Mistakes were made

[mttbrandlegs]

Who: Mettaton, Frisk, and Asriel
When: Soon after this. Undertale cast please stop being on fire, would you?
Where: Mettaton's house
What: More apologies and explanations
Warnings: mention of drugs, potentially traumatic subjects of varying natures


Mettaton was going to get this done quick. His high was starting to wear off, and the more alert he became, the more his emotional turmoil seemed to magnify. The more he realized Chara wasn't really wrong about him, and that having the potential to be as terrible as he had in other timelines only meant that he was predisposed to it in every version of himself.

He was never going to escape the inevitable fact that he is not a good person. Mettaton the abandoner, the selfish murderer with no heart to give didn't deserve to have friends.

And yet.

Because he had hurt those he had called friends, he needed to pretend that it was all...okay? Maybe that it was a joke.

Something. He had to pull something.

But even if he prostrated himself before Frisk begging for forgiveness, he knew that he'd never, ever, ever be forgivable. Not to himself, and not to Chara. He doesn't understand...what it is he actually wants from them.

Maybe...just not their hate?

Either way, he sends two messages to the kids he apparently cared so much about that he'd pushed them away...

No. No he won't let himself hurt now.

Now he had to focus on them.

So Mettaton waited. His door was open, they were free to enter at their leisure. He just hoped that they both came.

Whoever showed up would probably notice that there was broken glass near the door--one of the windows was completely shattered inward. Mettaton, of course, was in the living room, seated with his hands on his lap and much more alert than he'd been during Chara's visit.

Comments

[pleasereset]

Asriel happened to be the first one in, with Frisk in tow. To be honest, he wasn't sure what to make of the past few days. Things seemed okay... and then very suddenly, they weren't. Mettaton, who had held him and promised to protect him, suddenly cut off all contact with him despite texts and knocking on his door.

Like he never existed.

And then out of the blue, Mettaton wanted him to come over to talk about something important. Asriel isn't sure what it is, but part of him is dreading what it could be.

He swallows the feeling down though.

"Hi, Mettaton. We're here."

[gainedlove]

Frisk is equally nervous, but hiding it better. Their face has fallen into a blank expression, a numb distance washed over their mind. Their hand is held in Asriel's, they're fairly sure, and when they look over to Mettaton they can't...quite find anything to say.

So instead, they nod. A crease forms between their eyebrows, but otherwise they simply watch from behind long lashes.

[mttbrandlegs]

Mettaton glances at them both and immediately guilt wells up. He already knew he was going to be guilty, but Frisk...Frisk looks so numb, almost as numb as he had felt during the end of his conversation with Chara.

He hates that he'd hurt these children. Nothing he does will ever really fix it. But he's got to try.

"Why don't you both take a seat?" he suggests quietly. "And I'll preface with yet another apology. It...probably sounds dishonest, coming from someone like me, but my intention was never to hurt you two. I realize--or at least, I have been further made to realize--that distancing myself wasn't just unsuccessful, it was downright idiotic.

You're both important to me and I made a mockery of your feelings. I'm very sorry."

[pleasereset]

Asriel squeezes Frisk's hand, more for personal reassurance as Mettaton starts to speak.

"It's... okay."

He's not exactly sure what to say. It felt a little too much like December when everyone had distanced themselves from each other and it kind of hurt, though he doesn't want to show that. It was best to just accept this apology and have things go back to normal again, he thinks.

Or the normal that they pretended existed. Asriel goes to find a seat.

[gainedlove]

Frisk squeezes Asriel's hand in return, faintly, and follows him over to climb into a chair. The world feels...slow, but fast at the same time. They heard what Mettaton said but it seems to take ages before they can process it and find a response.

"Why did you leave?" Wait, no, he didn't leave, he's...here. He remembers. "Why did you try to?"

It feels like every time Frisk finds a bit of stability, something comes by to set the foundations rocking again. Even here...they can't have what they really want, can they?

[mttbrandlegs]

It's just a platitude that Asriel gives him. Mettaton knows it, and he makes note that he'll have to make it up to the young monster very soon. Just as he'll have to make it up to Frisk.

Haha...he's really ruined a lot. And unfortunately, he's going to make it worse. He knows he is.

"I tried to push you away because...if I did it that way, then maybe it would hurt less than what I'm going to tell you now anyway," he admits quietly, and his laced fingers tightening their grip in his lap. He knows what's going to happen. And even if he's wrong...nothing will be the same as it was.

"I'm fairly certain that you have both noticed the tenuous relationship which Chara and I share. Neither of us likes the other. And...Chara...says things. Very painful things that are right, but are also hard to swallow.

...Chara is making it very hard for me, alright? Even telling them about this?"

He quietly reaches for his neck--not the impulse which he can't control this time, it's an example.

"Even telling them about the slavery, they still found a way to make it hurt. And the reason I stopped talking to you is because of them. What they said. I'm...unconscionable to them."

The unspoken part of that is probably not as upfront as it should be.

There's enough I have to deal with every day and they aren't helping me figure out how to keep surviving.

[pleasereset]

Asriel knew that Mettaton and Chara didn't get along. Their relationship with each other has been rough from the start, and Asriel didn't expect it to get better. What he didn't know is that they were interacting when Asriel figured they wouldn't be talking to each other much.

He tries to swallow the information as Mettaton gives it to them. He wanted to stop talking to them because... of Chara? Because of things Chara said?

There's a moment of confusion and uncertainty. He's not really sure what was said, but Mettaton talked to them about slavery and his grip on Frisk's hand tightens with tension as Asriel silently prays that Mettaton didn't say anything to Chara about his own enslavement.

"Chara... said hurtful things about you and... the Outpost?"

His words are carefully picked, avoiding the word "slave" because it's such an ugly term and it leaves a taste of bile in his throat.

... Chara wouldn't actually do that, right?

[gainedlove]

Chara had hurt Mettaton. They had said things, ugly things with the bite of truth to them, and it had made him...pull away.

Frisk knows that Chara is difficult to talk to when they find fault in you. They dig it out, shove it into your face and make sure you know in no uncertain terms what it means. It's...painful. Difficult to fight against.

But to say things like that...about what happened then? What in the world could have been Mettaton's fault then?



...is it because...?



Frisk holds Asriel's hand tightly. It was their fault, not his. They thought Chara knew that.

"What...what did they say?"

[mttbrandlegs]

"It's not so simple, Asriel. I called on them to begin with," Mettaton admits quietly. "I don't know much about Chara, admittedly, so this is...my fault in a way."

Mettaton's voluntary motion switches again to habit, and his hand stays where it's at, rubbing at a spot behind his neck, where he had dented a few segments recently. He's silent for a while, as if he has to think about whether he wants to do this anymore. But really, he's just wondering if this was a farce? Was he just as wrong as Chara painted him? Yeah...more than likely.

"Chara has never liked me. This I know. They are entitled to such, I suppose. When I spoke to them about the Outpost, for a moment, I thought...they might have understood. They sounded as if they understood why I didn't want them to make light--but then I suppose I ruined it, by ascribing motives to them, about you two no less. I thought they would find some fault in you for this affair.

Stupid, really. Haha. They love you. They forgive those they care about."

Mettaton draws in a deep, rattling breath before continuing.

"Given the way our last conversation ended, I assumed that we would not be speaking again.

I was wrong, of course, as I'm taken to being. They initiated contact when I polled the network, and...mmh."

He hesitates again. He doesn't want to talk about this, and it's clear. Still though, he forces it all out, his speech quickening as he tries to force it all out, like he's vomiting the words and hoping he'll feel better later.

"It was meant to be in good fun, but they had to come in and make it hurt and nowadays, I just--I can't take it anymore!! They told me that you, Frisk, would never blame me for anything I did, but that they would. They told me that you both would forgive me, but that you're wrong for doing so..."

Perhaps Asriel can forgive someone who has shown about as much regard for the life of a human child as he does the key he threw in the garbage.

"They didn't have to say the things that they did...not the things I already know..."

[pleasereset]

Chara didn't seem to care much for Mettaton, that much was true. At this point, an uneasy truce between them seemed like the best that Asriel could hope for, but Asriel didn't know they talked to each other much since the last time Mettaton came to him about Chara.

Mettaton mentions talking to Chara about the Outpost, and it made sense - Chara didn't know why Mettaton kept rubbing his neck so often. Asriel did, and there was no way to bring something up like that easily. But Mettaton goes on to mention him and Frisk, and his stomach turns a little.

Mettaton... didn't tell them, did he? Where Asriel spent a good portion of last July? No... no, he wouldn't. Chara wouldn't know. They wouldn't know what happened to their poor excuse for a brother.

Whatever had happened in their conversations, it apparently was a lot worse than Asriel had realized. Enough to make Mettaton want to cut contact with them, and enough that it was making Chara angry. He gives Frisk a quick "what do we do?" look, before trying to find his voice again.

"I... I didn't realize things had gotten so bad between the two of you."

[gainedlove]

Frisk doesn't return Asriel's glance, their mind already spinning far out of control. Wouldn't blame him...?

That...wasn't that the point? They only did it because...

Because they...

* You call out for help.
* But nobody came.

Blink. Focus. That isn't here. It's not now.

"You..." It takes a moment before Frisk's focus has truly returned, and their brows furrow together. "Chara...they. They hold ont' th' bad stuff a lot. They don't...they don't wanna give people chances." Because they've been hurt, burned too many times in ways even Frisk hasn't really known. They could say that, but...they won't. It's not fair.

"It's...'m sorry."

How do they fix this? Understanding won't change anything. Not with how things stand.

[mttbrandlegs]

"...Please, don't apologize. None of this is your fault."

He's been trying to tell Frisk that for months and months, but Mettaton...always seems to ruin it. Somehow, he makes it all go to hell because he knows--knows--he's not good. He hasn't been good ever since the day that he'd left home.

His arms wrap around his body loosely, and he continues. Words that should be sarcastic, perhaps even a little biting? Well, he couldn't put that much effort into them.

"Did you see my broken window? Chara did that. They care about you enough, darlings, to tell me that I'd upset you. But not enough to care as to why I did what I did. I suppose I'll need to make peace with that."

Even if he can't. Even if it weighs on him like a ton of bricks.

"They came here to tell me. That's the point, right?" he adds, and there's an undertone of bitterness there that he can't push away, much as he wishes he could. "They are never going to accept the blame for what they've done so..."

He shakes his head.

"Please...just be honest. If you can forgive me, I will be happy. But if you cannot, then I understand. But it was time you knew anyway, that Chara..I can't take it anymore. I can't take them anymore, to think that I don't know what I am, what I did, and what I could become?! I know--you know! We all know!!

I know what I did, I know how I hurt others!! No one...thinks I regret it, do they? Haha...

Look. I'm being selfish again, aren't I?"

Even this...is about him.