Suddenly I'm overcome

[inruins]

Who: Toriel, Ratchet, Frisk, Sans- Open.
When: April 9th-12th
Where: The Aft, a hallway, library.
What: Toriel learns something that changes how she views a key moment of her past. The boss monster decides she needs time to process this. She decides to process it alone until her friends step in to help her.
Warnings: Depression, emotional breakdowns, talk of suicide. HUGE Undertale spoilers.



[A. Like the stars chase the sun - CLOSED to Ratchet]
After a short exchange on the MID, Toriel meets Ratchet near the mess hall. Uncertainty is settled in her chest though she manages a smile when she catches sight of the lombax waiting for her.

"Hello, Ratchet! I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long." He had wanted to tell her something, now Toriel almost wondered if she should know.

But if it is about Chara, she needs to know. Hearsay is all she has left of her connection with her child.


[B. And my love is no good- OPEN]

The library is quiet enough Toriel finds herself drawn into it. The possibility of learning or being lost in some new world is far more enticing than what weighs on her mind. A relief from the possibilities she keeps falling into.

It's why she finds herself amongst the shelves and stacks. This is far more books than she has seen in years. She plucks books at random, building up a bit more than she can handle carrying all at once. Her haphazard stacking proves a bit dangerous as she stumbles and the books fly from her grip. Anyone passing by might be hit by a book or find one at their feet. Along with a very large goat monster fallen on the floor, looking aghast at herself.

A low swear escapes her as she fumbles to rise, "I'm so sorry-" She apologizes, an embarrassed flush settling under her fur. "I really didn't- Ah, forgive me."

Everything is coming out wrong and there is not much she can do about it. She plucks up what she can as she finds her footing once again. It is obvious enough in her body language and expression, she's taking a simple mistake much harder than she should.


[C. The damage is already done - CLOSED to close CR.]

Grief is a funny thing. Even when one thinks they know how they'll react to something, they can quickly realize how wrong they were. Toriel is no different on that.

Doing her job is easy enough, checking on her various wards and making sure they're well is comfortable enough to distract her. Kitchen duties offer the same distraction, the same busied work where her mind can't do much but focus on the task she was given. Losing herself in a task is a relief. A way to pretend nothing is wrong. She can fake being social well enough on the surface level, to hide what she's really thinking. No one needs to deal with this but her.

When she has nothing to do, her mind wanders. It makes sleeping nearly impossible. The boss monster's various attempts at sleeping in her quarters prove fruitless at best, frustrating at worst. Before long she finds herself at the aft. Pillow and blanket in hand as she settles down in the cold hallway. The chill against her back is calming, centering in its own way. Even if the floor is hardly comfortable, it is better than trying to rest in her bunk.

Not that the cold can stop her mind from running through everything. Staring out at the stars can only do so much for her.

Buttercup poisoning. Who could have poisoned her child? She monitored their food so stringently. No one but the royal family handled their own food. Toriel mentally rolled over those days, picking apart everything she could trying to find some sinister menace she somehow never noticed. Some terrible force that hurt her child. A warning sign she somehow missed.

The only warning sign that rises is Chara's own words. She remembered that soft voice, that gentle hand on her own. Their red eyes looking up at her as they spoke.

"It's okay, mom. It' okay... You're all going to be fine."

A chill made her stomach twist uncomfortably. Her hand tightened into a fist at her side. She must be remembering wrong...

"Of course I'm getting better. Everyone's depending on me. The future of humans and monsters..." Their thready voice firmed with determination. "I promise I won't let you down."

Tears rise before she can contain them, her breath catching in her throat as she covers her eyes with her hand. She rejects the thought soundly. Chara would never...

Chara knew better. Chara had to know better. Know they were important to their family. They would have poisoned themselves...?

But who else would? Was a sharp question that buried itself in her heart.

Wounds she considered mended and healed over were being ripped open, stitches torn asunder and exposed. What did she really know of that time?

Anyone who visits the Aft within the next few days will very likely find Toriel laying on her side staring out at the stars.

Comments

C

[gainedlove]

It's chance that draws Frisk to the aft this night, a bad dream and a need to be alone while they sort out their thoughts. Ever since that first day Frisk has been cautious about where they go on their excursions to get supplies, but even that has had it's risks, and the secrets exposed have left them feeling rattled and vulnerable.

Maybe it was inevitable that someone would find out. There are other determined people here, other people that have let time flow back with their last breath. But Frisk just wasn't ready...

They stop in surprise seeing Toriel's familiar fuzzy bulk curled up against the wall, and they pause for a moment before walking over with soft footsteps. "...Mom?"

[inruins]

What light doze Toriel fell into ends just as quickly at the familiar voice. She blinks blearily as she sits up, "Frisk?" She shouldn't be so surprised someone found her here. Much less one of her own children, all of them have the tendency to wander as they see fit.

"My child, what are you doing up at this hour?" She isn't going to address the fact she's sleeping in the aft if she can manage it. "You should be sleeping."

[gainedlove]

"...I can't sleep." Frisk walks over and climbs into Toriel's lap without a second thought, and they lean against her chest with a soft huff of breath. "Why aren't you?"

[inruins]

The boss monster simply wraps her arms around Frisk, resting her chin atop their head. Toriel finds it hard not to relax with Frisk in her arms. A quiet conformation the human child still wants her as their parent. "I thought it would be nice to sleep here for now."

It wasn't a lie. Simply an omission of a few other factors as to why she chose the aft over her own bed. "You should get some sleep if you can." She hesitates, "I would offer to let you sleep here, but I don't think it would be quite comfortable enough for you to relax."

[gainedlove]

Frisk has caught their mother sleeping in odd places like this a few times before, and while they hadn't thought anything of it before the circumstances are making Frisk reconsider that.

"'S comfy if it's with you," comes the quiet murmur, and Frisk snuggles a little bit closer against Toriel. They remain quiet for a few long moments, debating with themself before quietly speaking up again. "...did you have a bad dream, too?"

B

[pleasereset]

One of the books ends up landing on a much smaller figure, followed by a startled yelp. Despite wearing the book like a hat, Asriel has much more pressing concerns about seeing his mom lose her footing.

"Mom, are you okay?!"

B

[inruins]

The fact the book landed on her child at all feels like another blow to the boss monster. "I'm fine, dear- goodness, I should be asking you that."

"Did it hurt you?" She's moving to get up, more worried about her child than her own embarrassment over falling now.

[pleasereset]

Asriel moves first, trying to offer a hand - anything really - to help Toriel up. At her question, he quickly shakes his head. Surprisingly, the book still stays remains in place.

"No, no, I'm fine! I didn't even feel it."

He's more worried for her. Compared to her fall, one little book on his head was nothing.

"Do you need help?"

[inruins]

"Still. I'll always worry about you." The boss monster accepts her son's outstretched hand, relying more on her own strength to get up opposed to the younger monster's own. "Thank you."

When she is on her feet, she reaches out to pick the book off of her son's head.

B.

[devilofohara]

Robin is in the library at the same time as Toriel. Growing up on Ohara, one of her only refuges had been the Tree of Knowledge - a massive library, one of the largest accumulations of knowledge on her entire planet, almost larger than the Moira in its entirety. With a childhood like that, it's basically a given that she spends a lot of time in the ship's library - even if she spends a lot of that time carefully avoiding the head librarian.

All that being said, it doesn't exactly take much for her to notice the goatwoman's spill. Robin, fortunately, wasn't hit by any of the falling books - instead, one just tumbles to the ground near her foot. It doesn't take long for her to react, though.

"It's alright," she says as she lightly gestures, first at Toriel and then at the books on the ground. The Boss Monster will immediately feel herself being pushed upward, back onto her feet by dozens upon dozens of child-sized arms growing out of the ground and out of each other. Once the woman is on her feet, the arms vanish as though they had never existed in the first place.

"Are you okay?"

[inruins]

The feeling of many, many small hands sends a uncomfortable feeling rolling through the boss monster. Her fur bristling up and standing on end. She only had a glimpse of the hands pushing her up and it's enough for her to get a rough idea they belong to Robin somehow.

"Yes." She manages trying to brush her hands over her fur to smooth it back down. "Thank you for your help dear, my apologies for interrupting your reading like this."

[devilofohara]

"It's fine," she says, seemingly indifferent to the expended effort. Toriel's discomfort isn't an uncommon (or unreasonable) reaction to the girl's powers - Robin's just relieved that she didn't scream or call her names for it or anything.

She glances down at the books spilled onto the floor. She glances down at the books on the floor. A quick wave of her hand, and then several more sets of arms bloom out from the floor and begin picking them up, carefully closing them and stacking them in a neat pile - she grew up around books, so she understands how important to keep pages from getting bent or torn like that.

"I was just about to take these back to my room anyway - you didn't interrupt much." A pause. "Did you need help carrying these?"

[inruins]

Seeing the arms more clearly in action makes it considerably less odd for Toriel. At most she looks curious before shakes it offer to give the young girl an appreciative smile. It lacks her usual energy, but Toriel can fake her usual energy enough to dissuade any from prodding.

Toriel hesitates before speaking, deciding to accept Robin's offer. "Help would be appreciated. If you have the time. I know you want to enjoy your books as well, dear."

Ayyy

[neveroutwrenched]

"Nope. Just got here." A little bit of an exaggeration. Pushing away from the wall he was leaning against, Ratchet starts to give her a half-hearted smile before finding he can't really convince himself to do even that. It doesn't seem like the time or place for smiling, not with what he's about to ask her.

"I hope it's not a bad time...I just..." He shrugs, arms crossed, not sure how to finish that sentence. "I guess any time would be a bad time."

[inruins]

The boss monster simply reaches out to rest her hand on his shoulder, offering the lombax a encouraging squeezing. "Don't worry about this. I can tell what you want to tell me is important."

Her own smile is on the encouraging side, be it fading to something uncertain as she regards the lombax. "Walk with me and we'll talk."

[neveroutwrenched]

“Okay.” Ratchet nods, responding to the encouragement, even if he feels he’s the one who owes her. Or at least he’s about to. His feet feel heavy as they start down the corridor, but she's glad she asked to walk; it somehow feels easier to talk this way. “You’ve been over to the the station?”

[inruins]

"I have." She answers with a nod as they walk together side by side. His question gives her a rough idea of what he might say, but she holds back wanting to actually hear him out than assume. "Only twice so far, mostly for salvaging what we might need for the ship."

"Chara hasn't done anything in the station have they-?"

B

[mttbrandlegs]

Still getting used to his job and the technical aspects that he still doesn't quite understand, Mettaton has been spending lots of time in the library during his free time. Sure, the offer of practical lessons was helpful and he did learn better that way...but a bit of reading on the subject couldn't hurt.

Furthermore, he was interested in leafing through a few books on space, space travel, and what he could expect while he was stuck here.

It was as the robot was making his way back to a table with a book on cybernetic prostheses that he crossed Toriel's path, just as her book tower falters.

"Oh--!" he exclaims as one of the books smacks against his shoulder. He catches it before it falls, though he can't exactly say he was quick enough to do the same for the boss monster.

"Darling, don't worry about me," he said kneeling and reaching out for Toriel's scattered books, or at least the ones she didn't get herself before standing. "Are you alright? That was quite the tumble you took."

Mettaton doesn't immediately relinquish the books, as that would only cause the same precarious situation as before. If anything, he'd be happy to help her bring them to whatever table she's sitting at. It would be the smart thing to do, and he's more than happy to offer assistance.

...Plus there's something about the monster that he finds strange. He's hardly the best judge of character concerning Toriel, but she normally carries herself with a tad more poise than this. It's strange to see her so flustered, even in his limited experience.

[inruins]

"Ah- I'm fine." She reassures gently back, embarrassment leaving a flush across her cheeks. It makes Toriel glad enough her fur covers it up. Heavy fur has its advantages so it seems. "I simply lost my footing." She amends in turn, dusting herself off now that she's standing.

"Thank you for gathering those up, I suppose I loaded myself up a bit too much..." With Mettaton she can at least fake feeling better than she is. They don't quite know each other all that well, it makes things simplier.

[mttbrandlegs]

"Of course, dear," he says lightly, in answer to her gratitude. "Please, let me help you carry them. In fact, I insist! We don't want anything like that to happen again, right?"

Mettaton is aware that he doesn't really know Toriel as well as he should. While he's not much for making friends and treating them right, he probably ought to put his best foot forward starting now. A celebrity with no fans ought to make the best of his situation and familiarize himself with a fellow monster.

Beside which, he would like to do more than kidnap her child for shenanigans.

"What subject has you so enthralled as to borrow half the library?" he asks conversationally. "It must be a good read!!"

[inruins]

She seems a bit surprised but doesn't mind the help. Toriel had taken a bit more than she could carry in this harried state. "Ah- if you insist, certainly. You can set them at any table really..."

The boss monster shifts gears, hoping to find better footing for this conversation. With how little they know of each other, she can at least avoid as much concern.

"Really, I was just plucking at whatever looked interesting. It has been a very long time since I've been around this many books." She offers Mettaton a slight smile.

After Ratchet's Phone Call

[skelepun]

Recent awkwardness aside, the benefit of knowing someone pretty well means being able to find them with relative ease. Add the gift of teleportation to the mix, and the trial and error part of searching for someone gets cut down by half.

As such, it takes Sans only ten minutes of searching (her room, the kitchens, the gardens) until he finally finds Toriel. Poised at the door, Sans quietly kicks himself for not checking here first.

They're monsters, after all. In times of hardship, every monster takes solace in wishing on stars.

"Tori?"

[inruins]

"Sans?" Is the answer he gets in return, what attempts she had been taking at sleeping having gone nowhere. At this point she's foregone her pillow and blanket, balling them up in frustration and tossed them against a wall. The result of that lay a few feet next to her.

"Are you alright?" She questions tiredly as she sits up from where she lay. "Have you gotten any rest?" The question is more than a little ironic considering how rumpled and worn out she seems in the moment. The aft does not bode well for rest.

[skelepun]

"Kinda the pot calling the kettle black there, T." Sans points out, raising a brow bone. "You look like you've been sleeping on the Hotland conveyor belts."

Not exactly the greeting he intended when he came out here, but her appearance is too much of a surprise to keep himself on script.

"Ratchet called me... can I sit down?"

[inruins]

"I've slept better, but I've slept much worse than this." She offers dryly back, though she doesn't seem particularly bothered by Sans calling her out on this. She has to admit she is too tired to brush it off.

"...I see." Now she has to wonder what the young man told Sans. She lurches back to lay on the floor. It isn't polite, but... she doubts Sans cares about politeness. "If you wish."