thisavrou_log

+ 97

Who: Anakin Skywalker (

forcechoke) & Obi-Wan Kenobi (

jedimindtrick)
When: June 5th [backdated]
Where: Personal lodging on CLF5
What: Kenobi and Skywalker reconnect with optimistic results.
Warnings: Does not guarantee optimistic results.

[ After several days getting to know the Collectives for their individual points of interest, Kenobi realizes he has little use for anywhere that isn't one of the many, many available hotel rooms. Call it self-indulgent, but one comment after another has finally conspired to have him to do exactly what's been suggested (what he would like to do, as opposed to what he should be doing) and indulge a little.

So, what does he do? He stays in.

Taking some time away from the teeming beaches and over-priced shops isn't even considered all that unbecoming of him when he's also taken some of the time to meditate, and to shower, and to read. He's taken the time to relax. These simple acts are more like a real vacation to Obi-Wan than a limitless credit card or all the sandy shores in the system could ever be.

His allowed expenses include food and shelter, and so he feels justified in paying for the comfortable room with a small kitchen and a large bed. It's silent and dimmed, open to a breeze, and most importantly, it's secluded. Few would find him here without an invite.

There are signs of him everywhere — signs that suggest how his solitary life might look. Fresh fruit sits out, recently cut and obviously eaten right from the cutting board. Books nestle together on an end table, each clearly marked because he's reading them all at once. Near the window are loose sketches, mostly of those closest to him.

He's given up his robe and his belt and his boots — each in its place — and the bed hasn't been made.

This is the simplicity he yearns for — this quiet existence where he does no harm, makes no grand decisions, merely answers to himself. This is his version of selfish. ]

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[After their revelation and making a complete fool of himself in public, Anakin has given them both a few days to calm down and think. He doesn't make much use of meditation, though he wishes he really could (and even tried!), but the space has been...nice? It's such a stark difference from home, or even the Moira, where it's problem after problem compounding on top of each other until he can't even breathe, let alone think clearly.

But even after a few days, even with Padmé here, even with Ahsoka back, he eventually finds too much of that space lonely, and all it eventually does is leave him open for a nagging bad feeling he can't place.

The best way to deal with that, he's found, is to ignore it entirely. The first place he goes isn't to Padmé, not wanting to burden her with something so seemingly inconsequential, especially when she seems to be so busy as of late, but to the one place he ~~honestly~~ thinks of first.

It doesn't take long to track Kenobi down, his signature is bright, relaxed, and happy, his Light only shining all the brighter when so unweighted. Of course, it's on the beach, and Anakin grumbles about this to himself all the way through the hallway of the hotel. He has sand in his boots and likely his hair (ugh, always his hair), and every step is an annoying reminder.

As he slips into Obi-Wan's room without so much as a warning or even a knock, that annoyance is dropped in favor of the distracting view pretty quickly. It's rare to see Obi-Wan so at ease, something he thinks, honestly he hasn't seen in years. Not in the temple, not out on location, and certainly not since the war started.]

And here, I half expected to find you at a bar instead.

[It's a different sort of relaxed altogether. One, frankly, he can't even quite fathom properly.

His boots and robe are dropped both rather unceremoniously at the door before he approaches. The sand is already everywhere, it's not like he can make that worse.]

Edited 2016-06-08 05:04 (UTC)

I notice you didn't try there first.

[ It's a safe assumption, at least, although not because it's the middle of the day. Anakin doesn't waste his time in the pursuit of anything if he can help it, so he probably didn't bother looking elsewhere.

Kenobi shrugs slightly as he drifts into the main room, his arms crossing loosely over his chest. He's very much at ease as the other man had already noticed, but he's particularly unabashed about it, too, which is a deviation from the norm. ]

Why don't you make yourself at home?

[ His eyes slip away to smirk at the boots and robe by the door. Normally he would pick everything up, set it right, but this time he doesn't bother. He finds he doesn't particularly care about the intrusion or the mess, nor does he mind the sudden appearance of company despite the fact that he'd come here to get away from people. ]

[There is a distinct difference between "people" and him. He knows this. He thinks the same the other way around (usually). He offers a small shrug in response, effortless and lazy when he doesn't feel particularly chided. Etiquette is usually Obi-Wan's purview, not his own. And as much as any beach-front hotel can be, it's effectively home.

Because home, he's finally realized, is people. Not a place, not a mission, not even always familiar. It's right here, following behind them, sitting between them, the space in the air that links them even when proximity isn't an option.

It's the same thing with Padmé, though he associates her with places more than he does anywhere else. Her apartments are where she lets her guard down, Naboo is as much a part of her as it is where her own family is: her home, the physical one, defines her as much as anything else.

With Obi-Wan, it's slightly different. It's a feeling. Just as comfortable.]

If you were at the bar, that's where I'd be.

[Simple as that.]

Anyway, if looks like you've already done that enough for the both of us.

[The observation is accompanied with a laugh--a thing he hasn't allowed in far too long, and seems to keep creeping back up with more frequency and practice. But he does precisely as he's told and flops down on the unmade bed.]

[ That, at least, very nearly inspires some feelings of protest in Kenobi — he was going to make that bed, he swears — however it dies before it makes it to his lips and instead he just lets it be. ]

For the both of us? [ His eyebrows shoot up and he closes some of the remaining distance, lingering at the corner of the bed. ] That's quite an accomplishment for being unaware that was my intention.

[ He's almost tempted to kick Anakin out, to tell him to go find Padmé and to not waste his time here in the harbor of his friend's mundane choice of leisure. But he's never minded sharing space with Anakin, and actuality, he'd been feeling a bit too disconnected himself.

Finally settling, he sits on the edge of the mattress and glances back at Skywalker. ]

I didn't think it made sense to go back to the ship. [ A pause, and then a nodding concession. ] And so I have to pass the time somehow. This felt... more appropriate than most choices.

[Anakin hums contentedly, always having known his friend is a bit of a bore when it comes to traditional recreation. But the older he gets, sometimes he doesn't wonder if Kenobi sometimes has a point in the leisurely pace.

Who knows when...if they'll ever even get this again.

He smiles from his laid position on the bed.]

Let's see. Go back to the ship, deal with roommates, too small beds, communal showers...work. Or this? If I'd known this is what all of the "Anakin, patience" was for, I might have listened.

[He laughs and leans upward only enough to reach forward and pull Obi-Wan down with him. "Patience" indeed, huh?]

[ The tug isn't entirely unexpected — Obi-Wan has learned to expect the unexpected where Anakin's involved — but his stiff demeanor rears its head briefly while he naturally protests the motion.

Even that gives way and he doesn't get back up, doesn't scorn Anakin, either, even if another time he might have suggested this action to be juvenile at best. Instead, his hand tucks up under his head and he stares up at the ceiling from flat on his back, rueful but obviously relieved in some strange way as he snipes back. ]

If I'd known this would make you listen, I might have shown you a long time ago.

[ A soft chuckle escapes him and he glances over briefly to shoot Skywalker a bright smile before returning his gaze to the now-familiar ceiling. ]

As always, we're at an impasse.

[Anakin couldn't care less if it's juvenile or not. It's their first vacation in...how long? Those scant few days spent on Naboo three years ago hardly feel like they count, and even the initial wedding had been a quick, quiet affair with little time for a real honeymoon. With or without Obi-Wan, he struggles to remember the last time things were this quiet. If they ever have been.

Anakin chuckles at Obi-Wan's resignation and rolls over to shove himself into the other man's side. It's not aggressive, hardly roughhousing, but it's not the gentlest start to maintaining proximity. He hums quietly, next to Obi-Wan's ear.]

I can live with an impasse.

Oh, I know.

[ A hefty helping of sarcasm rounds out a conversation that is rote, at best. In reality, they find a suitable balance between them more often than not, and that fact alone has always been enough to set them apart.

He rolls his eyes for effect and shoves back, but only to buy himself room to turn away. ]

If you're here to encourage sand into my bed, you've done a fine job. Were you rolling in it?

[ By now he's captured his pillow and curled around it, amusement still very clear in his voice. ]

I'm not encouraging anything. [He sounds absolutely thrilled about this ~~not~~ as he lightly shoves at Obi-Wan's shoulder from the back.] It just follows.

[It's everywhere, he could have told you that. Though he's fairly sure Obi-Wan has tracked in his own fair amount, or that it's blown in from the beach of its own accord from the open porch space.

It's almost the kind of beach he wouldn't mind living on. It's not quite Naboo--nothing ever could be--but its solitude is a gentle one, a tranquility that leaves even Anakin's restless temperament uncharacteristically quiet. But not lonely. Not just yet.

Anakin stretches out, not unlike a cat, and then curls into Obi-Wan's back, content to simply...laze. There is no nagging in it, no question of whether they should be somewhere else, doing anything else.]

Do you think we'd have ever gotten a vacation back home? Is that even allowed?

[~~Would he have even wanted it?~~]

[ Obi-Wan's silent for a moment, content to leave that space to breathe between Anakin's question and his eventual answer. It's part of the process, really, to take a second between all actions, all decisions — to make room to expand out, as opposed to turn in. ]

Occasionally we're granted furlough. [ Which he knows Skywalker will interpret correctly as a time out. ] But I don't believe that counts.

[ It's answer enough, he thinks. Vacation as a concept suggests a lapse in control. Relaxation, conceivably, would become unnecessary with true balance, at never allowing one's self to become askew. In retrospect, it seems almost ridiculous to think a person — any person — would be able to maintain that indefinitely. ]

I'm fine with this. [ And then, impishly: ] Perhaps I'll just stay.

[There's a small part of him pulled toward the idea of domesticity: he knows he wants it, has dreamed of it ever since he can remember. The dream was always a beautifully simple one: Padmé, children, his mother, a big family. Some of that is impossible now, he knows, but the core of the idea hasn't changed. Shmi may not be here, but the family he'd never know otherwise is. It's a bittersweet tradeoff.

But even with that simple dream of family and contentment, there's still another part of him laying latent in the back of his mind, telling him that this is a waste of time. That something is coming, something is always coming.

He's not named Skywalker for nothing. It's not a name his mother carved out of the ether to have no higher purpose, and even domesticity needs a little excitement now and then. Settling down is one thing. Getting tied up in it is another.]

Sounds boring. Which makes it perfect for you.

We could all use a little more boring in our lives, if you ask me.

[ Which, of course, he didn't, but that's never stopped Obi-Wan from offering his opinion before. The way things have been operating lately, less seems better — less trouble, less concern.

He sighs, dramatic as ever, but it quickly turns into a yawn. He tugs Anakin's arm around him, impulsively determined to make the most of this quiet moment as he doesn't think it could possibly last. There's an overwhelming sense that soon they'll learn there's no way to hold on as tightly as they'll need to. ]

What happened with the rings?

I still have them.

[He gives a simple shrug as cuddles into Obi-Wan's back. He at least doesn't sound terribly put off by it.]

Padmé is busy, and I don't want to rush it.

[Said as if he'd ever taken considerable time with anything. It is, however, the truth. A crowded beach around strangers doesn't feel quite right, and he's not even sure she's committed to this in this timeline, versus the way he knows it to have worked. He's not really sure if any time will ever be right, but it certainly doesn't feel like now is really the right moment. He wants something quieter. Like this. Where he can explain himself, find the right words, and show her he loves her more than he has proper vocabulary for.]

Afraid we're going to elope without you this time?

No. You wouldn't dare.

[ But the inflection says everything of how he's put aside that perceived slight. At the time it had felt like a slap in the face, but the more he took their lives into consideration, the more he could understand why it would have to be a quiet affair. ]

I think you got the better end of that deal. You'll make a fine husband, but Padmé could do better.

[ He doesn't mean one iota of it — he's so fond of them both he might as well be entirely transparent even when he is hiding it — but if he doesn't give Anakin a hard time, who will? ]

Hey!

[Anakin shoves him into that pillow he's cradling with a terribly-disguised laugh. Honestly? It's true: Padmé could do better. He's had the same thought a million times in a million different ways. The want is more important, and better--as Obi-Wan would likely be proud of him for thinking--is subjective.

But just like that, he's back to Kenobi's side, arm slung over in roughly the same fashion, face buried in the back of his shoulder.]

Just for that, you get to be the ringbearer. That's not a Best Man attitude.

[It would be more convincing if he wasn't chuckling through the admonishment. The point stands, damn it.]

Is that why you came over? To make more wedding plans?

[ He wouldn't mind even if that was the reason. But he suspects Anakin just misses the familiar company, and he doesn't entirely disagree he feels it as well. The closer they become, the harder it is to imagine being apart. This is the problem with attachments. ]

At this rate I'll be demoted to usher in no time. And who's to say Padmé won't want me to stand on her side? I think you're getting ahead of yourself.

If I'm demoting you, she's not allowed to re-promote you, that's cheating.

[As if he wouldn't give in anyway?]

Anyway, the rings aren't about that unless she wants it.

[In a way, both of his relationships are running parallel to one another. As he retreads ground with Padmé that has been covered (or realistically glossed over) once already, he moves with Obi-Wan into ground that should have been.

He won't deny that he's started to feel the loneliness creep in otherwise. It might be wrong, but since when has Anakin Skywalker ever given a care to what's wrong when it feels right? Maybe attachments are dangerous. But that's no reason to forbid them. No sentient being is meant to carry on in perfect unattached solitude, he knows it. That's the ultimate definition of selfish.

In order to be selfless, you have to have something worth sacrificing first. (Which is why he disagrees so fundamentally with the idea of taking Jedi children from their families so early and with no recourse for either party: how is it sacrifice if the child can't consciously make that choice?)

To hell with what might be "wrong." He's more focused on the present than he's ever been, and right now? This is where he knows he belongs.]

It's about doing it the way it should have been done. Doing it right.

Second chances are rare.

[ What could feel more apt? This strange diversion presents itself very much like a second chance, another opportunity to get it right. Kenobi isn't certain if he's on the correct path, but he does know that this new perspective on the Force and what it means to be a Jedi (not to mention what is means to be a living, feeling being) doesn't present itself as wrong. And for that matter, the longer he accepts it as a possibility, the more right it feels.

He doesn't think about the potential downsides — that all of this could be a dangerous diversion, too. There's no point in that, not when he realizes they can't go back.

A sigh. Not happy, not sad, but content. ]

What happened the last time? You didn't give her that droid, did you? [ Obi-Wan laughs and turns a bit, shoving back, aiming to turn the tables. ] Now I need to know.

What am I going to use a protocol droid for, unless it's to annoy Master Windu...which--

[Actually seems like a genius idea in retrospect, but he shrugs it off and keeps his arm around Obi-Wan this time.]

Anyway, I made him to help... [he is absolutely not conspicuously clearing his throat] to help Mom when I wasn't there. Watto liked to push it sometimes, just...just because he could.

[It's not a story he likes telling, and this is something he'd barely admitted to Padmé when he'd insisted she take the droid into her care in lieu of him having nothing else left.

His voice quiets this time, barely heard above his mumbling it into the man's shoulder.]

I named him that for a reason. Threepio. He was all I had left when--

[He still can't bring himself to such a casual admission of his mother's passing, but this is more than he's admitted to anyone but her aloud.]

It just made sense. He's as much a Skywalker as I am.

[In the sense, perhaps, that the name taken and fabricated for his own use, a thing Shmi took when she had no "right" and made their own.]

So yes, of course I did.

[~~Let him tell you where Artoo came from, Obi-Wan.~~]

Edited 2016-06-20 00:03 (UTC)

[ Perhaps Obi-Wan would feel differently if he wasn't already being plied expertly by Anakin's quiet consciousness spreading its fondness for droids all around them. Admittedly, Kenobi has begun to see what Anakin sees — but only to some degree.

He sighs, but it's so very fake in how put-upon he feels about the whole thing. ]

And I suppose she felt the same about the astromech? You know, I wondered about Artoo...

[ But not enough, clearly. It's amazing to think about how much he'd missed. ]

[He laughs quietly and shakes his head, the movement slow against the fabric of Obi-Wan's tunic.]

No. We weren't supposed to do gifts, nothing that would give it away. I just did anyway.

[If he can't give her a ring, not the first time, he sure as hell was going to do what little he could. Even if the intent was more than a little self-serving. Artoo was the same thought in kind, though perhaps given with less of the sentimentality.]

Artoo commemorated my Knighthood. [As did a few other things he's not going to suggest, but certainly thinks.]

He's still Padmé's droid on paper, lent to the cause. She has an official explanation and everything prepared, just in case.

[Just in case someone other than Kenobi thinks to do more than wonder.]

[ It's no surprise that Anakin won't even follow his own rules, but it makes Kenobi shakes his head, too, inexplicably tickled to the point where he's about ready to kick his friend out over it. ]

The deception goes so much deeper than I would have guessed. I suppose I should have opened my eyes a little wider, but I never thought you'd be so determined.

[ He sighs, but it's the farthest from unhappy he's been in so long, it could hardly be taken as anything but contended. How did this even happen? It feels so bizarre and out of place to feel so good about the very thing that had been an unspoken stress in their lives before the Moira. ]

What am I supposed to do with you? I hope you know that I'll be your responsibility when we're expelled from the Order...

[Anakin chuckles.]

Kicking me out is one thing. [A smaller and smaller consideration, the more he's proven right. And he'll take that assurance to the Council with impunity. He's not going down without a fight.] They'd never get rid of you.

Kicking you out is getting rid of me.

[ He'd made a promise, and even before all of this, Obi-Wan was willing to do whatever it took to ensure that Anakin didn't face the universe alone. The amount of power contained within him is not something just the Jedi Order would be interested in, and even if his friend decided to take his wife and settle down somewhere like Naboo, it wouldn't be hard to imagine someone trying to take advantage. And even if both Anakin and Padmé are well adept to handling themselves, they shouldn't have to.

For his friends — these dear family members that have adopted Obi-Wan as their own — he could do no less than ensure their happiness. ]

I'm uncertain how viable it is to return, even at this point.

[ Watch as he somehow manages to quell the majority of his terror at the thought of that. ]

[He scoffs in Obi-Wan's ear. The thought once worried him more than anything, even upon those occasions when he had all but decided to strike out on his own. Now? It doesn't hold the fear it once had. It should, perhaps, but tenets feared, not chosen, aren't worth holding.]

We're fixing it so we don't have to leave. Isn't that the point?

I worry we'll fix us, not necessarily them.

[ He doesn't believe even he has what it takes to negotiate change within the ancient Master Yoda, within the stubborn Master Windu. The change would have to be vast and sweeping, quick enough to alter generations at once.

But it's tangentially leading to a morbid thought after knowing what they know — a change of that magnitude could very well be on their horizon still — so he doesn't bother saying anything else on the subject.

Turning his head away a little, he presses his face into the pillow and stifles a yawn, trying to avoid his ear being tickled again (mostly because it might elicit an unsolicited giggle from him if he's not careful about it). ]

Now, are we napping or what?

[ He mostly just wants to change the subject. But maybe also to nap a little. It's a bit hard to tell which is more pressing in this moment. ]

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<3

<3!!!

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