Lara Croft (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rraidergirl) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou_log2016-02-09 10:06 pm
rraidergirl) wrote in thisavrou_log2016-02-09 10:06 pm
Entry tags:
[open] I'm alive I'm alive
Who: Lara and YOU!
When: After the ship leaves Eimiri, several days after this grim business, time is irrelevant and not the boss of me
Where: Everywhere, but mostly between midnight and 4am.
What: It''s very peaceful and quiet and Lara is failing rather spectacularly to cope.
Warnings: Violent flashbacks! Tag headers containing thread specific warnings! Uncalled for dramatics and a needless amount of prompts below the cut!
State of Mind (wildcard)
She hasn't slept. It's less of a problem at this point and more of a fact. She hasn't slept. There should be no reason for it, especially now that they're up and away from the planet and the related madness, but still. Yamatai looms. Lara dreams. Long shadows, heavy rain, small bloody children and Himiko, face twisted in a smile that looks almost like Sam.
Yamatai looms and Lara does not sleep, but ghosts tug at her heels, stepping soft behind her through the corridors. She thinks, probably, she must look mad, prowling through dimmed corridors, eyes hollowed and shadowed, looking for something to distract her. She is at least hesitant to approach other people. She knows she's not at her best and... there's other things. Hands reaching for her, bullets and knives and fire. She takes too loud a breath and for a long moment, doesn't move.
Where's Waldo (wildcard)
The problem with deciding not to sleep (not that this is necessarily a conscious decision, she just simply... isn't) is that eventually the body overcomes the will. Lara sleeps. In brief spurts, barely longer than a few hours at a time. She tries to do it out of the way, but it's rather hit or miss. She tries to keep moving, but there are moments where she has to sit still and that's when she sleeps.
It's could almost be a game: what deeply inappropriate place has Lara managed to fall asleep this time? Next to her food in the cafeteria? On the library floor, surrounded by stacks of open books? Curled up on the observation deck? On top of a spare crate of uniforms in the cargo bay? Wherever it is, someone might want to wake her up.
Midnight Swim
By the ship clock, it's nearly 3am. The rec room is empty and even if it weren't, Lara would be hard pressed to care. She had gotten a few extra sets of clothes on Eimiri, but one of those was definitely not a swim suit. This also doesn't stop her. She strips down to her underwear and slides into the pool. That this part is empty is something of a comfort. She doesn't know what she would say to someone right now.
The water is warm and stinks of chlorine. She does laps till her arms and legs burn, then flips to her back to float. In a moment, she'll turn back over and start again.
When: After the ship leaves Eimiri, several days after this grim business, time is irrelevant and not the boss of me
Where: Everywhere, but mostly between midnight and 4am.
What: It''s very peaceful and quiet and Lara is failing rather spectacularly to cope.
Warnings: Violent flashbacks! Tag headers containing thread specific warnings! Uncalled for dramatics and a needless amount of prompts below the cut!
State of Mind (wildcard)
She hasn't slept. It's less of a problem at this point and more of a fact. She hasn't slept. There should be no reason for it, especially now that they're up and away from the planet and the related madness, but still. Yamatai looms. Lara dreams. Long shadows, heavy rain, small bloody children and Himiko, face twisted in a smile that looks almost like Sam.
Yamatai looms and Lara does not sleep, but ghosts tug at her heels, stepping soft behind her through the corridors. She thinks, probably, she must look mad, prowling through dimmed corridors, eyes hollowed and shadowed, looking for something to distract her. She is at least hesitant to approach other people. She knows she's not at her best and... there's other things. Hands reaching for her, bullets and knives and fire. She takes too loud a breath and for a long moment, doesn't move.
Where's Waldo (wildcard)
The problem with deciding not to sleep (not that this is necessarily a conscious decision, she just simply... isn't) is that eventually the body overcomes the will. Lara sleeps. In brief spurts, barely longer than a few hours at a time. She tries to do it out of the way, but it's rather hit or miss. She tries to keep moving, but there are moments where she has to sit still and that's when she sleeps.
It's could almost be a game: what deeply inappropriate place has Lara managed to fall asleep this time? Next to her food in the cafeteria? On the library floor, surrounded by stacks of open books? Curled up on the observation deck? On top of a spare crate of uniforms in the cargo bay? Wherever it is, someone might want to wake her up.
Midnight Swim
By the ship clock, it's nearly 3am. The rec room is empty and even if it weren't, Lara would be hard pressed to care. She had gotten a few extra sets of clothes on Eimiri, but one of those was definitely not a swim suit. This also doesn't stop her. She strips down to her underwear and slides into the pool. That this part is empty is something of a comfort. She doesn't know what she would say to someone right now.
The water is warm and stinks of chlorine. She does laps till her arms and legs burn, then flips to her back to float. In a moment, she'll turn back over and start again.
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She was talking about her dead father, and he'd said he sounded like a movie villain...it was practically the epitome of offense. Ratchet tells himself he'll keep his comments to himself for the duration of the story.
"Sorry...keep going."
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"You know, that's what I thought, too. Who cared about immortality, it sounded like the sort of thing a campy movie villain would be obsessed with." She drops her head, rolling her shoulders in a shrug. "My mother had been dead for some time and the woman he was dating, Ana... She was good. Our life was good. He told me I would understand one day. I told him I didn't want to understand, I just wanted him to be my dad again..."
She hasn't actually ever told anyone this, aside from Sam. She's not even sure she wants to tell Ratchet this, but the words keep going regardless.
"I was the one who found him. I heard the gun shot and went running back to his office... Afterward, all I could think was that the last time I spoke to him was that stupid argument."
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"Was he murdered, or..." He doesn't really want to say the or, and probably shouldn't have asked at all.
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"He shot himself." There isn't anyway she can soften that.
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"How old were you?" What did it matter really, is at the back of his mind, but he felt like it mattered, at least in terms of understanding.
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Another shrug. "Being here feels like being caught in a holding pattern. Nothing I learn here, nothing I find will change anything back in my world... But... I still need to know what's out there."
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"It gets hard to keep sight of things back home here. And it's only going to get harder." That sounded more jaded then he'd meant. It was different when Ratchet had left his world; more purposeful than things were with the Ingress. He didn't know if it were or better or worse, that accidental, seemingly random and altogether very sudden way the Ingress brought people here. Made whatever you were doing back in your own time, in your own universe suddenly meaningless.
Not meaningless...but very, very far away.
"What were you doing before here?"
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"Surviving," she says, simply. "It was-- No, it wasn't anything like being here. It was terrible. But in a way it felt the same. Home was so very far away, it might as well have been on another planet."
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"Here isn't too bad."
Home would be better.
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