(no subject)

[that_cost]

Who: Charlene Roberta McGee Leigh Manders
When: 6/19, afternoon (subject to change)
Where: School
What: Charlie has read Bruce's file and know's what it's like to be an itty bitty living space to a PHENOMENAL DESTRUCTIVE POWER.
Warnings: Possible mentions of Violence and Charlie's horrific life.




Charlie knows, from talking to Andrew, that there are people on board with powers. But that doesn't mean she's outed herself to everyone. Wanda and Andrew, sure, but others? Not so much. She hasn't felt a need to and if she could continue going through her time on the ship, pretending she was Normal Plain Jane Leigh Manders, she was going to.

But she'd read Bruce's file and felt the need to talk to him. It was weird, having something like this in common with people. She could relate to having something that big and that dangerous dancing just beneath her skin, knowing it could come out at the wrong moment, that wrong external stimulus that just hits her and everything is burning.

She wants to talk to him about this, so she looks or him at the school. This is a big deal, so it's making her nervous, and when she does finally find him, it takes her a moment to even say anything to him. Her hand warps around the strap of her backpack as she tries to keep herself focused on what she wants to do.

"Excuse me, sir?" Yes, she's going for polite. There isn't anything wrong with that.

Comments

[hyperkinesia]

The physics classes don't take up a lot of his time, thankfully— not that it matters much, since Bruce likes keeping busy, so he would've found a way to make it work either way. The point is, it's not always easy to find him around the classroom, especially when some of the classes are held at the science department, but this time around Charlie's in luck.

Or Leigh, as he knows her. Bruce has just finished a class and he's reviewing some material for the next one, making time before he has to go down to the mess hall for his duties. The voice coming from the doorway catches his attention, and he nods for the girl to come closer as he sits a little more upright.

"Bruce is fine." More of a request on his part than anything. Dr. Banner or Mr. Banner are weird enough, but sir really makes him feel rather uncomfortable. "What can I help you with?"

[that_cost]

"Bruce. Okay. Yeah...you mentioned that before and I..." Ugh. Rambling. Her version of, at least. So she steps into the room and finds a seat, setting her bag on the ground with a soft thump and flexing her fingers a bit, just to try to dispel some of her nervous energy.

"I read the...file about you." Yes, she is hesitant to bring it up. This is brand new territory for her, so she doesn't know where to start or how. Plowing through the conversation doesn't seem like the route to go, neither does being subtle. She tries for a middle ground.

"I wanted to say I can relate to having to fight to control something bigger and more dangerous than myself." Charlie's a small girl, couldn't hold her own in hand-to-hand combat. But once that fire got out? All bets were off.

[hyperkinesia]

Bruce sits a little more upright when she mentions the file. Not bothered or upset, simply paying more mind to the conversation now than he is the notes and books he has on the desk. Those can wait anyway; but this is hardly the first time someone comes to him after reading the file, so he's ready to hear just about anything coming from her.

What she does tell him is new as far as these conversations go, but not entirely unexpected. Bruce has met someone with issues controlling her own powers and it was difficult not to draw at least a few parallels there, just like it was difficult not to expect other people having powers that went beyond their control too.

He presses his lips a little and nods at the girl, fingers distracting themselves with a pen. "So what can you do?" Because she can do something, he's sure of that much. Whatever her power is, that's what he's asking her about.

[that_cost]

Charlie was here to talk to someone about dangerous abilities. To find something in common with someone who might just understand what it's like to feel out of control and afraid. Or at the very least, just really angry about it.

But actually bringing herself to say anything is hard, and there's a look of...something...on her face. Possibly guilt. Definitely pain that she tries to mask.

"Pyrokinesis. I can start fires with a thought. And telekinesis, but that's not nearly as strong."

[hyperkinesia]

Bruce is all too familiar with a similar flavor of guilt and pain, so although she tries to hide it, he can see it plainly on her face. In a way it's almost like looking in a mirror. But she's trying to mask those feelings, something he's not unfamiliar with either, so he acts like he doesn't see anything at all.

"Impressive." In the way hurricanes or storms are impressive. Massive, terrifying, destructive, beautiful. Not the same as his power, but capable of as much chaos and damage, possibly even more. "How well can you control it?"

[that_cost]

"Currently? I have near-perfect control." She had to distance herself from people at arrival because she was having a panic attack. She could feel the fire creeping under her skin and rattling around in her head and was so afraid she'd lose it.

So she had to leave and find space to breathe. Thank God there were people there who'd talked her down from her anxiety. They didn't even know what they did, either.

"When I was younger...a lot younger, I didn't have nearly as much. I'd set things on fire by accident, just by being upset Mom wasn't letting me play another game before bed or something."

I'm so sorry, I completely lost track of this tag!!

[hyperkinesia]

"But near-perfect still isn't complete control." He's not accusing her, rather the opposite: he's saying he understands. Near-perfect control still means he could be one violent trigger away from turing into a huge monster fuelled by rage.

He listens quietly as she explains a little more about how her power works, how difficult it was when she was a kid. Nodding, he moves to stand up, gesturing at one of the desks and the empty chair behind it. "Take a seat?"

sorry this took me forever to get back to!

[that_cost]

"No, it's really not," Charlie says, sounding almost ashamed of this. Almost. Being told repeatedly it's a Very Bad Thing and then having the wrong people far too interested in what she can do has created several issues with her regarding her ability. She doesn't like it. She doesn't want it. This is not something she would have chosen for herself. Quite the opposite.


She wants normalcy. Actual teenager experiences. Actual life experiences that don't consist of being afraid.

She sits down when he tells her to, setting her bag on the floor and watching him carefully.

"I sleep pretty badly because I've woken up too many times to the smell of smoke and burnt bed sheets. Now I'm just paranoid the wrong nightmare will set me off." Which is ridiculous, right?

np <3

[hyperkinesia]

Of course it's dangerous to not have control, but he doesn't mean it like it's her fault, because it evidently isn't. She didn't just decide to have those abilities, she certainly didn't choose to be a danger to the people around her, and telling her it's something terrible isn't going to do anything other than making her more guilty, more frustrated, more afraid.

"I know. I know what that's like." And there's nothing ridiculous about it. Nightmares can get pretty intense at times, and when one's unconscious there's no sense of control, no matter how well one might do when they're awake. "But going on little to no sleep won't really help with keeping your balance when you're awake either, so... you end up with something of a double-edged knife."

[that_cost]

"That's almost a nicer way of saying damned if I do, damned if I don't," Charlie replies, almost smiling. She wasn't sure what to expect when she went into this conversation. Part of her worried she'd actually scare Bruce off, the one person on this ship who'd understand what it was like to be a small package to a giant and problematic ability.

That's her paranoia talking. It's always talking, especially now. But he's still right there in his seat, still talking to her and understanding. So color her surprised.

"I also have the benefit of having the wrong people far too interested in what I can do, so there's missing sleep because of that, too."

Basically; what is sleep and where can she get some?

"It's bullshit. But this is the longest I've been in one place without knowing they're too close." So...yay for small miracles.

[hyperkinesia]

"That's... pretty much what it is, yes. Sorry." It's a guess, but he thinks she wants blunt honesty from him, not just comforting words. Although he'll try to offer that too, he won't hide from her the sobering and genuinely destructive and chaotic reality that is being who they are; being what they are.

"Like they say— every cloud has a silver lining." Not every cloud, not really. Some clouds are just dark and heavy and seemingly endless, and when they vanish it's as if they dissipate into thin air, and there's no outline of silver, there's no sun shining down once it's gone. Some skies are just permanently grey.

"Safety's a complicated notion for me. My safety more often than not translates into other people's safety, and not everyone is wise, smart, or scrupulous enough to know that I can't be... the monster in me can't be controlled or used as a weapon." The main flaw in Ross's belief, to think that capturing Bruce would just mean he could do as he pleased with the beast. "Things get complicated at times. When you can't trust anyone, least of all yourself, is... it's like you have no place in the world. Never mind sleep; how do you even go on living when you have nowhere to go?"

He sighs a little, pulled further back into his own memories than he originally intended. "I digress. My point is, it catches up to you, all this... running. I'm not saying that this is the ideal place either, but maybe it can be a chance for you. I won't be so dismissive as to say you're completely safe, but no one is coming for you here, and there are people you can reach out to if you need anything. Which isn't to say you should trust all of us, obviously— but still."

[that_cost]

There's a wry smirk from Charlie and a faint huff of...maybe not amusement. Maybe it's more an eyeroll without there actually being an eyeroll. She's not a huge fan of that 'silver lining' phrase.

"I think whoever coined that phrase has never really had a truly horrific day." In Charlie's world, there are dark days where everything is horrible and she's not sure she can continue, and then grey days where things aren't as bad, but they are still shitty. "Which I know sounds really jaded, but that's the best I have."

She's not depressed about her life. Angry as Hell, sure. Willing to cause Literal Hell to make sure the Shop never get the chance to do this again? Where does she sign?

She listens to what Bruce has to say next, nodding her agreement. Running is bullshit. Technically, she's still a kid, and this isn't a good life. This isn't a good life for anyone, so she gets what he's saying.

"I trust you, if that means anything. And a handful of others."

[hyperkinesia]

He smiles, dry and far from genuine. "No, I don't imagine they did."

He knows what she means there, of course, and he can't really tell her otherwise. He still remembers how he felt when he was around her age, and he didn't even have this condition yet. Life was pretty shitty back then too, and it had nothing to do with having a literal beast trapped inside of him.

"That's good," he smiles. "Not that... you don't need to trust me, obviously. But it's good that you have people here you can trust. Life's pretty horrible until you find someone you can lean on. Even without having any powers."