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[heisenbitch]

Who: Jesse Pinkman & various closed threads to CR
When: March catch-all for established CR
Where: St. Monmouth & around Region 1
What: Dadding and hanging and other stuff, oh my
Warnings: Drug use, swearing, other stuff that comes with Jesse Pinkman territory. If you want a starter, feel free to hit me up via PM or over at nanageddon!

☲ closed to Ellie | Jesse's bedroom

[ Ellie winding up spending far more time in Jesse's room, camping out in his bed most nights, eventuated almost accidentally. A few times here and there, she has fallen asleep on his bed, and Jesse, not wanting to disturb her, always ends tucking his comforter over her and leaving her be. He sleeps pretty poorly at night himself, but when he's finally so exhausted that he can't keep his eyes open, he winds up climbing into bed next to Ellie and collapsing into a deep sleep. She can never seem to sleep without him close by, anyway.

That same situation has wound up happening again tonight. Jesse has been fast asleep next to Ellie for a couple of hours now, huddling on his stomach with his face mashed into the pillow, while Ellie is curled up on her side close to him. He stirs when a whimpering noise cuts into his sleep, though he's so tired that he sinks straight back into deep sleep… and is suddenly jolted right back out of it, startling him wide awake, at Ellie letting out a scream with a thrash of her arms. One of her arms hits Jesse square in the face.

Jesse, bewildered and disoriented with sleep, bolts upright with his eyes wide and alarmed. It takes him all of a second to realise with horror that Ellie is having another nightmare. ]

Hey, hey, hey. [ Face contorting into urgent worry, Jesse twists hurriedly onto his knees, arms reaching out to grab a hold of her flailing fists. ] Ellie, Ellie.

☲ closed to Gansey | Monmouth library

[ Reaching the sprawling library in Monmouth, Jesse pokes his head through the door. His eyes do a sweep of the books, the furniture, the shelves, the stepladder staircase leading up to a nook crammed with more books, and he pushes his hands into his pockets as he steps over the threshold.

Jesse is far from a bookworm, definitely far from any kind of academic, and once upon a time in his wasted youth, he would have rolled his eyes with an inward sneer - an outward sneer, too - at being in a place surrounded by so much knowledge. Places like these always pointed out to him how stupid he was, how stupid and inadequate he felt, and making fun of places like this was the only way he knew how to rebuff that.

Now, though… Something about this library commands respect. Maybe it's the reverent silence of it, how magic seeps into every crevice, every corner. Maybe it's also because Jesse isn't the same shithead he used to be. Maybe it's also because he's got a far more pressing matter on his mind to worry about feeling inadequate and out of place in a place so full of knowledge that's far beyond his academic abilities. ]

Yo. [ He calls this out tentatively, more hushed than out loud. ] Gansey. You in here, man?

☲ closed to Jamie | Jamie's cabin

[ It's late. Dusk has long since settled over Monmouth and the farms. Fireflies and glowing bugs buzz around lazily in the night air, and magical strange trees that emit a low, ethereal glow light the pathway towards Jamie's cabin as Jesse heads down towards it.

The soft glow of homely lights flicking from the windows of the cabin illuminate the front porch, and Jesse, clutching a large pizza in one hand and a six-pack of beer in his other hand, juggles them both so he can lift his hand to the wooden door to knock on it. ]

☲ closed to Shepard | Alleyway outside the aquarium

[ Ugh, thank Christ, thinks Jesse as the staff side door leading out into the alleyway bangs shut behind him. He's dying for a smoke. Shepard has been riding his ass all goddamn morning, and though he's not supposed to be sneaking a smoke break in right now, he's sneaking one in, anyway. Just a five-minute break. Then he'll get back to it.

He plops down on a short stack of crates, pursing a cigarette between his lips. Flicking his lighter aflame, he lights the tip, and he draws in a deep, grateful lungful of smoke with his shoulders sagging in relief. God, Shepard, man. She's like a freakin' Nazi. This job - cleaning out aquariums, tending to fish - is hardly meth superlab material, but Shepard constantly pounding his ass about getting things done, that he hasn't done this job properly, hasn't finished that job yet, makes him miss Mr. White a little.

A lot, actually. In fact, Jesse feels immense guilt that he's left Mr. White back at home, after Mr. White had saved his life. He knows somewhere deep down that he shouldn't miss Mr. White. The guy is a giant dick. But after everything he and Mr. White have been through together… Well, it's written all over Jesse's face, really: the dark bags under his eyes, his shaved head, the haunted look in Jesse's expression that follows him wherever he goes. Jesse is definitely a lot different to how Shepard knew him when they'd first met, all those months ago on the Moira. There seems to be a piece of Jesse missing now. Like a piece of him died along with what happened when he was sent back home.

Whatever, though. He brings his cigarette back up to his lips for another drag while rolling his skinny, aching shoulders, completely unaware that Shepard is hunting him down and is about to find him slacking off out here in the alleyway behind the aquarium. ]

☲ closed to Daisy | Text » Daisy's apartment

Hey I'm in R5
You around? Wanna meet up?

☲ closed to Carl | Text » St. Monmouth

[ It probably seems a little out of nowhere, Jesse messaging Carl. The kid often crosses Jesse's mind, though, even more so since Ellie arrived. Jesse knows very little about Carl's life back in his world, but he knows the kid has gone through… well. Maybe somewhat similar stuff to Ellie, if the little hints Carl has dropped here and there and the way he behaves is anything to go by. ]

Carl wassup
It's Jesse

☲ closed to Matthew | Cont'd from TDM

[ God, this kid… There seems something entirely magical about him, too. His laughter, his infectious happiness… Such a stark contrast to Ronan. Jesse can't help turning his head from the magical view to gaze at the kid, enthralled, uplifted. He's found himself almost completely forgetting about his own problems because of this kid.

Knowing Ronan's past, though, or the things Ronan has told him, at least - Jesse's heart does a small aching twist again at the kid mentioning 'the place we used to live'. ]

Yeah? [ His mouth twists into a warm little smile. ] Your brother's really something. Never met anyone like him. [ He thinks about that for just a second, then adds: ] Don't think anyone's met anyone like Ronan. He's told me a lot about… y'know. Who he is. The things he can do.

Comments

[morethan084]

Nope. Just stuck here not being able to help protect people like me.

[Despite apologizing for bringing all of this up, its kind of hard for Daisy to be anything but negative at the moment. Especially when she suddenly feels like opening up a little bit.]

Inhumans aren't exactly loved by everyone back home. There's a hate group after people like me trying to kill them all.

[Her included, obviously.]

[heisenbitch]

[ That weak, sympathetic smile of Jesse's presses into a faint, thin line. Jesus... He lets her face go but stays close, leaning over to drop his elbows on his knees with his watery gaze still fixed on her. He studies her face with concerned attentiveness written all over his face. Softly: ]

Watchdogs, right?

[ He remembers Daisy mentioning their name, months ago. When she was shot in the shoulder and Jesse had found her close to passed out and nearly delirious from blood loss. ]

[morethan084]

Yep. Lame name, right? Not that Inhumans is much better. Or Quake.

[Right. He didn't know about the name the media had given her back home, she wasn't exactly fond of it. Although it was better than everyone knowing her real name.

Leaning against the table when he let go of her face, Daisy fiddled with her fork so it wasn't stuck laying in her food she had abandoned.

Wait. How did he know the Watchdogs by name?]

...How did you know their name?

[heisenbitch]

You mentioned it. Like, after I found you all... y'know. In real bad shape and brought you back to my tent. After the ship crashed and you'd been sent home and stuff. [ Said with a small measure of tentativeness; he doesn't particularly want to remind her of that whole nightmare. ] You were pretty out of it at the time. But you told me it was one of them who shot you.

[morethan084]

[Please. What's another trauma to deal with?]

Right. Yeah. That's the kind of thing that happens when you manage to steal their hit list and think no one is home...

[Should probably shut up now.]

Like you said. Not Anerica's Most Wanted here.

[Daisy reached out to grab hold of his hand.]

As much as you want believe you're a bad person, you've been proving the exact opposite here since day one. Pretty sure any other guy would've taken advantage of a drunk girl. Maybe not after puking on them, but, you know what I mean.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse raises his brows slightly at that nugget of information. Daisy really doesn't have to explain any further, because Jesse can piece more than enough together from 'That's the kind of thing that happens when you manage to steal their hit list and think no one is home'.

But then, a frown easing back onto his brow when she takes his hand. ]

Doesn't mean I'm a good guy, Daisy. Just means I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

[ His other hand comes up and he tenderly strokes his fingers across her cheek. ]

[morethan084]

[Letting out a soft laugh at his 'point', Daisy chews on the inside of her cheek as she looks down at their hands.]

Yeah. Because that's the sort of thing a bad guy says.

[Or the way a bad guy looks at her, when she manages to look up and see him staring at her like that. Especially with the way he's caressing her cheek. Doesn't exactly make her want to do anything else besides lean in closer to him. Daisy suggested they go check out the town after they ate, but was that really going to happen now?]

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse doesn't answer. He is a bad guy. A bad guy with a lot of loyalty and who wears his heart on his sleeve. As Daisy leans in towards him, though, he does the same - only slightly... Then, leans in a little more, closing the distance tentatively, while his hand slides onto her cheek to cup it in his palm, like he so badly wants to kiss her but doesn't know if it's the right thing to do. ]

[morethan084]

[Him being hesitant is the only thing that makes her think twice about any of this. Hand coming up to the side of his face, Daisy stroked her thumb over his skin there.]

Are you okay?

[Daisy lets out a soft sort of scoff when she realizes how dumb that was.]

Sorry. That was a stupid question.

[heisenbitch]

Should be me asking you that question, not the other way around.

[ His thumb strokes away a damp smudge beneath her eye left from tears she'd began shedding only minutes earlier. He manages a weak little smile for her, the threat of his own tears having managed to be sucked back under control.

He ends up leaning right in, but it's to press a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead. ]

[morethan084]

[Daisy smiled tightly when he wiped away any lingering tears on her face. Hand holding tightly onto his as he leaned in to press a kiss against his forehead. Closing her eyes in a poor attempt to keep from crying again, Daisy brought her hand that was on his cheek to the back of his neck instead.]

I didn't mean to make this so depressing.

[heisenbitch]

You didn't. Like I said, you can tell me anything. I'll always listen.

[ Murmured with his lips still pressed to her forehead. It was his fault for bringing up all of this for her. By saying he wanted to see her a whole lot more when he knows he should be keeping his distance.

Even in spite knowing this, however, he remembers how she'd said he just isn't sick of her yet, so he adds: ]

And for the record, I'll never get sick of you.

[morethan084]

[She wouldn't though. At least right now, this was the most she could talk about. As much as she wore her heart on her sleeve there were just some things she kept to herself. Opening her eyes, Daisy pulled her head back to look at him with a sad smile.]

Give it a few months.

[It was tempting to kiss him, but with the fact that he didn't go in for it before she thought maybe now wasn't the right time. So instead she dropped her hand from the back of his neck and put a little distance between them.]

Should probably eat this before it gets cold.

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse doesn't let her face go. As much as he knows he should take her bringing their lunch back into focus as a cue to drop the whole subject, Jesse just studies her eyes with a slight frown on his face. He means it: he could never get sick of Daisy. He doesn't know how to make that point clear to her. If anyone gets sick of anyone, it'll be her getting sick of him.

He leans back in towards her, without hesitating this time, and he tilts his head to press a soft kiss to her lips. It's not a kiss borne out of wanting to distract her or seduce her; it's a kiss borne out of him not knowing how else to express to her that he could never get sick of her. Him wanting to care for her. Him wanting her to know she's not alone. ]

[morethan084]

[Or the food could get cold. Who cares? That's what microwaves are for. She missed him when he was around, but sometimes it felt like she shouldn't. Sometimes she felt guilty when her thoughts were overtaken with him instead of Lincoln. It's hard to shut those conflicting thoughts out. At least until he's kissing her and it's difficult to focus on anything else besides the way her body tingle whenever he so much as touches her.

Eyes sliding shut, Daisy let go of her fork that she had just picked up and brought it back to the side of his face as she kissed him back eagerly.]

[heisenbitch]

[ Jesse lets Daisy kiss him however she wants to kiss him. He would have let her push him away, too. But maybe feeling close to someone is what she needs. He knows what that feeling is like - feeling so alone, wishing for some kind of human contact. Someone to touch him and want him, help him drown out how alone he feels.

Before the kiss can get too heated, Jesse breaks away just enough to open his eyes and look at her.

He repeats, quietly but insistently this time, both his hands now cupping her face in his palms to make her look at him: ]

I could never get sick of you. Okay? I love every moment we spend together. Even the sad ones.

[ His lips pull into a tiny smile for her. ]

[morethan084]

[Sucking in a breath when he pushes away, Daisy opens her eyes except she doesn't make eye contact at first. Instead she's staring at her lap when he tries to reassure her.

Guilt makes people feel and think stupid things some times, and that's what she's dealing with on a daily basis. Why should he care about her? She doesn't deereve it.]

I don't know why you do.

[heisenbitch]

Because we've been through a lot together. Because we've looked out a lot for each other. Because we make each other laugh. Because I care about you. [ Jesse ducks his head a little, trying to catch her eyes with his. ] Because I'm lucky to have such an amazing person in my life, even though I know I don't deserve it.

[morethan084]

[Yeah, that's not helping her to keep from crying. This time it's because this is exactly how she feels about him. She just didn't think she deserved it from him. Daisy finally makes eye contact, unsurprisingly there were tears in her eyes again.]

I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.

[heisenbitch]

Okay. Neither  of us deserve it, then. How's that?

[ His lips quirk onto a faint joking smile. It fades straight back into him studying her with pensive sadness because hes not actually trying to make light of it. He sees those tears forming in her eyes again. He wants to kiss those tears away and take away her sadness.

Tilting her face up a little more, Jesse leans back in and ghosts his lips softly against hers. ]

[morethan084]

Better.

[There's barely a smile on her face, but she at least looks a little less sad. As soon as his lips brush hers Daisy is bringing her hand up to the side of his face.

Unsurprisingly it's not long until things are becoming more heated. The food could wait, right? So could the tour around town. Pulling away to catch her breath, Daisy licked her lips before speaking up.]

No roommates here to complain or interrupt us. Always a bonus.

[heisenbitch]

[ While they kiss, Jesse is torn: he wants this, god, he wants this. He wants her. He wants to make her feel better, wants to take her mind off things, wants to make her feel loved. But he's torn in that he doesn't want to hurt her. He doesn't want her to do something that makes thinking about her boyfriend worse. She had said, after all, that she feels like she's cheating.

But at the same time, she seems to need this. When she pulls away and says that there will be no one around to interrupt them, Jesse takes that to mean that she doesn't want to talk about anything anymore. That she wants this.

So, without a word, he lets her face go so he can reach for one of her hands. He laces her fingers with his and urges Daisy to her feet once he's standing. A wordless request for Daisy to lead the way to her room, while he reaches his other hand up to cup her cheek again while pressing a soft kiss to her lips. ]