[locked] Heart of glass

[notpatsy]

Who: Trish Walker and Bruce Banner
When: After Trish wakes up from cryo
Where: Science department
What: Trish is really upset to wake up and finding that everything is on fire. Figuratively speaking.
Warnings: Will add if necessary



The rational part of Trish is very well aware of the fact that everything being a giant clusterfuck has absolutely nothing to do with her going into cryo, but there are a few other parts that somehow managed to make her feel guilty about the whole thing all the same, as if somehow she could have stopped it all if she had only been around.

And then there is of course just the giant gut punch that is knowing that Bruce was going to leave her. Sure, he might consider it a noble sacrifice but she really isn't in the mood for seeing it that way at the moment. Not after spending hours watching a cryo tank hoping for him to wake up. Not after being torn from sleep by a sudden need to check that he is still breathing because actually he might not be, she could be snuggled up to a corpse because he died and what if coming back is just some sort of cruel cosmic joke and the punch line is that one day the man she loves is going to be cold and dead with absolutely no explanation given.

Her chest is tight with panic and fear and misplaced guilt, and she hates all of it which means it all transforms into anger, and since that anger has to go somewhere she is currently absolutely furious with Bruce.

Talking to Tony was sort of keeping her grounded, but now she is alone with her thoughts and none of them are pretty.

Their room has been turned to glass, of all fucking things, which in all honesty feels like a too damn suitable metaphor for the state of her relationship. This is what you get for loving heroes. You would've thought that she'd learned that by now. Some lessons just can't seem to stick, apparently.

She spots a piece of paper on one of the bedside tables, and she picks it up, even though she is already quite certain that whatever is written there is not going to help her calm down before she goes to see Bruce.

Comments

[notpatsy]

He really needs to stop being so hard to get mad at. It's so tempting to just melt into his loving kisses and the warmth of his embrace and just let it all go, but she doesn't want to do that. Not really, and him pointing out how lucky he is that she is still around well... that does kind of bring back a little of her anger because she might have woken up to nothing but a letter and pain.

"I was furious with you when I came in here. Just so you know."

[hyperkinesia]

"But you're not anymore?"

Probably shouldn't be getting too cheeky there, Bruce. Because her saying that is more than enough for him to figure out why she was furious, and he's quick to piece things together. As much as he'd like to skip on that particular conversation, he knows he won't be able to, and it may just be for the best that he admits to knowing what she is (or was) mad about.

"It's about what happened with the Caducans, isn't it?"

[notpatsy]

"Oh, I'm still mad. Just not yelling at you mad."

She has simmered down to a 'rational discussion' mad at the moment, and the fact that she is still holding him is probably enough to show him that she isn't really looking for a fight here. She just needs him to know that what he did, what he wanted to do, hurts like hell.

"And yes, it is. Tony told me. And I found your letter."

[hyperkinesia]

Well, that's not so bad, then. At the very least she won't be pulling away from him, which is good because he's not sure he'd manage not to be near her right now. He needs it like he needs air to breathe.

He sighs softly at her answer. crystalline eyelids sliding closed.

"I forgot about that."

And if he'd remembered, he'd have though it had been turned to glass along with the rest of their room. He certainly wouldn't have ventured there just to get it.

He presses his lips thinly, offering in as genuine and remorseful a tone as he can muster.

"I'm sorry."

Sorry he's made her suffer, sorry he ever thought that was a good idea— now he knows there's no way it could've ended well, but grief and worry do tend to cloud one's judgement pretty heavily.

[notpatsy]

She knows he does, and she wouldn't take it away from him. Not because of this.

"You should be. What were you thinking?"

She could probably make a pretty good guess, but she wants to hear it from him anyway. She can tell that he is genuinely remorseful, and that's a good start. She's not going to hold this over his head forever, she just needs to go over this a bit to get rid of the emotional chaos Tony's news and his letter caused.

[hyperkinesia]

"I wasn't, I guess."

Or he was, but with his heart, not his head. Letting feelings get the best of him and making a decision based on his guilt, his fear, his worry. Not the first nor the last time Bruce does something like that— for such a logical person, he can often let his feelings cloud his judgement and affect decisions that should follow reason.

"I wanted to keep people safe. To keep you safe. I just wanted to avoid a whole confrontation to break out and I... it was my fault, alright? If it weren't for me, those people wouldn't have hunted us down to begin with."

[notpatsy]

Trish takes a deep breath, and gives him a kiss on the forehead. At the end of the day, the truth is that she would probably have tried to do the same thing if she were him.

"I get it."

[hyperkinesia]

Bruce sighs quietly, shoulders relaxing, visibly relieved.

"Thank you."

He's been having people berating him for his actions left and right, even if it's stopped as of late, so it's really good to not get that from her too. Refreshing, even, and a relief. He gets it, the point has been made, there's no reason to drill it further into his head, and in all honesty he can't even put to words how glad he is that Trish of all people won't do that.

Pulling her close again, he buries his face in the curve of her neck, sighing audibly.

"Jesus. I'm so happy you're safe, Trish."

[notpatsy]

She's still sort of angry, but she can see it for what it is. It's not really anger, it's fear. Fear of losing him. He was trying to do the right thing to the best of his ability, and she can't really yell at him about that. Not when she herself walked into a swarm of mind-controlled people armed with nothing but a pair of headphones, just to give Jessica an opening.

Besides, he's clearly had a rough enough time without her adding to it. She doesn't want to fight right now, she just wants to be with him.

"I'm in better shape than you are. Does it hurt?"

[hyperkinesia]

For what it's worth, he's glad he didn't go through with it, now that things have been worked out in a way that's much better and far more peaceful, even if some fights had to break out for that to happen. At least like this most of the Caducans survived and were taken elsewhere, while the crew of the Moira remains safe.

Well, safe-ish. The merging of the ships, that Bruce has a feeling they wouldn't have been able to avoid no matter what they did.

"Oh," he lifts a hand to touch the skin around his eyes, pressing his lips and shaking his head. "No. I can't even feel it."

[notpatsy]

"I have this weird urge to touch it."

True romance is wanting to poke your boyfriend's glass eyeball.

[hyperkinesia]

He chuckles a little, hand dropping down to settle on her side. Sure, that's a perfectly normal urge, nothing at all weird or creepy about it.

"Well... you can, if you want to?"

[notpatsy]

If being weird and creepy makes him laugh, she'll take it. She suspect he hasn't had much reason to smile lately.

"I don't know, I'd probably break an eyelash or something and then I'd feel terrible."

[hyperkinesia]

Well, she is his main reason to smile, so there's that. Though Tony has managed to drag a few chuckles out of him.

He reaches for one of her hands, lifting it up to his face and resting her fingertips on his cheek, just where the glass starts.

"Then don't touch the eyelashes. Simple as that."

[notpatsy]

Another reason to love Tony right there, even if it will probably end up being a massive pain in Bruce's butt that she and his best friend get along so well.

"Can you feel anything at all?"

Said as she carefully explores the glass with her fingertips, staying away from his eyes for now and just touching the area around them.

[hyperkinesia]

He shakes his head a little, not so much as flinching while she slides her fingertips across the glass on his face.

"Not really, no." He falls silent, clearly hesitant, but speaking up eventually. "The heart doesn't hurt, either."

[notpatsy]

"Jesus."

Yup, here come the waterworks. She's glad he can't see her cry, though he can probably hear her sniffle.

She moves her hand from his face to put it above his heart instead, wondering if he can feel it tremble.

"Heartbreak has taken on a whole new meaning, huh?"

[hyperkinesia]

He rests a hand over hers, fingers curled around her own, searching her face blindly with his free hand and cupping her cheek, thumb stroking it soothingly. His heart beats calmly in his chest, even though it's made of glass, even though it shouldn't even be able to move or function at all.

He can hear her cry, yes. But he doesn't want her to— there's no reason anyway. He's fine, really.

"That's up to you, I guess... depends on whether or not you're planning on breaking my heart anytime soon."

[notpatsy]

"Never. You've got me for as long as you want me."

Maybe she should have said something more lighthearted there, but he will have to take her very earnest and somewhat teary statement instead.

She's not sure she would describe what has happened to him as "fine", but he is alive and he is himself so yes, things could definitely be a whole lot worse.

[hyperkinesia]

He smiles even though she's crying, moving his other hand up so he's cupping both sides of her face.

"Best thing I've heard in a very long time."

At least a month, which is roughly how long she's been stuck in cryo. but that's not a thought for now— now, he just leans in close and presses a lingering kiss to her lips.

[notpatsy]

She kisses him back, arms snaking around his waist to hold him tightly.

"Watch it, you might get snot on you."

Truly she is the most romantic girlfriend any man could ever wish for.

[hyperkinesia]

He doesn't pull away, nor does he stop kissing her once and again, arms rounding her shoulders and settling on her back.

"It's fine. I can live with a little snot."

[notpatsy]

She returns each and every kiss, hands stroking up and down his back a little.

"How are you feeling though? Really feeling."

Don't just say you're fine, Bruce, because she won't buy it.

[hyperkinesia]

"I'm really... really happy that you're here with me."

And that's definitely the truth. Even if he's not completely fine, he still kind of is, because she's here now. And that makes everything so much better and easier to handle.

/cries about this ship

[notpatsy]

"I'm really happy that I'm here too."

She will do everything in her power to help him with what he's going through. Knowing her she'll probably do a bit too much, even.