Thán (
hohnkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2017-01-03 09:25 pm
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Entry tags:
- *event,
- agents of shield: daisy johnson,
- all about j: j,
- danger days killjoys: the girl,
- dogs bullets & carnage: badou nails,
- dogs bullets & carnage: nill,
- dragon age: anders,
- dragon age: fenris (crau),
- dragon age: varric tethras,
- guilty gear: venom,
- marvel 616: laura kinney,
- mcu: bucky barnes (crau),
- mcu: stephen strange,
- mcu: wanda maximoff,
- metal gear: kazuhira miller,
- metal gear: solid snake,
- metal gear: venom snake,
- mushishi: ginko,
- overwatch: angela "mercy" ziegler,
- overwatch: jesse mccree,
- overwatch: mei-ling zhou,
- overwatch: reinhardt wilhelm,
- overwatch: soldier 76,
- star wars: rey,
- the raven cycle: adam parrish,
- the raven cycle: ronan lynch,
- tron: rinzler (crau),
- tron: yori (crau),
- uncharted: harry flynn,
- undertale: chara dreemurr,
- x-men movies: james "logan" howlet,
- x-men movies: kurt wagner,
- x-men movies: peter maximoff
january event log
Who: Everyone
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
When: January 3rd and on
Where: The Midway Hub.
What: The crew finally make it to the center of the Hub.
Warnings: Mentions of dead bodies, death, and violence. Please label your content!
E V E N T L O G |
"Let them in, and take them out."
|
no subject
[He looks down at the dogs. Can the dogs go? What does an Ingress do when it returns people home?]
If I go back? I'm dead. I could be going back to an existence of bloody nothing. There's nothing left for me there. I clung to what I could cling to and in the end that wasn't even enough.
And then I ended up on the ship. I had my own body again, had a life again.
[He clenches his glass hand into a fist. He's undergone a few changes, but it's still his body.
It's so weird talking about this with someone, especially Miller, but he's found him to be the sort of person he can confide in when he needs to. He was able to talk to him about the Tretij thing. He can talk to him about this.]
I want to be able to take this with me.
no subject
It was a difficult decision, getting this. I know it seemed like it shouldn't be, but I went without because I was paying respects to our lost men. Then I got here. I wasn't a ranked soldier. I needed it to get by. Now I've gotten used to it.
[He still hates it, in a way. He compromised his morals to get it, gave up on a search for retribution.]
I don't want to leave the dogs here, either.
[They brought them through the Ingress. Why can't they send them back? Or why can't they send them back and allow them to be remembered. He knows that if he realized that this husky was following him around, he'd welcome her. The whole damn base would welcome her, actually.]
[But what kind of life would be left for him.] Well... maybe if we're lucky, they're better at using the thing. They made it, after all.
no subject
[He knows the desire for retribution all too well, but he'd personally rather be able to administer such a thing at his full potential.]
We made it through the one on the ship without coming in a bunch of amnesiacs. If it works the same the other way round, we might have something. Put the dogs on a lead, step through, hope for the best.
[It's all they can do. Unfortunate that everything has to come down to being all they can do, but nobody's quite in their element out here anyway.]
I think we'll make it.
no subject
[There's another pang as he misses them both.] They thought I was a Japanese spy during some World War II world. It made them forget.
I hope these people are better with the damn thing.
no subject
[A pause.]
Back then. ...I went back for a bit. Further back. Saw my team again. Guess I'm lucky I didn't stay long enough for anything to get too bad.
I wonder... what would they truly consider home, anyway?
[Maybe slightly, he's entertaining the thought of swooping in and saving his team somehow. Now that he no longer personally has FOXDIE to contend with... Hm.
It's unlikely, but it's nice to imagine.]
no subject
[And for that, he considers himself infinitely lucky.]
I have no idea. Maybe home is just what we make of it. As generic a notion as that is. I thought motherbase was home. [But now he knows that he can't stay there.]
no subject
[Now if he'd had the chance to get the drop on the guy...
Oh well. The rules on the ship eventually made that its own sort of possibility, even before his father was gone.]
I suppose the generic thing has to work for some people. I've never quite had an actual home, just places I've stayed. Seems I've always had to leave, eventually.
no subject
[Home is where the heart is? Home is where all the effort is.]
Cipher made settling down hard on everyone.
[Ah, yes, it's about time that he remembers how insufferably bitter he is about what they've done to him. What they've done to all of them.]
no subject
[It's not much, in the long run.]
Even now, settling down at all is hard to imagine. The ship was as temporary as everything else, and who knows what we're walking into.
[And there's no Cipher out in space.]
Maybe when we get out of all this, I should take a break. Only I'm not quite sure if I know how.
no subject
[It's too late to save himself in a different universe, to stop the death of Liquid's comrades. It's too late to give that David a better life than he ended up with.]
It's easier said than done. But if you have the option, you should just get the hell out. I wish I could have done that, but Ocelot left me with no choice.
I can't go back to times before. But if I have no choice but to forget...
I don't know. I might go somewhere else myself. [And that's the first time he's admitted it. His doubt that returning, and returning with what he has, is important enough that he might consider not returning at all.]
no subject
[But his team died for nothing. He died for nothing. If he doesn't go back, it's not like there's anyone to miss him.]
It's hard, isn't it? Letting things go.
[He's sure not good at it.]
Well, hopefully they'll let us know beforehand if all of this ends up being useless. Then... I don't know. I can sort of pilot a spaceship. Maybe there's something for me out here.
no subject
To be honest, I think no matter what I choose [returning or staying] the best option will be to remove themselves from their damn plans as much as I can. The same for you.
Sounds like you got options. We deserve a little bit of freedom after all of that.
[He's trying to psych himself up to go through that gate, to prepare.]
no subject
[What is he without hatred and anger? Even calmed down as he is now, it's an inherent part of him he can't just leave behind.]
Well, I think dying's removed me from their plans pretty cleanly, at least. So unless I can... make it to the past somehow, try and fix all the shit that's happened, I might not have to deal so much with them.
Or, I go back and destroy them.
[He's not so sure about either of those, but as everything else, it's fun to think about.]
Freedom's still hard to imagine in such a context, really.