![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
- *event,
- all about j: j,
- dceu: diana prince,
- destiny: cayde-6,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dragon age: evangeline de brassard,
- dragon age: the iron bull,
- marvel 3490: natasha stark,
- mass effect: vetra nyx,
- mcu: pepper potts,
- mcu: peter parker,
- mcu: tony stark,
- mcu: wanda maximoff (crau),
- metal gear: big boss,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: revolver ocelot,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- michiko to hatchin: michiko malandro,
- mushishi: ginko,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: mei-ling zhou,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- transformers robots in disguise: sideswi,
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: elena fisher,
- uncharted: nathan drake,
- undertale: asriel dreemurr,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- undertale: mettaton
(no subject)
When: July 1 and onward. See this post for info.
Where: Kauto + Chioni + Ingress Complex
Warnings: Potential violence. Please label warn-worthy content in your subject headers.
nerds save the world
"Help us. Before it is too late."
Those who come will have the run of the complex and full access to the Ingress, as well as whatever tools are available and as much coffee as they can drink. People are encouraged to work in groups and share ideas, and a small number of young and nervous technical assistants will be on hand.
the land below
As Thisavrou is denied light and warmth, the weather becomes brisk and descends into bitter cold. Chioni is evacuated due to the effects on the already-harsh weather cycles there, although a skeleton crew of scientists remain behind. On Kauto, the arboreal Region Three and pastoral Region Two suffer the most from the temperatures and the snow that eventually begins to fall. Many crops are frozen over, and refugee citizens are driven from their homes to the Regions One and Five, where stored energy will keep dwellings warm. Save for those who choose to leave the underwater facilities, Region Four remains largely unchanged, but there are unverified accounts of strange aquatic animal behavior near the surface.
Overcrowding, limited supplies and a pervasive fear presents the opportunity for both heroism and foul deeds. Many come together to share resources, supplies and fellowship in what could be the end of worlds, while others take what they can from the unwilling or exploit the desperate. Sentient evacuees are followed by fauna from Region Three and unsettled lands beyond, in search of warmth or food or merely confused by the change in habitat. Some are unthreatening herbivores, while tanglesnakes and clownbees are more troublesome. Others are poisonous hunters, while still others are small, but dangerous when faced as a pack.
Just when all seems lost, light returns to the sky. The Ingress begins to function once more.
the coming days
As the temperatures rise, many demand answers, but most turn to the rebuilding of their lives first. Damage has been done that isn't so easily fixed, and even in the least-affected areas, remnants of the crisis show in the lack of fresh food, in the increased signs of criminal activity. Those who can help others through their own efforts of by organizing assistance are needed, but those with impure intentions are more likely to go unnoticed.
Eavesdropping on the streets may reveal a desire for vengeance. "Those intruders from last week. They're responsible for this, aren't they? What's being done?" But don't listen too closely, or a suspicious eye may be turned on you. "Aren't you one of the refugees from the Midway Hub? You should return to where you came from! All the trouble began when your people showed up!"
Life goes on. But life does not go on unchanged.
[quick ooc note: the Region 4 search & retrieval mission/RNG fight will be posted in a separate log.]
no subject
Because I wanted to be a hero. Because I only cared about myself.
[He takes a shuddering breath.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sideswipe. There's no excuse for this. I did it because I was selfish.
no subject
[There are... so many things wrong with that statement. Heroes don't hurt people. Heroes don't break things. They don't make things worse.]
[I wanted to be a hero.]
[Isn't that what you always want, Sideswipe?]
[His holo looks away. And steps back enough to drag a hand across his eyes. Frantically.]
That -- why didn't you tell me? I could've--! [Helped. Could have done something. Could have been the hero.] But this just made stuff worse!
no subject
[He looks for a moment like he might continue, but he doesn't. There really isn't anything else he can say. He wanted to be a hero and in the process he made things worse.
That's all there is to it.]
So that's why I was in mediation.
no subject
[He just looks hurt. There's tears pricking at the corners of his holoform's eyes. Because he doesn't know what to do with himself here. Should he be angry? Upset?]
[How is he supposed to feel?]
rip me: the thread
[His voice is quiet and halting. It kills him to do this to Sideswipe, but what else is there to do? This is the truth. If he didn't want this to happen, he should have thought about it before.]
I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you there was some reason for it, but there wasn't. I did it so I could feel like I was doing something. I just--I'm not the person you thought I was.
[And there's nothing more he can say to that, either. Surprise: he's a monster, and Sideswipe doesn't deserve to have him in his life. Sorry sorry sorry sorry.]
8D
There's all kinds of stuff you could've done to get arrested instead! Trust me! I'm king screw-up!
[There's something incredibly bitter in those last words. Something that cracks and moves along the edges of them, like his holoform flickering in and out of solidity.]
[That's what everyone always said about him. Wasn't it? What Strongarm, what Bee and even Ultra Magnus said about him.]
no subject
He could have told. He could have done something else. He could have done so many things to prevent this disaster, but he didn't. And here they are.
This is who he is. He has nothing to hide behind anymore.]
no subject
[That's how people work. Everyone who acts older than he is. His holo's bright blue eyes don't even blink -- he's forgotten that, in everything.]
Say something!
[There's a lot of desperation in those two words. Say something to make this okay.]
no subject
But Lavellan makes himself look. He owes Sideswipe that much. He holds his gaze even as he steps back, confirming in all ways that matter that he is exactly the failure that Sideswipe is hoping he somehow isn't.]
I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back.
no subject
[What's he supposed to do?]
Where...
Where are you going?
[But as much as part of him says to follow, to drag him back and make him explain, he can't make his feet move.]
no subject
[He keeps backing up, faster and faster, like he's going to run. Maybe he is. All he knows is he can't bear to stay here and hurt Sideswipe anymore.]
I just... I need to make things right somehow.
no subject
[He isn't entirely sure when he transformed. Or when he cancelled the holo. He just knows, suddenly, he's kneeling in the road.]
[Just... trying to reach out or stop him or something.]
no subject
Instead he just looks at this... strange being that he's come to care deeply about, that he's betraying right now, and shakes his head.]
You deserve better than me in your life, Sideswipe.
no subject
You -- [This is Riptide all over again. This is Riptide and the hundreds of things he'd said about him not being good enough, while Sideswipe just held on stubbornly.]
[Determinedly. Not wanting someone to drag him away from someone who seemed like they believed in him, for once. It's Riptide all over again and he doesn't know if he can take that.]
-- you don't get to tell me that! You don't get to suddenly say what someone else needs to have! Okay?
I am so sick of you all doing that!
no subject
[He surprises himself by shouting. He didn't mean to, but he's just so frustrated, and as much as he cares about Sideswipe he can't handle the neediness right now. There's a buzzing in his skull and it's only increasing the longer he stays here having this conversation.]
This isn't something I can just pretend didn't happen. I need to do something. And maybe that means leaving until I figure out what that is, I don't know, but don't you get that this is more important?
no subject
Fine! Fine!
Get out of here! Run off again and not tell me anything, because I'm a dumb kid, right? I'm some stupid kid who doesn't understand things, or you gotta protect me or some scrap like that!
[They were almost the same words he'd heard the last time he saw Riptide. The reason the other Autobots had never told him anything upfront. The same tone people like Strongarm had always used.]
[That I know better than you, that stupid kid tone.]
If I don't know, it's because none of you will tell me anything! Then you act like it's all my fault!
And then you leave!
... just like ... just -- fine! It's just fine!
[It's not fine. He's just so sick of this. Of this stupid place.]
But don't expect that I'm gonna be waiting around for you to get back!
no subject
He doesn't want to hurt him. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. What should he do? What should he do? What is the right thing to say here? He feels like he'll never be able to trust his own judgment again.]
Sideswipe, it's not... it's not your fault. It's my fault. All of this is my fault. I'm just--trying to make up for it, somehow, but I don't know how to do that yet. I just need time.
[He inhales.]
Okay?
no subject
[Maybe he'll go home. Call Riptide's line or listen to old messages. At least one thing that won't lie to him, or talk to him like he's a child -- a recording can't do that.]
Yeah. Sure.
[He folds. Looking away from Lavellan as he transforms.]
Whatever.
[And drives away.]