big daddy meat (
camouflage) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-05-03 09:24 pm
Entry tags:
(catch-all) lowlife, yo life, boy we livin it up
Who: big boss, multiple
When: all of may
Where: oh the places you'll go
What:
thread 1: have you ever just wanted to embarrass the shit out of someone
thread 2: jim and john's excellent adventure
thread 3: 1000 ways to die in wwii
Warnings:
thread 1: none
thread 2: general wwii warnings
thread 3: general wwii warnings, including period racisim
When: all of may
Where: oh the places you'll go
What:
thread 1: have you ever just wanted to embarrass the shit out of someone
thread 2: jim and john's excellent adventure
thread 3: 1000 ways to die in wwii
Warnings:
thread 1: none
thread 2: general wwii warnings
thread 3: general wwii warnings, including period racisim

01MAY
even someone as married to work to as he is can do something childish once in a while. a great while.
john contacts kaz, telling him to meet by the pool on the ship. it's been some time since he's had a really good laugh and since he's seen a glimmer of the man miller used to be. hopefully, he can kill two birds with one stone with his little prank.]
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[He actually gets the message right after making this discovery, and a sort of unsettled dread hits him. So he needs to go to the pool. What sort of hell did Big Boss get in the mail???]
[At least this promises to be less dour than some of their talks.]
[After a short reply, Miller makes his way over to there. He ends up leaning hesitantly into the pool area to look at Big Boss, tipping to look into the doorway. That abomination in his pocket, just because he'd just received it and hadn't thrown it away.]
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he even contemplates making a lap or two, just to make kaz sputter even more, but that's about the moment the blond shows up. well, more like shyly peeks in from the door. what's he so worried about? john calls out to him with a smile.]
You gonna come in here or am I gonna have to throw you in?
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You've not been walking around the rest of the ship in those? [At the pool is one thing. Around the ship is another. He has to check. He never knows for sure with Big Boss.]
...Wait, I don't think what I got in the mail is really appropriate for me to swim in. I don't know that I even can swim anymore. [He's already making excuses.]
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which was often. costa rica was as muggy as it was hot, after all. for whatever reason, kaz acted like the sight of john's bare thighs was the most scandalous thing he had ever seen. and already, the older soldier can feel mirth bubbling in his chest.]
You got a swimsuit in the mail? [and wait a second, if he did, what did he get? what could be more inappropriate than the speedo he was currently carrying around tucked into the side of his swimtrunks? in fact, he even takes it out and stretches it in front of kaz.] It wasn't another pair of these, was it?
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[He holds them up in front of his face, as if he needs to stare at them good and hard to check if they were actually real. He has the guitar. Why not his nonsense swimwear?]
How did-
[And he glances down at the edge of pink visible peeking at the edge of his pocket. An incriminating, shamed glance.]
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better late than never, right?
and that's when something obnoxiously pink catches his eye. which is amazing, because his depth perception and peripherals had always been a little wonky since he lost his eye. nevertheless, he sees it and immediately snatches at it before miller can shove it back his pocket.
it's like...a strip of cloth? he holds them up, stretches them out between his fingers. holy shit. it's... an even skimpier speedo????]
What is this?
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[Okay, maybe moderately easier.]
Something that needs to be destroyed. [He says it as if he pulled them off Skull Face himself which is really a mental image no one wants but now it's here anyway. He reaches out to try and snatch them back.]
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the speedo was fine, he guessed, if you were a professional swimmer. which kaz wasn't, but it made his ass look good, so john would never complain. but these? sometimes the arousing thing was what you weren't showing.]
This would never fit you. [and he doesn't mean you couldn't wear them. it's just... the only scenario he can think of is miller's cock and/or balls falling out of it.]
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[The the other pair he holds in front of him, measuring them against his hips, pondering whether that ass has gotten too big for them. Then he actually looks behind him.]
[He's been exercising much more since he got the prosthetics, and is mostly back in shape. Most of it on manufactured terrain, but it does its job. Then he realizes he just openly judged his own ass and looks back at Snake. Just directly in his one eye.]
Did you really walk around the ship in those?
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Don't worry. Your ass still looks great.
[he's had his hands on it at least twice now and seen it quite a few other times. he removes his hand when the moment's gone on a little too long.]
Yes, Kaz, I did. Most of the Nomo deck has seen me come out of the shower [naked], so it's not anything they haven't seen before.
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[As if there's a terrible lot to do. But his tone edges toward that slightly pitched thing he can break into whenever Snake does something he is sure must be deliberately frustrating. (Something he actually kind of misses but doesn't want to admit it.)]
Do you actually want to swim or did you just want to show me these?
[Because he doesn't sound like he's against actually trying. Better to flail around in the water with someone he knows.]
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but anyway.] Of course. I haven't worked out today, figured I could use the change in scenery. You joining me or are you too worried about how you look?
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Not exactly.
[He's worried how off balance he'll be.] I might need help. [Well... considering that he's seen him naked... Kaz just glances one way quick, then the other, and starts shedding clothes as quick as he can.]
[Yes he'll be a hypocrite and change right here, but he'll get his ass covered again as quickly as possible.]
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right there at the pool, where anybody could walk in. talk about pot and kettle. but john's eyes don't wander over him, even considering how intimately they know each other. they're about to exercise, so there's no reason to oggle him.
he doesn't even wait for miller to finish getting dressed, diving straight into the water with little warning. he resurfaces, pushing his hair back from his face.]
Don't worry. I won't let you drown. [though he will probably push kaz's head under the water, like a 5 year old boy.]
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Alright I- Wait.
[Last moment he remembers that he can't exactly swim wearing his sunglasses. Those get tossed on his clothes. He sticks his legs in the water and... well, he's got a concerned look on his face, looking at his left, where the prosthetic is. But he oozes off into it.]
[He feels like he's walking on a balloon. And when he shifts his weight one way, left leg goes up, right leg stays down, and he has to slap the water with his left arm and grab the edge with his fake one. Yup, went about as well as he expected it would.]
[But Kaz is nothing if not stubborn, and after a bit of grunting he just... turns them off. Fine. He'll figure out how to do it with one leg and one arm.]
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but kaz has that extremely determined look on his face, like he won't give up even if he dies. which he's in no danger, especially with john keeping an eye on him, but still. he appreciates that particular brand of hard-headed.]
Need a hand? [no pun intended. alright, maybe a little.]
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[He doesn't actually look all that mad, though.] Maybe in a minute. I'll try to swim over to where you are. Once I figure out what I'm doing.
Treading water was a lot easier when I had two feet to do it with.
[He thinks if he's careful he can use his arm without throwing himself into wobbly lighter-than-water chaos again.] You know. I was worried you would have ended up with something like I did. [And he knows that there is a vague, vague chance that Snake would wear that just to get a reaction. For all that he's a rough military man, every military man has a little bit of dumb idiot with the desire to spread chaos in him.]
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john honestly wants to see if he can make it without his prosthetics.]
Why? Thought I was gonna wear it in front of you? [though he had half a mind to do as such, john didn't think he could handle how uncomfortable that thing looked. besides, there were literal child roaming around the ship. walking around in swimtrunks wasn't half as bad.] I definitely wouldn't fit it.
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[Right now, that subcommander has the most dedicated expression as he's working out how to go from one place to the other. He kicks off from the side of the pool finally, coordinates a frog-legged kick with a half-ass breast stroke, and successfully makes it over there. Even if it's very efforted.]
[He grabs Snake's shoulder once he's over there to right himself and look back at where he just swam, already trying to figure out if there's an easier way.]
02MAY
but there is one person who can be considered a neutral party: bucky.
john hates asking for favors and he knows jim will enjoy having the man in his pocket, but he does anyway. if barnes will accompany him so he assure his men that he's fine and that he'll back eventually, then john would gladly repay him in anyway he saw fit. big boss stands at by the ingress down on the planet, waiting for the young soldier to make his appearance.
he really hopes he doesn't regret this.]
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You're gonna tell everyone I'm your grand prodigy, right?
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Yeah, I'll them you're certainly...something.
[sorry, bucky, john already had a prodigy. but you're pretty good, too. he steps up the ingress, ready to take the plunge.]
Ready?
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[ Rude! He asks for one compliment! But even with a wrinkled nose, Bucky steps up beside Ishmael, ready to take the plunge. ]
Last one in's a rotten egg!
[ And just like that, Bucky slaps him on the ass and jumps forward into the Ingress. ]
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they don't fall through some insane, zany tunnel of clocks or colors. one second they're falling and the next, they're not. where big boss had expected to land on the sand and dirt of the last iraqi province he and his squad had been driving through, instead the wind up in... a city? the buildings are dilapidated, obviously shelled out and burnt up from the flames of war. the skies are dreary and, moments later, john notices that it's raining.
this isn't the middle east.
the building have a european look to them, though he has no idea which country they could be from. he hears the din of gunfire crackling in the distance, fives miles off or more at the least. somewhere, he thinks he hears the sounds of a tank's treads making its way through the rubble. where the hell are they?]
Barnes, do you--?
[he doesn't get to finish the question. while they had been standing there, gawking, a handful of troops had managed to come up behind them. john never heard the sounds of their boots, too lost in thought as he was, but he definitely picks up on the sounds of guns being primed to fire. he stays very still, complying when they shout to not move.]
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Alright, alright, fellas! We come in peace'n all that jazz!
[ At least what they are speaking is English. They would be hosed if this were German soldiers.
Just like his partner in crime Bucky remains perfectly still, letting their newfound friends come around to their front with rifles poised. He is all sweet smiles and obedience since he certainly didn't pack for the trip (he assumed meeting up at Ishmael's base would afford him weapons). But one of them breaks position looking curiously gobsmacked. ]
Bucky?
Uh... Yeah—
Oh my God, Bucky! Sweet Jesus, we been lookin' everywhere for you! [ And like that the handful of scouts put their rifles down. ] The Invaders have been sendin' out parties for months. Same with the Commandos, Sir. [ As if he forgot himself, he acknowledges Ishmael with a salute. ]
Oh! Uh, yeah, sorry, we've... [ He looks at the older man beside him with a look that says he has no clue what's going on, but he's going to wing it. ] Well, it's sort of classified.
Right, let's just get back to HQ. You can get the Boss up to speed. [ Despite the confusion on Bucky's face he keeps talking. ] She'll be relieved to know you both're in one piece.
Uhmm, yeah, o... kay, good call.
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he doesn't say anything, letting bucky do all the talking. all he can feel on his tongue are words of confusion, wanting to demand to know where they were. and then the saluting, which isn't too odd, given the kind of reaction he generally observed being around othe soldiers. invaders? commandos? he doesn't recognize the names, can't recall any pmcs going by those names. when jim says what happened to them was classified, john just nods in agreement. keeping appearances.
just when big boss thinks this can't get any weirder, when it can't get any worse, he hears the soldier say 'boss'. not too strange, especially if the commanding officer is more on the ground than in a tent. it could just be they're all comfortable with each other. but then he says she and john visibly locks up. there weren't many female officers or soldiers in official military groups, even in his time. the way the grunt says it, john's brain immediately jumps to a conclusion.
he hopes to god what he's thinking isn't true.]
Take me to her. Immediately.
[his voice is a little funny, like he's nervous and excited all at the same time. the scouts all nod, looking a little confused, but begin walking back anyway. john follows, unsure what he's going to find.]
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He keeps his mouth shut for the moment, gradually walking slower and slower until they've got a wide distance between them and their escort at the front. That's when Bucky finally speaks up, keeping his voice low. ]
What's up your butt?
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I have a hunch about who we're going to see.
[but he doesn't want to say it out loud. in fact, he really doesn't even want to believe it. they were supposed to land in 1986 Iraq, instead they've seemed to have landed 40 some years in the past in what, looked like, a european city. and if the person in charge who he thinks it is, then they're in world war two.]
What about you? Any ideas?
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[ He stays quiet for a beat, considering how this can all be. ]
I think... I think I'm home. But, I don't know who this Boss is.
[ They've never called Agent Carter "Boss" before, so he has no idea who this woman can be. There are very few who serve in combat and possibly none who could hold the mantle of "Boss". So this? This is going to be interesting, and he sure hopes it's not a trick of Lady Lotus' or Madam Hydra's or even Warrior Woman's. That would really put a damper on their day.
But when they return to camp in the evening, everything seems as it should be. Although, word has already spread to their base that they are returning. The new blood is talking with each other, some running to find their friends and tell them what they know. ]
Bucky! [ It's Toro who stops him first. He grabs him with his smoldering hands like he can't be sure he's real. ] Holy smokes! I thought—Gosh, I didn't want to think it, but...
Jeez, have a little more faith in me, pal.
[ If Bucky weren't seeing this with his own eyes, he may never believe it. But his good friend is standing in front of him, flesh and blood. He pulls the guy into a big hug that leaves Toro a little confused as their entourage continues toward the Boss' bombed out quarters. ]
Uhh, Barnes...? You okay?
Yeah, I just... It feels like forever.
Well it has been. Cap's been searching night and day.
Ha, whatta guy...
[ The look Toro gives him is disconcerting. ] Guy—?
Bucky. [ His name comes from the front, and it sure isn't Steve's. It's a woman's, strong and beautiful really. She's dressed in red, white, and blue, holding Captain America's shield in one hand. ] Jack. You're both alive.
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when one of the kid's friends find him, john seems to deflate a little. whether out of relief or disappointment is anyone's guess. he takes in their surroundings as they travel further into the camp, how hastily put together it was. this is more of his element, despite the chaos. the sounds of war are a constant white noise in the background.
his mind is completely off whatever thoughts he was having before, of who they might be meeting and why she would be here. that is, until he sees the commander who comes out to greet them. at the sound of his old nickname, said in that authoritative tone, mixed in with relief, he stills. it's a little like when a deer freezes sensing danger or something out of place. in that moment, he can barely breath. in fact, for a few seconds, he's pretty sure he doesn't.
it's Her. she's doesn't look any different than she had during the virtuous mission in '64, face not young but not yet old, either. and very, very alive. she's dressed in a uniform he's never seen her wear, carrying some shield he knows she never carried. how can she be here if this is bucky' world?
how can she be hear at all?
vaguely he thinks he can hear her repeat his name, maybe once or twice. but the shock clouds every sense and words trip over themselves on his tongue. he can't find anything to say. in lieu of words, he nods once.]
I never had any doubt. Your Commandos will be back soon, but for now, we need to get you both caught up.
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[ God, what is he supposed to call her? What does he call her in this world. Her face doesn't change, but it's clear something in her eyes becomes a little harder. ]
Bucky, are you feeling okay?
You know, now that you mention it, I'm feelin' pretty beat! You know, tired, a little worn around the edges. Probably from all that torture we were subjected to for, like, however... long we were gone. Yeah, man, it's all just comin' back to me now and I can't make heads or tails of what or where or even when I'm from so maybe we should do this whole debriefing thing tomorrow after a good night's rest, because I think, you know that'd really.... help...
[ HE IS RAMBLING SO HARD SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIMSELF! ]
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he places his hand on jim's shoulder, a silent plea to stop talking and to ground himself. he can barely look her in the eye as he tries to lie his way out of this. hopefully she realizes what an 'ordeal' they must have both gone through.]
Bucky's right. [never thought he'd actually say that.] We need a couple hours to get ourselves together. The trip was...exhausting. [he can already see how she wants to tell them to deal with it, but, mercifully, she doesn't disagree.]
Two hours, Jack. Get some rest, get something in your stomachs, and then rendezvous with me for debriefing. There's still a war going on out there and it doesn't wait for anyone.
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It's her nickname for me... [it's a name that belongs to her, practically. one other person called him by that name, but john was really hoping against hope that the major didn't decide to show face in this messed up timeline. if he did, there would be no chance of big boss not shooting him on the spot.] She's not supposed to be here, Jim. She never fought with any groups calling themselves the Invaders or the Howling Commandos.
[her entire life had been declassified after her death, but even if it hadn't, the boss had never spoken about either group. granted, she had never really spoken about the cobras, either, but she had never really lied about her involvement in world war ii.] Who are they, anyway?
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[ It would for Bucky. ]
The Invaders are a team of uhh super people, basically. Some fly, some catch on fire, some happen to be the King of the Fish People. I mean, except for me. I'm normal. [ And boy oh boy doesn't that just fill him with pride! ] The others—The Howling Commandos are—You remember that cardboard tank I was drawin' on? Remember the guy that looked like you? Nick Fury lead the Commandos. They are just a ragtag bunch that help us out a time or two.
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she deserved his up-most respect.]
Don't ever call her that again.
[his tone is dire, as serious as a heart attack. she's not an object to be admired, but a force to be feared. bucky might not understand that now, but he will.
after a full, tense silence, john continues on as if nothing had happened. he surprisingly unperturbed about hearing of people who can survive being on fire and are king of fish people. there were individuals in his world that had extraordinary gifts and abilities, it must just be the same here. what gets him is the commandos part. the boss had called them john's commandos. had he somehow replaced whoever nick fury was in this world?
had the commandos been replaced with his own men?]
The Boss called them mine. Either Fury is dead or he doesn't exist here. Anything I should know about the Commandos in case we run into them?
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Uhhh, well, if it's the Commandos I know Dugan's your second. He wears a bowler hat and he's got this huge bar handle mustache. And, boy, are the Howlers on the brass' bad side. Fury doesn't really listen to things like regulations. Seriously, just be you and you'll fit in perfectly. Find a cigar if you can.
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[It's legitimately a difficult decision. Ultimately, he decides to go in after them. He can't abide leaving two people he's so invested in living a delusion, in a world where they're not true. Where their experiences are lies.]
[Not again.]
[So he finds himself moving through a tattered township, some houses bombed out shells.] Hell of a place to be having a great time... [He mutters to himself, mostly remembering the ruin he'd grown up in. But wasn't that the thing of it? Like he'd considered in exploring the wasteland, for American soldiers there's the promise of home, escape. But what if this is home?]
[He momentarily forgets his goal to pick up a half-visible picture, covered in ash and soot. Tips his head as he looks at it, and runs his hand over it, brushing it away.]
Cécile Caminades... [Just having a conversation with himself again, somewhere between concerned and pleased. Even with the faintest smile.] What is a world without my Parisienne, huh? You better have found somewhere safe...
[He's not trying hard to hide. It doesn't occur to him that he might need to. Instead he's just standing there, in a three piece suit and nice shoes that seem ill-suited for the zone. With an umbrella hung over his left arm for god knows what reason, setting this picture up against the house he found it beside, like he wants the owners to find it should they ever return (though who would want to?). If only he knew the unfortunate role he's stuck in today.]
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Now it's only useful to someone like him. ]
Is that—Is that Agent X? What is he doing?
[ There isn't time to really question it. He only has this one chance to take this Jap bastard down. Maybe it's a trap, maybe it's a body double. Who can say? They can figure it out after they dissect the corpse. ]
Sayonara, Nip.
[ Drawing out a slow, even exhale he target's the widest part of him: his chest. Bucky fires, the bullet making a loud crack, and it hits its target right where he wanted. ]
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between skirmishes throughout the city and hunting down the german's new weapon, that metal gear, john and bucky have been quite busy. taking pot-shots at anyone dumb enough to come strolling through the bottleneck they've set up shop in was practically a vacation. never mind that, besides the boss herself, they were the best two snipers in camp. they never had to worry about accidentally letting someone live long enough to report their position.
it had been a pretty good day. now with this target down, the day was about to get even better.]
I'll call Frank and the others for pick-up. The Boss will wanna see the body immediately.
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[Agent X flew back, landed, but didn't go down. Not for good, anyway. He scrambled to his feet and ducked into that house, holding his chest.]
[Breathe. One. Two. Three. Don't pass out. Breathe.]
[The shot came from the direction of a tall building, so he could make a guess. Clearest fire. He worked his way into the kitchen, knowing a bruise was blooming and was damn lucky to be alive, and he struggled to refill his lungs.]
[He clicked on the stealth camo he'd brought with him and slipped out a window, making a slow getaway. Three minutes. He has this. The light passed around him, blending him in, and he held up a pair of motherbase issue binoculars to listen in to the conversation coming from the direction of the sniper.]
yaay bucky finally gets to swear
What in the sam hill? [ He follows the fucker through his scope to pick him off again, but he's too quick. He takes cover in another building, leaving Bucky with only one option: curse up a storm. ] Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me. Are you seein' this shit?!
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john doesn't waste time trying to figure out, instead grabbing his m16 and other gear quickly. so the guy got up and managed to get into cover; he shouldn't be able to get much further with that injury.]
Keep your eyes open. I'll go down and flush him out.
[he doesn't give bucky a chance to say anything back, racing to climb down from their crow's nest.]
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[He just keeps willing himself to stay alert. Control his breathing so it's not labored. There's too many things to focus on.]
[He'd compliment whoever did it on the shot except he really just wants to slap either one of them until their ass is purple at this point. As he knows John is making his way one way, Miller creeps his way the other, taking stock of every hiding point he can see along the way.]
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