Jesse Pinkman (
heisenbitch) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-11-28 02:21 am
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closed
Who: Jesse Pinkman & Ronan Lynch; Jesse Pinkman & Joseph Kavinsky; Jesse Pinkman & Noah Czerny; Jesse Pinkman & Andyr Prince. (Will set up more starters if anyone wants one!)
When: Post-Moira crash into the Midway Hub
Where: Around the camp set up
What: #justpostwhatthefuckthings
Note: Warnings for swearing and other stuff I'll edit in if necessary. If anyone wants to do post-crash things with Jesse, shoot me a PM and I'll toss up a starter for you!
When: Post-Moira crash into the Midway Hub
Where: Around the camp set up
What: #justpostwhatthefuckthings
Note: Warnings for swearing and other stuff I'll edit in if necessary. If anyone wants to do post-crash things with Jesse, shoot me a PM and I'll toss up a starter for you!
β² closed to ronan
[ One of the things Jesse managed to salvage of his own belongings from the Moira was the tent he'd received upon being promoted to Tiruncula rank a month or so ago. It's pitched shoddily among other crew members' tents pitched nearby, a slipshod effort on Jesse's part with how little he really knows about camping. Not that it matters, not that Jesse even cares. Hours have blurred on by since the ship went down, and Jesse has steadily descended from blind adrenalised terror into a state of shock-induced apathy; all the horrific things he's seen has anesthesised him into an eerily indifferent calmness.
Sitting crosslegged just outside his tent, there's a cigarette dangling between his lips, smoke drifting up from the lit end, while he's washing his hands in a dented camping saucepan of water that he'd managed to acquire. Barefoot and dressed in just his filthy jeans, his equally filthy blood-caked t-shirt is lying in a heap beside him. The water is cold, shocking against his skin; goosebumps rise across his arms and chest as he scrubs water up along his forearm, washing away dirt and dried blood as best he can with what little water he has available to him. He focuses on the task like he hasn't got a care in the world, like nothing horrific or traumatising has taken place.
Realising someone is approaching him, slowing down in front of him, Jesse glances up with a puff on his cigarette. It's Ronan. Smoke billows from around the cigarette pursed between his lips as Jesse peers up at Ronan with a look that's full of acknowledgement, yet unreactive; that same eerily indifferent calmness. Turning his attention back down to what he's doing, he remarks around his cigarette with a curt casualness that's entirely out of place with the whole situation: ]
'Sup?
Sitting crosslegged just outside his tent, there's a cigarette dangling between his lips, smoke drifting up from the lit end, while he's washing his hands in a dented camping saucepan of water that he'd managed to acquire. Barefoot and dressed in just his filthy jeans, his equally filthy blood-caked t-shirt is lying in a heap beside him. The water is cold, shocking against his skin; goosebumps rise across his arms and chest as he scrubs water up along his forearm, washing away dirt and dried blood as best he can with what little water he has available to him. He focuses on the task like he hasn't got a care in the world, like nothing horrific or traumatising has taken place.
Realising someone is approaching him, slowing down in front of him, Jesse glances up with a puff on his cigarette. It's Ronan. Smoke billows from around the cigarette pursed between his lips as Jesse peers up at Ronan with a look that's full of acknowledgement, yet unreactive; that same eerily indifferent calmness. Turning his attention back down to what he's doing, he remarks around his cigarette with a curt casualness that's entirely out of place with the whole situation: ]
'Sup?
β² closed to kavinsky
[ On the very outskirts of the makeshift camp set up by all the crew, away from the bustle of crew members and the grim reminders of everything that led up to the ship crashing, Jesse loiters in near darkness, smoking one of his last cigarettes. The only light thrown on him comes from the camp itself, dim and indistinct; the tip of his cigarette glows red and bright in the murky shadows with each drag.
That shock-induced apathy hasn't really lifted. As he stands on the edge of the camp, he watches the camp from this safe distance with an impassive casualness. Disconnected from it all, like a spectator to a situation that he's watching on a screen rather than a part of. That's not to say there isn't an endless hum of trembling anxiety trapped beneath the surface, waiting to tear through his bubble of indifference; that's not to say that his hands aren't constantly sweaty, or that his heart isn't constantly racing. But he seems disconnected even from that.
He stands slouched on the spot, hand shoved in his pocket, other hand bringing his cigarette up for a drag and then dropping away to his side with a flick of ash. It's like he's standing on a street corner and not on the edge of a camp that's stranded on a planet on the edge of the universe. However, a noise nearby has Jesse snapping his head towards it, eyes suddenly alert and sharp. He exhales a plume of smoke, shoulders tensing up while he peers into the darkness. Another noise, like a twig snapping under someone's shoe. ]
...Hey, who the fuck's there, yo?
That shock-induced apathy hasn't really lifted. As he stands on the edge of the camp, he watches the camp from this safe distance with an impassive casualness. Disconnected from it all, like a spectator to a situation that he's watching on a screen rather than a part of. That's not to say there isn't an endless hum of trembling anxiety trapped beneath the surface, waiting to tear through his bubble of indifference; that's not to say that his hands aren't constantly sweaty, or that his heart isn't constantly racing. But he seems disconnected even from that.
He stands slouched on the spot, hand shoved in his pocket, other hand bringing his cigarette up for a drag and then dropping away to his side with a flick of ash. It's like he's standing on a street corner and not on the edge of a camp that's stranded on a planet on the edge of the universe. However, a noise nearby has Jesse snapping his head towards it, eyes suddenly alert and sharp. He exhales a plume of smoke, shoulders tensing up while he peers into the darkness. Another noise, like a twig snapping under someone's shoe. ]
...Hey, who the fuck's there, yo?
β² closed to andyr
[ A few days have passed since the crash, in whatever way that "days" can be defined on this alien planet. Where Jesse, during the first couple of days, had been eerily apathetic in the face of so much trauma and terror, that shock has been slowly subsiding, giving way to a benumbed yet anxious helplessness rotting away inside of him. The only thing for it has been to keep busy, and god knows there's plenty to do. Not that Jesse is skilled in any of the areas needed most, but if Mr. White taught him anything outside of manufacturing meth and applying himself, it's taking inventory.
So, that's what he's been doing: throwing himself into the task when and where he's needed. Taking stock of the supplies salvaged by noting each item down on a clipboard, and moving said supplies to designated inventory areas. He's an exhausted wreck, having barely slept, barely eaten, but keeping busy keeps the churning storm of helpless panic all knotted up inside him contained.
It's when the stocktaking hits a lull in productivity, while those in charge work out how to inventory new supplies recovered from the Moira, that Jesse, bitten with a desperate nicotine craving, heads through the makeshift camp to find a secluded spot. He hovers near the edge of a cluster of tents, cigarette pursed between his lips and lighter igniting the tip, and it's when he draws in a deep, grateful hit of cigarette smoke that his eyes land on a familiar face. Andyr, sitting alone. A face Jesse hasn't been able to forget. Unspeakable horrors he hasn't been able to forget. Jesse hangs back, loitering in the dim shadows, wondering if he ought to approach the guy at all. And then, eventually, he hesitantly starts towards Andyr. ]
Hey, man.
[ An equally hesitant greeting as he comes to a stop at a respectful distance from Andyr. ]
So, that's what he's been doing: throwing himself into the task when and where he's needed. Taking stock of the supplies salvaged by noting each item down on a clipboard, and moving said supplies to designated inventory areas. He's an exhausted wreck, having barely slept, barely eaten, but keeping busy keeps the churning storm of helpless panic all knotted up inside him contained.
It's when the stocktaking hits a lull in productivity, while those in charge work out how to inventory new supplies recovered from the Moira, that Jesse, bitten with a desperate nicotine craving, heads through the makeshift camp to find a secluded spot. He hovers near the edge of a cluster of tents, cigarette pursed between his lips and lighter igniting the tip, and it's when he draws in a deep, grateful hit of cigarette smoke that his eyes land on a familiar face. Andyr, sitting alone. A face Jesse hasn't been able to forget. Unspeakable horrors he hasn't been able to forget. Jesse hangs back, loitering in the dim shadows, wondering if he ought to approach the guy at all. And then, eventually, he hesitantly starts towards Andyr. ]
Hey, man.
[ An equally hesitant greeting as he comes to a stop at a respectful distance from Andyr. ]
β² closed to j
[ It's late, dark. Half the camp is asleep, or at least trying to sleep, in their cramped little tents and makeshift shelter fashioned out of salvageable materials from the Moira. Jesse isn't asleep, though. Sitting outside his tent, he's chewing on his fingernails anxiously in between taking drags of his cigarette, looking this way and that. Seeming to be looking out for someone. That someone being Daisy. He hasn't seen her and he doesn't know where she is, and he can't seem to contact her over the MID. He's worried. She knows where his tent is, though, having camped with him in it the first night of the crash. It's why he's sitting here waiting for her, looking out for her: maybe she'll show up.
As he takes another edgy drag of his almost-finished smoke, everything about him seeming restless and fidgety even though he's sitting still, he throws a glance the other way and spots J up ahead. Heading towards him, it would seem. ]
As he takes another edgy drag of his almost-finished smoke, everything about him seeming restless and fidgety even though he's sitting still, he throws a glance the other way and spots J up ahead. Heading towards him, it would seem. ]
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Dude... It doesn't make you like him if you, y'know, beat off. I mean, what if the person you're thinking about is someone you really into? Or love? Or who loves you? They'd want you to beat off thinking about 'em.
[ He looks ahead of him and takes a drag of his smoke. Only natural Ronan is going to feel sick about Kavinsky thinking of him like that, after the things Ronan has told Jesse he's done. So, changes the direction of the conversation: ]
Fuck that guy. C'mon, let's do another bump, then find something to demolish.
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The look of disgust on his face probably says enough about that.]
Yeah. Let's.
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So, Jesse is silent for a few moments while sniffing and wiping his nose in between a drag of his cigarette. His nose is starting to feel a little numb. He's already itching for another bump. He's probably walking faster than he realises, brimming with energy. And, unable to stand the silence because it's so loud in his coked out head, he finds himself starting to ramble, his words coming out faster than they normally do: ]
No way could I do the whole Catholic thing, man. Y'know, having all that guilt about stuff that ain't even your fault. Wanting things that just come natural to you but feeling like there's always some big, scary guy standing over your shoulder, watchin' your every move. [ Another pinching wipe of his nose, another sniff. ] I mean, how d'you know when it's enough, yo? Y'know, praying for forgiveness and all that? Or doing the whole⦠contrition thing or whatever it was you said it's called? How do you know when you've done enough to put things right? 'Cause it just seems to me like God's just endlessly pissed off at everything you think or do or say. I don't get the point in that. It's like⦠[ A pause to take a drag of his smoke. ] Seems to me like it doesn't matter what you do, doesn't matter how much you try to make up for your sins or whatever. It's just never gonna be enough and you're just never gonna be good enough for this God you gotta endlessly please. Don't you don't sick of it? Just being like⦠endlessly beaten up by this God? Don't it make you feel worthless?
no subject
No. It doesn't make me feel worthless at all.
[He's not sure how Jesse would even come to that conclusion.]
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[ Jesse isn't even remotely aware that he's insulted Ronan through any of his spiel. That much is probably obvious with how genuine he actually sounds despite his coked-up motormouth. ]
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If your mom says, "Don't put your hand on the hot stove," is she saying that because she doesn't care about you, or is it because she's trying to protect you?
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She doesn't care.
Look, if you're tryna get me to understand God or whatever by using my mom as an example, you ain't gonna get anywhere.
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[And that's about all the hand-holding Ronan intends to do as far as theological discussion goes. He takes a running start before launching a kick at the ground, shooting dirt and rocks high into the air. Amusing!]
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Jesse is taking a final drag of his cigarette before tossing it off to the side while Ronan kicks playfully at the ground. ]
Whatever. [ Stooping down to snatch up a rock from the ground. He stands tall again, without missing a beat with walking. ] Guess there's no point wondering about any of it, really, even if the whole guilt thing that comes with religion confuses the hell outta me. Ain't like there's any God out there interested in bothering with my sinful, insignificant ass. [ And he's lobbing the rock as hard as he can into air, the rock sailing out of sight into the dimness, like a little boy throwing rocks just for amusement. ] I'm goin' to Hell, anyways, whether God exists or not.
[ The rock seems to hit something metallic; there's a dull thunk noise ahead in the distance, followed by consecutive metallic thuds after that as the rock bounces off whatever it is. ]
Yo. Think that's a piece of the ship up ahead.
no subject
The metallic sound is much more interesting. Ronan perks up and takes off in that direction, shouting into the darkness:]
Fuck yeah, let's blow it up!
no subject
He launches into a run after Ronan, the beam from his flashlight bouncing and slicing through the darkness. Up ahead, the beam cuts across something large and bulky and metallic looking. Jesse comes to a skidding stop when he's close by, shining the light all across the large chunk of debris. Frayed wires and jagged metal jut and dangle and poke out in all chaotic angles; it's a piece of debris that's beyond any kind of repair.
It's a dreadful sight, really; a dreadful reminder that the ship is well and truly fucked for any foreseeable future, and so is he and Ronan and everyone else that's stranded along with them on this fucking planet. But Jesse is letting out a laugh. What's even the point in dwelling on how fucked they all are? Being amped on coke makes that dismissive attitude come even easier. ]
Check it out, yo! [ Said with conversational, scheming wonderment while he pans the flashlight slowly around across the piece of wreckage. ]
no subject
Just think...
[There's a sick, wicked little smile spreading over his lips.]
We were ten seconds away from having our guts shredded by something like this.
no subject
He scrunches his face up at what Ronan says, like "huh??" But again - the coke seems to be his main point of focus. And maybe - maybe - he's honestly getting used to Ronan saying weird, creepy shit. ]
Trust you to get all creepy morbid, you fucking weirdo.
[ Retorted like he might as well be rolling his eyes rather than actually disturbed by Ronan's morbid sense of humour. ]
no subject
We're gonna snort this whole damn thing tonight, aren't we.
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[ 'Cause they may not fucking end up living at all now they're stuck here, so why hold back, right? ]
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[There's something delicious about stealing from a dream thief. Though he also suspects that Kavinsky doesn't mind.]
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You better steal more.
[ It's like he wants to get high with Ronan again. ]
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You're lucky I like you.
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But also picking up on Ronan being seemingly offended with that raise of his brows: ]
Hey, look, man, I'm just saying. I'm enjoying gettin' high with you. Be cool if we could do it more, yo, that's all.
[ Also, though: yes. It is Jesse's addiction talking. But he does also mean what he just said. ]
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Don't worry, shitweasel. I'll keep the coke coming as long as it's fun for me.
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So, quit bein' a creepshow teddy bear and let's have fun, then, cueball.
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Let's. Are you gonna hit it or just keep staring at it?
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Ladies first.
[ Teasingly lobbed at Ronan with a boyishly amused look on his face. ]
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SCREAMS hardly any of jesse's icons of his asshole face are appropriate for this HAHA
the icon struggle is real
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