Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-12-02 06:54 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- breaking bad: jesse pinkman,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- guilty gear: venom,
- mass effect: commander shepard,
- mcu: natasha romanoff,
- mcu: pepper potts,
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: tony stark,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- mushishi: ginko (crau),
- original character: adrien arbuckal,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: fareeha "pharah" amari,
- overwatch: lena oxton,
- overwatch: lúcio,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- red vs blue: agent texas,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- the walking dead: carl grimes (crau),
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- undertale: mettaton,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
december event log
Who: Everyone
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
E V E N T L O G |
"Open up, and let them in."
|
cw panic and dissociation
Sniffles and heaving breaths start and stutter, swift and shallow but then slower, slower. Both hands close over their disk and they pretend it's an icicle, think about the sharp pain the cold brings. A prickle and tingle that lingers even after you let go. Focus, focus. Tie yourself down, stop floating away.
They sniffle, shake their head and take another deep breath. The only waterfalls they've seen were flowing, over rocks or filled with garbage. They can't imagine what one must look like turned to ice. Is it all in chunks, like out of a freezer? Or is it like a lake, still on the outside but roaring past underneath?
no subject
Make it work for you. It will burn and bleed and sting either way. At least this way, this way, you use it to your advantage.
"It's like the water froze in mid-air," Chara says softly. "There are bubbles frozen in the water, like soda."
You remember soda, don't you, Frisk? Sickly yellow liquid. If only they could remember which one of them disliked it.
no subject
Their eyes drop to Chara's hand, and again there is a few seconds before they act. Slow, careful, trying their hardest to not disturb the moment or break whatever spell holds this offer in place, they reach out and lay their hand lightly, so lightly into Chara's palm. Want to grab and cling and hold but they won't. Can't be selfish, can't be greedy. Don't take more than you're given, remember your place. If you cling too tightly it just hurts worse when it's ripped away again.
Chara is warm. They're here. ...they're here.
"...I'm...sorry."
no subject
They wrestle it down. They've enough LOVE in their heart to muzzle it into silence for now.
"You think some mindless, faceless thing is worth your life?" They jerk their head in the direction of the carcass as it sprawls there, ungainly, still and always not dissolving away into dust. A mess, a real mess. Suitable, for them. Fitting. "If I were not here, what do you think would have happened? Would have tried and date it into submission, perhaps?"
no subject
"I..."
They've been taught the rule of this place plenty of times on this journey. Ceta, D.E.L., the Grid, the Cadeuceans...kill or be killed. Surrounded by Floweys, and nothing they do ever stops any of it.
They're not enough. They'll never be enough.
"Could've...run. Gotten away."
no subject
And here they are, making Frisk feel bad for it. Sickening. What a repulsive creature.
"I told you to run, and you didn't."
But is that truly so surprising? Frisk made their opinions quite obvious, and have continued to do so with absolute clarity. So desperate to hold onto something, so afraid of its loss, that they'd jeopardize their own life simply to make sure it would remain.
no subject
"Not without you."
They can't leave them behind. Can't let go, can't stand the thought that they'll wake up again to find an empty bed across from them, a name stricken out in red, the presence they've ached for vanished like so much mist. Can't let them fall down into that dark path again, have to keep them safe, keep them right, can't lose you again.
Selfish.
"I...I wanted t'...t' keep you safe." Protect them, SAVE them from the world, take the blows for them because Chara has already suffered so much, haven't they? Let them rest, let them be happy, just...let them do something that has a chance to last. "But I just got you hurt again."
no subject
"A FIGHT is an exchange of blows," says Chara, "not a deliverance. Both parties will always walk away hurt, if they walk away at all." And the exceptions to this are few and far between. If you are a dirty cheat, for example. If you are never given the opportunity to strike at all.
"And how would you anticipate keeping me safe should that thing have struck a bit harder?" For a moment Chara's eyes blaze coldly, unsmiling. "From beyond the grave, perhaps? An exchange of roles for the pair of us?"
Now is not the time for scathing commentary. They should understand this. They are far from the comfort Frisk needs, but they refuse to leave, they refuse to listen. And so, this is what they get.
It will have to suffice.
"Protecting me at the expense of yourself is an unequal trade." The ratio of people who would miss Chara compared to those who would miss Frisk...it is incomparable, of course. It always is.
no subject
And yet...
"No, it's not."
Frisk shakes their head, swallows hard and ducks their head once more. Since when did their life hold any value? Since when would anyone be better off if Frisk were alive?
"You're...I can't lose you again. I can't."
It's the only thing they're good for. Take a few hits, go back, figure out a new strategy, try again. Be the crutch someone needs to find their way out of danger, carry someone when they can't move for themself. It's okay, because they always...
...get back up again.
no subject
But Chara - Chara is easy. They are watercolor, and they wash off. They've touched no one's life so deeply that they cannot be cast aside, easily, and leave naught but a darkened smear where they once were.
They are staring at the single exception. But Frisk is always the exception. They will claim that they are until the point that they'll know, as they must eventually learn, that Chara is just as replaceable as any best friend. As any name that gets carved away so another may be inputted in its place.
Easy to change, isn't it?
"Do not presume to weigh your life against mine." There is a warning, soft and edged, buried beneath the words. "You are the one who has friends here. You are the one who would be missed."
no subject
Don't kill, and don't be killed. Funny how hard that promise is to uphold.
"You would be missed," they murmur, but the conviction isn't there. Asriel would miss them, yes, and Toriel, if she knew. Peter as well, but...it's distant relations, ones Chara would never acknowledge. No, they would see all the pain in the hearts of those Frisk has fooled, and blame themself for it. Take the sin upon themself, as if they had wished for it in the first place.
Every way they turn, it's only more pain. When did it become this way?
Frisk sniffles, swallows hard, and looks up again, forcing themself to meet Chara's eyes. "I...I'll go back. 'M sorry."
no subject
If Frisk is truly so desperate to cling to them throughout everything, it is because they lack any better alternative. Let us not fool ourselves.
But then, gratingly, cunningly, glaringly, the fallen child is backed once more into a corner of their own making. Stressing the importance of Frisk's safety, insisting they return, and then acknowledging that, alone, the human cannot possibly hope to make it very far at all.
They could tear themself out of the four-walled argument they themself created, but that option is - less appealing than the obvious solution.
They concede their loss, holding out a hand as they shift on their haunches in preparation to rise.
"Come on. Obviously I can't expect you to make it very far on your own."
no subject
"Thank you."
Their hand curls around Chara's, and...ha ha. That's a bit worn out these days, isn't it?
no subject
So it is of little consequence. They will lead them out of the dark.
They are entirely the wrong person to do so, but Frisk always puts their faith into those that have continually, that always have and always will, lead them astray.