i've seen this room

[dirth]

Who: Solas, Cole and open to others!
When: Throughout July
Where: Elfhaus, R3
What: General catch all for the house in July!
Warnings: N/A atm

[ The house has been mostly barren and empty for the last few weeks; since his and Lavellan's argument Solas has done his best to avoid haunting his room and the lounge, only coming back on the rare chance that he might somehow run into Cole. All their conversations have been difficult, rough and damaging for his mind and his thoughts, but there is very little that would keep him away from the once-spirit now.

He wants nothing more than to be there, to have Cole at his side, welcoming the boy as he had done in Thedas - as he had been, once, the only one capable of understanding the nature of Cole and the way his thoughts work.

It is not so, now. He's aware of that, much to his own frustration. Solas feels adrift, on edge, and does not know how to make do with himself.

More than anything he finds that he is rather bored.

The door to the house is often left open to let the air in and the cold of the season does not do much to bother the elf that sits inside. He is more than capable of summoning his own fire to keep him warm and he often sits, his eyes glowing in the dark, drawing and sketching to that firelight. He has nothing better to do other than to read, and even he needs a break from it. There is little about returning home and he is doing all that he can to understand the science of this world, as fruitless as it seems.

It has been a long time since he has felt loneliness, but it creeps in all the same. ]

Comments

[dirth]

[ It seems hypocritical for Solas to suggest that Cole ought to focus on the future rather than the past and a world he had left behind, but he's aware that his own advice is often borne of his own understanding, his own empathy, burning low inside of him like a tender flame. He offers it because he knows that Cole will understand - that this boy will recognise the doubts, fears and hatred Solas feels and come to his side all the same.

Bowing his head, he does what he can to fight his smile. He wants to embrace every moment he has with Cole, wants to be around him like this for as long as he can manage, and he is being given a wonderful gift today. It is better to think of it as a present than something he will inevitably have to give up. ]

Of course. We could go tonight.

[ They need to be asleep, after all. ]

[seity]

Yes.

[He smiles, just a little bit, just a little turning up of his mouth that might not be a smile at all to anyone but Solas. There would be no fear this time, no desperate confusion. If he sees it again, he will get to remember how things were and know how things will be. The Fade knew no "before" or "after", only the multi-faceted kaleidoscope stream of existence that encompassed every moment that was and would be. For Cole, it was all he had known, and for Solas, it was what he liked to know. That was just a small part of what bound their hearts so tight together:

They didn't fear the knowing.

Unasked for, annoying, the guilt pipes up again, and he shifts his eyes away from Solas's face.]

Has it been good here?

[dirth]

Then we shall do it.

[ What is there to stop them? There is nothing that could bar their entry - he has rested like this already - and no one to interrupt them. This is to he their venture, the two of them together, and Solas cannot think of anything he would love more. It will not be as when Cole was drawn into the physical Fade, dangerous to his very existence; it will be a wonderful dream, and he looks forward to it.

Turning his head, Solas closes his eyes and smiles. ]

The dreams? They have not been unpleasant.

[ He hasn't seen much, but nothing that has made him want to stop. ]