[closed] good job buddy

[notyetsore]

Who: Ginko and Kaworu, later Ginko and Frisk
When: Backdated to shortly after the attack; let’s say July 4 or so?
Where: Observation deck
What: Ginko is about 500% done with everything, including Kaworu’s attitude
Warnings: Talk of child death probably?? Others tba as necessary



Ever since the attack, Ginko has been struggling to accept what he did during it. Or, more accurately, what he didn’t do.

He had just hid. Frisk had died, Mettaton had died, who knew how many others, and he hadn’t done anything about it. But then… could he have if he had tried?

He didn’t have any powers, no special abilities. He’d probably be less useful in a fight than the average human, for that matter.

So… he was either a coward, or useless.

Maybe both.

Great.

Since this was something that had been on his mind pretty much consistently ever since the attack, it was no surprise that he was thinking about it when he came across Kaworu. He didn’t even notice him at first, glassy (literally) eye staring out at the expanse of stars in front of them. It was by sheer chance that he happened to look up - at which point he jumped a little, the shadowy shape of the mushi inside his now-transparent skull fluctuating in response to his surprise.

“--Um.”

He hadn’t known Kaworu could fly, but okay.

Comments

[gainedlove]

Frisk holds Ginko a little bit tighter, trying to be the steady ground he needs right now. It's hard, but they can manage. They always have before.

"'S not your fault. You don't...you don't gotta fight. Jus' stay safe...that's enough."

[notyetsore]

Ginko manages to look at them for just a couple seconds before his gaze drops to the ground, his brow furrowing and his mouth pressing into a thin line.

"I... I'm tired of not doing anything." His voice is so quiet as to be barely audible. "I-- I couldn't even help you."

[gainedlove]

Frisk frowns a little, and puts both hands on Ginko's shoulders before pulling back, just enough to look Ginko in the eye.

"'S not your job."

It's theirs.

"You just...gotta keep yourself safe. Okay?"

[notyetsore]

...He doesn't believe them. He can't, because if he can't help anyone, what's the point of even having him around?

There must be more he can do.

He stands there for a few seconds, focusing on not starting to cry again. When he does pull back, scrubbing at the tears dried onto the smooth glass of his face, he speaks up again, almost as quietly as he had before. "Kaworu said that I should... ask you about something."

[gainedlove]

Frisk's brows furrow a little, and they try to ignore the way their chest tightens. He hadn't answered any of their replies...but he sends Ginko to them?

"He...he did?" Frisk swallows, quietly reaching for Ginko's hand. "What about?"

[notyetsore]

Ginko bites his lip, glass clinking against glass, and curls his fingers around Frisk's. "He said that... that if he had been there when you... got hurt, it would have been a big risk for him to try to help you. But he wouldn't say why, because he said I... wasn't listening to him."

This is about you. He couldn't say for sure how accurate Kaworu's assertion was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't entirely wrong, even if the thought hadn't occurred to him before Kaworu said it.

Again.

Why did he keep doing things like this?

[gainedlove]

Frisk frowns a little, their gaze lowering slightly and their expression sliding into puzzlement as they think. A risk for him...here...? If he meant in his world, that would make sense, but...

"But...it should be safe here. Th' scientists aren't here, they're just back at his home..." Frisk looks back up to Ginko, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "You were listenin' t' him, you just don't know why he's different from us. So you didn't know how t' listen."

[notyetsore]

He answers with an uncertain hum, staring down at the floor. "...Maybe..."

When he finally looks up, he adds, very quietly, "Do... you know why he's different, then?"

[gainedlove]

Frisk nods, looking oddly solemn.

"He's...it's sort of complicated. People like us, we're Lilims. We're all separated an' can get lonely an' hurt eachother. But we can make stuff, too, 'cuz we can think of stuff an' change things around us. But Kaworu isn't a Lilim, he's an Angel."

Frisk glances down, their free arm swinging anxiously.

"He's...he's all one person, so he doesn't get lonely or sad. But he doesn't get how talkin' t' people works, neither. 'Cuz his brain isn't made that way. He knows we get upset, but he doesn't know how t' not do that."

[notyetsore]

Ginko's brow furrows slightly as they explain. He can't say it makes a whole lot of sense to him, but... he guesses he gets the general idea. Kaworu isn't the same as they are. He doesn't need other people, and he can't understand how they work.

So he... really just didn't know how to keep from upsetting people. Ginko feels his gut twist with guilt, like maybe he shouldn't have gotten upset with Kaworu at all, if he didn't know how he was supposed to act.

He manages to nod slightly. "...He... said that it wasn't his place to interfere... is that what he meant, then?"

[gainedlove]

"I dunno...he. He says a lot of weird stuff, an' it's hard t' get all of it." They grip their sleeve a little tighter, and then look down at their MID. They don't even know if he read their messages since he woke up...should they try again?

They pause for a few long moments, hesitating, before they tap out a careful message. They need to try, for Ginko's sake. "I'm...I'll ask, okay?"

why did u tell ginko its not safe to help here? its not like youre home with the sientists and stuff.

[braceforimpact]

Kaworu hasn't moved from the spot Ginko left him, although his interest has wandered from the stars. He's staring pensively at the floor, ruminating past events and a prior lifetime. He spends a lot of time thinking about that. More than he'd ever let on, in fact. His MID's alert is a little bit of a surprise--he wasn't expecting a response that quickly.

...right to business this time. They must be very bothered by what he said.

I told him it was dangerous because it is the truth. It's not in my interests to help the Moira if it can be avoided. I don't belong here. Anyway, the old men are not the only ones who want God's power for themselves. I have no desire to become someone else's tool.

[notyetsore]

Ginko swallows down another surge of distress as he looks over Kaworu's response. He really just... doesn't care what happens to anyone here, then? Even after having it confirmed, seeing it brought up again just makes him feel vaguely ill all over again. Not to mention...

"Does he... really think that'd happen? That the captains would do that?"

[gainedlove]

Frisk knows that Kaworu doesn't truly care what happens to the crew. In all their conversations and attempts to understand each other, that is one thing that has always been clear. Kaworu lacks the instant connection with other individuals, the empathy that Lilim possess and project onto everyone around them.

If they don't mean anything personally to him, why should he care?

Knowing that doesn't make reading this any easier, though. Not after what just happened.

Frisk's throat closes, and they have to work to even swallow. Had the Cadeuceans that attacked their family passed by Kaworu? Had he simply evaded them, allowing them to wreak more havoc?

Frisk bows and shakes their head, though to what, it's unclear. When their head raises again to start typing, their eyes are bright with tears.

what do yo mean? no one can make you do your soul stuff if you dont want to

And look what good THAT'S done.

[braceforimpact]

No? Angels are a loathsome existence to humankind. And yet they created me. Do you understand? Mankind's desire to understand and control their world is not absolute. But humans cannot create from nothingness. After all, humans are not gods.

He said almost those very words to the Instrumentality Committee not long before he found himself on the Moira.

Angels and humans... the children of Adam and the children of Lilith...

The Fruit of Life and the Fruit of Knowledge.

The two halves of God's power, which combined will transcend the laws of life and death.

My very existence is a violation of the laws of God, for the power of God is substantiated in me.

In other words, his physical power (and his right to use it) is the least of his concerns.

And he has every right to fear the consequences of such a discovery.

After all, he is the result of that very design.

* Look at what you've done.

[gainedlove]

It's not getting better.

Frisk freezes completely still, barely able to even think. This can't...he can't mean...that, right?

Frisk can't ask what Kaworu means. Not with Ginko here. He'll need to ask, he'll need to know, and there's no excuse they could give to not tell him, not with him already here, already asking about Kaworu and his problems. But if they do...

He'll hate them. He'll be afraid of them, afraid like everyone should be, that they're a liar and horrible and just playing with everyone like everything is some sick game, just like Flowey was.

But...

They have to ask.

It takes a full five seconds for Frisk to realize that the chiming sound in their ears is their own hair. That they're shivering. They can't seem to stop.

After ten more seconds, Frisk finally manages to type out a reply.

do you mean your resets

thats not

that not god is it

They pause, whimpering, before very slowly typing out the rest.

you said im not

[notyetsore]

Ginko's understanding of what's happening here is, admittedly, very limited. He's really got no idea what Kaworu is talking about, if he's honest.

But he notices Frisk's shaking, and the hesitance with which they type out their reply. His fingers curl uncertainly as he glances between their face and the messages displayed on their MID.

"...Frisk? Are you okay?"

[gainedlove]

Their head jerks up, a few glass strands of hair cracking off to fall to the floor and shatter, and they stare at Ginko with wide, terrified eyes. They open their mouth, but no sound comes out, and they shake their head before looking back down.

They can't. They can't.

What has science done

[braceforimpact]

No.

Kaworu probably should have anticipated this. Frisk is... unique, in more ways than one. But Frisk is not God. He is not God. Because--

Time alone is not sufficient to make God.

He's talking about something else.

Something related, but so far beyond the unique simplicity of Frisk's gift that such a power could be considered only a single brick in the mortar of creation.

He's talking about the power to become God.

Neither is the Ingress. But Lilim's desire to understand and control their world is the root of its creation. I do not doubt that the hearts of men, desperate and adrift, will try once more to become God.

[gainedlove]

"God is when you have seven souls and..."

Of course. They should have known. Flowey's world, the place that the God of Hyperdeath takes them to...Frisk could never have done that on their own. Not with what little power they have.

They take several long, shuddering breaths, then read over what Kaworu sent again before they reply.

why? we just want to get home

why do you think everyone would use you like that

lilims arent all that bad

[notyetsore]

Time, creation, the Ingress, God-- Ginko is still pretty much lost here. But he's also starting to get the idea that this might be far enough out of his experiences that he can't really expect to understand. Which... could be better or worse than the alternative.

So he just shifts to stand a little closer to Frisk, frowning down at the MID as he tries to decipher what's being said. Kaworu thinks he's going to be used to people can... become God? What does that even mean?

[braceforimpact]

Because what you want is out of your reach.

Even communicating through text, his words make little secret of his feelings. Even if it may be wonderful at times, there is nothing so dangerous as the human heart. A thing at once precious, fragile, and fickle... the Moira is full of such hearts, aching for a reality in which the Ingress might grant their wish.

Even then... even then, he is not saying humanity is evil. But intent is not what concerns him. For once, the meaning behind an action is irrelevant. Because there are as many forms of hope as there are human beings.

The Ingress is proof of mankind's ambition. After all, it existed before your arrival. What was its purpose then? A doorway to time and space, through which the hand of mortal life could reach to reverse the final passage through death.

And what would the makers of the Ingress do if they knew what manner of life they had accidentally brought on board their ship?

[gainedlove]

Frisk reads the message...then reads it again. Then looks up at Ginko with an incredibly lost expression.

"...why's he talkin' about th' Ingress?"

[notyetsore]

Ginko squints down at Frisk's MID, then looks up at them and shakes his head.

"I... don't know. I think he's talking about how much it can do, but... I don't know why."

[gainedlove]

"Mnn...but what's that gotta do with him?"

why does the ingress matter? we dont get it