McDonell Benedict "Kazuhira (和平)" Miller (
warandpeace) wrote in
thisavrou_log2016-10-18 01:37 am
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Who: Kazuhira Miller | Various
When: Month of October
Where: Moira | The Mini Colony
What: Various
Warnings: slavery, references to past pet death
Open | Mini Colony
Closed to Venom Snake | Training Sim
Closed to Harry Hart | Harry's Workshop
When: Month of October
Where: Moira | The Mini Colony
What: Various
Warnings: slavery, references to past pet death
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[Once he's been settled on the ship for a little bit most of the agitation is finally soothed out of his system by easy tasks he can fall into. Cleaning his room. Paperwork. Considering what weapons might be needed for the ship. Attempting to write a song and tearing up every attempt (not out of anger, but rather that he's gotten rusty). Eventually he just goes to the Training Sim room and, of all the damn things, summons up a table and two stools. Just those things. Otherwise the room remains tragically plain.]
[He goes to Snake, asks to borrow DD. He takes Mama and DD back to the training sim room, and spends the next couple of hours teaching them a very basic command. Then he calls Venom in himself.]
[That's how he'll find him, a real plastic cup of water sitting on an artificially generated table. He's sitting there eagerly, ignoring the two dogs. DD sitting dutifully, Mama laying slumped on her side looking as lazy as possible.]
I've been practicing. [He announces cryptically.] Have a seat.
[Sometimes that determination requires a little bit of conniving.]
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He comes back to the Moira shrouded in a satisfying fatigue, and doesn't think much of why Kaz would need to borrow DD (he knows the company helps his XO, as much as Kaz is loathe to admit it). The grime from spending a prolonged amount of time in the company of the ill is washed away in the shower, and Venom enjoys, for the first time in a bit, the relative quiet of an empty room with nothing but his cassettes to keep him grounded.
Venom floats through the first few repetitions of The Man Who Sold the World, then comes back down to reality when Kaz calls him over the MID again.
This longwinded preamble is just a setup to say that, yes, Venom looks fairly relaxed when he strides into the training room, package in tow that he'd picked up right as he was leaving his room to meet his friend here. There's something profoundly funny about being called into an artificial room with just a table and two dogs, as if Kaz has called Venom in for an interview, but Venom doesn't react much to it aside from a faint quirk of his lips while he pulls out his chair to settle on. ]
I can see that. [ The blood-red bionic lifts up, indicating that Kaz wait a moment before he presses on to the matter at hand. ] I've got something for you, first.
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[
Please don't let it be a dead dog.]How did it go? [He might as well ask. It's odd for him not to be there for a mission's success. There's an oddly absent feeling that comes with that, their usual involvement practically reduced to "how was your day at work, dear?" A hard dynamic to adjust to. But he would make due.]
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[ Understatement. He follows that up with a brief: ] But we got the job done. [ Which is the most he can say about it, and the most he can hope for— that things are done and will remain over with, that their largely civil intervention was enough of a deterrence.
It's strange, on his own part, that he's done something without Kaz's guiding hand, but there are bound to be discrepancies in routine. Expecting Kaz to consistently provide him with radio assistance the way things were on Mother Base would be ludicrous, not to mention far too much for his XO to handle.
He fixes Kaz with one of his mile-long looks, one that palely attempts to gauge a reaction or an expression, before setting his package on the table: Kaz's old kiseru, nestled in paper wrapping. ]
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[Even if it's slightly discordant. If the course of history kept as it was anyway, he'd have lost Miller's aid anyway.]
[Rather than linger on that thought, his mind register's what's been presented on the table. His kiseru. Something he hadn't had on him when he ended up here, nor something he replace. He didn't use it as much anymore on the Diamond Dogs' base as a matter of convenience so he'd not thought of it. But now he had the ease of use that came with two hands, and just having it was a nice note of normalcy in a place that was so excruciatingly abnormal that adjustment was a constant battle.]
[He gives V a tightlipped, polite and curt smile, a nod of gratitude to go with it.] Thank you.
[He almost feels bad about what he's going to do as he puts it in his overcoat pocket, lovingly wrapped in that paper to protect it.] What happened to the test subjects? Have a seat. [Kaz's already tugging off his gloves to get ready.]
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In any event, Venom feels like he's being met with some unknown resistance ('have a seat', as if he really is being sat down for an appointment). He raises a brow at the procedures, but he doesn't articulate them. ]
They've been moved to a secure area for treatment. Medics are on the case of reversing the negative effects.
[ Venom watches Kaz pull off his gloves, and puts two and two together. ] ...We're arm wrestling?
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You did good.
[He's sure that Venom doubts it, but he'll say it anyway. Words of encouragement he doesn't know whether or not they'll be accepted. He feels like Snake needs them more than he'd admit (Kaz also suspects he might be projecting).]
[With a light thump, his elbow comes to rest on the table.] That's what I was hoping. If you'll have me.
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But first: ] Not half as well as you.
[ One man liberating a coalition of slaves is daunting work. He delivers his verdict with a quick ghost of a smile (Venom might have taken the mantle of a legend, but it's always been the case that the people around him have allowed for that to happen), before following Kaz's lead and linking hands. ]
Say when.
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[The observation earns another nod of thanks and a deep breath, priming himself.]
I have the room set to time this. So hopefully if I fail, I can improve later. [Thirty seconds. He just needs to be able to last thirty seconds.]
Three. Two. One. Go.
[He presses his artificial hand into Venom's with all the effort he can, the dents his fingers' tight hold actually visible beneath their pressure thanks to the nature of his prosthetic. He tries to not let it distract him.]
[Thirty. Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight. Twenty-seven. He counts down in his head instead. Focusing. Holding steady.]
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It's not an easy task, no (Kaz wasn't kidding when he said he's been practicing), but Venom isn't straining quite as much as his friend is. He is, in fact, still trying to get a read on Kaz, contrasting things he's heard from previous conversations (these competitions being important) with his current behavior.
The seconds tick by, and after ten or so of them float on, Venom slowly starts his white-knuckled retaliation to Kaz's side of the table. ]
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[Seventeen. Sixteen. Fifteen. Fourteen. He breaths through tight teeth, and the earnest, weighty exhale of air afterwards is nearly vulgar.]
Hhhg... [Red is seeping into his pale skin, across his cheeks and forehead. Another two careful inhales are drawn through his nose. Despite the obvious work he's putting into controlling his descent his hand is slowly being pushed backwards. Down. Down. Ten. Eight. Seven. He's losing. He knows it. He's past a vital point, the one where all you can do is hold back from the table. Only the very lucky can recover fully from here.]
Nnnhg I- ff.... Yare!!
[Immediately Mama is putting her feet up on Venom's chair and looks as though she has every intention of putting her tongue up his nose.]
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The confusion lingers, stews, then boils over as soon as Kaz yells and prompts a very friendly dog to come bolting onto his lap (what the), nudging her cold, wet nose onto the flat of his cheek. ]
...Hey—
[ Shoutout to all the times DD did this to him after long excursions out to Afghanistan, except now it's being replicated by a big female husky. Venom blinks, lifts his shoulders, and most definitely eases 90% of the pressure he'd been using to wrest Kaz sideways.
He also needs to shift on his chair, because that paw came dangerously close to stepping right between his legs??? Mama please calm down. ]
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[For all that he's confused, Venom's kindliness to animals is one of his best qualities. A respect for the innocent that many wrongfully assume those in their business aren't capable of.]
[Kaz rubs his shoulder- no, that's metal -rubs his bicep- no, that's not real -rubs the muscle by his neck, working out all the uneven strain that comes with using that arm. It'll never feel right, even if he's just pleased that it feels.]
[While the dog eagerly fills Venom's face with delighted dog breath, Miller pulls out his kiseru to look at.] I still can't hold on long enough. [The words are disappointed, but the gaze directed towards the object is sentimental. Unless he's profoundly lucky, he doesn't know they would have anything like the proper tobacco for it on the Mini Colony. And he's not sure he should acquire some random spun "medicinal" plant and hope for the best.]
[But it is so nice to have.]
Mama, you can stop now.
[She doesn't stop, but she at least moves her attention to his arm.]
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With both hands free, he gently buries his fingers in Mama's neck to dissuade her. He tries to open his mouth for a protest, but she laps right at his mouth for more dog kisses... why this.
To make matters worse, his good dogson hits the betray button by similarly trotting up on the other side of Venom's knees, rearing up, and getting to work on the other side of Venom's face. Not to be outdone (and much to Venom's 'chagrin'), he keeps going even when Mama relinquishes and starts destroying a uniform sleeve. ]
Hey, come on... DD—
[ SORRY KAZ, VENOM'S GRAPPLING WITH DOGS ]
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Here. [He puts a handkerchief in front of him to take care of the slobber, and he picks up his plastic cup to drink out of.]
[Mama relents from her attack, but goes to her master and leans against his good leg (she knows the difference) as hard as she can, looking up at him with eyes that are the same shade of gold-blonde as Miller's hair. Animals oddly suited to match their owners in appearance at least.]
It looks like you had it pretty rough there for a minute. [Then the real apology, just for how confused Venom has looked through his ordeal.] I'm sorry. I thought maybe you could stand the surprise... [Being the sort of man that would surprise him with a flat cake and fireworks.]
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Venom breathes a soft laugh, almost lost under his wolfdog’s excited panting. Another quiet DD, and the big ball of fur recedes to rest his head on his master’s knee. ]
What’s all this about, Kaz?
[ Sudden arm-wrestling and dog assaults??? Venom is largely still in the dark with respect to why this is going on, but the upwards slant of his brow and the faint jauntiness that curls the corner of his mouth speak to the fact that he’s not objecting to whatever this is; if this is Kaz’s way of being playful, well, so be it.
The proffered handkerchief eventually swipes over one side of his tongue-mussed jawline, accompanied by a huff that might have sounded irritated if not for the softness in that single eye and the looseness of Venom’s posture.
God, he loves these dumb dogs. ]
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[He settles into his seat again.] I wasn't wrong. You looked pretty surprised when Mama went after you. [He looks disgustingly pleased with himself right then, the same sort of joy one would imagine he'd get if he filled Ocelot's boots with wet sand. He guesses that Venom won't fault him a scheme or two that gets him some much needed canine affection. Despite having been modeled after a soul that seems regimental and austere, he can see that friendly streak hiding under that mess that needs tending to.]
[He tries not to think of a smiling Medic who defended his good name as a commander. He does it anyway, wondering if anyone ever managed to coax him into having some fun with them.]
Maybe you can get the drop on me next time, huh? Right Boss?
[Which is more of an open request than a casual invitation.]
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After all, the guy just freed a whole colony's worth of slaves: he deserves some punking time.
A beat passes where Venom turns his brows down and looks fondly exasperated, an echo of a man faced with his own surprise 'birthday' cake (that silent "really?"). It always quiets his blood, when Kaz is easy company. ]
You're asking me if I can get the drop on someone.
[ kaz this is literally his entire job
But Venom gets it, and his smile becomes more pronounced. ]
That's dangerous, Kaz.
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I don't know. I think I probably know you and your tactics better than anyone here. You'll have to get up pretty early to surprise me.
[He absolutely knows that Snake can, but he's cocky enough to bait this bear for their mutual entertainment. Miller tips forward, elbows on the artificial table and fingers steepled in front of him. Sure, this is going to set him up for more paranoia. But generally, if he's going to be paranoid of everything already it's not terrible for some of it to go towards Snake surprising him with something he'll appreciate in the long run.]
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Is that right.
[ That blond crop of hair drifts forward, sunglasses glinting in the dim light of the sim room. Venom isn't sure if he's missed this, or if it's something he's always wanted to see in Kaz— that audacity, offered less sparingly in the past.
Either way, Venom tips his head. Equally as canine. ]
I'll see what I can do.
[ rest in peace, kazuhira miller ]
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[He doubts the boys would trust to go near them. But maybe he can at least urge them under a more stable roof, with people that they're more amenable to.]
[Maybe Ocelot was right. In a way, since he started this business, he's always been playing house. Even Liquid admits, however, soldiers have been the only decent family he's had.] I should tell you that Tretij is gone. Liquid is taking it pretty hard, understandably. I don't know how much he's told you about the future, or Solid Snake for that matter, but I'm suspecting it's not a lot. In his time his friend is dead. And I guess he came to me 'cause he knew... [There's no way to finish that sentence that's easy. No one he can solidly decide on. So he doesn't. It's funny that the man who kills him is suddenly a person that values Miller's susceptibility to emotional attachment. Especially when he tries to hide so much of the depths of that love and anger and sorrow from his own student.]
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His own feelings about the psychic aside, the fact that Eli presumably confided in Kaz about the nature of his emotions comes as a bit of a surprise. That small boy with his thin shoulders set too firmly never allowed any of the so-called adults on Mother Base to get past his world-hardened exterior— Venom's interactions with 'Liquid' have proven that the barrier is either less strictly maintained or more civilly kept, but...
...maybe it's heartening to know that the kid with all those chips on his shoulder deigned to communicate with Kaz about a commonality that Venom isn't quite in the loop about.
Which is why he tips his head. Angles his jaw, leans in across the table. ]
...He knew you'd understand. [ Venom finishes, because that's the simple truth: they've both lost enough comrades in their lives to understand the pain of loss in nearly every sense of the word. ]
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[He does know what happens to Venom. And mourns the man that died in a different timeline, in a different universe, even as he connects with the one in front of him.]
Yeah. [One sober word. An agreement. He understood, and Liquid knew that he understood. But then Kaz adds as explanation-] I don't think you're the type to say something insensitive but I do think he's still the type to be reactive and I wanted you to be careful if you were to run into him. I know you're more capable of being gentle than John... Hell, I don't think he has a soft bone in his whole body.
[He rubs his thumb over the gun calloused knuckle of his trigger finger, staring at the weathered nail rather than at Venom's face.]
It's one of the things I like better about you. [That he'd care about their feelings.]
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It couldn’t have been easy to pick up after the fragments of his dignity, to find any morsel of affection still intact for someone with Venom’s face after the ‘Truth’. But here it is, offered with fingers around fingers.
Kaz has already bled and burnt. So Venom rests his thumb along his friend’s knuckles, applies gentle pressure to reciprocate the gesture of faith. ]
I know how reactive Eli can be.
[ Let’s address this first, by the way. It’s spoken with a sliver of amusement, without the malice to make it sound condescending or disdainful; if anything, it’s a way to say that yes, he’ll make sure to tread carefully if he and Liquid ever breach the topic of Tretij.
That said: ] But I wouldn’t say I’m ‘gentle’.
[ He did rough the kid up before taking him to base, after all. Despite the fact that he knows that that’s not what Kaz means, Venom is also aware that softness never suited Big Boss, and therefore shouldn’t extend to Venom, either: softness has never been a reliable arsenal for soldiers, and softness doesn’t become a deterrent for further subduing of war.
A beat passes, where he thinks about that last bit. It's cognitive dissonance, having 'their' differences pointed out, but he understands. ] —One thing, Kaz. [ Implied is the question 'may I?' ]
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[Maybe not compared to the ship. Plenty of people have been kind to him here, but once he's gone? What will it matter? This is the person in his life that's been the best to him. When he's told people about the things that Venom Snake has done, he hasn't been lying. Venom is every bit as impressive as Big Boss. He saved him under insurmountable odds. He's been honest, blunt, did what was necessary, gentle with a wounded and painful body when John never would have. He knows Venom has had to do terrible things, because they were necessary though. Given a choice, he would have just held people together.]
[But he also knows that Venom isn't happy with his life. Knowing the future isn't necessary to realize that. It's a familiar look in his eye, the way he goes empty sometimes. Something he saw in another man a long time ago.]
[He's worried about those next words, the automatic assumption a wall is about to be raised, only permeable with constant pressure. But there's been enough that they haven't been saying.]
Yeah?
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