I've Been Down With A Broken Heart

[notmarieanymore]

Who: Rogue, and you
When: Month of January
Where: On the station
What: Denial is a hell of a drug, and the hangovers are worse.
Warnings: CW for inevitable mentions of torture and murder.


The Devil Gave Me A Crooked Soul- girl talk with ka
Rogue went from the arena straight back to the station, stopping only to exchange a few gems for a large bottle of what she was told was alcoholic. Things had already been hard this month, with the Professor and Logan both gone, but finally recognizing Erik for who he was? That easily topped it.

She'd been so stupid- it was right there in front of her. Logan had made a few comments, the Professor had called Magneto Erik around her, but she hadn't wanted it to be true. Unfortunately she couldn't pretend anymore.

So she was just going to ignore her emotions for a little while. What better way to do it than with a drink?

Hoping against hope that Kelly Ann was in her room, Rogue made her way there, before knocking on the door a bit loudly. "Kelly Ann? It's Rogue- can I come in?" She was going to come in anyway, like it or not.

When He Gave Me Crooked Feet- general mopiness.
The next few days, Rogue is scarce. She keeps to her room, and when she's not there, she's in the gym. She's running laps, lifting weights, or her personal favorite: beating up a punching bag. She's been training long enough that she's confident in her ability at the gym, but she's been there a bit too much lately, pushing herself harder.

Logan, she hopes, would be proud.

But he's not even here, which makes this whole thing worse. There's no one from her time here, among their kind. Laura was from her future, Peter and Kurt her past. No one she could talk to who knew where she was coming from. She'd gone to Kelly Ann, sure, but that was mostly out of need for a drinking partner.

Apart from that, she won't bring the issue at hand to anyone's attention. It's none of their business, why she's so upset with Erik (Magneto, she reminds herself), and what happened to her. She'd had enough memory sharing for one life time here, and she didn't intend to do anymore.

But Gabriel Done Came To Me- meditation in the garden
Truthfully, the only reason right now that Rogue bothers to come to the garden is that she's got shin splints from all the running she's been doing. Which means it's time to take a few days off of cardio and lifting.

Meditation is something she'd been doing with the Professor, trying to get to the bottom of her powers, of her as a person. She'd never really come to enjoy it, but it was as good an excuse for a change of scenery as any. So Rogue takes to the garden, setting out a mat. She starts with yoga, first, before moving into the actual meditation bit.

Closing her eyes, she lays her gloved hands on her knees and sits cross-legged.

How people do this regularly, she has no freaking clue.

And Kissed Me In My Sleep- wild card!
make your own or hit me up at sheakespeare.

Comments

meditation;

[shadowblends]

Rogue isn't alone when she comes to the garden to meditate, but it's hard to notice a person when they're mostly crawling across the ceiling, only dropping down long enough to examine certain plants and their progress.

He hears her come in, though, blue-tipped bangs swinging as he turns to look. His lips quirk, amused at first, but despite the fact she's trying to meditate, something seems off about the girl below him. Well, if there's one thing he has learned to pride himself in, it's the fact he's pretty good at getting people to talk and offering whatever little advice he can to help.

With the stealth of a large cat, Kurt slinks across the ceiling then drops silently onto his feet, moving over so he can stand next to Rogue. He tips his head, watching her thoughtfully before sitting down and crossing his legs into the lotus position like most others do with this sort of thing, hands settled in his lap.

"Don't think so much," he recommends. "Meditating works best with a clear head."

s i b l in g b o n d i ng

[notmarieanymore]

There's movement around her, but Rogue opts to keep her eyes shut. She doesn't sense any sort of danger, and at worse it's a chicken-sized dinosaur. She hopes at least.

At best, it turns out, when she hears the friendly German voice next to her. Reluctantly, she opens her eyes and turns to her friend. "Ain't that the point though? To think things through with a clear head?"

She's really not that great at meditation. At all.

l o o k he's gonna do his best?

[shadowblends]

"Of course," Kurt agrees. "But you have to clear your mind of everything else first. Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation. Notice the movement as you breathe."

He adjusts, slithers his tail around to settle across his lap and slides both hands up to his knees. "Observe your chest, shoulders, rib cage, and belly. Simply pay attention to your breath without controlling its pace or intensity. If your mind wanders, return your focus back to your breath."

With a quick tip of the head back, the blue boy flips his bangs aside, returning his now unobscured gaze to Rogue. "Have you tried lying down?"

[notmarieanymore]

Rogue exhales, trying to relax and focus. Unfortunately, focusing on her breathing is boring. Clearing her mind was next to impossible, the voices screaming at her. Lord, she was aware just how crazy that made her sound.

There was a reason she didn't share that part of her powers readily.

"If I lie down, isn't that just sleeping?"

[shadowblends]

And Nightcrawler goes completely silent, listening for her breathing, recognizing that despite her attempts to ease into the meditation, Rogue obviously has something bothering her that's enough to throw off her concentration.

He chuckles then reaches a hand up so he can smooth his hair back easier. Well, technically, she isn't wrong, but--

"It's only sleeping if you actually fall asleep."

[aka_pistachio]

Kelly Ann hears the knock so she knows it's not Peter. Which is good, that means she gets Pino for a little bit longer. "Oh, hey, come on in! Are you hungry? I grabbed some fruit on the planet and I've just been cutting it up and seeing what it tastes like."

Probably not the best way to explore, but she has an epipen ready and Medbay on speed dial on her ACE in case things go haywire.

But when she looks up and sees the expression on Rogue's face, she knows something is Up.

"Did something happen?"

[notmarieanymore]

It's easy to ignore the offer of food, for once in her llfe. Instead, she holds up the bottle.

"Yeah- I need a drink." The problem with once she actually gets to Kelly Ann and sees her is that she remembers how much she hates dumping her problems on people. Pushing the problem aside and forgetting it, however, is a far better option.

"So you're gonna drink with me"

[aka_pistachio]

Kelly Ann's eyebrows raise at Rogue's explanation. "Sure."

She grabs a couple beakers-turned-glasses from the kitchenette. "I have more time anyway now that the Professor's gone." She frowns a little. All the other mutant kids were pretty close with the guy. And Logan, who's also gone. All that's left is that super intense Magneto guy, who doesn't strike Kelly Ann as particularly like, paternal or mentory or... nice. "Kinda sucks, though. He was pretty cool."

[notmarieanymore]

Rogue doesn't wait to follow her into the kitchen, uncorking the bottle as she goes.

"Same-" she pours them what she assumes is a shot. "-he is. I mean, don't get me wrong. But it's really Logan I miss." She'd be with him right now, she realizes, rather than Kelly Ann. But she's still happy to be here. As happy as you can be, considering.

"God- he'd think I'm an idiot." She hands Kelly Ann her glass and raises her own up in a toast."He also wouldn't like t'see me drinking."

[aka_pistachio]

The shot Rogue pours is generous but Kelly Ann just goes with it. "The upside is that with the Professor gone I don't have any more lit reading to do. So more free time for shit like this, right?" She toasts and then swallows it. It burns and tastes faintly of cherry.

"If he wanted to have a say in what you do, he should have stayed," she says. A sentiment that had been used to justify a lot of things she shouldn't have done in her life and definitely not a decision-making process she's going to examine now. "Why would he think you're an idiot? Are you not supposed to miss him or something?"

gym;

[supersonic]

The gym, as it happens, is also one of Pietro's favorite places to haunt, insomuch as he cares for anywhere on this ship. The track isn't much to keep him busy, and he isn't accustomed to training with brushed-steel weights or expensive equipment, but he certainly has time to become accustomed. If it will help him stay sharp, it may be worth it.

If he notices that Rogue is more difficult to avoid here this week, it isn't with any particular awareness of the emotional turmoil that might suggest, but it does try his patience. Enough to make socialization eventually seem less trying than boredom.

"If ever we are attacked by a horde of punching bags, I see you shall have it covered," he nit-picks from his position on the sidelines, one shoulder leaned comfortably against a wall, where he has apparently been watching for some time. She isn't bad. But punching bags don't exactly fight back.

[notmarieanymore]

Rogue glances over at her audience over her shoulder.

"It's a half-decent replacement. My usual sparring partner's gone home." Logan was always happy to train with her, and he was one of the few she really trusted herself against. He wasn't afraid to brush up against her skin.

[supersonic]

Home. What an insubstantial concept, here. People disappear, that much he believes, and he's heard some do come back, but the rest - how can any of them be sure where they've gone, or if they're even alive?

Pietro decides not to share that thought. Occasionally it occurs to him to exercise a modicum of tact.

"You couldn't find anyone else?" He imagines she has friends. She seems like the kind of person other people like.

[notmarieanymore]

They don't know for sure, but she has to believe they return to where they came from. It's so much easier that way.

Rogue rolls her eyes. "First of all, I've been training with Logan for two years. Second of all, most people here don't have any experience with my powers, and I don't want to subject them to that." She taught basic self defense, but she was instructing, and she'd warned the class not to touch her. She always covered up.

Even now, working out, she doesn't roll up her sleeves.

[supersonic]

He's noticed. Only just now, though — before, Pietro had written her gloved hands off as a fashion choice, or some kind of temperature intolerance, but she says powers, and his spine straightens just so, his formerly idle attention now abruptly focused. He has no great skill at hiding it, either, but there's something cautious in his body language, too. Meeting other mutants hasn't always gone well for him, and he doubts she's his biggest fan right now.

Thankfully, he manages to sound as blasé as ever. "So your powers are what, an extreme allergy to humans?"

Gym

[araignee_du_soir]

Widowmaker had been spending more time in the gym that she had a month prior, feeling a restlessness she wasn't comfortable with. Her attempt to pick back up some semblance of an old ballet workout routine was her latest attempt to assuage things. It really wasn't helping.

So, the one time her routine aligned up with Rogue's manic one, the blue-skinned woman ended up stopping and grabbing a chair. Sitting on it backwards, towel about her neck (though she didn't look like she'd been sweating much if at all), Widowmaker watched the young woman for a while with an unwavering yet detached look. Eventually, she spoke up.

"You are running yourself ragged," she said, her voice carrying a distinctive French accent. "If you keep it up, whatever you are running from will catch you."

[notmarieanymore]

The moment Rogue looks up and notices a blue skinned woman, she stops short. She looks at her, green eyes wide and for just a moment she looks terrified. No- if this were Mystique, she would know. This woman was not Mystique in the least.

"I'm not running from anything," she says, coming to stop in front of her. There was no point in running away from anything when the problem was in your head.

[araignee_du_soir]

Now that was interesting; it had been a while since anyone had given her such a look of fear. How she missed it...

Expression remaining the same, save for a slightly raised eyebrow, Widowmaker was silent a moment, as though her disbelief didn't need voiced. And yet she lent it words all the same. "Metaphorically. No one trains like that without their tail on fire. Sit and rest before I am forced to decide whether to take your unconscious body to Medical or just leave you to face the consequences on your own."

[notmarieanymore]

Of course she meant metaphorically. Rogue frowns.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me." She had no reason to listen to this woman, just as this woman had no reason to worry about her. And yet, she hesitated to start up again.

"I'm even drinking plenty of water."

[araignee_du_soir]

"I'm not." And in case it wasn't clear - she knew her apathetic tone tended to make people misunderstand - she clarified. "Worried about you, that is."

Hydration was important, but not nearly as much as her own potential inconvenience. "You are young and pretty. Likely someone here cares about you, and I have no desire to deal an irate friend because I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

People got so irrational when friends or loved ones got hurt.

if it's not too late! - meditation

[clussy]

The Gardens hold a valuable place in Eddie's heart, and it's a place he routinely visits, often not alone. Today though he was alone. He's better off than the last time Rogue had seen him, decked out in a wolf onsie, the hood pulled up and ears perked high. He's riding his bike along, singing some old fifties tune that had been going around and around on the radio back when he was home still. It was eating away at his ear, and his voice carried smoothly out across the bobbing heads of flowers and swaying grass.

It had felt appropriate to him to sing right then, though he wouldn't be able to put his finger on why exactly. It was one of those Strange Things he didn't think particularly hard about.

He sees Rogue a ways off. He doesn't rush. He keeps on singing, winding his bike slowly towards her before finally coming to a stop just in front of her. He slips off his bike, drops it gently onto its side and sits himself in front of Rogue, crossing his legs together.

"....In my opinion, I don't think this junk works."

[notmarieanymore]

She could hear his voice on the invisible wind. Not bad, not bad at all, though she couldn't identify who it was that was singing. Not until Eddie came down to sit across from her. She can hear the movement, feel his shadow, so she opens her eyes.

Then she smiles.

"Hey, you," she says though the smile does not reach her eyes. "it's supposed to help. Clear your mind, all that. The Professor has always thought it'd help with my powers." With the voices. "There's apparently more to it than just sitting with your eyes closed."

She pauses. "Was that you singing Doris Day?"

[clussy]

"Hiya." It's been too long since he's seen Rogue. Which technically wasn't that long ago, but any time was a long time when he hadn't seen someone he loved for a while.

"I never really got how it could. Quiet stuff usually makes the loud stuff louder?" Eddie says, but he's also not a professional so he isn't certain. That's just how it felt for him- like whenever he tried to go to sleep at night and things cramped up.

"Is it helping you?" There had been an obvious lack of people. Eddie wasn't oblivious. Hard to be when he had frequented the X-family residence quite a lot and then one day it suddenly seemed like no one was there. Very quiet.

"Yeeeup. Do you like her?"

[notmarieanymore]

Rogue is 80% sure that with the arrival of Eddie, there is no way in hell she's going to be able to mediate. She could have told you that to begin with, but hey. It had been worth a shot.

"You're spot-on." She crosses and uncrosses her legs and shakes her head, as though that will get the voices out.

She runs her fingers through her hair. "It's not. I've been trying it for years, but I can never get the voices to shut up long enough to think." She sighs, leaning back on her hands.

"Yeah- I mean, I'm more of a Dolly Parton fan, but I'm not sure if she's from your era or not."

[clussy]

Most likely not, no. Eddie wasn't the best at reading when his presence was distracting from something, but at least he had good intentions?

"Voices?" he echoes softly and at once. A part of his mind instantly went to the way that his mother spoke to him inside of his mind all of the time, but another part of him felt like that couldn't possibly be true for anyone else. But then he also had seen the memory of what Rogue's father was willing to do to her. Maybe it wasn't so impossible to understand after all.

He gives a small shrug. "I dunno anyone named Dolly Parton, so I guess not. What's she like?"