Procrastinating and Not Solving My Problems | Open to All

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Who: Darin Altway and anyone who wants to join!
When: On especially clear nights throughout the month!
Where: Kauto, Region 5
What: Stargazing! Introspection! Relaxation! Bonding! Hilarity!

[Life had been decidedly quiet for Darin in the last month and a half. After that tumultuous mission with Shiro and the ensuing fallout, things had returned to be as peaceful as they could possibly be on an alien world. It was as close to feeling like 'home' as it could while not actively being the same.]

[Perhaps it was this longing for 'home' that found Darin on top of a grassy hill, sprawled out on his back and gazing up at the night sky. Back home, he would do this often when he had to turn his thoughts inward. He would gaze up at the twin moons of his world, one perpetually almost eclipsing the other, and think about his place in that world.]

[He found himself doing the same thing now, but instead of wondering what his place was, he was wondering what he could do to protect it. The laboratory on Asteroid 276 presented a path: a chance to limit himself and his abilities, thereby protecting everyone he had come to know and love in this world. But what would that mean for him if he was ever sent back to his real home? On the other hand...if he chose to keep himself limit free, where did he start in gaining mastery over himself? Dromas had been taught to use his powers. The power gap between them was like comparing an ocean to a babbling brook. How could he even begin to learn something about which he had no previous desire to know?]

[He sighs and reaches into a holster on his hip, drawing forth the tablet that Lucio had given him. He points it up towards the star-filled sky and begins opening window after window: star charts he'd taken from the Hub and meticulously recreated as images in the tablet. He starts moving the images around with his hands, trying to find matches among this night's tapestry. He didn't really expect to find his home...or anything in particular. But, it kept his mind busy. Kept its gears turning. Who knows...maybe he'd find an answer tonight?]

Comments

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin flops back onto the grass and rolls onto his side to face away from the princess.]

You're assuming I have limits; that I can break. I grew up in a forge. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that tempering steel only reinforces it.

[patchricide]

That may be true, but... that doesn't mean it is limitless.

Did you know that you can also cut steel with a stream of water?

[She's actually not sure if he does. High pressure jet streams aren't exactly common in medieval technology. On the other hand, he mentioned magic in his world. Would they have figured out how to pressurize it?]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, just like how a river can turn a mountain into a valley. Add pressure to the stream and you can do just about anything.

My point, Princess, is that I've already lost everything. My brother, my birth family, and my entire world is hanging on by a thread of it hasn't already been annihilated by now.

There isn't exactly much else for me to lose.

[patchricide]

Now you're the one who's not talking like a... [What's a good word to use instead of "Princess" here?]

...bllllacksmith?

[She frowns. That's not the kind of word she wants, for the point she's trying to make.] That is, I mean...

My heart grieves for what you've lost. But how does having less to fight for make you any stronger?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

It doesn't.

I never said I was strong. I never said I was some kind of hero who could fight the good of all.

I can't even fight for the good of my family. I've run away my entire life.

Having less just means I have less regrets.

[patchricide]

Regrets about what -- resigning yourself to live without hope?

Weren't you the one saying you couldn't be broken? I don't understand. Are you trying to convince me you already are?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You wouldn't understand...

You can't even begin to understand.

This goes beyond just me. I won't break because I can't break. If I do, then the repercussions, the consequences would be beyond anything I can fathom.

I have a duty. It's self-imposed and forced upon me all at the same time. I'm telling you that it would be better for you to leave me be.

Stop trying to get so close to me. You're only going to cause yourself grief.

[patchricide]

You're right. I don't understand.

[She puffs up a little.]

But you should know I'm not going to give up on you just because you asked me to.

... that's not a declaration. You should know that, by this point, since you're more than smart enough.

And so I won't be leaving you be, and I will keep trying to help you. I'll just take whatever's coming to me for it.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're in over your head, Princess.

Stop forcing your will onto people. Some of us just don't want to be helped.

[patchricide]

Let me put it another way, then.

If your friend was in danger and telling you to leave it be, would you?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Don't pull that on me.

This and that are two different scenarios entirely. Because the odds of someone else having the same incredibly unique problem as mine are non-existent.

[patchricide]

How can you be sure about that?

[If she had the holographic projector, it would be easy enough to show. But at the very least, there's something else here to help. She turns to the night sky.]

The universe is massive, and always growing. I've learned of hundreds of planets with life, and that's barely a scratch on how many there are. And then you add in the Ingress, a gateway to other universes...

Are you sure it's so unique?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Pretty sure...

Guess it depends on your stance on 'gods.'

[patchricide]

[She stares at him, considering. And then... her stance shifts. Just enough so that rather than pushing forward, trying to get him to accept her quiznaking friendship already... it's reclined away. Open, listening. Facing him a little more directly.]

It would depend on what you mean by 'gods'. There's a variety across cultures. From a certain perspective, even the Lions of Voltron could be considered like deities.

However, I think a little skepticism is natural healthy. For example, if you believe the Arusians, I'm a goddess myself.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He sighs heavily and sits up from his position on his side. He'd been putting this off for entirely too long. And maybe...just maybe...if he explained his position, if he explained exactly why he couldn't let her anywhere near him...she'd leave it alone. Leave him alone.]

Gods. Beings that shape existence. Beings that can create and destroy on a whim. Beings that are worshipped out of fear or devotion.

All-powerful, nigh omnipotent...masters of creation and destruction.

Gods.

And no offense, Princess, but I'd know a god or a goddess if I saw one.

Because I am one. Well...half of one.

Wait...if I have a full human soul and then one half of a god's soul, does that make me one and a half of a person?

...Eh. It's easier to just say I'm half-god.

[patchricide]

... ... ...

[What is she supposed to say to that? She looks surprised and uncomfortable, and like she's trying to figure out how to still be polite after hearing that.]


Darin, you know I'm not very good at jokes. You..

[She searches his face for a tell, something to reveal the joke that she's apparently not getting.]

... you're serious? You are serious. Or I'm even worse at jokes than I realized.

[But it sounds absurd, to put it mildly. But is he going to start getting worked up if she actually says that? What's the polite way to ask someone if he's lost his mind?]

But what... I mean, how... [She pauses to collect herself.] Where did you hear such a thing about yourself?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

My dead brother.

The one who was brought back to life by Archfiends so he could fulfill the prophecy he and I were both born for. The one who went rogue, framed me for murder to separate me from my quiet life, fully expecting me to chase him down to clear my name. Which I did.

Imagine my surprise when my brother was had been dead for nineteen years, the same brother I saw her cut down when I was five, was "alive" and well, brandishing powers that could level cities in an instant. Powers that I also have but have no idea how to tap into.

Suddenly everything about me made sense. My weird hair color, my strength, my unnatural resistance. I knew I was a monster before, but he confirmed it. He told me what our true purpose was always supposed to be: to join together. To become Diomuhr and wipe out all life on my world.

You don't have to believe me. If you want further proof, ask Shiro. He got to speak to Diomuhr through me.

[patchricide]

I think you lost me around the part where you said everything made sense.

[If Shiro were here, she certainly would be demanding he confirm everything that Darin just said. But he's not here. There's nothing to be done about that, though. She'll just have to interrogate him another time.]

[In the meantime, she's going to play twenty questions with Darin. (Did he actually think this would make her back off?) She's very curious about his brother, but...]

What prophecy are you talking about? What 'Diomuhr'? This is all doomsday lore from your world, isn't it?

[She wants to know what context she's missing, first.]

[The universe is full of creation myths and destruction myths -- some of which are tall tales, based on close encounters with other kinds. Plagues, wars, planet-eaters.]

[None are coming to mind that came true.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He sighs heavily in increasing annoyance and pushes himself to his feet.]

It's not "lore." It's the truth. It's a truth that only I am aware of because it sounds insane. Diomuhr is Lord of the Archfiends. He's a being so powerful that he waged war with a small band of Archfiends against the entirety of the Celestial realm. He's a God of Destruction.

The short story is that he was trying to prove that the wickedness and evil in man's heart would triumph over the good. He gave up his physical form to be reborn as a human so he could wipe out humanity. But apparently a lone human can't handle the power bound to his soul, so he was split. Dromas and I were born each with one half of his soul. Problem is, Archfiends have their own ambitions. Apparently Diomuhr didn't have a very large circle of trust because one of his underlings sent demons to our realm to kill us. I alone survived because of my heightened resilience.

[He sighs and undoes his jacket, letting it fall to the ground. He pulls off his shirt then and gestures to his back. No doubt she's seen the scar before.]

That's where and when I got this. The only wound severe enough to leave a scar that I haven't fully regenerated from.

Dromas and my birth father died. Apparently Dromas was given his body back when he crossed over. He was made a servant of the Archfiends until he grew too powerful and escaped back into the realm of the living. Now he's hellbent on making the prophecy come true. He wants me to join him. Use my powers and wipe out all life on my world.

You get it now? I'm a living, breathing God of Destruction. With powers I can't even begin to fathom, let alone control. And Diomuhr knows it. He's waiting for me to break.

[patchricide]

[It's not the first time she's seen the scar, no. Not with the way life has been going at the Lion House.]

It's not that I don't get it. [A pause, then an admittance.] Well, mostly get it. You're going through this all fairly quick, but I think I caught the gist of it.

But you said it yourself. This sounds insane! In fact, I half expect you're trying to convince me of it just to have a laugh at my expense after. ... except by now, I know what kind of expression you'd be wearing for that.

[She's quiet, letting that hang for a moment. In essence, that's the same as admitting she believes him. The only thing she disbelieves is herself.]

So, what next, then? Do you plan to just let this prophecy control the rest of your life?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What's next is that I keep going like I have been. Either I keep Diomuhr sealed with my own power or I find a way to remove him.

That's it.

[patchricide]

Is removing him actually an option?

... I'm not asking if it's possible. What I mean is, what would happen to you if you did?

I don't know if there's actually such as thing as good or evil quintessence. But I've never once heard of a time when losing part of that was a good thing. It's a necessary sacrifice at best, and one that should be handled in measured doses.

[Which is taken straight from the list of advice Allura knows and will never heed.]

Half a soul doesn't sound like a small amount. Never mind half of this 'Diomuhr'.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[He shrugs half-heartedly.]

I don't know what will happen to me. Maybe I'll turn back into a normal human. Maybe I'll die.

It's not like I have anyone I can ask about this.

[patchricide]

'Anyone'? I think there is one very good source of information about this.

[She's looking at him, but it's an odd look. As if she's not looking at him, exactly -- not meeting his eyes -- but something in the same space.]

Although it might not be the easiest conversation you could have... if he still has any sort of will and knowledge, he likely knows a little more about this situation than you do.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I'm not sure I follow you.