thisavrou_log | ( open ) my hands will stain the seas scarlet

Entry tags:

mcu: wanda maximoff

( open ) my hands will stain the seas scarlet

Who: Bruce Banner and anyone!
When: A few days after the planet's destruction, once Bruce wakes up.
Where: The cage in the cargo hold.
What: Bruce's coming to grips with the fact that the destruction of the planet is his fault, hiding away in his cage while fully expecting people to come by. Some to blame him, others to say that it's not his fault - neither will really help.
Warnings: Bruce-flavored angst? Dry heaving. Probably a very brief and vague suicidal thought here or there. Nothing much otherwise.
(PS: I am STILL open to people tagging him at the event log, by the way - should anyone be wondering.)

His eyes open into an alarmingly sharp sight.

There's no confusion, no moment of laziness or feeling of rest. It's as if he just blinked - and now he's there again. Except he knows it wasn't just a blink, it wasn't just sleeping either. The memories are as sharp as his sight, and they assault him almost instantly. Screams, cracks, people's faces, yelling, crying, afraid - even the angry ones, even the fighters, they're all scared, all screaming, running. Nothing stops the monster. He just keeps going, and all Bruce sees is those massive green fists, crushing one statue after the other, shards of glass breaking off and spreading all around, a whole planet crumbling down in front of his eyes - and him, trapped on the inside, helpless to do anything.

Everything assaults him at once, his insides twisting and making him sick. He rushes to a corner and doubles over, heaving out air and spit but nothing else comes, his stomach empty.

He wishes his mind were empty too - but no such luck.

Standing up is a struggle. His head is light, and the weight of his body makes his weak knees shake. He feels dizzy all over again, but he tries to keep himself upright for a little longer, back to the wall. He looks around, studying the cage. It's an impressive work, even more so than the one that SHIELD had built, and he can't help but mentally congratulate the team who put it together, especially in such a short time.

The fact that he's locked up doesn't bother him in the least; it's probably for the best, anyway. The Hulk hadn't really fought the confines of the prison, he knows that much - he'd been brought in still frozen, and the moment he thawed, he relinquished control back to Bruce. But he knows that it would likely have held the monster, and frankly Bruce prefers being here rather than anywhere else. At least he doesn't have to face anyone yet.

Left somewhere in the cage, he eventually finds clothes, a pair of plain trousers and a sweatshirt, looking much like pajamas. Funny, someone must've told the crew that the monster was a man - or the man was a monster. People from his world, maybe, or the unsuspecting woman who had watched him turn. Regardless, he just grabs the clothes and puts them on, the warmth of the fabric offering no comfort whatsoever.

Eventually he curls up on the mattress, keeping the covers tight around his shoulders, back facing away from where people could come by and see him. He's not planning to ignore anyone - he knows eventually he'll have to face the consequences of what the monster did - but he's not about to strike up conversation. If people just want to come by and see him, look at him like an animal in a cage and nothing more, then let them. It'd be a relief if he didn't have to actually open his mouth and talk anytime soon.

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"You should. I blame me."

He's not sure if this open and prompt understanding and forgiveness helps him any, or actually makes him feel worse, but he does know that Eggsy means it. For someone who once was able to turn into a dog, he seems to possess that same trait of honesty, and Bruce can appreciate that. For what little it may be worth right now.

He sits up slowly, a hand rubbing over his face and eyes, as he shifts around and leans against the wall of the cage. That's when he finally looks over, his eyes immediately landing on the stump where Eggsy's hand should be.

The knot in his throat turns to lead, and falls to the pit of his stomach with a violence that nearly makes him heave again.

"Better few and good." He tries for humor next, but it's self-loathing, a little bitter too, as he gestures at Eggsy's arm. "At least the others didn't do... that, to you."

"Ah, well. Just can't blame ya for somethin' that ain't your fault."

He frowns, scooting closer to the edge of the cage, fiddling with some spare wiring laying on the ground nearby.

"I'm not bein' honest. I know people. See 'em around, but they ain't my friends. I've been tryin' but it's hard to trust people, ya know?"

Eggsy looks up, angling himself so Bruce can't see his arm as much.

"And we went straight past that when I was a dog. Like I trust ya, cause I know you're good people, and I just think we could be friends if ya gave me half a chance."

He feels like he's trying to persuade Bruce to be his friend and he's kind of glad that he's getting it all out of his system. If Bruce decides this is too much and he doesn't want Eggsy around him, then at least he'll know.

"I won't bother ya much or anythin', but I've been thinkin' about how long I might be here on this ship and I don't want to spend it without friends."

Except it kind of is his fault. If he hadn't been on the planet at the time, if he'd gone to the ship and just waited there for the rest of the crew, then none of this would have happened. Of course he had no way of knowing that the natives would turn violent towards them, but he should have expected it. He's seen enough to know when to expect confrontation, and though his intentions were the best - just help people back to the ship, get the rest of the crew off the planet -, well... The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, as they say.

So the Hulk was to blame for all the death and destruction. But Bruce was still the one to create the conditions that allowed for the monster to break out of his cage. In a particularly explosive and violent kind of way too.

"Eggsy-- it's not that I won't give you a chance. You have..." He sighs, curls in a little more on himself. "You have nothing to prove to me. The fact that you're here right now is... it speaks for itself."

He still remembers how tense Natasha was after the Hulk chased her in the Helicarrier. Sure, she had eased a little around him after the battle, but every once or twice he had still caught her flinching when he moved a little too quickly, even after a week had passed. And yet, here's Eggsy, a few days after the Hulk killed him, asking Bruce to be his friend.

It's almost surreal. But he doesn't doubt that there's some level of trust here. Whether or not there should be, clearly it's not for Bruce to decide.

"Do you have questions?" People always do. And right now, that's actually easier to talk about. "About the other guy."

Eggsy relaxes, scooting even closer and turning so he can lean up against the side of the cage. He thinks on it, because he doesn't know what questions he has about everything. He has one, a really big one, but he's a little concerned about asking it.

"So, you know Tony Stark by any chance?"

The guy Eggsy named his pet alien-dog after because he thought highly of the guy.

"Cause if you do, then it might be a bit easier to do this whole question answer thing."

If this was the same Bruce, that Bruce, then Eggsy could admit that he'd seen him in a movie once, and already was aware of the basics. Then he wouldn't have to tell him anything unless he wanted to.

Bruce lifts his eyes quickly back to Eggsy, expression surprised. Not for just hearing that name, but because until this very point, he hadn't even thought about his friend. At all.

"I do." Added in the very next breath: "Is he alright? Did he make it-- to the ship?"

The thought that he didn't makes his stomach twist almost painfully. He still clings to the hope that Tony's here, and safe, but what other reason could there be for him not having dropped by yet? He hasn't heard a peep from him. That can only mean he's either seriously injured, or... well, worse.

Reality sinks in too heavily all over again. What if he killed his best friend?

"Oh, um. I dunno, Bruce."

Eggsy wishes, right then, that he'd found another way to make his point. He hadn't thought about any of that, and now that they're talking about Tony, he realizes he hasn't seen him around in a while.

"He's Ironman, yeah? If he was on that planet, I'm sure he'd be okay."

He tries to give him a light, reassuring smile, but he's probably failed at it.

"I just meant that you don't have to tell me anythin' cause I know about you in the same way I knew about him. From a movie. That I got the basics, so I don't have any questions. I only want to know what you wanna tell me."

He wasn't really expecting to get a definite answer, not from someone who hadn't even made it out of the planet alive, so it's not too much of a disappointment when Eggsy says he doesn't know anything about what happened to Tony. And sure, if he had one of his suits with him, he most likely would have made it out of there and back to the ship somehow-- but it's been days now, and he's yet to drop by or at least message Bruce. He'd have expected that from Tony.

"You did?" He looks surprised, even more so when Eggsy mentions a movie. And he talks about that movie in a way that makes it clear he knows a lot about Bruce. Probably a whole lot more than he'd ever care to share with anyone. "Ah."

Great, that's just what he needs to know. That in some world out there, the tragedies of his whole life story serve as pure entertainment.

"I'd rather get to know you like this. Just us talkin', but I'm sayin' you don't have to tell me anythin' about him except for what you want. You don't have to explain, even if I'd never seen the film."

Eggsy frowns a little. Superhero movies were alright, he'd half-watched them with his mates, and while he does have the gist of what the Hulk is, he doesn't know so much. He just wants to give Bruce an out if he wants that.

"I'm more into the classic films, yeah?" He's mucking it up, like usual, but it's hard not to know Bruce's face when the movie makers have the superhero stuff pasted up everywhere. "You ever seen My Fair Lady?"

Eggsy sounds almost sorry that he mentioned the movie to begin with, and Bruce can't help feeling a little bad about that. It's not like he was the one making the movie, or that the movie was made after the real him, even - he realizes now how some of the characters he knows as fictional could be real in another universe, and how much they too would hate knowing there's some movie or TV show out there, showing and talking about even the most intimate details of their lives.

It's no one's fault, really. He doesn't like it, sure, but he knows there's nothing anyone can do about it. He's real here, he's real in his world, but he can wrap his head around the fact that he can be, and is, fictional in some other world out there. With some difficulty and reluctance, but still.

"I have," he answers, an eyebrow arching in a faint attempt at amusement as he looks at Eggsy. "I wouldn't have thought you'd like it."

"Everyone always seems so surprised."

Which makes sense, he gets that, but he wouldn't be him if he didn't tease and make it seem like a big deal.

"Shouldn't be judgin' a book by it's cover."

Eggsy grins at Bruce, already feeling like maybe they could be okay. If they kept on with the way the are now, anyways. Time would do a lot for two people in their situation, and he hoped they'd be given that.

"Well, it is a little surprising."

He can't help the smile. It's a nice thought, though. And Eggsy's right with what he says next too: shouldn't be making assumptions about other people just by looking at them.

"Fair enough. Sorry. I'll know better next time."

It's a weak attempt at lightening the mood, but Eggsy does seem a little more cheerful, and Bruce's always been good at masking the weight on his shoulders, the weight inside him. It'll be difficult at first, but he'll try, at least. If nothing else, because Eggsy asked him to.

"How long you gotta stay in there?"

Eggsy's smile fades a little, and he comes up on his knees by the cage wall.

"Cause I'll have to admit it's botherin' me some that you're all locked up."

He kind of hated that the man was in there, even if it had been or was still necessary.

"I'm not locked up."

Not anymore, at least. The first day or two, sure, the doors had been firmly locked. But then, he wasn't exactly in a good enough condition to get up, let alone go back to his room, or his routine.

"I just want to be here for a little while longer."

Until he's sure that people have had the time to cope with all that happened, even if only minimally, and that having him walking around the ship won't stir up any unpleasant emotions or unwanted reactions.

"You ain't?"

Eggsy pushes on the walls, then drops his hand to his side. If Bruce didn't want out, he certainly couldn't make him.

"If you had a bed or a couch, I'd totally come in and hang out, but, yeah."

He stands up, slouching against the cage, blinking a few times.

"Gonna go lay down for a bit, but I'll come back, yeah? If you want me to."

"It's okay. I'm not the best company right now anyway."

But he smiles at Eggsy, grateful that he even considered sticking around just so he wouldn't be alone.

"You do look like you need some rest." Like he can talk. He looks like shit. "Alright. I'll see you later."

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( open ) my hands will stain the seas scarlet

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