Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-12-02 06:54 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- breaking bad: jesse pinkman,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- guilty gear: venom,
- mass effect: commander shepard,
- mcu: natasha romanoff,
- mcu: pepper potts,
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: tony stark,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- mushishi: ginko (crau),
- original character: adrien arbuckal,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: fareeha "pharah" amari,
- overwatch: lena oxton,
- overwatch: lúcio,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- red vs blue: agent texas,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- the walking dead: carl grimes (crau),
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- undertale: mettaton,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
december event log
Who: Everyone
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
When: December 1st and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: With the Moira destroyed, the crew travel to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Potential violence. Lots and lots and lots of walking. Please label your content
E V E N T L O G |
"Open up, and let them in."
|
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[It still doesn't sound real - and lately, Asriel's been a little afraid of seeing this world where monsters could be free and happy being reset back to nothing. He hates feeling like that. Deep down, he knows Frisk will do the right thing.
But why was Frisk afraid too...?
They've had this conversation before. There was an odd sense of fakeness to it - like they were just trying to convince themselves that this was what was waiting for them at the end of their journey. That all their pain would vanish the moment they go home. Of course, it never works like that.]
Mettaton... you know you're still gonna be part of our family no matter what happens, right? You're pretty much stuck with us now.
... I know going home isn't going to make everything that happened here suddenly go away. I think you understand how I feel about this place better than anything else. So... if things aren't okay, you've always got me to talk to. Okay?
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He couldn't. He couldn't impose it on Asriel, that was the whole point of these three weeks. It would all have been for naught if he talks about himself and his insecurities.]
...I know. And I appreciate that you would listen to me, really I do.
And...I am happy to be stuck with you, as you say. You have a very lovely family and I'm privileged to be considered a member of it. You've all given me something that I did not deserve but which I cherish.
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I'm glad you're a part of it.
[He does deserve it - Mettaton doesn't deserve to be alone. He's got family back home, if Asriel remembers right but...
Right now, it's just the Dreemurrs.]
Do you need help getting up? Or... do you want to?
[Asriel doesn't really want to get up, but he probably shouldn't just lay on top of Mettaton all day.]
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Mm, sweetheart, I don't think you could lift me if you tried. That being said...I'm a bit spent when it comes to energy--oh, not my battery of course, that's fine. I just sort of...overdid it with my magic.
[He gives a soft, unamused laugh.]
So if you don't mind, I think I need to sit here a moment, until I can move more reliably. That's the hazard of being a robot made to run on electrical magic and the will of my own SOUL.
[A pause.]
Would you like to talk about what you've been doing for the past few weeks? I admit that I find myself curious.
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Mm, all right. I'll stay here with you.
[And he'll settle back down next to Mettaton, thinking about where he's been and what he's done these past few weeks. It's honestly all felt like a blur. All he can remember is spending most if it in a deep, twisting sense of dread, misery and fear. He's been hungry, he's been thirsty, he's walked far enough without resting that the paw pads on the bottom of his feet are a little scratched up. But he's mostly spent all of it in a daze, moving forward mindlessly while wishing he could've successfully disappeared.]
... I found some caves.
[Yeah, let's just start with that.]
I tried to go in one, but... I couldn't bring myself to do it.
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It's probably for the best that you didn't. There's a chance of something dangerous being in there. Even the bravest person shouldn't go alone.
[What if Asriel had ended up lost? Or hurt?? Ugh, Mettaton didn't even want to think about such a thing.]
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[It's kind of morbid, but really he doesn't think he's wrong. It was tempting though. The cave offered some kind of similarity to the Underground, and for a boy who didn't think he should exist, it would've been the perfect place to let himself disappear. It was the fate he'd have once they all went home anyway, right? So why wait.
A shudder passes through him. He doesn't have to think about that anymore.]
Um... what about you? What did you do the past few weeks?
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I've been doing my best to help get food for everyone. The first week was a bit of a problem, of course, until I found a way to charge off of the cryo tubes without causing any harm to whoever was inside them.
[His fingers pause momentarily.]
...I've missed you. Very much. It was all lonely work, and all this travel is not my idea of a good time.
[The least he could have allowed himself was a travel companion, but...it was complicated.]
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Asriel resumes laying his head on Mettaton, and he's free to continue to the hair ruffling.]
I would've helped you...
[It wasn't that simple. He knows it's not. And with how he's behaved the past few weeks, he wouldn't have been the kind of travel companion that Mettaton needed. It wasn't like Asriel couldn't have reached out either, but instead he tried to isolate himself in his despair too.]
I missed you too. All this traveling and finding food and stuff felt a lot longer without you here.
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It means he can't run anymore. It means...the inevitability is that he will have to come clean with Asriel, because they're friends. And friends tell each other these things.]
Sweetie, I know. Oh, I know you would have helped me if you could, but look at what happened when I wasn't there. You had such a hard time, and with the way I've been, I could not have helped you through it any easier.
...I would have made it much worse, Asriel. My mind is in a very dangerous, very unsafe place right now.
no subject
Asriel's mind was also in a dangerous and unsafe place, and he hopes that's not what Mettaton means.]
Is there anything I can do now?
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It's probably for the better that he's not completely suicidal. But skating the edge of such thoughts isn't much better. Mettaton's suffered very dire blows to his psyche, and it seems as if the timeslip had just brought it all together, amplified it, and made it impossible for him to deal with alone.
The robot shifts uncomfortably, wanting to run away from this again.]
I can't ask it of you. I can't ask you for your ear in this anymore. I should know better than anyone else at this point, right? You've experienced enough, and your problems should not be overridden by mine again.
I won't allow it.
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[He's not sure how he can stress enough how much Mettaton has saved him with their FIGHT, but there's no way Asriel is okay with Mettaton helping him with his problems only to watch him suffer in return.]
... I can handle a lot. You've seen it, right? What I've been through. It's only been because of you that I can finally feel less... weighed down.
I've never been that great at problem solving- [ha ha] -but there's no way I'd let you do all that for me and not listen in return.
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[Mettaton looks away, his jaw clenched so tightly that it almost hurt. Almost. He doesn't speak for a long time, and when he finally does, it's quiet. Like this is a deep dark secret he never wanted to share.
...It sort of is.]
The reason I stayed away is to spare you.
I didn't want anyone to ever have to see how cold and cruel I could be. Asriel, what I did before, asking if you were on my side, obliterating that spider far beyond its death...it was for more reasons than I can count, all of them interlinked together.
I think that my SOUL has grown cold to hurting others. Violence has never been hard, but I cannot regret as I used to. I can't find the reason to regret what I do.
[His arms, having long since found their way to his sides--he couldn't remember when his fingers had left that fringe of fur on Asriel's head--now stiffened. Fingers dug small tracks into the ground as he spoke the words he'd been holding for weeks.]
If I don't regret...then I know what will happen. I've seen what kind of an awful being I can be. Controlling the masses, stamping out opposition and letting the death toll rise.
[There's a flash in his mind's eye of the royal garb resting upon his metal shoulders--god, no...no, not him.]
I'm afraid. Of that, being that person.
And I'm afraid of everything in between. Seeing how many times one can die, how distinct every single death is...h-haha...Asriel, I'm so frightened and there's part of me that wants to control it so that it won't happen, but if I try to shape the events, then it's already happening.
I can't get out. I'm scared. I'm scared. Me...
[And there's so much shame in that admission that Mettaton can hardly bear it. He might not regret murder, but he does regret his own weakness.]
Who am I anymore? I'm not Mettaton.
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Asriel can't make any promises that this outcome can't - or won't exist. But a long while after Mettaton speaks, Asriel slowly reaches for his hand and picks it up in his own. He stares out at the long stretch of land ahead of them, a path that will eventually lead them home.]
I can't tell you not to be afraid.
[Even with his soul, Asriel doesn't know what the future has in store for them. Determination was a power that did amazing things, but it could be just as awful and cruel too. It was a power that shouldn't exist.]
But you're talking to someone who knows all about being afraid of the kind of person you could turn out to be. That person who can be really cruel, who wants to "control" the future and make it theirs.
But that outcome you saw, that's not the only one that exists.
[What Mettaton must be talking about is LOVE. And surely the both of them have gained some LOVE while aboard this ship.]
... I know that doesn't exactly make that one outcome any less scary, huh? But I think you do care, a lot more than you think you do. That's why you didn't want to tell me, right?
It's not going to feel okay, everything that's already happened to you. Seeing all those timelines and outcomes... it's enough to drive any human or monster insane. And with everything we've already suffered, and the fact that you can bring yourself to care...
Mettaton, despite everything, it's still you.
no subject
Mettaton really wants to believe that Asriel's right. He wants to believe that nothing's changed, and that he's still the same guy who could pull off an entire show and make it look good, including anyone who he invited to the show.
He wanted to agree that he was the best thing since Glamburgers.
But he isn't.
Still...he truly appreciates Asriel's efforts, and there were some points that the young boss monster got right; like the fact that he had been trying to keep everything inside because he did care more than he let on. If he didn't, why bother trying to pretend he isn't broken?
Mettaton finally looks at Asriel, and although he's smiling a little, he looks fit to burst into tears.]
Maybe I will be able to believe that eventually. And even if I don't right now, it is such a lovely feeling, knowing that someone still believes in me when I can't. I am so terribly sorry that I said this, not because I didn't want to talk about it with you...but because it must serve as an awful reminder...
no subject
[His crimes and the awful things he's done will always be there. That can never be erased. And while part of Asriel still fears resetting, he has to have more faith in Frisk than to just believe everything they've worked for will disappear.]
I don't think I'll turn back. At least not anymore. And if someone like me can get another chance after everything that's happened, I don't have any doubts that you'll be okay too. Even if you don't think so right now.
Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. It means a lot to me.
no subject
[He shakes his head, laughing dryly, but he is starting to feel just a little bit better. Being around Asriel always has a way of making him feel better, even if there's equal parts of unwarranted despair because of...well, everything else.
That Asriel had it in him to sympathize with Mettaton despite having the short end of the stick in life is honestly a little flattering. Mettaton knew he himself was nothing but a spoiled brat wrapped in his own problems...so Asriel was kind for dealing with him and his insecurities.]
If it's alright with you, I think I'd like to travel with you--or if you wanted to travel with me, that is fine. I can help you if you run into another trap. No one needs to be alone.
[He doesn't have to be alone anymore either.]
no subject
You don't have to hide anything from me. And in return... I won't hide anything from you, either.
[Though at Mettaton's offer, he perks back up. He doesn't really need to say anything more - Asriel's missed being with him, and being able to stay makes him a lot happier than spending the next few weeks alone.]
R-really?! I - I mean, yeah! I'd like that too!
...I don't have a proper EX icon for this? Hell hath frozen.
[That's the most excited Mettaton's sounded in a while, actually. God, he was so lonely. Not that he didn't chat with some people, but God he'd been so lonely.]
Lucky for you, I don't get tired so I can carry you for as long as my battery holds out! That must be a finer prospect than traveling on foot, hm? How have you been holding up, anyway? Your feet, I mean?
[As he speaks, Mettaton tests his own legs. Mm...well, he's starting to regain feeling as his magic recovers. Pity there wasn't a blue magic user here to carry him. That would have been nice. Twice as nice if it were...Papyrus...
..Suddenly, Mettaton uses an arm to push himself up.]
Oh no, oh no!!! I'm getting it dirty, aren't I?
[He reaches up with his free hand to pat at the scarf, and a bit of dirt comes away in a dusty puff.
Sad Mettaton face.]
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[As for his feet? Well, those pink pads on the bottom of his feet are starting to look pretty scratched up. The fur around his feet is starting to look pretty dirty too. As he moves to look at his feet, Mettaton is moving to push himself up.
Asriel slides off a little, snorting reluctantly. At least until he realizes what Mettaton is referring to.]
Oh um... it doesn't look that bad.
[Asriel nearly reaches up to help brush it off, but draws his hand back. Papyrus' scarf is probably something he shouldn't be touching.]
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That said, he eventually calms down and seems to process that Asriel had shied from touching the scarf. Strange...did he think Mettaton didn't trust him to?
That requires clarification. So he pulls it carefully from his neck, holding it out to Asriel. Part of him is concerned because he didn't want the scarf to end up ruined. But of course, he was proving a point.]
You told me that you would protect it. I trust you, so do you mind holding it for a while?
[Papyrus cared about everyone. He was certain that included the small boss monster.]
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You want me to take it for a little while? But it means a lot to you... are you sure?
[He'd do everything he can to protect the scarf - not just for Mettaton, but because Papyrus meant a lot to Asriel too. And he wouldn't throw away his friend's memory by ruining the scarf he left behind.
But it seemed like the scarf was well cared for by Mettaton already, so why him...?]
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It means a lot to me, but then so do you. Besides, I'll be able to walk soon, and it seems better to have you hold the scarf if I'm going to carry you on my shoulders, right? That way it does't get wrinkled.
[As he speaks, Mettaton manages to get one of his legs to move a bit...hah! See, there's some progress!]
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[Asriel will take the scarf, and wrap it around his neck a few times. It's more comfortable than Asriel expects, even if it does feel weird wearing Papyrus' scarf.
Papyrus would probably tell him he looks cool though. Asriel really does wish that he was here with them.]
I think I can see why he liked wearing it. Heh...
[It makes him a little sad, bringing up Papyrus. So naturally, he tries to quickly shift his focus onto something else.]
Um, are you feeling a little better now?
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