Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2017-01-03 09:25 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- dragon age: fenris (crau),
- dragon age: varric tethras,
- guilty gear: venom,
- marvel 616: laura kinney,
- mcu: bucky barnes (crau),
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: jesse mccree,
- overwatch: mei-ling zhou,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: adam parrish,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: harry flynn,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- x-men movies: james "logan" howlet,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
january event log
Who: Everyone
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
E V E N T L O G |
"Let them in, and take them out."
|
4
Heading off into the unknown is just a little more of the same. And there's a very distinct possibility the journey's soon going to be at an end, if what these people say about their home is true.
He glances over upon hearing Miller's voice, his own dog heading over to say hi.]
We've made it through this far. That's saying a bit already.
[Encouraging words from Liquid Snake of all people.]
As far as waits go, I've had worse.
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[He snorts softly at the comment, remembering what Liquid said of his internment. He had long waits indeed.]
Well... If they can get us back. More importantly, if they can get us back knowing what we know now. [He doesn't specifically mention that he doesn't want to go back with the knowledge that he might die. They both know enough about that.] Do you trust them?
[They might be being honest, but Kaz isn't sure that he has it in him to try.]
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Liquid sits down in a nearby chair, sighing lightly.]
I've only ever trusted one person.
[And he's not here. Hasn't been for a while. And the 'version' of him he remembers most is dead. He doubts there will ever be someone he can trust as much.]
But this is the best we can do right now. Seems like it's either we follow them into who knows what, or we stay here. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather not hang around.
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Better than being stuck here, yeah. What gets me... is that those people downstairs were slaughtered. So, is it that easy to look past? Not for moral reasons, but for ones of our own protection.
[Nothing like mass murder to make one think about one's future. Multiple experiences with it, at that.]
Ah, well. I guess if it gets worse, it won't be anything new to us. We've seen some pretty bad situations.
[He's watching as the dogs make noises at each other in that strange husky language that doesn't quite sound like a normal dog should. The men on the base would have loved these animals. Or will love, if he's so lucky to bring them back with him.]
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Liquid doesn't quite know the feeling.]
As much as I'd like to not look past a lot of things, we're running low on options here. I'm not too worried, though. I'm sure I can take them.
[You know, it's clearly not a big deal or anything, right?]
I'll say, pretty bad. It's not like I don't know what dying's like. I'd certainly hope I wouldn't have to deal with that again, but it'd at least be a 'been there done that' sort of situation.
[He laughs. He's not going to die before he gets back if he can help it, and if he can't, he's going down swinging and taking down as many enemies as he can.]
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What was it like for you?
[Death, that is. For his mother, she had slipped away quietly. He frail, thin hand in his. The infection that killed her having left scars. Her mind, barely even there to be lost. What was it like for his father? Those sad last moments in which he felt so alone in the world that he gave up. How much did he feel?]
[Sometimes he wonders what he'll go through. What V will go through. He's seen a lot of ways to die. None of them pretty.]
[It seems like something even Liquid is afraid of. Those people downstairs must have been to. And from what he can tell, the sparse information they've gleaned and had been told, all it took was knowing too much.]
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Heart attack. FOXDIE. Everything just sort of... stopped. When I realized what was happening, I couldn't even get out a full bloody word. It was... cold. That's the last thing I really remember about it, being cold. I didn't mind the cold when I wasn't dying, but... I don't know, I guess it got intense.
[That's what happens when you die in the snow, apparently.]
Not my finest hour. I'd like to avoid that happening again.
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FOXDIE was their way of wiping out a potential threat too, wasn't it?
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[He tries really, really hard not to say it with a sneer. So it's only kind of a tiny sneer.]
I'm sure they had a lovely time with it afterwards.
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Just more convenient waste for them.
I'm pretty sure I won't be able to see this any other way. Those people down there didn't need to die for them to cover up their secret. We know what the right man [horrible man, but still] can do to someone's mind.
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[From his own experiences with brainwashing, from knowing what he knows now about Venom, from what his own best friend could do with people's minds.]
Maybe death is a better fate than that in the end. Maybe it isn't. There's a lot to be said about philosophy.
no subject
[He tips his head in the direction of where they'd come in, rather than the floor itself.]
I doubt it would have been worse. They were ruthless with it.
[He wants to go home, badly. He has a lot to make up for, a lot to prevent.] If circumstances were different, I would say this Ingress should be shut down altogether. [But they are what they are, and even at his most generous Miller can be an incredibly selfish man.]
no subject
[A slight shrug.]
Even if we weren't here, if our circumstances were different, I doubt shutting it down would do much in the long run except maybe make some people feel a little better. Not much we can do about anything until we get more information entirely.
[And it absolutely sucks to feel so powerless about everything, but that's life out in space.]
In the end, we just keep going.
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[But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel wore out from starting over and over again.]
So eventually this means we could return home. Problem is I'm a full two years older. Don't know if I'll be able to return with the changes that have been made now.
Gonna do my best. I know that there's a slim possibility of holding onto memories. My artificial limbs are a different story.
I'll spend my time working on a way to do that first.
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[He looks down at the dogs. Can the dogs go? What does an Ingress do when it returns people home?]
If I go back? I'm dead. I could be going back to an existence of bloody nothing. There's nothing left for me there. I clung to what I could cling to and in the end that wasn't even enough.
And then I ended up on the ship. I had my own body again, had a life again.
[He clenches his glass hand into a fist. He's undergone a few changes, but it's still his body.
It's so weird talking about this with someone, especially Miller, but he's found him to be the sort of person he can confide in when he needs to. He was able to talk to him about the Tretij thing. He can talk to him about this.]
I want to be able to take this with me.
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It was a difficult decision, getting this. I know it seemed like it shouldn't be, but I went without because I was paying respects to our lost men. Then I got here. I wasn't a ranked soldier. I needed it to get by. Now I've gotten used to it.
[He still hates it, in a way. He compromised his morals to get it, gave up on a search for retribution.]
I don't want to leave the dogs here, either.
[They brought them through the Ingress. Why can't they send them back? Or why can't they send them back and allow them to be remembered. He knows that if he realized that this husky was following him around, he'd welcome her. The whole damn base would welcome her, actually.]
[But what kind of life would be left for him.] Well... maybe if we're lucky, they're better at using the thing. They made it, after all.
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[He knows the desire for retribution all too well, but he'd personally rather be able to administer such a thing at his full potential.]
We made it through the one on the ship without coming in a bunch of amnesiacs. If it works the same the other way round, we might have something. Put the dogs on a lead, step through, hope for the best.
[It's all they can do. Unfortunate that everything has to come down to being all they can do, but nobody's quite in their element out here anyway.]
I think we'll make it.
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[There's another pang as he misses them both.] They thought I was a Japanese spy during some World War II world. It made them forget.
I hope these people are better with the damn thing.
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[A pause.]
Back then. ...I went back for a bit. Further back. Saw my team again. Guess I'm lucky I didn't stay long enough for anything to get too bad.
I wonder... what would they truly consider home, anyway?
[Maybe slightly, he's entertaining the thought of swooping in and saving his team somehow. Now that he no longer personally has FOXDIE to contend with... Hm.
It's unlikely, but it's nice to imagine.]
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[And for that, he considers himself infinitely lucky.]
I have no idea. Maybe home is just what we make of it. As generic a notion as that is. I thought motherbase was home. [But now he knows that he can't stay there.]
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[Now if he'd had the chance to get the drop on the guy...
Oh well. The rules on the ship eventually made that its own sort of possibility, even before his father was gone.]
I suppose the generic thing has to work for some people. I've never quite had an actual home, just places I've stayed. Seems I've always had to leave, eventually.
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[Home is where the heart is? Home is where all the effort is.]
Cipher made settling down hard on everyone.
[Ah, yes, it's about time that he remembers how insufferably bitter he is about what they've done to him. What they've done to all of them.]
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[It's not much, in the long run.]
Even now, settling down at all is hard to imagine. The ship was as temporary as everything else, and who knows what we're walking into.
[And there's no Cipher out in space.]
Maybe when we get out of all this, I should take a break. Only I'm not quite sure if I know how.
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[It's too late to save himself in a different universe, to stop the death of Liquid's comrades. It's too late to give that David a better life than he ended up with.]
It's easier said than done. But if you have the option, you should just get the hell out. I wish I could have done that, but Ocelot left me with no choice.
I can't go back to times before. But if I have no choice but to forget...
I don't know. I might go somewhere else myself. [And that's the first time he's admitted it. His doubt that returning, and returning with what he has, is important enough that he might consider not returning at all.]
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[But his team died for nothing. He died for nothing. If he doesn't go back, it's not like there's anyone to miss him.]
It's hard, isn't it? Letting things go.
[He's sure not good at it.]
Well, hopefully they'll let us know beforehand if all of this ends up being useless. Then... I don't know. I can sort of pilot a spaceship. Maybe there's something for me out here.
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