thisavrou_log | (no subject)

Who: Friends of Nathan Drake and Jane Shepard and also basically anyone who wanders in
When: The local calendar equivalent of April 11th-ish
Where: unp̨̛r͠o̧̕n̢ơ̕͡únć͢͡ȩ͢ab͞͠l͘͡e͟ s͏̶̢p͏̡͞a̢̧c̴̶̀e̴͞ ̢bar̵͢ ͟͡n͝a͡m͝è̛ in Region 1
What: It's a come meet my long lost brother party. It's a birthday with no birthday decorations party. It's a combination come meet my long lost brother and birthday with no birthday decorations party. Also there's a bar fight.
Warnings: F for Fisticuffs

It's a lively night in the commercial area of Kauto's Region 1. A new restaurant and bar has opened, owned and operated by a boisterous blue-skinned alien named Jef and a meticulously hospitable robot named Enna. Drinks of all kinds—from space beer to motor oil-tasting wine to sugary wine coolers, which are apparently a delicacy on some backwards-ass planet—are on sale at a discount, and the food on the menu is Epcot World Showcase-level good.

The main space is seeing good business, but a private area in the bar, separate by a row of booths, is the site of a dual-purpose gathering. It must partly be for a birthday, although there are no birthday decorations of any kind, because a few attendees (they know who they are) are wearing ridiculous birthday hats, but strangely, Shepard is not one of them. Someone brought a pack of party noisemakers for those willing to make annoying honking sounds, and Nate might be one of them.

Good news for thirsty friends! Shepard is buying all the drinks with an endless open tab, and Nate's ordering more snack trays over time. There's also what looks like a pool table (but the game has inexplicable space rules), a dart board, and a foosball table with apparently-sentient tiny robots attached to the rails who immediately start talkin' shit at each other when a game begins. At some point, an alien who doesn't actually seem to know anyone at the party has sidled up and begun a game of space poker, and people are getting into it.

As the night goes on, Shepard remains unfortunately sober and the brothers Drake are happily sharing stories of their youth that each thinks makes the other one look bad. But a few hours in, a large crowd of members of Jef's species enters the bar and it doesn't take that long before an altercation begins. What's actually happening is, to those in the know, a complex social ritual that involves the display of appreciation for one's station in life and respect for the strength of others through physical interaction. From the outside, though, it just looks like a BAR FIGHT!

Pandemonium erupts, as some partake in the ritual and some are just patrons who are pissed about getting hit with a pool cue. It spreads with no rhyme or reason, all music drowned out by excited shouting, and at some point Enna hurls herself into the crowd and starts laying the beatdown with her robot fists, because this is not how she wanted the grand opening week to go god dammit. There's no calming things down then; fight your way out of the bar, or just fight!

[ooc note: If your character is on friendly terms with Nate or Shep, it's likely they got a casual invitation to come by tonight. If not, the bar owners have been aggressively promoting their new business, so it would be easy for their attention to be caught—all are welcome!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When Zer0 had dragged Krieg out to this party, he'd made the Psycho promise to be on his best behavior. Krieg had been more or less willing, because even though the last birthday party he'd gone to had been so painfully awkward even he had noticed it, there had been a prodigious amount of pizza.

So, so far, so good, as far as Krieg's concerned. There is plenty to eat, and he's not too bored, even though Zer0 is sitting in a corner being all anti-social with his drink and his straw. In a show of solidarity, and also in the similar mindset of not wanting to take his mask all the way off (he just pushes it far enough back on his head so that he can put food and drink in his mouth), Krieg's currently sitting next to Zer0 at the bar with his own drink and bendy straw, a giant dorito-shaped stack of muscles next to the skinny noodle man.]

Are we having fun, yet?

Not yet.

[It wasn't a bad time at all, but this wasn't exactly the most exciting bar they'd ever been to, either. Zer0 had been content to sit around and people watch for a while, but man, this just wasn't the same as stopping at Moxxie's with the squad. This place was just too clean, there weren't enough rowdy assholes causing a ruckus, nobody literally paying them to get wasted and then go shoot up another bar. It did have booze, though. Booze that someone else was paying for. Zer0 wasn't really a big drinker, but fuck it, there was no harm in indulging every now and then.]

...What was that guy's name, / The Hodunk with the huge ears. /Tractor? ...No, not that.

[Okay maybe he'd indulged just a bit too much, his mind was going to weird places.]

[Krieg is the last person to question where someone else's weird train of thought is going, so he grumbles thoughtfully while he seriously considers Zer0's question.]

Mngh...Tractor, hacker, light refractor, belly dancer - [You're welcome for that unsettling mental image] - Mnuguhuhuhu, weed whacker, retractor...Pfff, Tector!

[Eeeeeey!

Now tell him why you needed the reminder pls, friend.]

Edited 2017-04-18 04:09 (UTC)

Tector! I was close. /

[Zer0 pauses mid-haiku to work his straw back into his helmet hang on bro]

Just thinking about old jobs, / Remember that wake?

[maybe shooting up a bar full of drunk, mourning Zafords had been kind of a dick move, but come on. That shit was funny.]

Mnuhuhuhu! I remember the buxom beer bequeathed by bountiful bosoms before the beautiful bloodshed!

[Heck yeah, he remembers.]

The rednecks promised green blood, but it was red just like always!

[Good times.]

[Zer0 kind of just stares at Krieg for a long moment. Said staring is accompanied by a holographic ". . ." on Zer0's face plate. And then a question mark. And then another set of "..." . Look sometimes Krieg's word weaving wizardry was kind of impressive. Right now it's mostly confusing though, if only because booze is involved.]

...Too many "b" words. / Bountiful... beer bosoms. What. / That's not where beer goes.

[but is sure was where Moxxie kept her beer apparently.]

[Zer0's confusion is, predictably, hilarious to Krieg. Just as keikaku, probably.]

MnahahahAHAHAH! Tell it to Moxxi!

[Now it's Krieg's turn to drink, so he shoves his mask up just far enough to get the straw into his mouth. Once successful, he proceeds to very quickly drain about half his glass. Once satisfied, he removes the straw and slides his mask back into place.]

The wake slaughter was almost as fun as the wedding massacre!

[Because LBR, baiting Goliaths is way more fun than slaughtering unsuspecting mourners any day.]

[Seeing as Zer0 has no visible eyes to roll, he's just going to tilt his head in that eye rolling sort of way and groan. Just look normal conversations with Moxxi contained gratuitous amounts of innuendo, imagine how a chat about keeping beer in her boobs would go.

Actually, don't.]

I still can't believe / We stole that ugly baby. / We're kind of assholes.

[He doesn't sound too upset about it ngl]

It's not stealing if you give it back when you're dooo~one!

[Except...they kind of killed that baby's parents...so there really wasn't anyone to give it back to. O o p s.]

You sang it a song / Of how it's parents were dead. / And then we killed them.

[He doesn't sound bothered by this, though. In fact, he just gives Krieg a little shrug and has another sip of his drink.]

Ellie gave us the best jobs.

Pffmnahahahaha! How else would you get baby tears?

[Yeah, there's no remorse here, either. What a pair of assholes.]

[A SHRUG. Wait for it to be hungry? Man babies cry about everything. Either way the moral of the story is that these two clowns should never have children.]

Perhaps once it's grown / It will swear vengeance on us. / We might deserve it.

[Can Zer0 even reproduce? The questions that keep us awake at night...

And Zer0, please. They definitely deserve it.]

Mnuhuhuhu...If it doesn't, I'm gonna be disappointed!

[He shoves his mask up again to have another drink, quickly emptying the rest of the glass and then slurping annoyingly through the straw for several seconds afterward at the tiny splash left in the bottom.]

Bet it won't be as good as the Fake Warrior, though.

[Please don't think about Zer0 reproducing why would you ever

And you know what Zer0's just going to stare uncomfortably at Krieg while he finishes his drink like an uncivilized caveman. Dude.]

Probably won't be, / We've killed several goliaths. / Could surprise us, though.

[Watch the kid grow up to be some kind of super charged turbo-goliath. See that would be awesome]

[Uh, Zer0? Buddy? Dunno if you noticed, but Krieg basically is an uncivilized caveman.

One who knows how to use guns.]

Pffff! I bet it won't! It's gonna take years for it to even grow up.

[He shoves his glass away with one hand and pulls his mask back into place with the other, and turns his one-eyed stare on his friend.]

Boredom will kill us first.

[I mean to be fair that makes him at least a little bit civilized right??

Or maybe not.

Zer0 makes a soft huffing sort of noise and crosses his arms on the bar. Krieg's right, boredom is bullshit.]

I need a challenge, / or at least entertainment. /

[Actually hold that thought. Zer0 takes a glance around the bar, where some of the patrons seem to be getting juuuust a bit rowdy, in that "this could totally tip over into something more dangerous with the right provocation" sort of way.

Zer0 turns back to Krieg, a big red :) popping up from his face plate.]

So, wanna start shit?

[best haiku]