thisavrou_log | Did we light too many matches? [ OPEN ]

Entry tags:

Did we light too many matches? [ OPEN ]

Who: Adrien & Open
When: Jan 1 - 24, various prompts
Where: Mostly Floor One and outside the complex but I can do starters anywhere
What: It's been a very long couple of months
Warnings: Adrien's mental stability took a hard blow as a result of all that's been going on and then the slaughter on the second floor and then the disappointing news on fourth floor. As such his head is a basket of wet cats that could touch on suicide, genocide, murder and other dark topics.

A – Did we take too many chances | OTA [Jan 3 – 24]
[ Though there was no real need to set up the whole medical tent at this point, not to mention a lack of room, Adrien shifted standard first aid, immediate care and some surgical equipment out of the pacdisc and into a couple of crates.

He’d secured a spot, out of the way and on the first floor for the crates and one cot, just in case there were still some left over issues that people needed addressed. Otherwise … well the crew was better off than the poor fucks down on the second floor now, weren’t they?

(ooc: For any medical CR needs you might want/have. ]

B – "The fight is all we know" | Closed to close CR

[ Not far from where the little medical station was established, on the first floor, Adrien had set up his personal tent, tucked into as solitary a corner as he could manage. As was usually the case with the doctor, he didn’t spend much time there, only returning to grab a couple hours of sleep here and there.

At least until the discovery was made on the 2nd floor.

Adrien had gone down there, picking carefully through the carnage and the bodies as the crew had swept the area. All the bodies down there had been well beyond his skills and the stench was one that … didn’t leave a person quickly. Though the doctor had been stone faced and appeared unmoved by the death, he had also been decidedly more quiet than usual, when eventually surfacing back up to the first floor.

In the days to come, Adrien disappeared for long periods of time, returning the house just outside the inner gate to stand under the cold water until the shivering was so violent he feared for his teeth, even as he scrubbed his skin raw. Sometimes he’d go, shower, come back and within a half hour of being on just the first floor, he’d head back out for another shower.

Courser kept very close to the doctor during this period, the normally gregarious bahari focused on no one else, seemingly glued to Adrien’s left leg.

For close to four days, the doctor discreetly avoided sleep. The third floor had been discovered, with its distraction of audio files and then the fourth floor with its residents. In the beginning, at least, Adrien stayed back, letting those with genuine diplomatic skills take the lead in talking.

But as the fifth day drew to a close, and he realized he’s just read the same sentence for the sixth time in half an hour, Adrien accepted that he could no longer avoid sleep. Crawling into his tent, he only meant to grab a quick nap, a couple hours at most, but the body was fickle thing and as soon as he closed his eyes he fell into a deep, exhausted sort of sleep.

A sleep that lasted long enough for the subconscious to stir from behind its cage walls, whispering a siren song that coaxed all the darkness, held at bay by the conscious mind, to come out and play. A sleep that lasted long enough for the nightmares to sink into night terrors, for the horrors of a crying planet, playing children, wise and knowing eyes, and so much more that lead to the absolutely worst sound of all:

Silence.

It was the silence of a planet, once singing with life, snuffed out in a blink that set Adrien to screaming in his own mind, desperate for the sound of life. Unfortunately it also set him to screaming in the night as the night terror thrashed him ruthlessly in its grip. Courser, sleeping close by, jumped and tried to pull him to consciousness, going so far as to sink his teeth down into the doctor’s shoulder and dragging him. The motion triggered reflexes that were tied to pure instinct and Adrien snatched up the handgun he always kept close.

The screaming stopped as he rolled clear of the tent but as he sprang into a sitting position, the gun held in both hands pointing at threats he could see so clearly in his mind’s eye, it might be safe to assume that Adrien wasn’t fully conscious. Courser likewise had surfaced from the tent the bahari’s posture one of a low, predatory caution, tail stretched out and lashing back and forth as he simultaneously tried to get to his panicked companion and protect him at the same time.

(OOC: Reasons why Adrien doesn’t sleep. Please PM this journal or pPlurk me at

laekhund to discuss responding to this prompt.) ]

C – "There's no way to go, no way to go" | OTA

[ Giving up on the whole sleeping thing, Adrien spent much of his down time pouring over the audio files. He’d carefully transposed each one into one of his sketchbooks and could often be found sitting on the floor, his back against a wall as he read the words over and over.

Ploiatos was obvious and the Bio-Nav mentioned, he was going to assume that was Mana. The Ingress Energy was the common thread and an obvious conflict with how Ploiatos was approaching it. Given what they knew of Ploiatos now, it was all too easy to take this account and blame Ploiatos for his meddling. But Adrien could often be seen frowning as he tapped the sketchbook with his pencil. ]

Why do I get the sense it’s not that black or white? [ He spoke and perhaps he was talking to the bahari who lay close but his voice was loud enough to carry to anyone else walking by. ]

D – "But straight through the smoke, straight through the smoke" | OTA

[ To those who knew him, the doctor might have been noticeably more quiet than usual; yes even for him. As discussions were had and the decision was made to move forward with re-booting the Ingress, he was a watchful but otherwise silent presence.

Now as the work continued down in the complex below, Adrien was up topside, just outside the doors of the Inner Gate, looking out across the desolate landscape. Courser stood beside him, on his left side, the bahari a silent presence, though he could be seen leaning against the doctor’s left leg.

Adrien himself was silent, a shadow that could easily be ignored by those with else on their minds. His right hand was closed loosely around the grip of his handgun, thumb flicking the safety on and off in a steady, almost pensive gesture.

(OOC: Warning, he’s in a philosophical and slightly fatalistic mindset here, so threads could take a dark turn onto the subjects of suicide, genocide, murder … etc. Please note in your comment if you’re okay with this or would rather stay away from any of those subjects. ) ]

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[Discussions aren't Rinzler's function. Neither is repair. He's spent his share of time glowering at their new "allies" from a corner, and eventually decided his time is better spent scanning for threats. Maybe they'll get lucky.

Still, of all the others he'd expected to find watching... well, Adrien hadn't topped the list. Considering his chosen function, Rinzler would have thought the user would fit in just fine below. He approaches quietly enough, stopping just before the threshold of the door—though the ticking, constant rumble should be notice of his presence. If Adrien (or Courser) looks back, Rinzler's mask tips down to the gun before inclining curiously.

Is there a target?]

[ Adrien was starting to recognize the distinct, mechanical ticks and hums that came off Rinzler but Courser would almost always sense the program's presence first and foremost.

The bahari turned his head, watching the otherwise silent approach with a calm steadiness that suggested he was not seeing Rinzler as a threat assessment; for the moment at least. His colorful, barbed tail swept out in a graceful wave before it folded back over his paws.

The motion was enough to alert Adrien to the additional presence, and the doctor glanced back over his shoulder. He didn't immediately understand the curious tip of Rinzler's mask but he did offer a greeting. ]

Hello, Rinzler. Making the rounds?

[ His voice was calm, despite the flicking of the safety on the weapon, so perhaps that would be enough to answer the question about an immediate threat? ]

[Acknowledgement. No threat. Rinzler accepts Courser's answer with a tip of his helmet before glancing back to the user. There's a moment's hesitation before he shrugs, inclining his head. He hadn't considered it a patrol, but he might as well be.

The fidgeting still seems odd, but if the user's standing guard himself, it's not so strange he'd have a weapon in his hand. Still... Rinzler reaches for his TAB.]

Status?

[ Adrien expected the communication to come across the TAB, perhaps in the way J had communicated back when she hadn't had her voice. So it came as a bit of a surprise when, instead, the message flashed up in a projection between them.

Huh ... that was different. Sliding his own TAB back in his pocket, he responded verbally. ]

Seems quiet. I haven't seen any movement, outside other members of the crew, out here.

[ He's assuming Rinzler was asking for a status update for the area, not a personal status update on Adrien himself. ]

Were you down below?

Edited 2017-01-29 18:17 (UTC)

[Not having qualified the question, Rinzler doesn't object to the output he receives. It's useful data either way.

The enforcer nods.]

Repair underway.

[The line appears under the first one, text prompt scrolling slightly to keep up. Rinzler hesitates, then adds a third.]

Not assisting?

Keeping out of the way. [ Adrien explained. ] Stark and his team can get the work done.

[ Though his tone is quiet, it's filled with complete faith in those individuals he just named. ]

[It's a simple enough explanation on the face of it... but there's a slight uptick to Rinzler's noise. The helmet tips down towards the gun before pointedly angling to the side. It's a complex retort to express with just nonverbals, and whether Adrien will understand is anyone's guess.

But if he's not down there because he's confident in the repair utilities... and has instead decided to come up here with a gun...

...well, that implies a slightly different opinion of the local combat functions.

Say, the one in front of him.]

[ Adrien would never give up insisting that he had the communication skills of a dead rock.

Particularly where words were involved.

But in some odd stroke of, oddness, he did seem to have a knack for reading between the lines and non-verbal cues. Perhaps it was because he spent so much of his time putting off his own, it made it easier to interact with the same in others.

Perhaps that was part of why things had gone to shit when J could actually talk again, but with Rinzler -even from when the program was a kitten- it had come easier.

Following the upwards tick of soft whirs, the downward tip of the helmet and the context of the conversation that came before, Adrien was able to connect the dots. He was standing up here, gun drawn, though he himself had just admitted there was no threat and he wasn't down below helping because he expressed faith in the ability of his crew mates to fix the damage.

So what conclusions did that leave?

The doctor rolled his eyes and set the safety on his gun, holstering the weapon and then holding his hands up in a soft sort of yield, before admitting. ]

I've got a few things on my mind, and it's a little claustrophobic down below.

[ Or in other words, without something to keep his mind occupied, he felt too penned in by his own thoughts. The landscape was desolate out here but at least the view of the night sky allowed him to keep some things in perspective. ]

[It's always a nice surprise to find a user who's not stupid. The skipping beats of Rinzler's sound quicken slightly, a quiet, irregular interval of amusement. Shoulders twitch a little, wordless reply to the wordless concession. Your parameters, user.

The verbal data is more vague, but less closed than before—and it lacks the edge that might imply dismissal. The enforcer's mask slants slightly, curious, as he types out a new line.]

Savrii?

[ Adrien watched the word pop up, the question inherent within and he gave his head a slight shake. ]

They're a consideration of course. [ He answered, looking back out across the barren landscape. ] But they don't seem to gain much from inviting us back, if their ultimate plan was to destroy us. Be easier to just leave us here.

[ True, it wasn't a particularly comforting thought and Adrien couldn't claim to have blind trust in these Savrii, but he didn't really trust anyone, so he probably wasn't the best benchmark. ]

Just ... [ he began, paused and then quietly admitted. ] I'd hoped this was the way for me to get back where I need to be. I don't suppose there is any real rush, that war has been going on for centuries, from what I can tell.

But after losing that year on the planet -with the parties?- It's hard not to feel a little disappointed that this was a dead end.

[ Adrien paused, chuffed and finally glanced back with a rueful expression. ]

Also, I can't say I've ever done well planetside for extended periods of time. I'm fairly certain my sister was ready to launch me into space herself, the last time.

[The enforcer's frame draws inwards, half shrug and half tic of irritation. The logic is straightforward enough, but he can't say he agrees. As the former Transporter Supervisor and current possessor of a small fleet of spacecraft, Rinzler's fairly sure they could escape without help. He's also sure the savrii couldn't. They're being used, not assisted.

It's a familiar feeling.

Still, that wasn't the user's concern. And without a solution, Rinzler doesn't feel much need to make it one. Instead, he listens. Frustration is easy to parse, and if Rinzler's anger is more at the destruction of their system than its failed purpose, the admins have been unacceptably incompetent in both regards. But a few terms stand out. War. Centuries. Where I need to be.

He hesitates a moment. It's not his data. Not his business. But there's nothing stopping the user from saying so, if he doesn't want to speak. The black helmet raises, tipping up to indicate Adrien.]

Not going home.

[Not now. Not when they find a working portal. Why?]

[ It was true, Adrien did have something of a blind spot when it came to the idea of individual ships and the fact that there was always the option to leave. Nico had done so, with Tali and it would stand to reason that it made an impression on Adrien. But the truth was, outside being genuinely happy for them to make their escape, Adrien hadn't ever considered it a viable solution for his own circumstances.

As the soft noises came from Rinzler, Adrien glanced back and watched the program work. The little ticks and whirs, the way the helmet would lift, lower or tilt. Even just the length of the pause between words.

When the three words flitted across the screen, the doctor took them as a question -as well as a statement- and he nodded. ]

Not back to the world of my birth. [ He clarified. ] I lost my way back there, but I found my purpose in where I went. [ If that even made sense. ]

It may be brutal, dangerous and heart-breaking to return to, but it's where I ... can hopefully right some very big wrongs.

[To Rinzler, that makes more sense than most things. He couldn't go back to where he was compiled either. He wouldn't fit. And if he was taken more than lost, warped and changed and pared away instead of finding anything himself... he's not a user.

He wouldn't expect things to work the same.]

Purpose?

[Rinzler doesn't quite tell Adrien to clarify, but it's not too hard to read. The angle of his mask stays sharp and focused, and the line comes quickly, with no lag. Plans and sentiment might fall outside Rinzler's purview, but purpose—function—is important. He wants to know what this user chose.]

[ Would it be odd to learn, though he was a 'user' by Rinzler's definition of the word, sentiment and sentimentality were not often emotional factors in Adrien's decision making process? Probably he should have a better interface with his own emotions but that really was a work in progress.

As for the question. The speed at which it comes is telling, so might be the hesitation in Adrien's response. He wasn't used to talking about this so openly and even now, he chose his words carefully.

Because it was hard to answer the question without going into what amount to way too much detail for most individuals. ]

There is a threat, in the universe I came from, not only to the infinite worlds of that universe but across dimensions, so broad is their reach.

I'm going to ... [ he stopped, tilting his head and amended. ] I intend to join with those who are trying to stop them, when I get back. But it's a long process and my contribution is one small piece in the whole. [ Again he stopped and this time, one corner of his mouth lifted in what could only be called a sorrowful frown. ]

Honestly, I don't know that we have a much of a chance, how do you bring down gods? But I know what they do, what they've made me do, what they will make me do, needs to be stopped.

[Rinzler notes the beat of hesitation. He registers the switched out term, the careful selection, and the frown. But for a change? The content of the speech draws much more attention.

Creatures whose reach spans systems worth of systems. Who can threaten worlds and control their occupants. Gods? Oh, this is funny. Rinzler's heard users speak that term in the abstract, but this reference is much more concrete. More familiar. He shakes his head, sound catching with a beat just a little too harsh for amusement.]

Didn't know users had users.

Mmm you'd be surprised.

[ Adrien's tone was dry as the dust under their feet. ]

Have you heard the saying 'absolute power, corrupts absolutely'? [ He offered for a moment, giving Rinzler the chance to absorb it, before he continued. ]

This ... entity, is so vast and so powerful. They [ Adrien began, tilted his head and after a moment, amended. ] we, take out entire planets. The ship I served on, destroyed two and a half if you count an artificial asteroid, in the time before I came to the Moira.

I could give you all manner of excuses for why the crew is made to do this; our own planets are forfeit if we refuse, the lives of our friends and loved ones are forfeit if we refuse, it's a long list. [ And in Adrien's mind a self serving one, which he won't bother to rail against. ] They hows and whys aren't important. Not here. Only that I mean to go back, and for as long as I can survive it, I will do everything in my ability to end it.

[ Even if it really was a situation of a mouse vs lion. ]

I shouldn't have survived this long anyway.

[He hasn't heard that phrase. It calls a fragment of a memory (gold lights and gold words, "you've been corrupted" as the gap between them shrinks—) but Rinzler rides out the catch of error without twitching; he's accustomed to much more and worse. Besides, the saying doesn't make much sense. Those with power are always the ones to set the definitions, for corruption or any other state.

Not that the description sounds particularly different. Clu's enforcer doesn't question the reasons for the destroyed systems, or what might have made Adrien comply. Whys are never important. The only difference, as usual, is that something else is. Rinzler doesn't look back to compound behind them, or the dozens of slagged systems (worlds) the savrii's passage left behind. He doesn't need to. They never mattered to anyone, and the programs that ran in them counted even less.

Noise ticks out quietly for a long moment, though, before the program finally types out a new line.]

Why did you?

[Whys aren't important. It's a joke, except it's not.]

Why did I ... [ He began to question the question before stopping and walking it back. ]

Why did I survive?

[ It's an assumption, that this is the question Rinzler means, it is still hard to read a helmet. Though Adrien has more experience reading helmets then he should probably posses. ]

I honestly don't know. Some would say good luck, others would say bad luck so I suppose it depends upon how you want to look at it.

[The nod should be a little easier to read. Adrien's answer still isn't quite what Rinzler had been asking... but the enforcer's not going to press.

At least, not along that vector. The mask tips up again—you—before angling to the side.

What was his assessment?]

[ It took him a moment to sort out the unspoken question and a moment beyond that before he offered his honest answer. ]

I'd have traded places with my sister in a heartbeat.

[ Not a particularly logical sentiment but it was one he knew in his heart was true. Then, a moment later, the smallest hint of a smile touched the doctor's lips. A mischievous little expression, it served to highlight the tiredness in his eyes. ]

She would have cooed over you and would have insisted on giving you pets and possibly a little bow around your neck.

[ You know. Back when you were an adorable kitten? ]

[Rinzler's first reaction is to stare. Not an answer. When he makes the connection to why it might be... well, there's a slightly different sort of lag.

Which is promptly interrupted by a glower at the followup. Rinzler shakes his head, sound modulating in a vaguely scathing scrape as he turns his glare toward empty space. Not a pet, user. Not then, and not ever.]

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Did we light too many matches? [ OPEN ]

D, okay with any topics!

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