[open] I'm alive I'm alive

[rraidergirl]

Who: Lara and YOU!
When: After the ship leaves Eimiri, several days after this grim business, time is irrelevant and not the boss of me
Where: Everywhere, but mostly between midnight and 4am.
What: It''s very peaceful and quiet and Lara is failing rather spectacularly to cope.
Warnings: Violent flashbacks! Tag headers containing thread specific warnings! Uncalled for dramatics and a needless amount of prompts below the cut!



State of Mind (wildcard)

She hasn't slept. It's less of a problem at this point and more of a fact. She hasn't slept. There should be no reason for it, especially now that they're up and away from the planet and the related madness, but still. Yamatai looms. Lara dreams. Long shadows, heavy rain, small bloody children and Himiko, face twisted in a smile that looks almost like Sam.

Yamatai looms and Lara does not sleep, but ghosts tug at her heels, stepping soft behind her through the corridors. She thinks, probably, she must look mad, prowling through dimmed corridors, eyes hollowed and shadowed, looking for something to distract her. She is at least hesitant to approach other people. She knows she's not at her best and... there's other things. Hands reaching for her, bullets and knives and fire. She takes too loud a breath and for a long moment, doesn't move.

Where's Waldo (wildcard)

The problem with deciding not to sleep (not that this is necessarily a conscious decision, she just simply... isn't) is that eventually the body overcomes the will. Lara sleeps. In brief spurts, barely longer than a few hours at a time. She tries to do it out of the way, but it's rather hit or miss. She tries to keep moving, but there are moments where she has to sit still and that's when she sleeps.

It's could almost be a game: what deeply inappropriate place has Lara managed to fall asleep this time? Next to her food in the cafeteria? On the library floor, surrounded by stacks of open books? Curled up on the observation deck? On top of a spare crate of uniforms in the cargo bay? Wherever it is, someone might want to wake her up.

Midnight Swim

By the ship clock, it's nearly 3am. The rec room is empty and even if it weren't, Lara would be hard pressed to care. She had gotten a few extra sets of clothes on Eimiri, but one of those was definitely not a swim suit. This also doesn't stop her. She strips down to her underwear and slides into the pool. That this part is empty is something of a comfort. She doesn't know what she would say to someone right now.

The water is warm and stinks of chlorine. She does laps till her arms and legs burn, then flips to her back to float. In a moment, she'll turn back over and start again.

Comments

[daintylegs]

"That's my bed."

Tailgate said to nobody in particular as he stared down at the human sleeping on his recharge slab. The slab isn't even built for humans so he has no idea why she thought she should sleep there. There was no way that'd be comfortable. He wondered if he should go hunt Riptide down and get him to move her, but then he remembered that he was big enough to carry her himself.

But did he want to? She seemed really tired.

He himself was feeling a bit tired, but he decided that her need was greater than his. So, being the good guy he was, left for five minutes. When he returned he unskillfully placed a blanket over her body. She was mostly covered with her feet poking out, but he felt like he did his best and therefore he shouldn't be criticised.

With his task accomplished, he sat himself down next to his recharge slab and pulled out a data pad. Holding books was hard when books were flimsy and you're made of metal, so Tailgate stuck everything he could on this thing. With any luck she'd wake up and see him reading something cool and they'd have something cool to talk about. Maybe she'd think he was cool too.

What actually happened was that he fell asleep himself, leaning up against his own bed. His snores, which might be considered adorable amongst his own kind, might seem much louder and more alarming to anyone smaller. So much for his plan to appear cool.

[rraidergirl]

The sound was what woke her up in the end. It's not quite like metal grinding against itself, but it's definitely reminiscent. She startled awake, sitting bolt upright and looking around wildly. She didn't actually remember lying down, much less falling asleep, but apparently at some point she had...

She's greeted with the sight of her first Cybertronian acquaintance, propped up against the metal slab she'd decided to take an impromptu nap on.

"Are you snoring..." It's question she asked mostly to herself, an increasingly rare smile curling the corners of her mouth up.

[daintylegs]

"Nooo..." Tailgate replied sleepily before muttering something about the Lost Light Insider being a lie. After a few more moments of snoring, Lara's voice registered and he jerked awake. Oh! Oh no! This didn't go according to plan. He had to salvage this somehow.

"Oh! Uh, hi Lara. Sorry if I woke you!" He said as if Lara hadn't invited herself to sleep on his recharge slab to begin with. "You just seemed so tired and I didn't want to move you... So I decided to let you keep my berth for now. I'm sorry it's not that comfortable. It's not made for organics, see?"

Where's Waldo | the galley

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

While it'd be a lie to say that the skeleton brothers spent all their time together, or even most of it, the two of them had managed to fall into a comfortable routine here on the Moira. There was a certain point in the day where Sans could be counted on to be at the bar, and another point maybe an hour after that where Papyrus stomped in and made him leave. To say nothing of the now-traditional bedtime story.

When Sans failed to show for either, Papyrus started looking. He wanted to stay optimistic; surely he'd just fallen asleep somewhere idiotic and absolutely none of this was tied to their discussion the other day, his uncomfortable confession that the only reason he'd survived his meeting with Chara was Rosethorn's excellent reflexes.

Of course that wasn't it. Sans was so lazy he barely managed to handle the job assigned to him; why would he go out of his way to borrow trouble?

His wandering brought him to the ship's galley, all polished metal and gleaming floors. Without the bustle and warmth of people cooking in here, the place was dark, almost clinical. He wouldn't be here long, he promised himself, he'd just do a quick check of the shelves where they kept the condiments and leave immediately.

Which made his discovery of a warm, breathing creature curled up under a prep table all the more unnerving.

Papyrus stumbled back, letting out an undignified NYEHHH as he tripped over his own feet and hit the floor, tailbone first. It hurt, but not so badly he couldn't get back up and take a closer look at the sleeping form. He knew this one in passing. She spent time with Sans, and he seemed to think she was pretty cool.

Hey, maybe she had some idea where he was!

Papyrus crouched down, ignoring any aches, and shook Lara's arm.

"Excuse me! Sorry to interrupt your nap, but I have a question for you!"

[rraidergirl]

The noise pulls her towards the waking world, but she can't bring herself to move. She was comfortable, as these things went...

The hand on her arm had her jumping, sitting up to fast and slamming the top of her head against the low metal bottom of the prep table. She curls in on herself with a grunt of pain, hands going to her head. "Ow..."

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

Papyrus was going to warn her as she sat up, but she was much faster and he was left cringing in sympathy pain at the loud clang of human skull connecting with metal. "Oh, no! Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you! Are you okay?"

where's waldo | library

[seeingscarlet]

This is a problem Wanda knows well. Her own sleep has been disturbed and really, it's a wonder they haven't stumbled across each other in various states of human disaster sooner.

Carefully, Wanda drapes her red shawl over Lara and sets about cleaning up the mess of books. She marks the pages with pens or other books or scrap of paper where she can and sets them out of the way. Except for one: the book under Lara's hand.

The riot's still fresh in her memory, and Wanda's not certain Lara would exactly wake up peacefully. So carefully, she summons the wisps of her power to start sliding the book free. Stay asleep stay asleep stay asleep...

[rraidergirl]

It's a strange feeling, the fine line between being awake and dreaming. But this feels so nice... She's dreaming of sunlight and Sam and a trip they'd taken before. Lying under the blue sky, stars peering through (there's so many stars she feels as though she'll be swallowed up by them) and Sam telling her to just stay, just rest.

Only it isn't Sam, there's something underneath. Wearing Sam's face, using her voice. The sweetness of the dream turns cloying and poison- There's red in the corner of her vision and someone leaning over her as she jerks awake, hand shooting out to grab the shadowy figure's wrist.

[seeingscarlet]

She thought she'd been far enough away...famous last words, apparently. The red vanishes and Wanda lets out a startled gasp. Oops. Probably should have left that book where it was.

"Lara, it's all right! You're safe."

midnight swim -- because someone had to!

[yer_pretty_good]

It's not likely anyone else would be using the rec space at 3am. Then again, there were a number of strange people aboard from different times and places. Perhaps they kept odd hours.

When Lara flips in the water to perform a turn and comes up, she'll see that there's a man standing there at the side of the pool looking down at her. He was curious when he heard the sounds of splashing water. Really. He's not spying or anything. Granted, he's spent much of his life as a spy, but this is not one of those moments.

At the very least, he isn't leering. Just sort of looking to see who might actually be in the pool this time of night. "Strange hour for a swim." He notes, taking a few steps back from the side of the pool. Not to worry, he has no intention of jumping in. He's fully dressed in what resembles a cowboy get-up, complete with boots and spurs.

good because it's awful and i love it

[rraidergirl]

For a moment, she thinks she's hallucinating. It's the only thing that keeps her from doing more than catching her breath softly, arms and legs stilling in the water for a moment. Problematic, since she immediately starts to sink. She shifts and swims to the nearest side of the pool that's also the furthest away from the man and considers him.

"I couldn't sleep," she says, deciding that this is probably reality and not some odd new waking dream her mind has cooked up. For one, he hasn't tried to kill her yet.

[yer_pretty_good]

"Couldn't sleep?" He sits in a nearby chair and rests his elbows on his knees, hunching forward, which lets him keep his eyes on her.

"That's the sign of a troubled mind." He knows lots of soldiers that can't sleep at night because of the things they've seen or done. Ocelot has seen and done plenty of things, but generally he sleeps just fine. That probably says something about the state of his own mind, actually.

where's waldo | cargo bay

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Lara's not the only who has troubles with sleeping. J has her own demons that likes to haunt her dreams during the night and cause her terrors. Usually, she knew how to keep them under control or more like ignore them, shrug them off and continue day as if nothing was wrong. But after mass nightmare and dream invasion from the Komai, it had become more difficult to recover from panic attacks.

Not wanting to wake up her roommates, mostly because she can't handle all the fuss and worry that'd come with it, she left the room to take a walk around the sleepy space ship to calm down. For a moment she considered about giving Danny a call but quickly resented the idea and hated herself a little for even thinking about it. She's strong enough to handle this on her own, no need to rely on anyone else. She's better than that. But still, without thinking too much about it she ended up going to Cargo Bay.

It was late, almost 4 am, and she really doubted that anyone would be working there. So, chances to run to another person, or being, should be pretty low. J enjoyed from the solitude of the Cargo Bay. The only sound she could hear was her own footsteps, the soothing and rhythmic sound of her high heels hitting on the floor--- until it wasn't. She could suddenly hear someone else breathing softly and mumbling quietly.

Out of curiosity J walked towards to see where did the sound come from and eventually found a familiar looking woman sleeping in a crate of the spare bedsheets. For a moment J looked at Lara, wondering whether she should just leave her alone or not, after all, sleeping in a place like this can't be good for one's body.

Sighing out loud J hit the sides of the crate hard, hoping that the sound was enough to break other woman's sleep.

"Hey, you. Wake up."

Re: where's waldo | cargo bay

[rraidergirl]

It's definitely not one of her more pleasant wake up calls, but then she wasn't exactly having the sweetest dreams. It was so predictable at this point, it was maddening. Black thick smoke rolling over her skin as the Solarii surged forward in unending waves. She cut them all down, one by one, only to watch Grim fall from the tower, to hear the explosion in the distance that she knew meant Alex was dead. To catch Roth as he fell, the hatchet embedded in his back.

Keep moving, girl. Get up.

Lara bolts upright, voice choking on a shout and looking around for the threat. Her eyes land on J and she lets out a breath. "Oh.. You're--?"

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

J takes a step back when Lara shakes awake so violently, frowning a little at the sight of her condition. She looks so much worse than last time they met, which was kind of an achievement alone. Last time, Lara had looked tired and messy thanks to the ugly bruise on her face that she got from the fight. But now? Now she simply looked exhausted to the point where she'd be sick, almost like she hadn't slept in ages.

And her rude wake up call probably didn't make her feel any better.

"C'mon Lara," J sighs and extends her hand out to her. "Get up and come out."

State of Mind | Misc. Hallway No. 06

[neveroutwrenched]

Sitting in the window bay of in one of the corridors, a ceramic cup filled with some hot - now warm - drink from the mess hall in his hands, Ratchet isn’t expecting anyone to wander by. Not this late at night, when the corridors were normally abandoned and lights were dimmed. Of course, he feels like he spends more sleepless nights wandering the halls of the Moira than anything else, so it shouldn’t be that surprising that others might be doing the same. And more time staring out the window into the black void than he does anything else, really.

Leaning against the cold glass, he only tears his eyes away from it when he hears footsteps and a breath and he sees Lara, looking...lost. Maybe. Maybe tired. She hasn’t seemed to notice him at all. She doesn’t seem okay, and while he can understand that, he doesn’t think he should just ignore it. Twisting around, he speaks, his voice quiet so as not to startle her.

“Lara? You okay?”

He doesn’t make any motion to stand up, just gives her a concerned look, waiting.

[rraidergirl]

She still jumps, spins on her heel and falls into a ready stance. And then immediately feels silly when she sees who it is. Not a Solarii or ageless armored oni.

"Ratchet." Her voice is soft, the relief palpable. "Yes. I'm fine."

She can't think of anything else to say in response, shifting from foot to foot like she's ready to bolt.

Where's Waldo? Tucked away in a corner of the Mess/Bar, of course!

[intherigging]

[The Mess is quiet, this time of night. Shutting down the bar is almost meditative in its repetitiveness, and Jacky's been doing it almost every night since Miles let her work here. Partially because she doesn't mind it, a little bit of familiarity in this queer world, but also because if it's a bad night she can just kip under here without anyone the wiser.

Tonight doesn't seem like it's going to be a bad one. The Black Cloud seems to have abated, for awhile, at least, enough to try sleeping in her room and hopefully not waking anyone up with her nightmares. So it's pure chance that has her spying Lara tucked away in a nook in the room, a weird bit where the architecture of the room just doesn't quite line up. It's a good spot; if Jacky didn't have her make-shift cubby under the bar, that'd be her first choice. She'd leave her too it, too, if it weren't for the fact that she knows what that furrowed brow means.

Coming closer, she crouched down next to Lara and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.] Lara, wake up.

[rraidergirl]

[ It's a familiar dream by now at least. Roth reaching for her, blood soaked and dead. Water in her lungs, grit in her mouth. Fighting, running, falling. Endlessly. Day and night interchangeable. She has to get to Sam, she has to get her off this Island. She promised--

Something touches her shoulder, but she shrugs it off, it's nothing, keep moving. The voice is what pulls her towards the surface. She forces her eyes open, groggy and blinking in the dim light. ]

Sam..? [ That can't be right. ]

midnight swim!

[forwardmomentum]

Miles hasn't been sleeping much lately. He has been working plenty, which might play into it, but he's been on full overdrive ever since Chara's murder. He can't stop turning it around in his head, nervous energy building up in him until he can barely take it anymore, he's got to frigging do something or he'll go insane. All momentum, no direction. Too restless to sleep much -- hell, he doesn't need to sleep much, not when he's in this state.

He's run out of paperwork he can manage into the late hours and by that time he's so bleary-eyed he can barely focus on it. Still buzzing with energy, but his brain's half tapped out. He's got to do something. Which is why three o'clock in the morning finds him trodding in the direction of the rec room in the pair of swim trunks he'd bought back on Caducus Primary before everything went to hell. He hasn't gone swimming in...a very long time, come to think of it, but the thought brings memories of the lake at Vorkosigan Surleau in the summers, and the idea suddenly seems incredibly appealing.

He's still too body conscious not to throw a plain shirt on before he leaves for the rec room, a towel slung over one shoulder. It looks almost comically long on him, although thankfully, not long enough that he has to worry about tripping over it. He's dropped the towel on a chair and kicked his shoes off by the time he realizes he's not alone in the rec room -- he sees a familiar head bobbing in the pool and he brightens slightly, although the nod in her direction is more on the solemn side. The last time he saw her was in the gardens after Chara's murder, and he remembers the falter of her voice, how much it had hurt her. He only takes a half step toward the pool, his hands finding the pockets of his swim trunks.

"Can't sleep either?"

[rraidergirl]

She doesn't hear him come in. It's the voice that does it, familiar, but unexpected. She jerks, head up and looking around, ready for the attack... That doesn't come. Because it's Miles. The tension leaves her all at once and a few easy strokes puts her near him.

"Not really, no." She hasn't slept for a while and it's hard to say whether that's noticeable or not in the dim lighting of the pool. "I thought wearing myself out a bit first might help."

That's mostly the truth. It's the one she's willing to admit to herself.

State of Mind

[gainedlove]

Lara isn't the only one wandering the corridors tonight, though Frisk isn't doing a whole lot of walking at this exact moment. Curled up as they are against the wall, it's easy to miss them, but the quiet hiccups and sobs give them away.

When Lara jolts to a stop her gasp startles Frisk as well, making their head snap up to stare around guiltily. "I-I'm sorr--"

Oh. It's her, the woman from the rescue, and she's looking pretty upset, too. For a few moments Frisk doesn't move, but then scrubs at their eyes and stands up shakily, starting to walk over. They're a morale officer, so it's their job to cheer people up, no matter how upset they feel themself. "A-are...are you okay?"

[rraidergirl]

Lara tenses, looking sharply in the direction of the voice. It takes a moment for what she's seeing to register in her mind and then she's moving carefully, kneeling in front of the child.

"I'm fine." At the very least she manages to keep her voice level, though not gentle. Not true, but it's been not true long enough that the lie is entierly unimportant. She wishes Sans were here, he was good with this sort of thing... and immediately she swallows around the pain in her chest. Maybe... it was better that he wasn't... She focuses on the child. "What's wrong?"

Where's Waldo?

[heart_breaking]

"Excuse me..."

She doesn't stir. Chara looks at her. "Excuse me." They next look at the crumpled sweater in their arms, crusted with dried blood and utterly ruined beyond salvation. There was no point to be in the laundry room for this. They should throw it away without looking back.

They look around. Chara is tempted to walk up to one of the rest that are in use and toss theirs in, or maybe dump one's current contents and start using it instead. It would probably cause more trouble than it's worth, though, and the fact that this lady is hogging what's probably the only quiet washing machine in the room by napping on it bothers them too much to let slide.

"Hey," they say more loudly. A sharp burst of air. "Wake up!"

[rraidergirl]

That does the trick. She jerks upright, nearly slides off the machine, but manages to get her feet on the ground. She blinks at the child in front of her, frowning slightly, blinking. Frisk? ...No.

"...Chara?" She expects the figure in front of her to shimmer and vanish the way most of her hallucinations have.