
And that singular exception is still hovering in queue.
Not an error. Not an error, and Rinzler wants it. He wants more. The impulse flickers through cognition, reckless and half-strangled by the weight of possibility. He wants his voice. He wants all of it, wants the function to be his. He wants his face back. He wants to see himself, see what Clu did to every line that makes him. Rinzler wants so much, so badly, when just a handful of microcycles back he'd been suffocating in the certainty that he would never be able to want anything again.
This is enough. Enough for now, and he will have a later, and that makes this everything. Even the power drain only dampens the electric brightness of his lights a little, a steady hum of awareness that borders on sheer awe. It's not a guarantee. Nothing is, least of all out here, and Rinzler knows that, knows that everything can end badly, and in how many ways.
But he's never before considered the chance that what he's become could turn out well.
He'll be careful. He'll remember. Facts, not orders, and even the line that follows holds only a latent pause of expectation. Enough to prompt obedience for any other form of output, but this is new (is different)—but Rinzler wants to, and he can. Clu's enforcer doesn't move from his position, but there's a slight tip of the helmet. Not down, but up.
"You won't regret it."
The words are clear. The voice, familiar. The noise that rumbles out beneath is quiet, and no interruption. Fact, not thanks. And with that certainty, another promise, challenging and sharp.
I won't fail.
I'll prove it.
I'm better this way.
no subject
Familiar voice, familiar phrasing, clear and familiar pride. Even on their knees under the sword, knights are still knights.
He considers that, blinking, and I do already, but it does not pass Clu's lips and does not escape the queue.
"I have every confidence in you," he says instead, sure and warm as praise, and it is no less true.
After all, look where they are.
Look what they made.