Cúrre (
hownkai) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-01-01 12:09 am
( january intro log )
Who: Everyone
When: January 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Emiri
What: The crew finds themselves on the planet of Emiri
Warnings: None, but please label anything you do that needs a warning
When: January 1st and on
Where: The Moira + Emiri
What: The crew finds themselves on the planet of Emiri
Warnings: None, but please label anything you do that needs a warning
I N T R O L O G |
"I used to live in a room of mirrors, and all I could see was me..."
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"That's right. I'm from the early 21st century, 2013 exactly." She gestures slightly, suddenly far more present and focused than she has been since entering the bar. "The amount of our planets history... It's inconceivable. People spend lifetimes studying a single era or a single country and there are still things being discovered or disproved."
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"Earth civilization is so varied, even from my point of time. I can't imagine throwing in two additional planets with their own individual histories." She makes a face, feigned indignation. "I imagine it was something like an overview. This war happened, this king lost their head, perhaps a few of the particularly good scandals."
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sorry miles.
Not that anyone would believe her if she went back home. There had already been a Mad Croft. A thought suddenly occurs, "Barrayar... This is a ridiculous question, but do you know a." She has to stop and think a moment, trying to remember the proper name. "Lieutenant Ivan Vorpatril?"
don't feel bad for him, feel bad for ivan
"Vorpatril, you say? Tall, dark, annoyingly handsome, not too bright? That Vorpatril?"
sorry ivan
"He was tall and dark," she says with a slight nod, "I'm afraid our meeting was too brief for me to form an opinion on looks and intelligence." And also she was delirious. "He was kind enough to help me find the med bay though."
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"That's the one. Tactless git though he can be, he's a gentleman. Mostly." Miles' grin takes on a wicked twist. "He's my cousin."
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"Nearly shot him with an arrow," she tells him, entierly resigned to whatever her fate might be.
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"An arrow?" he repeats in between giggles, slapping at the bar. "You mean like with a bow? Good god, woman, what kind of archaeologist are you?"
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Yamatai looms. Ice capped peaks and the smell of smoke, the string of the bow biting into her fingers as she sited down the arrow. The smile feels painful on her face and she realizes she was in mid gesture. She settles her hands around her glass, tipping her head to let her hair fall forward into her face.
"It was an unusual day."
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"Sounds like it," he says blandly, turning his glass on the bar. He deliberates a moment before continuing. He doesn't want to make her feel any more alarmed or threatened than she already is. "So what's a usual day for you?"
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"I don't actually know anymore," she says, it feels like a confession, "I was shipwrecked, just before I was brought here. It couldn't have been more than... A week? Four days?" She tries for a laugh, but it comes out choked, "Odd, that such a short period of time can feel so much longer."
Yamatai's mountains cast a shadow over the entire island. Strange that not feeling the wind or hearing the birds could throw her off so completely.
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Images of Dagoola come rushing back, his eyes going distant, oddly still. That mutable hell of a prison dome, expanding and shrinking, endlessly fucking with them, no day, no night, no way to mark the passage of time save for the rat-bar drops and even those they kept irregular, just to strip them of any sense of time, to any end to it. Infinity indeed.
Miles draws in a sharp breath and that distant look clears from his face, althoug the smile has mostly faded. "So, what's it look like from the other side?"
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She watches him intently instead, focused and serious even as she considers his question.
"It looks the same as it did from the inside," she says with a grim finality, "The only thing that changes upon reflection is me."
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"And what does that look like?" he asks mildly, quietly curious. "What do you see now?"
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"...Like Hell." It sounds so horribly melodramatic, she can't help the soft, choked laugh that escapes her. She keeps going anyway, "Like dying slowly." But she hadn't died, had she. She had done what was necessary to survive. "I did almost die. I don't even know how many times, I stopped counting after the first-" Her hand presses against her stomach, phantom pain of a mostly healed wound. "There's parts I just. Don't remember. Moments where I would black out and then come back to myself somewhere else entierly."
She takes a long drink, trying to keep the words back, this is entierly too much to tell a complete stranger. She sets her nearly empty glass down and the words tumble out, quiet and hurt, "I never forget about the killing."
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"You never do," he says on an exhale, frowing down at his glass. "And sometimes the rest comes back to you later. Much later. Jury's still out on whether that's a good thing or not." After a moment's consideration he tosses back the rest of his gin and tonic and sets the empty glass down with a sharp inhale. That'll probably prove to be a mistake in about fifteen minutes, but it's a kind of solidarity to offer. That isn't enough, though, when she's offered so much in unexpected confidence. And besides that, it's hard to watch her retreat into herself like that. He's only just met her, barely knows her, but hell does she leave an impression, and Miles finds himself wanting to see what she's like under all that trauma and self-defense.
"I did die, once," he offers, his tone almost casual. Certainly not with gravity. "Not all that long ago. And as someone who's skirted death more times than I can count, no matter how fast or slow, dying is worse. It's always worse." This is a rare topic for Miles in that it's one he's rarely spoken about, been totally reluctant to with almost everyone. But it seems appropriate, here. "At least when you escape death, you get that neat little adrenaline rush as a souvenir. When you die, all you get is..." He spreads a hand with a one-shouldered shrug. What does he say -- humiliation? One last jab at your dignity? Last moments seized with nothing but fear and desperation? And what does he say for the deficit it left behind, the missing memories and swapped out body parts? Miles shrugs again, as if to shake it all off. "You don't get much."
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Roth, dying slow in her arms. Grim falling with a last defiant shout. Alex's smile and god, she knew he was terrified even as she let the door slam shut behind her. And now a veritable stranger, back from the dead, and nothing to do with her, but still oh, still. Why was she still alive. Grief rips through her, knocks the breath out of her and for a dizzying moment she thinks she's really going to lose it right in the middle of the bar.
She lets out a slow, shuddering breath, closing her eyes. "Well," she says, looking up at him again, "That does make sense."
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"Just so," he murmurs. Perhaps the bar is not the best place for Lara to be right now either. Whatever's underneath seems too fresh, too raw. His expression softens slightly, and he leans in. "Would you like to go somewhere else?"
He intends to escort her wherever -- her room, the library, some other quiet place -- it just seems to him like the public atmosphere of a bar is a tad too exposed for her mood right now. It might've been for him.
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She nods, pushing herself off her seat and away from the bar. "Yes, that may be for the best."
Her voice sounds a bit distant even to herself. Her legs feel unsteady under her, but she stays on them and doesn't sway when she move towards the door. Miles making any move to join her will be a surprise. "Will you get in trouble if you leave?"
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He can always text Jacky to ask her to cover his shift, but bartender isn't the most vital position on the ship. They can do without him for a little bit. He's pretty sure there's somewhere else he needs to be more. Miles looks up at her, watching and ready to extend a hand, but she seems alright. Instead he waves her on with a muted gesture of one hand, following her out of the bar. "Where would you like to go?" he asks, the question plain and simple. Wherever you want, Lara, he'll make sure you get there alright.
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"I don't know." Not entirely true. A lot of answers spring immediately to mind, but none of them are even remotely possible. Not while they're here. "The observation deck."
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