Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-03-17 09:28 pm
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march event log
Who: Everyone
When: March 17th and on
Where: The Moira and Ceta; various locations
What: Communication, mercenaries, and scraplets
Warnings: Please label accordingly!
( OOC: Please label any material with content warnings. For questions, go here! )
When: March 17th and on
Where: The Moira and Ceta; various locations
What: Communication, mercenaries, and scraplets
Warnings: Please label accordingly!
E V E N T |
"The best way to protect something is to set it free."
|
no subject
[Danny couldn't say much as to his character, but he worked hard and came in when he was supposed to, so his boss didn't really seem to care if Danny stopped once in a while.]
I'm working late.
[He's starting to get unsettled and he's not very good at hiding his emotions.]
Why do you care if there are strangers down here? You should be careful.
no subject
[The man from flying circus. J has talked to him only once but she's seen him around network quite often. She had really hoped that it had been his work shift and not Danny's. He seems like a guy who doesn't butt in other people's business.
Pinged by Danny's own, very obvious discomfor, J looks past him, trying to a better look at the mercenaries. ]
Why, are you not big fan of them? I think they're interesting.
no subject
[Danny dashes out his cigarette on the sole of his shoe, keeping the filter between his fingers to dispose of later.
He steps in front of her view of the mercenaries, awkwardly attempting to block them from sight. He still can't pinpoint why he feels uncomfortable, but he thinks he's getting closer.]
Interesting it what way, J?
no subject
Why Danny, you sound almost jealous. But do not fear, there's no need for you to be worried. It's just that you don't get to see mercenaries like them every day, am I right?
[Well, she wasn't completely lying here. She's never met people like them before and chances to find people like them back at home, even when considering all the other shady people she had to meet work-wise, were pretty slim.
But this is taking way too long, she needs to direct his attention to somewhere else and get rid of him. J brings the cigarette back to her lips, inhales the smoke and takes one step closer. ]
Though if you want, I could come to see you later. [She blows the smoke out and reaches to stroke his cheek with her free hand.]
Would you like that?
no subject
[He hates the sound of that word, what implies, and what it might mean for her to say that to him. Danny's face scrunches up, and he sighs softly, shoulders hunching up slightly.]
I'm not jealous. We're not exclusive, we haven't promised not to see other people.
[Danny liked J very much, more than anyone he's met so far, but he's not ready to be that for someone else.]
You just seem, um.. off.
[When she reaches up to touch him, he doesn't step back or pull away, even though he almost wants to.]
Please. Please, don't do that. [He curls his hand around her hand.] I always want to see you, but please don't use my feelings to distract me from whatever it is you don't want me to notice.
no subject
I'm just teasing you, silly. But you do act like it a little, you know. Asking me these things and wanting to keep my attention only on you.
[The way how she speaks to him is the same she used with her patrons; voice sweet and lovely, pouring affection to each of her word and looking at him with flirtatious eyes, filled with adoration.]
So, how about it? I'll drop by your room later when you're done with work? I promise you can have all my attention then.
[And with that, she reaches to place a kiss on his lips.]
no subject
Stop it.
[Danny tilts his head away so that her kiss misses the mark, her lips brushing his jaw.].
You've never acted this way with me. You're, [He reaches out and takes her hand, curling his fingers.] coming on heavy, trying to distract me.
From what? I don't know if I have the right to ask you, to want you to tell me, but is something going on? Is something happening?
[He steps in close.]
Just tell me. I might understand, if you did. I might.
no subject
He's right that she's never been quite this forward with him before, of course there's been lots of flirting and affection between them, but this is the first time J has blatantly tried to sell herself to him. So far Danny's been special to her. He's the only one on this ship who hasn't seen the ugliness that boils inside of her, the poison that rots her mind. It's a pity, really. She would've preferred it to stay that way, that there's at least one person who'd have nothing but good things to say about her.
She's not even sure what to tell him or where to start. How to explain that this is the normal behaviour for her? Being honest about that would also mean she'd have to reveal him about the prostitution business that she was involved in back at home? She doesn't want him or anyone to know about that, let alone what happened with the Flying Whales.]
It's really nothing, Danny. I came down here to see the mercenaries because I was curious and then I saw you and thought that maybe you'd want me. Clearly I was wrong about that. [She scoffs. If she can't fool him with affection, then maybe with guilt?]
no subject
[Danny places a hand on one side of her face, cupping gently, mindful of the cigarette. His eyes are narrowed, as if he thinks that looking at her closely will tell him what's going on.]
That won't work, saying those things. It's just that, um, I've always tried to be open. I know I haven't told you everything, but I've tried to tell you as much as I can.
[He swallows, brushing his thumb across her cheek.]
You know that I want you, you've always known that. Saying that you were wrong now is like you're lying. People lie when they want to hide something.
[Danny leans in close, pressing a kiss to her cheek.]
You never have to tell me anything, but please don't lie to me. Just say you don't want to talk about it, and I'll go. [He shakes his head.] But it doesn't feel like that right now, so I'm listening.
no subject
He says he'll listen but J doubts that he'll like what she has to say. There's a reason why she hasn't said a thing about herself to him. ]
No. There's nothing going on, it's just-- [She looks over his shoulder to take a look at the mercenaries and what they're doing. There's only one person before her making the trade. She really needs to hurry up with this.]
It's going to be okay. I'll talk to you about it later. [With a smile on her face, she takes a step back away from him and opens her white jacket, revealing the stunning dress underneath. Resting her jacket on her arms, she walks past him with hurrying steps.]
no subject
Wait, um, don't leave.
[Danny reaches out towards her, takes a deep breath and grabs her arm.]
Your dres-
[He turns her back towards him, the grip light, more of a pleading gesture than any actual force. Danny gets it now, but he doesn't want it to be that way, not the way he's thinking. He leans in close, voice low and soft. Brow furrowed and maybe he gets it, but since he doesn't know her motivations, he isn't sure what to say.]
If you're doing what it looks like you are, you don't have to. I mean, if it's something you want to do, that you enjoy, I'm no one to stop you, but, uh, if it's because you need something, I can help.
[Danny didn't have a lot to his name, but he would find it.]
You don't want to do this. You don't come back from something like this.
[J has always come across to him like she does whatever she wants, however she wants to, and he's not sure he can stop her. His moment of panic passes quickly, and his expression becomes resigned.]
I'll go with you. Yes, that's it. [He nods.] If you have to do this for some reason, I'll do it with you.
no subject
He doesn't get it, any of this. The fact that this is ok because it's her completely escapes from him. And that whether she likes doing this or not is completely irrelevant. It's not about what she wants but what she needs to do. She raises her head and looks up to him, face full of annoyance and impatience. She parts her lips and is about to say something back to him, ask him to let go and just leave it. But then she hears his suggestion and there's a brief moment, no longer than a heartbeat, when she just stares him, eyes wide open from disbelief.
And then she can't help but laugh. It's not light or relieved kind of a laughter, but the opposite of it. It's mean, cold and demeaning.]
Hah-! Do you even listen to yourself? You can't even say whoring out loud, you're that nervous. [She shakes her head and looks him down and up.]
You talk like this would be my first time doing something like this. You have no idea what you're talking about here. And what I do has nothing to do with you so drop it.
[She tries to pull her arm free from him but then gets another idea. She leans in closer, wearing a mocking grin on her lips and lowers her voice.]
But if you really get your kicks from voyeurism I could ask them if they'd let you watch. I'm sure it'll be a mindblowing show.
no subject
[For the first time, he doesn't appreciate how she speaks her mind so clearly, so vehemently. It makes his stomach ache, because he cares about her and wants more for her than this.]
I do know.
[What Danny had done hadn't been for money, it had been because he'd hated himself so much that he thought it was what he deserved. He'd thought he was no better than someone that should just be fucked, used up, and left. It feels almost the same here, and he hates it, fingers curling a little tighter, the breath catching in his throat.]
I don't wanna watch. [He inhales a shaky breath.] I don't want you to do this because you can be whoever you want here. The lives we lived before are hundreds of years away and we can be anything we want.
We don't have to make the same mistakes or do the same things. We can try to choose what will make us happy, and if you do this, I don't think you'll be happy.
[There's threats he could make, that the crew would know and it would change their opinions of her. That she'll feel different and it'll be different. But he doesn't say that. She knows and he can't make her stop unless she wants to.]
I don't want them to hurt you. I don't want you to go. [He rubs his thumbs up and down her arms.] But I'll be here no matter what you do.
no subject
But then again, Danny's probably the worst person to tell that. It's barely been two months since the night when he had found her crying in middle of the hallway, too scared and upset to even stand up on her own.]
They're ugly words and this is ugly world, in case you have not noticed. [She snorts. She knows that his words and touch are meant to be soothing and reassuring, but she just can't find any comfort from her and only grows more distant and harsh.] And if they're ugly then so am I.
no subject
[Danny has been to clubs and parties and met so many people, but J has influenced his life in a way that very few before have. He wants to help her, needs her to not do this and hurt herself. Sincerity and desperation tinge his voice, and he leans forward to rest his forehead against hers.]
They can hurt you. They'll use you up and leave you there. They won't speak if you tell them not to, because they want to hurt you, they want to get their pleasure and don't care if it leaves you broken afterwards.
[He tips back, unshed tears lining his eyes.]
Just tell me what you want, what you truly want.
cw for slurs
[Those words are like toxic inside her mouth, bad tasting and burning. She's not even sure whose words those are. Arthur's? Mr. Gazman's? Boys from school or orphanage? Or was it someone-- or something, completely else that made her accept it.
She doesn't move an inch when he rests his forehead against hers. She both wants to lean in, seek for the embrace, and turn her head away, to reject this kindness and comfort. What he says is true. While they won't be able to break her, or cause that much damage even-- it's true that this will leave an invisible mark on her. Just as all the previous ones have, but just like with them, she can get over it and move on. She always does.]
What I want is for you let go of me and leave. This is my choice and I don't want you here.
cw for this hurts me a lot
You don't?
[He swallows, taking a step back. Letting her go, reluctant.]
What if we went back to my room? Right now. Just be together. Wouldn't that be okay?
cw are you ready for more
You think you get it, but you don't.
[She bites and shakes her head a little. He doesn't understand, that even though it's her choice she still needs to do this. But of course he doesn't, he doesn't even know what has happened and what she's done.
She's screwed up, done bad to others and she needs to try fix things-- or at least try to help in some way. And even if things won't work in her favor, well. At least she'll be getting what she deserves.]
No. I'm going to do this, it's my choice.
[She bites, her voice distant but determined. J takes also a step backwards to give more power to her words, to make it clear that she means this. A brief but heavy silence falls between them but then she speaks again, this time making sure that there's mock in her voice:]
Unless you want to buy me?
cw when does this emotional rollercoaster end
The mocking tone stings, but he doesn't focus on it now.]
I don't have anything.
[He perks up suddenly, a hand splayed out, palm up.]
I have a robot. It's meant to do my chores. I would give you that.
[It's not enough, he knows it's not the moment he says it, he shoulders dropping, lower lip trembling.]
Please come with me. I care about you. I.. [He shakes his head, not sure how to finish.]
cw the worst is yet to come
I'm joking! Of course you don't have anything! There's nothing you could give me.
[She takes a moment to calm down, as if she had just heard the greatest joke. J knows that she's going too far and that Danny doesn't deserve any of this mockery and ill-intended teasing. But then again, deep down she's known that things would come down to this eventually. They always did.
This was just like with Rita. The little poet back from New York, who had first tried to reason with her not do this and then eventually begged, cried and tried to punch her.
And when it looks like he's about to cry, J just casts uncaring look at him and scoffs.]
Leave, Danny. I already told you I don't want you here. Go back to your room and write a poem or a story to make yourself feel better.
no subject
Don't.
[He thrusts his hand into his hair, his cheeks flushed, and eyes wide.]
I get that you're going to do what you want to do, that I can't say anything to have you consider stopping, but don't speak to me that way. Don't mock me.
[He takes a step back, shoves his hands into his pockets, and blows out a ragged breath. Danny looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't. He just looks at her a moment longer, and then turns away.]
and closing tag
Without uttering a word she watches him to leave, even though a part of her wanting to say something to make it better so that they wouldn't have to part in such bad terms. But she knows that won't be possible. Not after she deliberately insulted and chased him away. Besides, she was running out of time.
After she's sure that he's gone J takes a deep breath, runs her hand through her hair, puts on a smile and continues to walk towards the mercenaries.]