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[heisenbitch]

Who: Jesse Pinkman & various closed threads to CR
When: March catch-all for established CR
Where: St. Monmouth & around Region 1
What: Dadding and hanging and other stuff, oh my
Warnings: Drug use, swearing, other stuff that comes with Jesse Pinkman territory. If you want a starter, feel free to hit me up via PM or over at nanageddon!

☲ closed to Ellie | Jesse's bedroom

[ Ellie winding up spending far more time in Jesse's room, camping out in his bed most nights, eventuated almost accidentally. A few times here and there, she has fallen asleep on his bed, and Jesse, not wanting to disturb her, always ends tucking his comforter over her and leaving her be. He sleeps pretty poorly at night himself, but when he's finally so exhausted that he can't keep his eyes open, he winds up climbing into bed next to Ellie and collapsing into a deep sleep. She can never seem to sleep without him close by, anyway.

That same situation has wound up happening again tonight. Jesse has been fast asleep next to Ellie for a couple of hours now, huddling on his stomach with his face mashed into the pillow, while Ellie is curled up on her side close to him. He stirs when a whimpering noise cuts into his sleep, though he's so tired that he sinks straight back into deep sleep… and is suddenly jolted right back out of it, startling him wide awake, at Ellie letting out a scream with a thrash of her arms. One of her arms hits Jesse square in the face.

Jesse, bewildered and disoriented with sleep, bolts upright with his eyes wide and alarmed. It takes him all of a second to realise with horror that Ellie is having another nightmare. ]

Hey, hey, hey. [ Face contorting into urgent worry, Jesse twists hurriedly onto his knees, arms reaching out to grab a hold of her flailing fists. ] Ellie, Ellie.

☲ closed to Gansey | Monmouth library

[ Reaching the sprawling library in Monmouth, Jesse pokes his head through the door. His eyes do a sweep of the books, the furniture, the shelves, the stepladder staircase leading up to a nook crammed with more books, and he pushes his hands into his pockets as he steps over the threshold.

Jesse is far from a bookworm, definitely far from any kind of academic, and once upon a time in his wasted youth, he would have rolled his eyes with an inward sneer - an outward sneer, too - at being in a place surrounded by so much knowledge. Places like these always pointed out to him how stupid he was, how stupid and inadequate he felt, and making fun of places like this was the only way he knew how to rebuff that.

Now, though… Something about this library commands respect. Maybe it's the reverent silence of it, how magic seeps into every crevice, every corner. Maybe it's also because Jesse isn't the same shithead he used to be. Maybe it's also because he's got a far more pressing matter on his mind to worry about feeling inadequate and out of place in a place so full of knowledge that's far beyond his academic abilities. ]

Yo. [ He calls this out tentatively, more hushed than out loud. ] Gansey. You in here, man?

☲ closed to Jamie | Jamie's cabin

[ It's late. Dusk has long since settled over Monmouth and the farms. Fireflies and glowing bugs buzz around lazily in the night air, and magical strange trees that emit a low, ethereal glow light the pathway towards Jamie's cabin as Jesse heads down towards it.

The soft glow of homely lights flicking from the windows of the cabin illuminate the front porch, and Jesse, clutching a large pizza in one hand and a six-pack of beer in his other hand, juggles them both so he can lift his hand to the wooden door to knock on it. ]

☲ closed to Shepard | Alleyway outside the aquarium

[ Ugh, thank Christ, thinks Jesse as the staff side door leading out into the alleyway bangs shut behind him. He's dying for a smoke. Shepard has been riding his ass all goddamn morning, and though he's not supposed to be sneaking a smoke break in right now, he's sneaking one in, anyway. Just a five-minute break. Then he'll get back to it.

He plops down on a short stack of crates, pursing a cigarette between his lips. Flicking his lighter aflame, he lights the tip, and he draws in a deep, grateful lungful of smoke with his shoulders sagging in relief. God, Shepard, man. She's like a freakin' Nazi. This job - cleaning out aquariums, tending to fish - is hardly meth superlab material, but Shepard constantly pounding his ass about getting things done, that he hasn't done this job properly, hasn't finished that job yet, makes him miss Mr. White a little.

A lot, actually. In fact, Jesse feels immense guilt that he's left Mr. White back at home, after Mr. White had saved his life. He knows somewhere deep down that he shouldn't miss Mr. White. The guy is a giant dick. But after everything he and Mr. White have been through together… Well, it's written all over Jesse's face, really: the dark bags under his eyes, his shaved head, the haunted look in Jesse's expression that follows him wherever he goes. Jesse is definitely a lot different to how Shepard knew him when they'd first met, all those months ago on the Moira. There seems to be a piece of Jesse missing now. Like a piece of him died along with what happened when he was sent back home.

Whatever, though. He brings his cigarette back up to his lips for another drag while rolling his skinny, aching shoulders, completely unaware that Shepard is hunting him down and is about to find him slacking off out here in the alleyway behind the aquarium. ]

☲ closed to Daisy | Text » Daisy's apartment

Hey I'm in R5
You around? Wanna meet up?

☲ closed to Carl | Text » St. Monmouth

[ It probably seems a little out of nowhere, Jesse messaging Carl. The kid often crosses Jesse's mind, though, even more so since Ellie arrived. Jesse knows very little about Carl's life back in his world, but he knows the kid has gone through… well. Maybe somewhat similar stuff to Ellie, if the little hints Carl has dropped here and there and the way he behaves is anything to go by. ]

Carl wassup
It's Jesse

☲ closed to Matthew | Cont'd from TDM

[ God, this kid… There seems something entirely magical about him, too. His laughter, his infectious happiness… Such a stark contrast to Ronan. Jesse can't help turning his head from the magical view to gaze at the kid, enthralled, uplifted. He's found himself almost completely forgetting about his own problems because of this kid.

Knowing Ronan's past, though, or the things Ronan has told him, at least - Jesse's heart does a small aching twist again at the kid mentioning 'the place we used to live'. ]

Yeah? [ His mouth twists into a warm little smile. ] Your brother's really something. Never met anyone like him. [ He thinks about that for just a second, then adds: ] Don't think anyone's met anyone like Ronan. He's told me a lot about… y'know. Who he is. The things he can do.

Comments

[morethan084]

You watch MasterChef, don't you?

[She enjoys the fact that he's just as sarcastic as she is. Blending up her shake, Daisy almost offered it to him as a joke. It took her a while to get used to the taste of them.]

I'm sure she's glad to have you there.

[Daisy is getting the vibe that he doesn't want to talk about her though, so she drops the subject. With her shake done, Daisy poured it a glass and moved to lean against the counter near him as she sipped at it.]

I'm glad you hit me up. Been a while since I've seen you.

[She doesn't say that with the intention of somehow making him feel guilty, after all Daisy figured it was better to give him some distance. Which was stupid of her.]

[heisenbitch]

[ He reaches for the knife with his other hand. He glances over at her with a small, warm quirk of his mouth. ]

Yeah, well. I wanted to see you.

[morethan084]

[She doesn't voice her concerns that he might've actually been done with her after that night, it would totally ruin the moment.]

Why do you have to live on the other side of the world?

[Obviously an exaggeration.]

[heisenbitch]

[ That small quirk of his lips grows into a small, sweet smile. ]

It's not like you can't show up any time you want to, y'know.

[morethan084]

[Well she wasn't expecting him to say that, given the last time... Smiling tightly, Daisy looked down at her glass.]

I figured you'd want your space.

[heisenbitch]

[ His smile grows pensive, then he looks back down to the lettuce. He hesitates, then slices the knife through the middle of the lettuce. ]

Yeah, I mean, I... I needed time to figure some things out, get my head straight and stuff, but... that's in the past now.

[morethan084]

Good, I'm glad.

[She almost tells him how much she missed him, but that felt like it would make her come off as clingy. So instead she leaned over to kiss his cheek.]

[heisenbitch]

[ It's a lie, of course. It's far from in the past. He doesn't use when he's at Monmouth anymore, it's true. He still goes out when it all gets too much, though. There are times it gets too much to the point where he needs some way to get high, be that with drugs or sex or even outright recklessness, in order to numb the trembling in his fingers or the flashbacks playing over and over in his head like he's right back there at Gale's apartment. Some nights, he wakes up in the middle of the night in a jolt of panic, bathed in sweat, gasping for breath. Many nights, he can't sleep properly at all, and sometimes he winds up crying himself to sleep.

It doesn't help that he misses Mr. White, that he feels guilty about leaving Mr. White back in Albuquerque, when Mr. White had been the one to save him. As much as he wants to hate Mr. White for giving him no choice but to kill Gale, he can't. "I saved your life, Jesse," Mr. White had beseeched him with such fear in his eyes while Jesse had been hiding out in the laser tag building, the plan to kill Gale being laid out in front of him, "are you going to save mine?"

The kiss to his cheek surprises him out of his momentary but deep descent into grim thought. He lifts his head and looks over at Daisy, and if there's a tightness to his expression, something haunted and troubled, it's gone in a split second.

The corner of his mouth quirks up slightly at her. ]

What was that for?

[morethan084]

[Of course she doesn't believe what he was saying either, you don't just get over what was clearly a scarring experience for him. Still, if he wanted to talk about it she hoped he knew that she would listen.]

Well I didn't want to completely distract you when you have a knife in your hand.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse breaks out into a small smile, then looks down at the chopping board with a small huffs of amusement. Internally, his stomach does a nervous, eager flip.

He looks back over at Daisy. ]

Guess you coulda told me to put the knife down.

[morethan084]

What? Was the cheek kiss not enough?

[Of course she's asking this as she moves to snake her arms around him.]

[heisenbitch]

[ The moment her arms begin to snake around him, Jesse looks back down to the chopping board, biting his bottom lip around a grin spreading across his mouth. His stomach tightens up and a giddy rush of eagerness foods through him.

Jesse sets the knife down. He turns in Daisy's arms to face her, his small grin a little roguish, a little boyish, a little infatuated. ]

Well. Ain't like I'd say no to a little something more.

[morethan084]

You wouldn't, huh?

[C'mon like the only reason he came over here was to cut up lettuce. Sliding a hand around to the back of his neck, Daisy leaned in to press a teasing kiss against his lips.]

Something like that?

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse's hand start to slide onto Daisy's hips. He lets her move in, watching her eyes as she gives him that teasing kiss. He hovers close to her, and he tilts his head so their lips almost brush against each other again. ]

Yeah, maybe something a little more like that.

[ He grins a tiny little grin. But then, he closes his eyes and closes the distance again, the kiss soft and slow with a sweet, almost barely there touch of lips, like he's been longing to kiss her and wants to savour it.

His pulse is suddenly racing, and it's not from arousal anywhere near as much as it is from the effect Daisy has on him. ]

[morethan084]

[Pulling herself up against him, Daisy wrapped one of her arms around his middle to keep him there. As if he was actually going to pull away. She had missed him, that much was obvious. The fact that he was doing better, looking better, it took a weight off of her shoulders. She had tried to help him, but she thought by keeping her distance she was doing that.

She had to remind herself not to get carried away, for two reasons. The main reason being she was still starving and would rather not have a burnt meal, but also she was afraid that he would think this is all she wanted from him. To hook up whenever they saw each other. He meant a lot more to her than just a casual hook up.

Before the kiss could really deepen, Daisy pulled her head back and opened her eyes to look at him.]

I should show you around town. After we eat I mean, since you've never been here before.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse is about to deepen the kiss when Daisy pulls away. He opens his eyes and studies her face. His hands lightly caress her hips, and he gives her a soft smile. ]

Yeah. Sure. We can do that.

[ This is the absolute opposite of keeping his distance from her, like Jesse keeps telling himself he'll do. He can't help it, though. She does things to him. Maybe he misses Andrea, too. And Jane. He always misses Jane. Daisy helps fill that void a little. ]

[morethan084]

[For her she didn't see any part of Lincoln in Jesse, at least she tried not to. It was hard not to think of him when they were together. Part of her felt guilty and always would, it felt like, for becoming intimate with Jesse. In some ways it felt as though it were too soon, but this feeling had been going on before she even left. There she goes getting caught up in her thoughts because she knew Jesse had just said something, but her response was just a few seconds delayed.]

Yeah?

[Daisy partially felt like just staying here, with him, and not leaving the house again for today. There were days where she couldn't even leave her bed. She didn't tell him about this of course, he rarely saw that side of her and she would rather keep it that way.]

I mean it's not the most exiting city, but some of the places are cool.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse notices. He notices Daisy's ruminating expression, and he notices the delay in her responding to him. ]

Uh, yeah. Yeah, 'course. I mean, it'd just be cool to hang out with each other, right? [ And he flashes her a thin-lipped smile, before that fades, and he adds: ] ...You okay?

[morethan084]

Right.

[Unsurprisingly she brushes off his concerned question by smiling and tightening her arms around him before letting go.]

I'm fine. Should probably make sure our food doesn't burn though.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse isn't convinced. He doesn't push it, though. He just gives a small nod, stepping back when she lets go, and he faces back to the counter where the chopping board of lettuce awaits him. He picks the knife up to resume chopping it.

Topic change time! ]

Bought Ellie a skateboard the other day. Man, was she stoked. Never seen a kid so happy about something most kids take for granted back where I'm from.

[morethan084]

[Back to him as she turns over the chicken, Daisy smiles when he mentions how excited she was to have a skateboard.]

Really? Did you teach her any cool tricks?

[heisenbitch]

Yeah, been taking her for a skate most days. Just showin' her the basics at the moment. She's been taking to it like a little pro.

[ Is there a hint of fond pride in his voice there? You bet. ]

[morethan084]

Sounds like you guys found something you can bond over.

[It's no stretch of the imagination to see that Ellie is the best thing to happen to Jesse since he came back.

With the chicken done, Daisy moved to set out plates for them on the table.]

You skate a lot back home?

[heisenbitch]

I used to, 'specially when I was in high school. I'd cut school a lot with my homeboys and shred up the skate park nearby. Or, y'know, find an empty parking lot and hang out making skating videos and doing other stupid shit 'til it got dark. Always got the shit blasted outta me by the parents when I'd get home.

[morethan084]

You? Cut school? I don't believe that.

[Total and utter sarcasm as she moves past him again to get out utensils. When is the last time Jesse actually had a meal that wasn't leftovers?

Her expression doesn't falter but there's always that small pang whenever she hears about parents actually looking out for their children. Her father had, in his own fucked up ways. Of course she didn't know about any of that until she was much older and was finally introduced to him.]

I used to cut school too. Not to go skateboarding though.

[She purposefully leaves it vague, but by the smirk on her face? It was pretty clear it was for not so legal reasons.]