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Entry tags:

tron: rinzler (crau)

[OPEN]

Who: Leonardo Watch and YOU and your restroom(s)
When: Right now
Where: Anywhere there's a bathroom.
What: Leo is cleaning the toilets, including yours. Yes, you're reading that right.
Warnings: Secondhand embarrassment........ rip Leo.

[It's been a crazy few weeks. Or a crazy year, as it turns out. In between the crash, the time shenanigans, and.... everything else, it's been pretty weird. But that weirdness doesn't stop when the ship gets up and running again. No, it continues with one young man, who is going from bathroom to bathroom (or trying to get access to your deck) and....... cleaning toilets?]

[Yeah, that's right. With a scrubber in hand and a bucket and sponges and whatever cleaning supplies he's managed to get, it seems he's on a mission. If you're on a private deck, like the Moro, then he's just knocking on your door---]

Err, excuse me--- can I see your bathroom, please?

[Or if you're on a public deck, (especially the Nomo deck) or anywhere with a public restroom, this poor kid is getting down on his hands and knees to scrub the toilets clean, or in the shower stalls scrubbing futilely. As you come in and bear witness to this ridiculousness, he--- he raises a stained glove (you don't wanna know what it's stained with) and squawks, looking particularly emotionally destroyed]

I'M SORRY, YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE---!

[Please don't go to the bathroom while he's cleaning it. Or do.]

[Why must Leo sufffer? How did this happen? Are you sure you want to know?]

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[ Showering on Nomo deck is a joyless task even on a good day ("good day" here being defined as "no hysterical teenagers chasing everyone out of the bathroom"), so it figures that today would be a bad day.

Tony comes to an abrupt halt in the doorway, squinting down at the poor, sad bastard who's been cleaning bathrooms for God even knows how long. Actually—wait, he recognizes this kid. ]

Uh. What the hell are you doing?

[ He genuinely doesn't remember that offhand bathroom cleaning joke from a month (and one year) ago. HE'S GOT A LOTTA NERVE. ]

[Life is hard for Leonardo Watch. First, he's whisked away to a fantastical spaceship for the worst Star Trek fanfic ever, then he gets pranked by Tony Stark. To be honest, Leo still has some doubts about whether that man really was the captain, but coming from New Hellsalem's lot, he really doesn't want to rock the spaceboat.]

[Still, he doesn't expect to see Tony here]

[He--- well, he can't squint, his eyes are already almost closed-- but his brow furrows.]

I'm--- cleaning, like you said.

[If he's really high up, shouldn't he have his own bathroom?] Why are you here, mister--- [Did he get his name] Mister?

[ "Like you said."

What did he say? He says a lot of shit, all the time. He can't be expected to keep track, that's outrageous. But after another long moment of staring incredulously at Leo, something seems to jog his memory. Right, right. Some joke about the airlock and captains and bathroom cleaning duty.

Bathroom cleaning duty... ]

...

Holy shit, kid.

[ How could anyone possibly think he was being serious. ]

[And what a funny joke it was. Leo remembers it like it was yesterday, even though it was technically a year ago and he's not going to think about that. All he's thinking about is getting this done so he can continue to live with glass and metal between him and space and--]

Well, yes, [Leo deadpans, not really getting his meaning.] It is a bathroom, after all.

[But he doesn't want to sass too much, so]

I'm almost done, so this should be fine, shouldn't it?

Yeah, yeah, it's great. Fantastic. Cleanest bathroom I've ever had the pleasure of seeing.

[ He literally has not even looked at the bathroom itself, but whatever. ]

Also, by the way, I'm not a captain.

[ FUCKIN SURPRISE ]

[That Mero deck's rooms didn't have their own private bathrooms was a teeny, tiny gripe that Shepard would never admit to having. After all, she'd shared open showers and toilets for years before becoming a CO — if anything, it was a return to normalcy.

But sometimes, she dreamt of not worrying someone else was using her loofa.

She's already opening the stall door for the toilet when Leo yelps, and she takes a step back, eyebrows raised.]

Uh.

Where am I supposed to go?

[Wait, it was the kid with all the energy bars and pudding pops for various children. Why was he scrubbing their cans??? He was definitely on another deck, and cleaning detail wasn't scheduled for this hour.]

...And why are you here?

[Alas, she and her loofa could never really be alone. Even Leo got his grubby hands on it, even if it's just to move it to the side so he can clean the shower, possibly with his tears]

I-- out? [He actually doesn't know] I'm almost finished, so please just be patient!

[Leo also recognizes this woman, who was out of cryo.... funny, he'd thought she'd have her own private bathroom, too. Oh well]

To clean it. I... was ordered by the captain.

[something's funny here, right]

The captain — our brand new, stickler-for-the-rules captain — personally ordered you on latrine duty? That captain?

[She gives Leo a long look — then shakes her head, as if trying to dismiss the entire ridiculous situation out of hand. Then:]

Okay. How much longer do you think until you're done?

[She can wait. I mean, a reasonable amount of time.]

That captain--- yes. [he assumes. It's been so long] Mister-- er, I don't think I got his name, but he has a goatee and tends to wear sunglasses... [He means Tony] He, er, called the captain when I met him, and.... I was ordered.

[He clears his throat, staring at the sad remainder of his job]

Um.... fifteen minutes? I'm going as fast as I can!

[Shep does a quick mental check of people who would wear sunglasses inside, and manages to narrow it down to one person at the speed of light.]

Tony Stark called the captain, and conveyed orders for you to clean toilets, and nothing else? Is that what you're telling me?

[Did he punk this kid?????? 15 MINUTES????????? FUCK YOU TONY STARK

Out of options, she shrugs, and starts rolling up her sleeves. Welp.]

Got a spare pair of gloves?

[HE SURE DID] I, ah, think I made him angry, so.... I heard them talking.

[Such is the shame of Leonardo Watch] I-- don't want to get thrown off, so I'd better do as he says.

[But he tilts his head, confused] Yes, near the door. Why?

[Putting aside all further debate, Shep pads wordlessly to the door, retrieves the gloves, and returns, pulling them on, spare scrubber in hand.]

Two people, twice as fast. Twice as fast, people can use it twice as soon.

We clear?

[Rinzler's room is on Moro deck. Rinzler's room is private, and he can count the number of people who might visit on one hex. The Ingress' turnover rate had gone a long way in reducing hostility, but holding the Moira record in crew kills still tended to earn you a little more personal space.

So that knock on the door? Definitely a surprise. All the more so when he opens it to see a strange user on the other side. Leonardo's view consists largely of dark armor and red lights, topped by an opaque black helmet currently peering down skeptically at his visitor. There's a noise, too—a grating, ticking rumble, like a damaged hard drive skipping with each spin.

...and rising a little louder as the user makes his... unusual... request. The enforcer stares, fingers twitching in annoyance. What.]

[Well, this is definitely going to end well for Leo. He's run into plenty of Tall, Dark, Menacing types in his time in New Hellsalem's lot, so he already knows this..... whoever this is... is not someone he should be pushing.]

[Unfortunately for Leo, he still believes that he'll get kicked off the ship if he doesn't get this done.]

[Commence sweating]

I--- ah, I promise I'll just be a minute, I just need to--- clean, er, your facilities.

[Please don't kill him]

[Stuttering. Sweating. Some flags might differ when it comes to users, but fear is familiar in any shape, and not entirely unwelcome. Fear at least implies some metric of sense.

The user's perseverence... less so. Rinzler takes a step forward, hunched shoulders leaning a little forward with aggressive, fluid ease. The rattling scrape is building too, and the black mask tilts down at a sharp angle. The gesture might imply some sort of question, but the program doesn't speak.]

[Leo's starting to get increasingly concerned this tall, dark, mysterious biker dude is going to murder him, but it doesn't look like he has a choice but to continue this awkward.... and one-sided conversation. Being only 5'2" himself, Rinzler pretty much towers over him, and Leo's a weenie to begin with]

[Leo wonders why this man-- is it a man, actually, he comes off more as .... data? isn't speaking, but unfortunately, he's more afraid of being tossed out the airlock or abandoned on a random planet than he is of Rinzler]

It's the captain's orders! I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have to!

[okay but since when does the captain order people to go bathroom-cleaning]

[The recent update to the ship rules make murder probably not worth the effort. Then again, they say absolutely nothing about maiming. He'd been half-expecting the user to bolt at his approach, but it's more stubborn than he expected.

Or, possibly, more desperate. The yelped out excuse draws a derisive skip of sound, but the program's advance pauses, helmet fixing in a long, flat stare that looks at least slightly less threatening than before.

If just about as annoyed. No, really, what?]

[That's Leo, stubborn and desperate. That last noise sounded almost condescending-- knowing Leo's luck, it probably is.]

[And, it's hard to tell from the lack of voice and also complete lack of a face, but Leo's pretty sure he's getting judged hardcore right now.]

If I don't do this, I could be thrown off of the ship! [not that Rinzler would care.] Trust me, I don't want to do it, either...

[It's your life or your dignity, Leo. Pick one.]

[Or neither]

[Rinzler is at least growing more skeptical. The new captain might claim a stronger sense of discipline, but Rinzler's yet to see any of the user-admins here actually punish a breach of function. Or send anyone to clean inside the rooms.

Some sort of spying attempt? Unlikely; the admins could demand inspection at any time without a proxy. Plus, this glitch doesn't seem up to that task. More data required.

To the user, Rinzler only angles his mask further, frame still squarely in the doorway. On the bright side, he seems to be distracted from the murder. On the less bright side... no, he still doesn't care. [retry]?]

[If only poor, naive, Leonerdo knew this. If only he hadn't gotten punked by Tony Stark, Ironasshole]

[But sadly, he had. And now he's at an impasse - a terrifying program is staring him down and not letting him at the washroom he desperately needs to clean. On the plus side, he doesn't seem as threatening. But on the other hand--]

Please! I'll be quick, I promise.

[There's a ticking, glitching scrape of irritation. Now the user's started looping? This is pointless. And annoying. Decision made, Rinzler turns halfway away...

...before one red-lit hand flashes out in an attempt to grab Leonardo's upper arm, shoulder, or shirt collar. Rinzler's not picky. He is, however, very strong.]

[ Showering at off hours is a pattern he’d drilled in at the police academy for a few good reasons, all of which are a lot less applicable on a ship chock full of paranoid loners and mavericks. But old habits die hard, and the rare occasions that it nets him a few minutes of privacy during the few minutes a day that he’s naked and unarmed makes it more than worth the trouble. ]

Wow. [ He concedes the ground with the outburst, holding his hands up with a vaguely taken-aback expression. ]

Take it easy, I didn’t know you were in here.

[Sadly, he'll get no privacy today. Hopefully, Dick's still clothed, otherwise this might be traumatizing for the both of them. Mostly Leo.]

[In any case, Dick's got company in the form of one frazzled teenage boy, now waving a dirty sponge]

Er--- I'm nearly done, so I just don't you want you to get dirty! It's.... pretty bad!

[Help]

I think there’s a good chance you’ll be in the cretaceous period before you hit bedrock. [ Unscheduled interruption notwithstanding, he is not without sympathy. Rather than take the cue to leave he leans against the door, COMPLETELY FULLY CLOTHED because there are kids around, gosh. ]

This is seriously the job they have you doing?

I, well, I'm doing my best.... [Thankfully. The site of Dick's ripped body might have caused Leo to swoon!!! Just kidding, he would have been mortified.]

It's not my job, but I... [was tricked by Tony Stark and Nathan Drake because they are dicks and Leo's regular life means their lie was believable to him]

[he grimaces, because life is hard for Leo] was told by the captain I had to do this, because, I, er, questioned.... one of his subordinates.

[That sounds legit, right?]

[ Well, that's not quite the answer he was expecting. He stews on that idea in for a moment, visibly frowning. Trying to picture a kid who'd take to toilet duty with this kind of gusto mouthing off to an officer. ]

What exactly does that mean?

Well... I didn't realize how important he was, I guess. The captain ordered me to do it after talking to him... he, er, had a goatee and glasses.

[He didn't even get the guy's name, what a chump]

Has this never happened before?

I wouldn't be the guy to ask... [ The truth is any number of hapless teenagers could have been pressed into shouldering the burden of the ship's dirty work for all the attention he's been paying to his surroundings lately. It's an unfortunate reality he's suddenly not comfortable with. ]

But last I checked raising an honest question wasn't grounds for this kind of punishment. What did you say that got him so steamed?

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MERO DECK BATHROOMS

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lmk if leo's noticing too much and i'll edit!

Nah, you're fine! Let me know if you need more to go on from Rinzler; he can be a pain.

you're fine too, don't worry!

\o/

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...and then I lost the tag for a month. >.< Huge apologies, and no worries if you wanna drop it.

Nomo Deck

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