Bruce Banner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hyperkinesia) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou_log2015-11-23 11:35 am
hyperkinesia) wrote in thisavrou_log2015-11-23 11:35 am
Entry tags:
( open ) my hands will stain the seas scarlet
Who: Bruce Banner and anyone!
When: A few days after the planet's destruction, once Bruce wakes up.
Where: The cage in the cargo hold.
What: Bruce's coming to grips with the fact that the destruction of the planet is his fault, hiding away in his cage while fully expecting people to come by. Some to blame him, others to say that it's not his fault - neither will really help.
Warnings: Bruce-flavored angst? Dry heaving. Probably a very brief and vague suicidal thought here or there. Nothing much otherwise.
(PS: I am STILL open to people tagging him at the event log, by the way - should anyone be wondering.)
His eyes open into an alarmingly sharp sight.
There's no confusion, no moment of laziness or feeling of rest. It's as if he just blinked - and now he's there again. Except he knows it wasn't just a blink, it wasn't just sleeping either. The memories are as sharp as his sight, and they assault him almost instantly. Screams, cracks, people's faces, yelling, crying, afraid - even the angry ones, even the fighters, they're all scared, all screaming, running. Nothing stops the monster. He just keeps going, and all Bruce sees is those massive green fists, crushing one statue after the other, shards of glass breaking off and spreading all around, a whole planet crumbling down in front of his eyes - and him, trapped on the inside, helpless to do anything.
Everything assaults him at once, his insides twisting and making him sick. He rushes to a corner and doubles over, heaving out air and spit but nothing else comes, his stomach empty.
He wishes his mind were empty too - but no such luck.
Standing up is a struggle. His head is light, and the weight of his body makes his weak knees shake. He feels dizzy all over again, but he tries to keep himself upright for a little longer, back to the wall. He looks around, studying the cage. It's an impressive work, even more so than the one that SHIELD had built, and he can't help but mentally congratulate the team who put it together, especially in such a short time.
The fact that he's locked up doesn't bother him in the least; it's probably for the best, anyway. The Hulk hadn't really fought the confines of the prison, he knows that much - he'd been brought in still frozen, and the moment he thawed, he relinquished control back to Bruce. But he knows that it would likely have held the monster, and frankly Bruce prefers being here rather than anywhere else. At least he doesn't have to face anyone yet.
Left somewhere in the cage, he eventually finds clothes, a pair of plain trousers and a sweatshirt, looking much like pajamas. Funny, someone must've told the crew that the monster was a man - or the man was a monster. People from his world, maybe, or the unsuspecting woman who had watched him turn. Regardless, he just grabs the clothes and puts them on, the warmth of the fabric offering no comfort whatsoever.
Eventually he curls up on the mattress, keeping the covers tight around his shoulders, back facing away from where people could come by and see him. He's not planning to ignore anyone - he knows eventually he'll have to face the consequences of what the monster did - but he's not about to strike up conversation. If people just want to come by and see him, look at him like an animal in a cage and nothing more, then let them. It'd be a relief if he didn't have to actually open his mouth and talk anytime soon.
When: A few days after the planet's destruction, once Bruce wakes up.
Where: The cage in the cargo hold.
What: Bruce's coming to grips with the fact that the destruction of the planet is his fault, hiding away in his cage while fully expecting people to come by. Some to blame him, others to say that it's not his fault - neither will really help.
Warnings: Bruce-flavored angst? Dry heaving. Probably a very brief and vague suicidal thought here or there. Nothing much otherwise.
(PS: I am STILL open to people tagging him at the event log, by the way - should anyone be wondering.)
His eyes open into an alarmingly sharp sight.
There's no confusion, no moment of laziness or feeling of rest. It's as if he just blinked - and now he's there again. Except he knows it wasn't just a blink, it wasn't just sleeping either. The memories are as sharp as his sight, and they assault him almost instantly. Screams, cracks, people's faces, yelling, crying, afraid - even the angry ones, even the fighters, they're all scared, all screaming, running. Nothing stops the monster. He just keeps going, and all Bruce sees is those massive green fists, crushing one statue after the other, shards of glass breaking off and spreading all around, a whole planet crumbling down in front of his eyes - and him, trapped on the inside, helpless to do anything.
Everything assaults him at once, his insides twisting and making him sick. He rushes to a corner and doubles over, heaving out air and spit but nothing else comes, his stomach empty.
He wishes his mind were empty too - but no such luck.
Standing up is a struggle. His head is light, and the weight of his body makes his weak knees shake. He feels dizzy all over again, but he tries to keep himself upright for a little longer, back to the wall. He looks around, studying the cage. It's an impressive work, even more so than the one that SHIELD had built, and he can't help but mentally congratulate the team who put it together, especially in such a short time.
The fact that he's locked up doesn't bother him in the least; it's probably for the best, anyway. The Hulk hadn't really fought the confines of the prison, he knows that much - he'd been brought in still frozen, and the moment he thawed, he relinquished control back to Bruce. But he knows that it would likely have held the monster, and frankly Bruce prefers being here rather than anywhere else. At least he doesn't have to face anyone yet.
Left somewhere in the cage, he eventually finds clothes, a pair of plain trousers and a sweatshirt, looking much like pajamas. Funny, someone must've told the crew that the monster was a man - or the man was a monster. People from his world, maybe, or the unsuspecting woman who had watched him turn. Regardless, he just grabs the clothes and puts them on, the warmth of the fabric offering no comfort whatsoever.
Eventually he curls up on the mattress, keeping the covers tight around his shoulders, back facing away from where people could come by and see him. He's not planning to ignore anyone - he knows eventually he'll have to face the consequences of what the monster did - but he's not about to strike up conversation. If people just want to come by and see him, look at him like an animal in a cage and nothing more, then let them. It'd be a relief if he didn't have to actually open his mouth and talk anytime soon.
no subject
Which may be for the best. He's curious, but some things are better kept as a mystery.
"Depends on your definition of 'safe'." He looks up and down, all around the cage, then back to Clark. "I'm not going to turn again, so I feel safe in that regard. I don't imagine everyone on the ship will be alright with me walking around freely so soon, though."
no subject
There's the Hulk, but that had been an accident, and even the Hulk isn't without merit. If Bruce can control all of that strength, he can help just as much as someone like Superman.
"There's something to be said for wanting people to feel secure," Clark says, nudging his glasses. "But it's not about what you did, or what the cage prevents you from doing. Who you are and what you can do for people now is important. Punishing yourself - or letting others do it - for something that wasn't your fault... It doesn't change anything."
no subject
It's difficult to explain what he does as a physicist. It's all a little bit of everything, of trying to figure out the universe down to its smallest particles, and over the years it hasn't been the only area Bruce has worked on. When he was hiding, for instance, all he did was helping people, being as close to a medical doctor on third world countries as one can get. That only tangentially relates to physics.
"I'm not punishing myself." He says it out loud as if that makes it in any way more true. In reality, he kind of is, a little. But that's not how he sees it, nor how he wants to see it. "I feel fine here. I'll leave soon. Just... not yet."
no subject
He doesn't know what the right way to finish that is. Were they even there when the accident happened?
"If this is you not punishing yourself, I'd hate to see the alternative." Clark doesn't look even remotely impressed with the denial. "This thing inside you, Bruce, it doesn't make you a monster. Sooner or later you'll have to stop hiding behind this cage."
no subject
Like Betty. He swallows dryly when that memory comes to him with sudden and crisp clarity, seeing her covered in bruises and open wounds, lying on that hospital bed. It had been a mistake to go see her afterwards, but he needed to know that she was alive, that she'd made it. He'd hoped not to run into her father, but it was a long shot.
Ultimately, it was all that, his visit to the hospital, and his argument with the General, that drove him all the way up to Greenland. Not that it made any difference.
"I'm not hiding. Believe me, I know something about that, and I really am not." But then he's used to having a whole world to pick from. He doesn't have a lot of options on a space ship. "I just want to have a little while for myself. And I'm sure some of the people on board wouldn't be too happy to see me walking around freely so soon."