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npc | thán

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Who: Niko and Thán
When: Aftermath of the event
Where: The Hold
What: Someone gets tossed in for a night
Warnings: None, but will update if needed

After the events of this thread.

Thán was hardly ever near the hold, let alone escorting someone inside to spend the night (maybe the day after if it was needed as well). They just didn't punish the crew that often, but when Cúrre tells him to meet her there so that he can speak with one of the crew before locking the door, well, he does just that. He's a bit surprised to see that Niko has caused any sort of trouble. The last time they'd spoken had been unusual, a little uncomfortable, but it had in no way altered his positive opinion of the man.

He's standing off to one side of the room, watching Niko carefully. Thán isn't sure what to say, not at first, so he waits patiently for the man to speak. Niko had placed himself highly among the crew for the very fact that he had offered to help when it wasn't necessary and did his job to the best of his ability with out complaining. It is those reasons that Thán offers Niko the chance to talk, so that the captain can understand why he was lashing out.

"Niko."

Sighing heavily, he gestures to the room.

"What is bothering you?"

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You would think that the worst part would have been a fitful sleep, but Niko never slept particularly well. Six hours at a time at best. His nightmares always intense, and this time they flicked to people made of glass, breaking apart whenever he tried to shake a hand or pat an arm. Some people he knew, some strangers, all shattering.

What was dehumanizing about the experience was the fucking hole in the floor. It wasn't unlike some of the prisons he had been in while he was in Europe, but he hadn't liked them any more there, either. Well. It hadn't scared him straight, anyway.

What was bothering him? A planet destroyed was too easy of an answer. Too obvious. And it was more, so much more, everything stacked until it reached a breaking point.

He was situated in the floor, arms resting lazily on his knees. "When I was in Europe, one of my worst bosses accused me of stealing his diamonds when the authorities sank one of his ships. He threatened me, my family. So I left. Even if I did not do it, I didn't bother to try to prove my innocence. I just left. We should have left this time, too." He closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the wall.

"It probably does not matter. Is the way it goes. How many made it onto this ship?"

It's a story that Thán isn't expecting, but he feels fortunate that the man shares it with him. He waits a moment, gathering his thoughts, and sits on the floor nearby. He's quiet a bit longer, wanting to consider his words carefully. This is a delicate situation, and with the reactions the other crew have been having, he wants to offer a bit more sensitivity than he has previously.

"Your feelings matter. That your upset matters. Their lives mattered."

He frowns, resting his hands on his folded knees.

"We lost two. Crewmen Vorkosigan and Unwin. Eggsy and Miles, are their preferred names." Though they would both be recovering from their deaths in the medbay now. He knows one better than the other, but he supposes that doesn't really effect anything. "They'll be disoriented, and require company to adjust to what happened to them."

"The natives that boarded the Moira have already been transferred back to their own people's ships."

So, Eggsy too, huh? He didn't know him. But he'd seen him around. "It does not matter. That I am upset has never mattered. But I knew it could not fix things, so I took it out on a table. You may be unhappy I did this, but I promise you Captain, this is far better than what I would have done a year and a half ago." But he missed a year and a half ago. And it felt like an age now. He'd gotten to the point he'd stopped trying to pull up the good memories because they hurt. All of his new letters to his mother were unfinished because he wasn't sure how they'd go. It was strange to find himself missing all the people that were so easy to hate.

But it would serve Thán well to know. Not for his sake. Tali's and Ratchet's. "The last ship we were on destroyed planets on purpose. For money. If we didn't do as they say, they worded our contracts so that if we refused them or worked against them, they would destroy our worlds, too. They worked to brainwash others.

"Is not on purpose this time. But it almost makes it worse. Tali and Ratchet were also a part of this crew. So please be careful of your words to them. They will not handle it by flipping a table, but something will be destroyed in their heads." Which he was only just now considering himself. The inside of Niko's mind was scarred and seared and while it was sore, in a way it was prepared for this. Sad over the loss of a friend, mourning a world dead by morons, but Ratchet and Tali had once had some semblance of independence.

"Wait, did you say they were coming back?"

"I've spoken to Ratchet since everything happened."

It explains why he'd been so upset, though Thán had assumed, at the time, that it was just a normal reaction to the unnecessary loss of life. It was probably a bit of both, Ratchet's history and everything new that occurred, and it's a weight that Thán has to carry with him.

"When we chose not to honor the natives' wishes, we didn't know this would happen. We'd decided that supplies for our crew was more important than their feelings."

It's not an excuse, exactly. Thán is aware that they chose to stay and that prompted the natives to action, which resulted in an unfortunate triggering of one of the Moira's crew. A sequence of events that were unplanned, that they'd have to bear the burden of, no matter who accepted blame.

"They are, yes. Crewman Unwin soon and Vorkosigan after."

Again, same as on the Nehada, there was the vague worry that with some sort of resurrection happening he would never find the escape in death that he always longed for. But there wasn't much that he could do about that now. Or was there ever?

But in this case it was good news. They'd have another go, and Gregor and Ivan could keep their cousin. The obviously loved him.

"He won't be something like zombie or vampyr, right? He will be same asshole he was before. -I don't know if Unwin was asshole, but Miles is in a good way. And I think his family needs that."

Then, after a moment more thought, concerning what Thán had said. "No. You did not know. But I am still angry that you made such bad choices. Their honor was very important, and you had four days to tell us to rush. Their honor meant more to them than the things that they say are stolen."

But he does wish they'd taken him up on the offer.

"Did you steal this ship?" It was a genuine question, based on what he had seen so far, what he'd heard of a crew of four that had access to the cosmos but apparently needed to steal from a world of glass.

He wasn't personally familiar with Crewman Unwin but he was a bit more knowledgeable of Crewman Vorkosigan. Miles had always come across as a good man, though too wordy and bossy for his own good.

"Would you describe a zombie and vampyr, simply, if you wouldn't mind it? Though, they will be as they were, so I don't imagine that they'll be like either of those unless they already were before."

Thán knows a lot, he's read many books, but he doesn't know every term from every universe. He pauses, glancing over at Niko with a curious expression.

"You can't steal a ship like this."

Vague and half-answers, as a different crew member has said of Thán when he speaks, but he reveals more than he lets on. He says it almost fondly, giving Niko a wisp of a smile.

"Have you looked closely at it, Niko? Really looked at it. There is no other ship like this in any of the universes, I'm sure of it. It was the first and only of its make and there is nothing that could compare."

"I wouldn't know. To me, they're all different.

"But I have done terrible things for the good of people, before. And they are terrible. I am not a good person, because I was willing to fuck over a lot of people for a few. I love them, because I know them. But to the others, I am a terrible slimeball who deserves to die." So all in all, he was pretty unsympathetic to the idea that they were meant to benefit from it. Even if the planet hadn't been destroyed, they were still in the wrong.

"Is just unusual, though. I have met bosses that coldly dismiss their workers, are even cruel to them. But you, with such a small crew, and not sure what to do with new ones, and you have heads that want to take care of yourselves first. You don't seem to not care, but you don't seem... crew headed. Not yet."

He tapped his own head. "So I'm thinking even if you did not steal it, it is strange circumstances that it's given to you.

"But like I say. It doesn't matter. The people held us guilty on the theft. They will hold us guilty on this, too, even if many of us tried to save people." Again, he just looked tired. Even if they had stolen the ship, or if they didn't, what good would it do Niko to figure anything out? It wouldn't grant him any freedoms. Any future. What was done was done, yes, but what has been done has escalated infinitely over time.

Thán frowns at the "terrible slimeball who deserves to die". He knows people are unkind, and set in their opinions, but it is strange to picture anyone thinking that of Niko. He doesn't know him very well, but given the opportunity, he'd like to.

"I suppose we aren't crew headed, because we aren't used to having a crew. The ship functions better with a crew, extraordinarily better, but we don't have to have one. We are trying to learn how to do this, and each of us have our own way of doing things."

Each of the captains, honestly. They are individuals and it shows in the method in which they captain the ship.

"The ship is ours, that's what matters. There is no one to take her from us, and she has treated us quite well."

His frown deepens, and he shakes his head.

"We carry the weight if we choose to. It either holds us down or changes the decisions that we make in the future. Possibly both. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I won't let this happen again. We will come up with a better way to gather cargo."

His ruthlessness has been something he's not had to expose for a while, and he'd be almost grateful that someone had that opinion of him. Almost. But he knew it to be true, and the capacity was still very strong within him if he were ever able to leave.

He'd promised Tali they wouldn't kill anyone when they got their new ship, not unless it was self-defense. But he didn't say he wouldn't enjoy that self defense, or he wouldn't still make people pay when they wronged him.

"Sometimes it does both, yes." Because one didn't just abandon their past in a new place. And this would be carried with him. He supposed that, even if it hurt, someone had to remember. "When am I going to be allowed to leave?" He shifted to sit cross-legged.

"Are you calmer now?"

Since that was the main reason he was brought here. Less of a punishment and more of a break so that he could get himself together.

"You may leave when you're ready. I can escort you to your room."

He takes a moment, shifts and then stands.

"If you do not think you are ready, then someone will let you out in the morning."

"I'm fine. Just tired."

But he didn't get up yet. He just sat there, elbows resting on his knees. He wanted to leave, but the anger had left him feeling heavy.

Finally he did get up himself, though. He knew that anger would come back. It followed him as easily as his depression did. Being a weapon was just in his nature. Directing it was all he could do now.

But at least he could limit the damage to inanimate objects.

"Then we should take you back so you can rest."

Thán was uncomfortable with the expression on Niko's face, and that much shows on his own. He's displeased that the man was put in the position to carry this guilt, but Thán knows better than most that there is no changing the past. It's only the future they can do anything about now.

"Come with me, please."

He followed after him, watching the ground enough to navigate.

There was a lot of guilt in his head. What was one more thing? Even as slight as the fact he didn't pressure other people to leave? But he did try. He could say that. He tried to make good with them.

When they reach Niko's room, Thán pauses and turns to face him.

"Did you want company? If not myself then someone else?"

If Niko wasn't in a good place to be left alone, then Thán wouldn't leave him.

"Why would you want to?" he asked genuinely. No, he could be fine alone. Or with someone. It didn't matter. People there or not, the universe was shit and he was so far separated from his life that, even with company, he might as well have been alone. But that Thán himself offered surprised him.

"I like you, Niko. Ever since that day we met. When you offered to help and you didn't have to."

Which was strange to say, because Thán wasn't the most outgoing and didn't make connections easily. He did like Niko. He was easy to be around.

"If you don't want to be alone, you don't have to be."

He never really knew why he helped people. He could say it was for money, but all it took was a "please". He would give people money if they needed it. Threaten away men who abused women. Help addicts get out of their bad lifestyles. Help save people from their mistakes.

But he was also the man that punched a woman he was kidnapping in the face to stop her from biting him and trying to wreck the car. He was a man who murdered men for only $5,000 a pop. But here, he hadn't the need to murder anyone. To take anyone. But he still did something nice, so maybe that was the part that accidentally showed through.

"I am okay either way. But if you want to come in I have a phone with music on it." It's a stupid offer to let some guy listen to Eastern European trendy music circa the early earth twenty-first century, but maybe he was also scraping at keeping planets alive at this point. Even his own, if the CDC decided to discard it.

"Yes, of course. Though I must admit that I've not listened to much music."

Thán steps into Niko's room, pausing at its center.

"Where should I sit?"

He didn't want to sit on anyone's bed if they were being used. Thán gestures around the room, turning to look back at Niko.

"Either of those two beds." His roommates were gone, and that was hard on him in itself. He'd liked them, for all that he was disappointed that they weren't his distant friends. But glad. It meant they never knew the CDC as he did.

He put on a song through the tinny speakers of his iFruit phone and sat heavily on his bed.

As he listened too, he picked up the bag that someone else had packed to escape the planet, the person he'd failed to save, and for the first time started to go through it. Most of it was clothing, necessities, even a few of the odd hair ornaments as if they were important. Maybe they were to this person.

Thán sits on the nearest of the two, hands in his lap, watching as Niko starts the music.

"What is that?"

He sits there unmoving, not used to these kinds of things. Thán knows everyone needs their own time to grieve and accept what has happened to them, as well as adjusting in their own ways.

"You don't have to tell me, I'm just attempting conversation."

"I don't know." He looked at the small pile he was thinking.

"When I was out there, I tried to save someone. They were cut apart by falling glass, but they had handed me their bag. I just never bothered to put it back down.

"I had been suspicious of that pretty planet. But now I think I was probably wrong."

"There are good people and bad people every where that you'll go in you life."

He refers to the suspicion of the planet, Thán knew better than to trust everyone.

"It doesn't mean that what happened anyone was deserving of, but that doesn't mean your suspicions were wrong. I've been blinded by others before, assumed that they are as they appear to be, but it is not the case always."

Thán looks at the bag, its contents.

"You should keep it, or at least some of it. They are what that person thought to grab in a time of crisis, it makes the items sentimental."

"I probably will. I pack light, but I have been keeping a few things." He kept losing his life over and over so many times- what was the point in keeping anything? But that statue. That bag, with those items. They weren't going to happen again.

He put that sculpture in there, his daimonds and that stockpile of strange... whatever druglike thing it had been, and put it in the bag. Like a man saving up for a rainy day.

"So that you will have it all where you need it."

A way to honor the person who had given Niko that bag, and himself in a way.

"You should try to sleep some. I can stay here until you do, I don't sleep much, or I can leave."

He wanted Niko to have time to relax.

"I will be okay. I do not think I can sleep any time soon." He assured him. There had to be a lot the man had to do now, he couldn't babysit Niko in his post-tantrum depression.

"I'll come and check on you in a few hours, if that's alright?"

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I almost use an icon of this man's bare ass.

i would have found that hilarious.

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