thisavrou_log | [ miles catch-all: one-way train to crazy town ]

"Me? Oh, hell no. I hate heights." The grin he gives Lara, though, is totally wild and unapologetic, bordering on irreverent, but it flickers at that addendum, going a little tight. I'm not made of glass, dammit...

"Wouldn't dream of it," he promises, showing teeth with his grin now, but his eyes are still bright as he slips his hand around Lara's waist to draw her in. Much less shy tonight, evidently -- that tentative diffidence from the night of the party is nearly gone, now, no half-measures in sight. "Hold on tight, eh?"

"Which would explain your experience with flying blind."

She hit a nerve, but she's hard pressed to apologize. Sliding her arms around his shoulders will have to do, almost a mimic of the way they'd touched back at the party. The memory lingers warm under her skin and entierly poorly timed. They haven't tried it again, but Lara's not sure now is the time for it.

Which doesn't exactly stop her from pressing close against him for reasons that maybe don't have entierly to do with the ascent to the wing. "All right."

"Exactly," Miles says with a greatly exaggerated wink, and up they go. He's stronger than he looks -- it's the bones that are frail, not the muscles, and Miles works hard to stay in shape, to compensate for his body's failings as much as he can. He sets Lara on the wing of the lightflyer, making sure she's secure before he perchse on the edge of it, kicking one braced leg. He gives her a sidelong grin. "Nice view, don't you think? It's even better from the air."

Edited 2016-03-13 00:09 (UTC)

A bit surreal to be lifted like that, by anyone really. Lara doesn't make a habit of getting physically close to people, now more than ever, but here she is, staying within Miles' direct sphere even once she's settled comfortably on the wing.

Her laugh is soft, threaded into her words, "It's a lovely view of the cargo bay, I don't believe I've ever seen it from this angle." Still she kicks her feet in mid air a little idly. "I haven't flown much since I was a child. I wouldn't mind doing it again, I think."

"Oh?" Miles's gaze idly tracks Lara's legs, watching her kick her feet in the air with an air of great delight. He looks back up at Lara like the snap of a rubber band. "Well, maybe we can do something about that sometime, when we've got a proper sky to fly in again. But for now..."

He leans over and pops the canopy on the lightflyer open with a grin over his shoulder at Lara. "Maybe a little make-believe will suffice for now." He jerks his head back at the lightflyer cockpit -- a little small, they're not meant for more than a few passengers, but plenty of room for, say, a pair of co-pilots. "What d'you say to a little flying blind?"

Difficult to say no to that.

She crawls past him to slip into the cockpit, tossing him a slight look over her shoulder. "That almost sounds like a come on."

Miles throws back his head and laughs. "Almost? God help me if I'm losing my touch already."

Grinning wildly, he climbs into the cockpit after her. If either of them were a bigger person, it'd be a more snug fit, but between him and Lara it's just about comfortably roomy. That doesn't stop him from sitting quite close, leaning forward slightly to grasp the controls with a sidelong look at Lara.

"Not since you were a child, you say? Then I suppose you never learned to fly one of things." He offers his controls to her -- though she's got a perfectly good set in front of her seat -- and his eyes light up. "Wanna?"

Oh... Well. It made sense, after everything that happened. Still, it pulled a warmer smile out of her that didn't go anywhere when he climbed in after her. She was much less experienced in this end of things, caught a little awkwardly between her curiosity at this side of Miles she's never seen before and concern.

"You're right. I never did get arpujd to learning to fly." Falling, on the other hand... There's a metaphors there if she looks hard enough. She looks at him instead. It's almost second nature at this point to lean against him lightly, but she hesitates a moment before setting her hands on the controls he indicates. "Show me?"

"Certainly." Miles's grin spreads a little more as she leans against him. When she reaches for the controls, he ducks his head smoothly so as to let her arm pass around him to grasp the controls on the other side -- a clever little move that lands him in between her arms, and he lays his hands over hers as he reaches for the controls, glancing up at her to deliver another flash of that grin. It's a neat little reversal of that classic 'put your arms around the girl while you teach her how to drive' move. When you're as small as Miles, you have to get creative about these things.

"There are three axes of control on any aircraft." Miles guides Lara's hands to tilt the control stick in demonstration -- and just for that; without any power the lightflyer isn't going anywhere. "Yaw, pitch, and roll. Yaw is on the vertical axis, letting you change direction -- pitch controls ascent and descent on the horizontal axis, and on the lateral axis, you've got roll, which -- well, it's about what it sounds like."

Lara wasn't often demonstrative, but she wasn't one to turn down an opportunity for it either. Particularly not from someone she cares for. She settles against him when he slides under her arms, leaning forward to watch the way he tilts the control stick.

"Seems easy enough."

"Easy enough when you're on the ground, sure," Miles agrees, grinning to himself in giddy satisfaction as Lara leans against him. Smooth, Miles, very smooth. He just has to not fuck it up from here.

"But when you're up in the air, flying high... It requires great focus, and great reflex. There's not a lot of time to fix your mistakes when you're miles from the ground -- you've got to be able to think under pressure -- or act, as it were. Which is why I think you'd make an excellent pilot, if you so chose." He shifts to the side slightly and tilts his head up to smile brilliantly up at her. "And you can get very smooth at it with a little practice, ah, maneuvering."

That shocks a small laugh out of her. "Thank you, though I think you overestimate my abilities. I'm sure I could manage to not get us killed at least." It's good to see him smile like that, though this close she can also see more clearly than ever the proof of his lack of sleep. She hums softly, "I've a feeling you're not talking specifically about flying."

Miles hums in mild disagreement -- Lara burns with potential as bright as the sun, any idiot has to be able to see that. He's pretty sure she could do whatever she wanted, if she put her mind to it. He adores that about her, really. It's hard not to.

"You must have excellent intuition." He grins slyly and twists under her as he turns his head up, leaning just enough to press a kiss to her mouth. He doesn't quite pull back. "Perhaps you'd make a much better officer than a pilot."

Well. That's actually not terribly surprising. She kisses him back, briefly, before pulling away and reaching to cup his cheek in her hand.

"You should be thankful I'm not, otherwise I could order you straight to the MedBay." She runs her thumb just under the dark marks under his eyes, "Charming as you are, you don't sound like yourself."

Something on Miles's face flickers, a brief freeze, but it's gone just as quickly, his eyes narrowing slightly with an amused quirk to his lips. "Don't you know? I'm notorious for disobeying orders."

And who around here is going to outrank an Admiral, anyway? That thought he keeps to himself, however, his mouth tightening just slightly. Mounting a defense already, ready to deflect, deflect, and charge forward.

"So who do I sound like, then?" he says with a sly grin, curling a hand around hers to pull it away from his face and press a kiss to her wrist. His eyes glitter sharply. "At least he's charming. Is he handsome, too?"

She catches the flicker, but can't quite interpret it, whether to push or back off. She hums softly, giving him a slight smile. "I'm shocked."

"No one I've met before." She tips her head to the side and considers him for a long moment. "I think he is, but not nearly enough to let him kiss me again in his lightflyer."

Miles flinches just slightly, his gaze going flat, but after a beat Lara's words catch up to him and it hits him all at once, a wave of silent panic engulfing his chest. Did he really just -- ? The room pitches dizzingly, leaving Miles feeling like he's just left his head behind. What the hell was he thinking, breaking out the Admiral Naismith shtick around Lara? Of all the stupid, senseless, idiot things --

"Lara," Miles stammers out, surprised -- mostly at himself -- his face pale, but no more haggard than before. He lets out a nervous laugh and scrounges up a weak smile, mouth half-open. His accent stutters abruptly back to Barrayaran. "Ha -- sorry. Bad joke."

It's an unpleasant transformation to watch, but it's almost a relief to hear the familiar accent again. There you are is what she doesn't say, instead leaning forward briefly to press her forehead against his.

"Well," she says, "You're very charming on your own, but I prefer to know who I'm kissing." She leans back to study him again, "You don't look like you've been sleeping." She's not going to ask if he's all right.

Miles smiles weakly. "Still me." It's all me... Isn't it? The thought makes his head swim. Can't he be both at once? Two particles, just slightly out of phase, occupying the same space... That peculiar sense of being pulled apart resurfaces and Miles swallows, trying again for that sickly smile. He is grateful, at least, that she hadn't abandoned him in the lightflyer out of disgust. He's not sure he'd have blamed her.

"Not...as such, no," he admits, gaze dropping, but he doesn't pull away. She might be the first person he's been willing to admit that to. Leaning against her, he studies his feet as he kicks them idly. "It's lost its sheen lately."

"Still you," she agrees quietly. Just not a side she'd seen before. Perhaps that shouldn't seem so surprising. Lara wraps her arms around him when he leans against her, holding him loosely.

"I do know the feeling." It's not as though her own nights had magically become peaceful. Rather, she's actually sleeping and that's something. Miles looks like he hasn't slept in days. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Thought you might." Miles makes a weak attempt at a grin. Lara's arms around him are comforting, more so than he'd have expected. There's a certain companionability about her, a kind of camaraderie born out of mutual trauma of one kind or another. He's never needed details to identify that in her. He leans back against her with a breath, squeezing his eyes shut. He tries to contain his thudding heart, beating painfully in his chest.

"I don't know. I thought I'd tire myself out, uh...tinkering, I guess. Nothing's worked yet, not really." Another breath escapes him, laced thinly with frustration. "Not enough to give me a break from...well. You know how it is with nightmares. Persistent little buggers."

She tightens her hold on him slightly, as if she could keep him together through touch and sheer force of will. Lara has will to spare, but distantly she thinks this is might be beyond her abilities. The thought just makes her hold Miles closer.

"Speaking from experience, it doesn't work terribly well. J found me asleep in a crate once." Never mind all the times she's slept in the library. Not that she's actually stopped doing that. "You could tell me about them. Or... Tell me why your voice was different, I've never heard you talk like that before."

Miles's grin wavers. "Just a bad..." Joke? No, to give that excuse again would be too flippant. He might as well insult her. "...habit," he finishes instead, biting the inside of his cheek. Her arms are warm around him, and to be held so close lik e this -- it's comforting, in a way he wasn't prepared to admit he needs right now. He lets her pull him in, sinking against her, although he doesn't quite relax. "It's, um. Something I used to do when I was younger."

Technically true, sort of. Seventeen was quite a bit younger by now. A little knot forms in his stomach at the quasi-lie he's preparing, but he doesn't know what else to tell her. Not the whole truth, certainly. "My mother isn't Barrayaran. She's from Beta Colony. Sometimes, when I'd be off-world, I'd do her accent." Also technically true. "Growing up in Barrayar was...hard, for me. Sometimes it was good just to -- escape, even for if for a little while."

Putting it to words like that -- it's almost a little too close to the truth, and more honest than Miles wants to be with himself about it. He chews on his lower lip, fidgeting with his hands. "I'd...appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone," he adds hesitantly. "I didn't mean to, er -- it just kind of -- it's kind of embarrassing, is all."

It's not just an accent, but it doesn't feel like the right time to press either. She lets it lie, rubbing her hand against his back instead. He feels like a bundle of nerves and knots in her arms.

"All right, I won't," she says after a pause, "But you ought to go to the medbay. They might have a sedative or something..." She finishes the thought a little lamely. It's perhaps a little hypocritical to suggest something she'd never really considered necessary for herself. "I've it under good authority that not sleeping is very bad for you."

She tries for a smile, making an attempt at lightening the mood.

Miles sighs, skin prickling slightly at her hand on his back, and he sinks against her a little more limply, cheek pressed to her shoulder. He mirrors her smile only briefly with a tired quirk of his mouth.

"You shouldn't believe everything you read," he returns, but it's with an attempt at levity, at least. He's momentarily seized with the desire to just bury his face in her and not move for a long while, but he brushes it off and just absently nuzzles her shoulder instead. "I'll try to go tomorrow," he says vaguely. "No one's going to be there this time of night, though. I suppose I ought to...go back to my cabin til morning."

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