Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-03-17 09:28 pm
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march event log
Who: Everyone
When: March 17th and on
Where: The Moira and Ceta; various locations
What: Communication, mercenaries, and scraplets
Warnings: Please label accordingly!
( OOC: Please label any material with content warnings. For questions, go here! )
When: March 17th and on
Where: The Moira and Ceta; various locations
What: Communication, mercenaries, and scraplets
Warnings: Please label accordingly!
E V E N T |
"The best way to protect something is to set it free."
|
J
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[J's almost ready with fixing her eye brows. She plucks out the few extra stray hairs and adds few strokes of the pen and brush to set the shape right. After she's done with that she starts spreading concealer and the foundation on her face, finishing the base make up. Before continuing to do rest of her face, she stands up and walks to her bed where she has laid out two different dresses, tapping her chin thoughtfully she tries to decide which one to pick. he wants, (no she needs,) to look sexy enough so that no one will be able to ignore her tonight. But of course, it'll do no good to look like a some cheap call girl as she aims to break men's hearts and make women cry. So, it's also important to remain certain kind of elegance as well.
At times like these, she really wishes she had been roomed with people who she could ask opinion about these things. But no. She really had the worst luck with roommates, as none of the men she shared her space with no eyes for fashion.
But eventually she picks up the dress, the one that had more place shade of gold, from the bed and presses it against her body, turning to look herself from the mirror. 'Yes, this is good. She smiles at her reflection and spins around a little before putting the dress back down on the bed and moving back to her makeup table.]
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[Despite not being there a mere five seconds before, Sans is in his bunk right on schedule. The long walk from the Ingress to their room isn't one he usually bothers himself with, opting instead for a few well met shortcuts.
That said, J was usually out and about this time of evening. Seeing her still in the throes of making herself up peaks Sans' curiosity.]
Got a hot date?
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She glares at him quickly through the mirror, feeling angry that her flow had been interrupted all of sudden, but then she takes the deep breath, relaxing her shoulders and neutralizing her facial expression.]
You could say that. [She answers, voice flat and uncaring.]
Although I hope to fill that hot-part.
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[Sans gets up, puttering around the room to find one one of his many caches of hidden snacks. Up to now, nothing about the encounter should feel particularly off. J putting her face on for the night is practically ritual at this point.
Which doesn't explain the nagging tug at the corner of Sans' soul, but that could be anything.]
Peter?
[It's a testing question. They were on the rocks, last he remembered. It would certainly explain the tension he feels, at any rate.]
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[She snorts and continues to add the mascara to her left eye, finishing the make up. But just as she's about to start to do the right eye she hears his question and spins around on the chair to look at him. Just how did the come up with that? J never talks about her relationships with others and she can't Sans ever being around when she was with him. So, Peter must've told him about her. It makes her wonder just how much did he know.]
Peter? Hah, don't make laugh. [She rolls her eyes and laughs mockingly.]
Like that kid will ever have enough balls to ask me out.
[She turns around to look at her image from mirror and begins to add eye shadow.]
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Fair 'nuff. [Falling back on his bed with a creak of springs, Sans watches her idly while he eats.] So who did?
[As if to preempt her inevitable question about minding his own business, Sans tosses out the ol' shrug and grin combo.] I'm bored.
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[ J really stands out from the rest of the crew as she walks through the hallways. She's dressed to to the nines, wearing a stunning outfit and with her curly, blond hair combed and styled down beautifully. She carries herself with a calm and confident manner, back straight and head hold up, winking flirtatiously at anyone who she catches looking at her direction.
But in inside, under all the smiles and cool demeanor, J's hiding a quite whirlpool of emotions.
J had nearly thrown up when the truth about the whales had been revealed to them. It's been already several days and the sick feeling had only grown worse as the remorse and guilt kept eating her from the inside. Of course, she hadn't exactly enjoyed from the whaling experience when she had thought them to be just dumb and helpless animals, but it hadn't either caused her to have nightmares. But now, knowing that they were intelligent, sentient-- closest thing to native beings on this planet, changed everything-- making her no better than a murderer. She had really messed up big time and she couldn't help but keep remembering what happened to her parents and her own involvement in that tragedy.
She wanted to fix things, make it better again.]
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This is a feeling she knows all too well.
Maybe normally Wanda wouldn't say anything about the ambient emotions of a near stranger, but there's something almost destructive in the swirling feelings that changes her mind. There are times she can "be polite" and walk away. This is not one of them.]
Are you all right?
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So the question really comes out of nowhere, making J to stop on her tracks and turn to look at Wanda. For a second there's a glimpse of panicked confusion on J's face. She was sure that she had been able to keep herself together, not letting any of her distress to show outsiders-- so why did Wanda know to ask her that?
But the shock fades away from her face just as quickly as it had appeared, and J's lips curve back to the satisfied smile.]
Why, of course I am, darling.
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[J can cover it up with all the pretty clothes and makeup she wants, but she can't hide the truth from someone like Wanda. Tilting her head, she mentally reaches out and listens. It can't be too far from the surface...]
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Word sick is actually good one to describe just what Wanda's going to find when looking into J's mind. After getting past the confusion, the first thing she'll come across is a deep loathing-- aimed towards no one else but her own person. When she reaches further, just little past the surface she'll find that the ugly and twisted feeling is currently fuelled by the haunting memory not from too long time ago, a week tops, in which she's on a boat with another crewman and hunting one of the whales. The unpleasant, but semi-harmless, memory of a hunting trip has now been turned into a memory of manslaughter.
The guilt that comes with the memory is almost too much for her to bear and right behind it are the memories of all the hurt she's caused to others. And oh, there's so much of it. There's the most recent ones, the toxic that happened between her and Miles, the fight with Peter, negativity with Sans, the cruel and hurtful words she said to Bel. Then there's what happened at New York, the way how she had selfishly used another woman's feelings for her as a tool for petty revenge. But all of that leads to even bigger shadow, one that's been permanently cast over her mind: her parents and the way how she had destroyed them.
She had done so much bad. But while she can't do a thing for her family anymore, she could at least try to do something for the whales.. And even if not well. At least she'll get what she deserves, right?]
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...you killed one, before you knew.
[But the thread leads onwards and of course Wanda's going to follow it through everything that's happened on the ship. She stops when the scenery shifts to New York; that's already more than enough to be causing that emotional sickness and the rest of it isn't going anywhere.]
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cw: mentions of past abuse
[When J finally arrives to the Cargo Bay she can feel her confident smile crack a little, showing glimpses of the nervousness that's raging through her mind. Annoyed by her lack of self-restraint, she bites down on her lower lip, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
Calm down, there's no reason for you to be like this. J thinks to herself as she moves forward. This is hardly the first time she's been in this situation, hell, this used to be her job back at home. Sure, it's been nearly three months since the last time and back at home she had known her 'customers', or at least been able to check out them. Here, she didn't know a thing about the mercenaries, not even whether they were human-like or not.
But you've never been too bothered by appearances before, so why would you care now? True, and hey-- didn't Marilyn sing that the worth of gentleman isn't measured by their looks but by the size of their wallet?
There's still other people who've come to make their own trade with the mercenaries around. So, J stops and waits for them to be gone. She wants to be the last one to talk with them, as her business would certainly take more time than theirs. While waiting for her turn, J leans against the wall, takes out her cigarette case from her small purse and lights herself one last smoke.]
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With the mercenaries showing up, everything is tense and strange, but Danny continues to work, watching people as they come and go. He's curious what they're trading, what everyone will offer, and while Danny has nothing valuable of his own, he supports what they're doing.
When J comes in, he smiles at her, though she doesn't see it, and then he frowns at the way she's holding herself. Nerves, her body tense, so he decides to take a break.]
This is the part where I tell you that you shouldn't smoke in here.
[His mouth is curved, teasing as he pulls out a cigarette of his own.]
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But she still offers him a wide and warm smile as he approaches her.]
Hello, stranger. [She greets, voice soft and sweet. ]
Well, I won't tell if you don't.
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There's no one to tell, anyways.
[Danny lights his cigarette then.]
What brings you down this way?
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Really? Your boss man sounds great. I know few people who'd throw a fit if they'd see us now.
[She teases, shifting her weight from foot to another-- trying to appear as casual as possible. She really hopes that he'll be distracted by the playful tone in her voice and sweet smile.]
I heard that there were strangers down here and I got curious. What about you? Working late?
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[Danny couldn't say much as to his character, but he worked hard and came in when he was supposed to, so his boss didn't really seem to care if Danny stopped once in a while.]
I'm working late.
[He's starting to get unsettled and he's not very good at hiding his emotions.]
Why do you care if there are strangers down here? You should be careful.
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cw for slurs
cw for this hurts me a lot
cw are you ready for more
cw when does this emotional rollercoaster end
cw the worst is yet to come
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and closing tag
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[Exhausted.
That's the perfect word to describe J's state as she leaves the Cargo Bay with shaky and staggering steps. Her whole body was simply sore. There's annoying and distracting ache pounding her whole back and her legs are wobbly, almost too weak to support her. She's pale, skin almost white as sheet, despite for cheeks that are flushed bright red. Her curly hair is a mess, her make up is almost completely worn off and there's only few black stripes under her eyes and some lipstick left on the corner of her lips. J's beautiful dress is covered by a white fluffy jacket, with collar turned up in attempt to hide the bite marks and such on neck and collar bone. On top of all things, there's this faint smell of dried sweat mixed with a faint odor that can only be described as fishy coming from her.
But despite all of those things, J still attempts to carry herself with a composure and try to keep up the illusion of the dignity as much as possible-- which would definitely be more easier task if there wasn't the emotional weariness added to the physical exhaustion. The day had been so long and taxing. A lot had happened, nothing according to her original plans, and all the events and encounters had left her only disoriented and frail. It took all her remaining energy to focus on keeping herself on her feet and face straight, so that it won't betray and show any of her true feelings.
She's just about to get inside of the elevator when she absent mindedly missteps with her heels, making her to lose her balance and fall down with a surprised yelp.]
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The grip he has on her loosens, but he doesn't take his hands off of her. He sticks a foot out to keep the elevator doors from shutting, nodding inside to usher her on.]
J? Are you okay?
[It's a little bit of an out, given that she'd nearly fell. But part of Peter hopes she won't just wave it off when she clearly doesn't look okay.]
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Christ, Peter! You almost scared the shit out of me there. [J continues to laugh and wraps her arms around his neck as she's being pulled back up to her feet, taking support and placing some of her weight on him.]
I'm perfectly fine, thanks to you.
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Of course she took the easy way. He really shouldn't be surprised, and isn't, really. Maybe just a little disappointed.]
Don't mention it. You're heading up?
[He moves her slightly toward the doors, eye brows raised. At least in the confines of the elevator, she can't walk away when he presses about what's wrong.]
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Peter's still so easy to read and J can see that he's trying to hide the worry and uncertainty behind that half-hearted smile. And as annoying it is she can't exactly blame him for it, J knows that she looks like a wreck. Hell, if she were to see Peter in same kind of state she'd wonder too.
But still, that's not enough to make her let down her act. So, she keeps smiling at him, trying to bring as much calmness and confidence to her demeanor. Who knows, maybe he'll eventually give up.]
That I am. Seems like we're headed same direction, hmm?
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[He snorts, trying for a joking tone. Even beyond the worry for her he has right now, the title feels a little wrong. Now that he knows what the other version of himself- Wanda's real Pietro- had died for, hero seemed a heavy expectation to live up to. Something very much not Peter.]
Seems like it.
[He presses the button, waits the agonizingly slow seconds it takes for the doors to close. He takes a deep breath, steels himself for the fight he might have on his hands. He keeps his face forward, not looking at her as though it will make it easier.]
I'm going to ask again. You can lie if you want and I won't keep bothering you about it. Your business. But- [Another deep breath.] Are you okay? Because you don't look okay.
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