thisavrou_log | Procrastinating and Not Solving My Problems

Procrastinating and Not Solving My Problems | Open to All

Who: Darin Altway and anyone who wants to join!
When: On especially clear nights throughout the month!
Where: Kauto, Region 5
What: Stargazing! Introspection! Relaxation! Bonding! Hilarity!

[Life had been decidedly quiet for Darin in the last month and a half. After that tumultuous mission with Shiro and the ensuing fallout, things had returned to be as peaceful as they could possibly be on an alien world. It was as close to feeling like 'home' as it could while not actively being the same.]

[Perhaps it was this longing for 'home' that found Darin on top of a grassy hill, sprawled out on his back and gazing up at the night sky. Back home, he would do this often when he had to turn his thoughts inward. He would gaze up at the twin moons of his world, one perpetually almost eclipsing the other, and think about his place in that world.]

[He found himself doing the same thing now, but instead of wondering what his place was, he was wondering what he could do to protect it. The laboratory on Asteroid 276 presented a path: a chance to limit himself and his abilities, thereby protecting everyone he had come to know and love in this world. But what would that mean for him if he was ever sent back to his real home? On the other hand...if he chose to keep himself limit free, where did he start in gaining mastery over himself? Dromas had been taught to use his powers. The power gap between them was like comparing an ocean to a babbling brook. How could he even begin to learn something about which he had no previous desire to know?]

[He sighs and reaches into a holster on his hip, drawing forth the tablet that Lucio had given him. He points it up towards the star-filled sky and begins opening window after window: star charts he'd taken from the Hub and meticulously recreated as images in the tablet. He starts moving the images around with his hands, trying to find matches among this night's tapestry. He didn't really expect to find his home...or anything in particular. But, it kept his mind busy. Kept its gears turning. Who knows...maybe he'd find an answer tonight?]

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Busy?

[He probably should have announced himself a little more before just padding up the hill. He'd been on his way home from a late night shift, seen the tablet glow, and gone to check it out. Only to find their other blue teammate.]

[At least he wasn't in uniform, dressed down to loose pants and a black sweatshirt, spangled with little white whirls of stars.]

[He stops a pace or two away, hands shoved in his pockets.]

[Without looking away from his little matching game, Darin offers a bit of a laugh.]

Me? Never. Just wasting the night away playing connect the dots with the universe.

You gonna stand there or are you gonna have a seat?

I wouldn't say stargazing is a waste of time. I really, really wouldn't.

[He does pad over though, standing next to him for a moment or two, looking up.]

I'll stand for a bit.

I used to do it a lot back home. There was nothing better...

A warm night, the breeze carrying the sent of the ocean on its wake. The sound of the tide. The way the twin moons gave everything an ethereal glow...

It's different here. Not any less amazing but...back home the sky seemed full. Here it just seems kind of...empty.

[He huffs.]

Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it.

It's light pollution.

[He sits down, then, elbows propped up on his knees.]

The more light there is from cities and people, the less the stars show. Same goes for things like moons.

So yeah, it makes sense.

...So, you mean to tell me that the more advanced people became, the more we literally lost sight of the universe we live in?

Because that might be the first solid argument I have in favor of my world being better than anything I've found here.

[So help him, he laughs. A real laugh, this time. Not the strained one he usually has.]

Something like that, sure.

But it happens in nature, too. Planets with more light sources -- more moons -- those block the stars out too. Same reason you can't see them when the sun's up.

Yeah, but my moons were gorgeous. There's a legend about them and everything. Then again...considering everything about me, I wouldn't be surprised if it was fact.

Hey, I'm not saying they're not. Just they can be a reason you don't see stars sometimes.

[He pauses.]

So if there's legends about them, you probably don't want to hear why they glow, huh?

Actually...I do.

Besides, the legends aren't really that interesting.

[There's another laugh. But his attention stays on the stars overhead.]

They're reflecting the sun. Like big mirrors, more or less.

Huh...

I guess that makes sense.

[He pauses, contemplating.]

You really like space, don't you, Shiro.

Does it show?

[Yeah, it does, you big nerd.]

I kind of have to, these days, don't I? But... yeah. Yeah, I do. Always have.

There's so much humanity doesn't know. We were supposed to fill in some of those gaps... before everything happened. But I guess we're still doing that, now, even if we're not sending reports home.

You talk about space the same way I talk about creating things. It's hard to miss.

[He shakes his head though.]

Y'know...those legends I talked about? They deal with the way my world was created. About how the Celestials and the Archfiends were at war with each other for eons. When they finally grew tired of fighting, they created my world, Anmaral, and the people who inhabit it. We were supposed to decide the war for them...if humanity wiped itself out in endless wars, then the Archfiends would be free to take over our realm. If we managed to live in prosperity? The Celestials would banish the Archfiends to their own realm for eternity. The moons were meant to represent the Archfiends' and Celestials' watchful eyes over us.

Humans were just...pawns in a war we were created to fight in. It used to really aggravate me...because people are so much more than that.

But now that I'm here? The vastness of space really does make us all seem like...game pieces. Humans are so...oblivious to everything outside of their immediate sphere of influence. It's humbling and terrifying all at once.

I did go to space school.

[... okay so more like military space school but same thing.]

[Then it's his turn to shut up and listen. Even if he's not entirely sure how much of that he buys. But... all the same. After everything they've seen so far in the universe, writing off something like that is probably stupid.]

[To say the least.]

Yeah, but we're trying. You can't fault people for not knowing something because they didn't have the means to see it. Like saying someone should've known what color a stop sign is, when they're blind.

We're getting there. I mean... most people back home still think humans are the only life in the universe. Just because they've never met another species like the five of us have...

More than five, actually. [If... Pidge's missing family counted. And they do, to him.] But you get what I mean.

See, that's what I'm saying. We may be ignorant but that doesn't mean we're incapable of learning. Of adapting. Of understanding. I'm living proof.

When I first heard the legend, I was so...pissed. How could we be seen as just game pieces? Pawns in some game the gods are playing to settle a war we had nothing to do with??

Before I came here, Dromas told me he wanted to prove that humans are no better than monsters. That we're capable of atrocities and that we have an obligation to end everything and let the Archfiends take over.

[He shrugs.]

I know he's wrong. I know we're capable of so much more if given the chance. And after seeing everything that this universe has to offer? I feel like...we have an obligation to elevate ourselves. To be better.

[He glances up at Shiro.]

You ever draw pictures with the stars back home?

Hate to break it to him, but, humans aren't the only ones who can do horrible things. That's... a pretty universal trait.

[Hopefully, with the way they're sitting, the quiet hiss of mechanics as his metal fingers dig into the grass isn't audible to anyone but himself.]

But I get what you're saying. If you're getting involved in a fight like that... it should be your choice, huh? Not someone else's.

[There's a trace of irony in the words. But he doesn't press it. Because there's better things to talk about.]

If your world's headed anywhere like mine... yeah. You'll get there. Give it time.

Draw pictures? You mean constellations?

Yeah, believe me. I know.

[He sighs and stretches.]

Sometimes I feel like I'm not in control. Like...I haven't made any of my own choices. I go with the flow, sure, but...I've been asking myself what can I do to regain control of my life.

[With a wave of his hand, one of the windows that Darin was working in glides in front of Shiro. On it are the stars in the current night sky. He's already drawn his own constellation. It's a broadsword.]

Yeah...those things. You ever do it back home?

... You chose to stick around here, with us. Didn't you? That's something, man. Probably a step to something else, if you decide to take it.

[Since most of them would offer to help him out with anything, especially where their respective talents were concerned.]

[He arches an eyebrow, leaning back on his hands.]

Nice. And... something like that. I'd pick out the ones we knew already. Tried to memorize them all.

Just in case we'd have to navigate by them someday.

I did. But...there's more to it than that. I've been doing a lot of thinking I mean...you guys have your war to prepare for. And...lets face facts, I don't think I can go back with you all if the Ingress decides it can lock onto your castle ship.

I...have to start seriously thinking about what I'm going to do with myself. With what I am. And what that means for this world and the world I come from.

Man...listen to me. I almost sound like I know what the hell I'm talking about.

[He laughs and motions to the window in front of Shiro.]

You mean you never tried making your own? I used to do it all the time as a kid. I used to make up stories and legends to pass the time.

You don't know until we try. Maybe Pidge and Hunk can do something with it.

[He's listening, really. But on the other hand, they've made this guy a part of their team, now.]

But I wouldn't say "almost". I'd say you do sound like you know what you're talking about.

[He pokes at it a couple times, absently.] Nah, see... back home, I wanted to learn them all. So I'd always know where I was in the galaxy.

And now look where we are. I don't think kid me planned on a whole new universe.

I appreciate the sentiment but...I may have my own war to fight. Kind of makes me wish I could take you guys back with me.

Before the Moira picked me up, I was all alone. Well...not exactly alone. There was this girl...

[He shakes his head.]

So...what's stopping you from coming up with new ones now?

Maybe there's a way. Some way we could get back to when we were taken... with others along for the ride.

[He tilts his head.] This girl? [DAD MODE: ENGAGING.]

I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just not good at naming things.

Who knows. At the very least it's worth keeping in mind.

Don't even get me started on her. She was an absolute lunatic. Her name's Iris and she was a fortune teller. She started tagging along after me when she did a reading on me and sensed Diomuhr. I also may or may not of exploded her stall out of panic. So she's kind of stalking me and demanding I pay her back for her livelihood. And also she wants to know about Diomuhr sooooo...yeah, no. She wouldn't leave me alone.

[Darin rolls onto his side to face Shiro.]

So? Cheat. Here, look.

[He pulls up another window; another section of the night sky and ponders for a minute. After a few moments, he draws connecting lines between several stars until it forms the head of a wolf.]

I call it the 'Dracer' constellation. After my dad!

Okay, is this one of those things where "she won't leave me alone" is... code for something? Or is this genuinely a problem?

[Is that thing where you make friends with people following you still A Thing anymore or is he that out of touch with humanity?]

Cheat?

[Okay, he'll look. Because you gotta admit, that's pretty good.]

Your dad the blacksmith, right?

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