closed;

[commontype]

Who: Eggsy and Loki
When: Today
Where: Loki's room
What: Hanging out and talking; Eggsy hopes Loki will hold and comfort him, which won't happen but a guy can dream
Warnings: None; language? because Eggsy curses


[Eggsy had been through a lot the last few weeks, and maybe it wasn't the worst he's been through, not even close, but dying sort of changes a person. He used to think if he ever 'almost' died that he'd become more reckless, wanting to take risks because you only live once, but that's not what happens. It sobers his attitude some, humbles him, and makes it hard to sleep at night.

Harry helps, he does, and he might be a super polite British type that doesn't do the comfort Eggsy thinks he needs, but he does his own thing and it honestly helps (he never thought his once-dead mentor would train him as a way of helping him cope, but there it is). At least it helps until Harry's off to work and Eggsy's alone in his room and he just needs people. There's only so many people he can go to and the one's he wants to, well, he doesn't think he should.

It doesn't stop him, though, and even though it's super early, Eggsy finds his way to Loki's room. The less people he sees, the better. It means he doesn't have to do the whole what happened to your face or what happened to your hand thing as much. It really had prepared him for what being a Kingsman would be like. Nobody would hold a service if he died, a few people might mourn him, but not many. It sounded lonely, but Eggsy knows he'd prefer it that way.

Getting into Loki's room is easy. At least he thinks it's going to be, and he's halfway across the room, heading towards one of the beds to see if Loki is in one, when he can't move.]

Well, fuck.

[He hadn't thought of that. Loki is a God and now he's stuck in the middle of his room when he's not supposed to even be in here.]

Ah, Loki, come on.

Comments

[commontype]

[He didn't know about Teddy.

A part of him wants to reconsider all this, but only for the fact that he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Then he remembers that it's just as much Billy's decision as it is his and Loki's. If they are all willing, then that's what counts. Eggsy can be a bit irrational sometimes, like most people, but he'll think this through in his own way.]

That's a lot to think 'bout, Loki. Just so you's know, I ain't all rainbows and sunshine either. You'd be decidin' you'd want to get to know me better and you ain't gonna like everythin' you see.

[He had a history, drugs, alcohol, petty theft, and maybe that wasn't the worst thing a person could do, but it was still a part of Eggsy.

But enough of that, cause Loki is touching his knee and looking at him and then totally ruining the mood. Eggsy's face falls and he shifts on the bed, sighing dramatically.]

Always been impulsive, just a little bit clearer on the fact that next time I die, I might not wake up again. [He lowers his voice, clearing his throat.] It hurt so much, Loki. Never felt anythin' like that before, almost.. almost wished I would just die cause it hurt so much.

Then I couldn't help but wonder how many people'd be sad I was gone. My mum, sis, and Harry. They'd care, but my mum and sis probably think I'm dead already. Just Harry, then. Nobody held a funeral, asked where I'd been. I didn't realize just how much I was missin' out on by not havin' more people in my life.

[He shrugs.]

I don't want to ever be in a place like that again but I'm selfish enough to want more people in my life that love me and would miss me if I ever were.

[realitywarped]

You don't know terribly much about who I was, either. I wasn't always dashing and pleasant to know. But I don't think I'd learn much about you that would change my opinion.

[He tries to pretend, usually, that he wasn't another Loki once. That he doesn't remember thousands upon thousands of crimes he committed.

A little petty crime isn't likely to bother him all that much, by comparison.]

Dying usually hurts. Not much consolation, I realise, but you're not alone in that knowledge- or in wishing to die a little faster.

[He has stories there, too, but he's not about to share them without an indication Eggsy is bothered to hear them.]

Mmm, I can't really help you with that one. I've never felt particularly like having more people in my life would cause much besides complications. My family mostly consider me a disappointment, and I have a hard time holding on to friends. I learnt a very long time ago that alone is easier, by far.

[He shrugs.]

But... I'll concede that it's nicer to have people around I can talk to. And it's... oddly warming when people are concerned for me.

[commontype]

Have you, uh, died, too? I mean, obviously you're here now, so you came back somehow, but you know what I went through?

[Because he hadn't thought, even for a moment, that it might be something that they'd have in common. It was a morbid thing, to be able to discuss dying or having died and come back with anyone else, but it was also comforting at the same time.]

Well, yeah. I think it does cause complications, and it's mostly just selfish of me. Cause I'm sure it'd be better if there were less people to worry.

[He nudges Loki with his shoulder.]

It's just nice to know there's people 'round that care.

[realitywarped]

Once or twice. Before I was here, I was... somewhere far worse. Hell, if you want the easy shorthand version. And even before that, although I don't remember the dying terribly clearly. I remember coming back, however. Lokis don't stay dead terribly easily. But the times I do remember- and the times I came terribly close and survived barely- were painful enough.

[He actually doesn't remember the death of his old self. His memories stop just short of that; he's only a copy, after all, not the original. But his younger self had erased himself entirely, because anything short of that and he could have come back if the story needed him to.]

I'm not sure it was the same precisely. We came back slightly differently to the way you did. But- yes, close enough, I suspect.

[He looks sideways at Eggsy, lips turning up in a very faint smile.]

You should know better than to count me among them, you know. Loki cares for no-one but himself, and everyone knows that.