Cúrre (
hownkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-02-01 11:09 am
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( february intro log )
Who: Everyone
When: February 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Emiri
What: The crew finds themselves on the planet of Emiri
Warnings: Mentions of a corpse. Please label your content!
( ooc; This plot is spread out over the first half of the month of February, and follows the order of the prompts listed above. Feel free to take as much time as you need to with your characters and use the info above for posts/logs at your discretion. For questions, go here. Please comment to activity check to receive new ranks (if applicable)! )
When: February 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Emiri
What: The crew finds themselves on the planet of Emiri
Warnings: Mentions of a corpse. Please label your content!
I N T R O L O G |
"There will be no prison which can hold our movement down."
|
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Frisk. Doesn't understand, still.
It's a hate-worthy offense. Chara does hate them, because they're not listening, and Chara is trying to curl around the fact that it means Frisk doesn't care about everything Chara's done, and that that means they're evil, evil, and worse than evil.
The thoughts won't burn them. Maybe it's because Frisk doesn't know the true depth of Chara's depravity in the first place, or maybe it's because the thoughts need a bit of time to heat up before they can really boil against them. It's true that Chara can't do more than picture a caricatureish parody of Frisk dismissing something like death, but. Maybe Frisk will give them adequate inspiration for that, soon.
They can't bring themself to strike that final blow to their image. It'll shatter like a mirror when they do, and Frisk's face will crumple and Chara's sins will follow them for seven years for that alone, but... Chara's mouth is open, yet their tongue is numb. Words won't come.
...
... They don't have to do this right now. They don't. There's always plenty of time for it later. There's something despicably selfish about letting Frisk keep loving someone who hurt them so deeply, but Chara just can't not refuse to prevent themself denying they didn't--
--their gaze has dropped to the floor like it weighs a thousand pounds, and Chara ghosts away from their bed. Not meekly. Quietly. Empty like a scarecrow.
They sit down by the bars, and their gaze just barely rises to the edges of Frisk's fingertips. Chara is sitting very straight. The rigidity of their position is like diamond. If anyone were to force them to move, they'd impact against Chara like the side of a mountain, or Chara themself would crack.
...
... Apparently they're a hideous enough person that they'll let Frisk reach out unanswered. And they're doing this. Every step that they've done. They look back at the floor between them and the bunk.
The silence they've brought fills their ears.
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Frisk pulls their hand back for a moment when Chara moves closer, and they frown at that stiff posture, the way their whole body screams that they don't deserve this kindness. Slowly, carefully, so very aware of that fragile tension wrapped around Chara's being, Frisk reaches to just barely brush their fingers against Chara's knee before letting their hand fall to their side.
It's selfish, they know. Selfish and callous and they should hate Chara right now but Frisk just can't find any malice in their heart. Not knowing what they do, how twisted up Chara is inside already. What could they say that Chara isn't already heaping on themself is spades?
The silence stretches on for several more moments before Frisk finally finds words for the thoughts roiling in their head. "You're...you're not horrible for messing up. Okay? You can still...you're only bad if you stop caring." They try to smile, but there's something missing from it. "An' I know you always care so much."
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"You don't know me," they snarl. "You don't--know anything, where do you--get off saying--"
Words are failing them. They're struggling, and they want to punch Frisk right in the teeth. The other fist could reach their hair and yank like they're starting an outboard motor and bring Frisk's face right into the bars and then they'd be in reach and it'd be over and Chara stumbles to their feet, world turning around them like they're drunk.
They stagger back to the bunk and curl up in a ball that's nothing so much as it is coiled rage and gnashing teeth, and they hate Frisk, they hate them, they hate them they hate them--
They muffle their face against their arms and knees, and heave a breath into their lungs, and it feels like the resulting shriek is a wedge being driven into their own ears. They can't stop shaking, and they're not really aware of the way their hands are digging vicious claws against the thick cloth of their uniform pants.
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"I--I--" They barely even have a chance to respond before Chara storms away, staring in horrified confusion. Even if the bars hadn't been in the way, their own racing mind would have prevented them running over to try and comfort Chara--it's all too much at once, too much different from what had been, what Frisk knew. What they had assumed would always be.
Frisk's hands are on the bars again, trembling, but they can't speak. They can't act. All they can think in a distant, hysterical part of their mind is that Toriel would know what to do if she were here.
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Chara keeps their head down, rocking until the raggedness of their breath is quieter, and the trembling has slowed. They hate how everything is different when Frisk is around, and they especially hate how if they weren't so furious, this horrible feeling in their chest would feel like tears. They're upset. They've gotten all worked up over some bullshit innocent reassurance that Frisk probably couldn't help but give, and now they've gone and hurt them just by being themself, and they still can't unclench their jaws.
They think over Frisk's words and press their face harder into their arms. There's nothing offensive about them at all. They're sweet. Misguided.
They're not going to uncurl from the ball while Frisk is still here. They plan to wait, and maybe not even move for a long while after they've left.
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It's a long time before Frisk finally finds the strength to stand again, though their legs are shaky and their breathing funny. They don't want to leave, but Chara could not make it any more clear that they don't want anything to do with Frisk right now. Still, Frisk lingers for a few more moments before turning to silently make their way back out of the hold, trying and failing to hold their sniffles back until they're well enough away.
---
It's well after lights out when Frisk comes back again, much more timid in their approach this time and carrying a peace offering in their pocket. It's only one bar, and it's definitely not the right brand, but god bless whoever it was that decided the ship needed s'mores supplies at some point previous.
Frisk pauses a few feet away from the cell bars, swallowing and considering just leaving the chocolate at the edge of the cell for Chara, but finally the speak up in that hushed tone when you're not sure someone is asleep, but you still need to talk to them.
"Chara? I...can we talk? Please?"
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One might say they were scowling, except there's nothing behind the look but sleep. No--it's a squint.
"Frisk?" Chara turns their way and mumbles something that might be some sort of inquiry.
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Frisk looks uneasy, fidgeting with their hands and their gaze darting around. Their guilt is written clear as day on their face. "I. I wanted to say sorry for before. I didn't wanna upset you like that."
They take a few steps forward, and pull out the bar of chocolate to hold out through the bars. "Um. I snuck this out of the kitchen for you."
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"No. Um. You really didn't. Have to..."
They stand automatically, going to the front of the cell. The bar is rectangular, and even as their mouth waters they stare as though uncomprehending. "You... uh, wow. Thanks." The weight of it when they take it is familiar, even if the brand is not.
They blink at it. Then they blink at the hallway, looking lost.
"... Do you want some?"
No. They want to offer, and it's uncomfortable to push through the stupor into making decisions at all, but this isn't how Frisk will take it. Chara shucks off the candy's foil and breaks the bar neatly in half, already pressing one in Frisk's direction.
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The offer takes Frisk off their guard, and they blink in confusion. "Huh? You don't have to..."
But Chara has already started opening it, and Frisk just huffs out a soft breath before accepting their half. Even now, Chara's still trying so hard to take care of them, huh? "It's supposed to all be for you, silly."
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Then the pick back up again, staring at the ground with an odd sort of sorrow. Flavors, memories--they'd experienced them when they'd been with Frisk, but some part of them is insisting that it's different now. They're alone. All this flavor is reserved for them.
Frisk is still here with them for it.
Their voice is a little rough from the chocolate. "Hey, um." They swallow, then briefly meet Frisk's gaze.
"... Thanks."
They give them a small, grateful smile, and their face must have creaked from the newness of it. Maybe they should smile more. Maybe not.
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For a moment, they're surprised that Chara doesn't have an immediate response for the thought. It's so strange, not having their friend inside their mind.
That smile, though...Frisk blinks in surprise before they beam right back, a warmth welling up from deep inside. Determination fills them up, deep in their bones; Chara should be smiling like this all the time, and they want to make sure that can happen. "You're welcome! 'M glad you like it."
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Chara's eyes slide off to the side. "Hey, Frisk." There's something they need to say, and now's the best time for it. They're calm and not about to melt down or scream at anyone. How often does this happen?
"Um." They hold on to their lingering mood, but can't help but feel that it's being too dismissive. They let it go a little more, concentrating on sounding sincere. "I'm really sorry about earlier." More solemnity. "That was... I went a little nuts, there, I guess." Ha ha. 'Nuts', like some slapstick cartoon. They made Frisk cry, and it's the most unfunny thing they can think of.
"I shouldn't have..."
It's been an entire progression, and by now they're looking down.
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"It's okay. I know you get upset sometimes." For all that Chara tends to drop the subject quickly, they've heard the start of enough stories to know how their friend can be. It was just...jarring, to suddenly see that for themself. "I'm not mad."
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"... Um." Happy thoughts. Frisk did something nice for them, and the least Chara can do is to avoid bringing them down. (Not that they might not do it anyway.) They clear their throat, glancing back into the cell.
Their gaze lands on discarded food wrappers and a plastic bottle. "... Hey." They turn back to Frisk. "We probably have royalty on board." The fact sounds far less exciting out loud than it did in their head, and it wasn't particularly interesting there either. They might as well have spotted a professional acrobat. 'Keep an eye out', they'd say, 'he might do a trick.'
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The change of subject catches their interest, and Frisk is willing enough to let the topic of anger issues slide away into the background again. But royalty...Chara can't mean Asriel, he's definitely royalty. Something about this person has Chara nervous, though, and that in itself is enough to get Frisk concerned as well. "...is that bad?"
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"Only if he decides he knows what's best," they say coolly, attention turned inward. "... Which he might. He's a cop, too." And that was all of Chara's problems all wrapped up in a bundle, wasn't it? Kings. Cops. Conscience.
At least he had the decency to bring food. (Speaking of, they pop another chocolate square into their mouth.)
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Frisk sighs and pouts a little, giving Chara somewhat tired look. "They're not all bad..." Frisk doesn't really expect Chara to listen, though, and continues on before any real argument about the issue can start. "Did he come to talk to you? What did he say?"
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"He wanted to know why I'd..." They close their mouth. "Why, um." Again? This is stupid. Even if it was a disaster of a meeting, they still need to snap out of this.
"... Why I'd attacked Papyrus. He kept asking over and over. I didn't have a lot to say."
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"That kinda thing is his job. He has to." Frisk chews on another bite of chocolate for a few long seconds, then looks up. "He didn't ask anything...funny, did he?" He doesn't know about Determination, does he?
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"... He doesn't know anything." It's a statement that promises more words will follow, but Chara stops there. 'He'd wanted to know'. So what? 'Chara had been tempted to tell him.' So what? 'He seemed sometimes like he actually cared'.
Chara hates humans, and adults are the least trustworthy of the lot. They're the ones with the all power, and the ones who'll laugh or ignore it if it if there's anything that hurts them. They're the ones everyone loves, and they'll love any kid but Chara. That's sort of okay, because Chara's not very lovable, but Chara hated them for it anyway. Every last one of them deserved to die. Chara would sing if they could be the one directing the knife. Someday, maybe if their karma finally turned around, they'd get to be the only one left.
Gregor was human. He was all of those things, and he'd picked at their scabs one like they were scratch-to-win circles on a lottery ticket, and they hurt. He was cruel, and there was something seriously messed up about how he didn't think they were broken. How could he think... how could anyone think that they didn't need fixing... ?
They'd rather dump the whole problem on someone else. Not Frisk, necessarily, but someone. Chara tries to shake the whole thing off with another sigh.
"He'll probably try again later. He didn't finish. And he's bringing food."
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They know very well the grievances that Chara has with anyone in authority, they way they scowl and grumble and snap about how they're just bullies that think they're justified, how they can't be trusted for anything. Frisk never believed a bit of it, but they know that sometimes bad eggs can rise up to prove something like that. They remember listening to the other kids in the old homes, the scary stories they sometimes talked about.
But that's not how it is here. Someone like that would be found out right away...wouldn't they?
They squeeze Chara's hand for a moment, trying their best to be reassuring. "I'll come back, too. Okay?"
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They let go of Frisk's hand. "Can you bring more food next time?" A pause. "Like a cake? With a file baked into it?"
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Frisk blinks, then laughs and shakes their head at the joke. "Chara! They'd catch you before you could finish, dummy! But I can bring you somethin' else."
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"Oh well. Fine. Maybe some more chocolate, then?"
Frisk really is a miracle worker. Chara's been killed, kidnapped, stripped of power, thrown in jail, and beaten soundly at every other turn, and Frisk still manages to end their second visit with laughter and smiles. Maybe Chara won't have such awful nightmares after they're gone. It's a nice thought.
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