Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-11-15 09:40 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- breaking bad: jesse pinkman,
- death note: l (crau),
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- guilty gear: venom,
- mcu: bucky barnes (crau),
- mcu: tony stark,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- mushishi: ginko (crau),
- npc | ben,
- npc | cúrre,
- npc | mana,
- npc | thán,
- original character: adrien arbuckal,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- red vs blue: agent texas,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: mettaton,
- x-men movies: jean grey
november event
Who: Everyone
When: November 15th and on
Where: The Moira.
What: The ship begins to fall apart and enters a “timeslip” when the Ingress is turned on.
Warnings: Potential violence. Please label your content!
When: November 15th and on
Where: The Moira.
What: The ship begins to fall apart and enters a “timeslip” when the Ingress is turned on.
Warnings: Potential violence. Please label your content!
E V E N T L O G |
"Here I am at the end of the road and at the top of the heap.."
|
no subject
(
...that's a—)He doesn't want to.
The words are pointless, out of place. The words are wrong. Shoulds have never mattered (not for him), and whoever's faults are on display, it's not an answer. Noise rolls out in a storm of rage, but the program's stance is less coiled now than simply bent. Contorted. Jagged. Rinzler cracked apart a long, long time ago, and whether the user is himself or just a copy, he remembers what he did.
That has to be enough.
Disks merge to a single, singing edge. The program's empty hand comes down, digging into the crevices of the user's armor as he drags Nihlus up. Neither of them have a face today, but Rinzler's stare is fixed and palpable: no search, but a demand. Look at him. Fight him, or leave, or answer the question, but Rinzler will have some satisfaction if it breaks them both.
It takes much more work the second time. Circuits flicker, disuse and effort producing a static scrape.
"Tell me."
no subject
Then Rinzler speaks again and he can't let go. Can't make himself look up. The stare burns into him and he can't look up.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Pushing weight onto the injured leg, Nihlus grits his teeth against the pain and lets it ground him.
Tell him why.
Unbidden, everything rolls over him in a tidal wave, crushing, suffocating and inescapable. But the moment he tries to navigate it voluntarily, the freshly broken edges cut into him in a completely different way. It was like reaching into vat a filled with razors and acid.
WHY-
"The gun would've been too loud."
Even as he says it, Nihlus doesn't understand the words. He'd taken Rinzler's legs, what had stopped him from slicing through the rest? Why is everything else so clear but not this? The program had been dangerous to the Monolith in every possible way: unable to be affected by it, unable to be drawn in and so obviously willing to destroy it.
And yet.
Dragging in a sharp, agonized breath, he reaches again and it's-
Just-
Noise.
"You were already Enlightened."
There's something in Nihlus's voice, something disconnected, a rot in his undertones that was beginning to match the Moira's own growing gloom.
"I didn't... want you to die."
no subject
...that can't be it.
Nihlus had attacked him. Nihlus had left him alive. The user had gone much too far to question that intention—if the damage he'd dealt would have killed a lesser program, there was no reason to cage up dead code. But Rinzler had been in no shape to be useful, and no mind to do anything but fight. The only way to change that—the only reason to hold back—
(Gold lights, the crunch of voxels, warm reassurances hissed in his ear as his disk—)
No, no—
Those memories are not permitted. Some of them aren't even his. But error correction has been wrecked for cycles, and Rinzler's been fighting back the files since he came online. Since he found himself alive and broken, locked up in a cell by a programmer who took his disk. Noise rattles up in an uneven clatter, lights shivering this time with a spark of blue.
He forces all of it away. It's not the same. Nihlus hadn't edited him. Rinzler had checked, kept his disk undocked even once it was recovered, let Clu and Alan-one pick him apart before he stabilized and synced. But if there had been more time, if the user had been able...
Rinzler doesn't—
Doesn't ask.
Slowly, fingers uncurl from the armor. Slowly, the program takes a step back. His disk is still lit at his side, shoulders drawn in an aggressive, angry set, but the bent frame looks less ready now than simply listing. Tired. His helmet dips a little, then shakes from side to side. It's not rejection. He knows. Nihlus hadn't wanted him dead.
But he should have.
no subject
Rinzler steps back from him and he forces himself not to try and reach out, hand hanging in the space between them as the seconds ticked by. Eventually, he places it against his lap, claws curling into a fist hard enough that they would've cut through his palm had the glove not been there.
Would he have eventually given Rinzler death, anyways? Once the Voice had eaten through everything, burnt the last traces of his doubts away, would he finally have realized that the enforcer was too dangerous to keep around?
Or perhaps a fate worse than that? What would he have done if he'd succeeded a week ago? Kept Rinzler some kind of facsimile of alive, deprived of limbs, caged and chained down- just for the sake of keeping him 'safe'?
He remembers that panicked whorl of thoughts, staring down at dimmed circuitry then- just before he'd started cutting. Before he'd taken the disk.
The disk.
"I'm sorry," Nihlus whispers again, softly, voice shaking with self loathing and a quiet, bone-deep horror. He doesn't know what else to say. Doesn't trust himself to say anything else.
There's a wretched, monstrous little part of him that knows exactly what he'd have done to Rinzler, given enough time to crack the program's admin code.
no subject
He'd been so afraid, he'd given his code to a user. Trusted a user.
A user who might have done all of that again.
If Nihlus had, he wouldn't have to process the mistake. The thought flickers through cognition, chased by a wave of revulsion and sheer loathing, and Rinzler jerks his helmet to the side again. He doesn't want to hear the apology. He doesn't want to process the what-ifs. He doesn't want to see the pathetic trembling (and he's shaking too) (and none of it's new, none of it's different—so why does it still hurt—?)
He's not supposed to. The command is just as powerless (and certainly, it hadn't stopped him yet), but Rinzler seizes on the excuse, on the memory of Clu's fuming rage as he'd pieced Rinzler back together. He should have known better. He knew what users were like, he was to stay away. He shouldn't be here.
It's small. (It's cowardly.) But it's enough to break the choking, awful lock. Rinzler takes another step back. Then another. His disk burns itself out in his left hand, and he ducks his mask and turns away. He's gone from sight in seconds.