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star wars: luke skywalker

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Who:Han Solo and YOUR FACE
When: throughout the month of May
Where: aboard the Moira unless otherwise noted
What: for all your miscellaneous threading needs! will probably post some specific starters, but feel free to hit him up with basically anything.
Warnings: currently n/a; will warn in threads / update as needed

Though going home is Han's number one priority, he's not sure a temporary trip (if that's even for real) is worth the risk. So while he'll get into his share of trouble, he's sticking around on the Moira a fair amount. Plenty to do.

He keeps up with his work running one of the transporters as needed, and can frequently be found between trips on the flight deck. Sometimes he's poking at his shuttle of choice, but just as often he can be found in or around the Millennium Falcon. Loath as he was to risk spreading whatever contamination they've all contracted onto his pride and joy, there's only so much waiting a man can take. (Play your cards right and maybe you'll get a tour, he likes to show off.)

The mess hall, the bar, and the cafe are all frequent enough haunts. Hell of a lot better than being stuck for months with instant caf and freeze-dried rations. As far as space travel goes, this is straight up luxury.

Otherwise, he'll be around, here and there.

---

[ closed starters below! ]

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[Well, if he's not writing off two of the most important people in Han's life as a mistake, at least that's a start. And it's an admission that the whole thing is more complicated. Maybe they're never going to see eye to eye on this, but if Ben is going to be flexible enough to see some merit in attachment, Han can be flexible enough to see how they cause trouble, too. If only because doing less wouldn't suit his competitive streak. He can be well-rounded, too, damnit.]

Knowing your future doesn't mean it's predictable.

[But that verges on uncomfortable truths he'd rather not spill. He thinks it's a point worth making, though.]

Your way might be less complicated, I'll give you that. [For whatever that means. Probably not very much.]

[ Less complicated? He'd hardly be the one to judge. Right now, everything feels complicated. It's an uncomfortable place to be when you're apt to overthink, and he's especially negligent of people to take his concerns that aren't already a part of his concerns.

Strangely enough, this feels as if it's helped, although Obi-Wan's not entirely certain who it's helped. ]

Your way might be more satisfying, I'll give you that.

[ Let's just not talk about the future. ]

[In his opinion, it's definitely more satisfying. With a somewhat grim little smile he lifts his glass a bit. Yeah, he'll drink to that, and let the silence lapse a little bit. No more talking about the future suits him just fine.

After a moment, though, he feels like they need to talk about something.]

Sorry about your... [What's the right word here for this mystery woman? He settles on something maybe not quite appropriate, only for the aspect of being an in-joke, gentle enough maybe to convey the tone he wants to.] ...acquaintance.

[ Maybe it's the alcohol working its magic, but the sting isn't quite so strong when he thinks about it — about Maul's revenge, about his inability to save Satine, about his weakness in the wake of it. It's still debilitating, like a hot pain in his chest that curls his shoulders and tightens his posture. ]

As am I. [ He regards his glass, mouth twisted into a bitter little smile. ] Unfortunately, regret isn't quite as frowned upon as attachment.

[ Kenobi takes another drink and very nearly drains his glass again. There's a miserable hesitance and his shoulders slump that much more. Perhaps he's finally settling in. At least not feeling the urge to run anymore. ]

Moira has seen fit to return her. Most vital and... difficult. I've had no small amount of trouble coming to terms with this fact.

Bad move. Regret'll get you in the end.

[Half the time that's what gets him-- not regretting, but knowing he will. It's working out pretty well so far. Keeps him on the right track. He doesn't think avoiding entanglements would change that, it's just leave you regretting the missed chances instead.

But he's not expecting that. It takes him a moment to parse what Ben's telling him, because it sounds so unbelievable-- though it shouldn't, maybe, because he saw the old man die and Luke's father is dead and Zam told him dead doesn't mean dead here sometimes. Still, it's not something you get used to easy. But he gets the gist of it.]

Difficult how?

[Obi-Wan, you are officially gossiping about girls with Han Solo.]

[ Yep. This is his life now. ]

She's a pacifist. As close as you can come to a politician and a ruler without taking sides.

[ Perhaps a little too heavily, he sighs. It's a little bit lovesick and something about that worries Kenobi. In fact, a lot about that worries him. He thinks it's fine because Han doesn't have the Force, but he's not really all that hard to read, particularly when he's been drinking. ]

And she deplores what I do.

Huh.

[And here he thought the Jedi were the idealistic ones. It's a big, strange galaxy.

Han might not have the advantage of sensing the Force, but he's been in a lot of bars and seen a lot of lovesick men in hs time, and Obi-Wan isn't so different. Mild drunkenness, the great leveler.]

What you do, [he echoes, more thoughtful than usual. He's not keeping up drink for drink but he had a slight head start here. She hates what he does, but he didn't say she hates him, so.]

So?

So? [ He raises an amused eyebrow at Han. ] So, that makes her difficult. And... [ Kenobi shakes his head and looks up at the ceiling, cursing himself even before he says anything damning. ] And incredibly attractive. [ He has a ~type~. ]

[Difficult women being attractive, now that he definitely understands. That woeful look makes him grin.]

Well, yeah, but what are you gonna do?

Drink.

[ And not think about it, but perhaps that's implied. As is the fact that all the alternatives aren't really being considered. But hey, Kenobi's at least thought about them. Probably too much. ]

That's not an answer.

[But okay, drinking is a good way to deal with it.

Ben can probably guess Han's stance on the issue. He should definitely go for it.]

I fail to see how it's not an answer. Perhaps not the answer you might choose— [ Or most anyone, really, but Obi-Wan doesn't feel it's necessary to bring that up. ] —but an answer nonetheless.

Sooner or later everyone has to sober up.

[His tone is pretty sympathetic, though.]

You should give her a chance. If she wants to.

By "give her a chance," you mean to suggest I shift my purpose entirely. To do so would be to serve myself as opposed to the Force, which I have— which I have devoted my life to.

[ He feels a dark desire to leave, to walk away. Already he recognizes the seeds of upset clawing at his too-uncontrolled sense of self. The mere idea of Solo's option inspires both beauty and terror in his heart and mind. ]

If I were to do that, I would want to give Satine all of me. But by leaving the Order, I would only be offering what's left. It seems... unfair.

[Yeah, Kenobi's got it bad. Han shakes his head, because somehow that's not what he means at all. He thinks. Maybe that's the only way it could be for the Jedi, though it doesn't sound quite right. He doesn't really know her, but he'd wager anyone who cared for Ben probably did so understanding what he was, what he did. That's how it works, he thinks. If she was the sort of person who expected him to change everything, he probably wouldn't be so infatuated.

There's probably a nicer way to say what he means than did you ever think maybe the Force doesn't want you to be alone and cranky about it? but it doesn't much matter, he's not willing to concede that the Force has a will to worry about.]

You're already away from the Order. Maybe this is the time to try it out.

[Who's gonna chide him for breaking the rules? The kids who didn't know those rules existed? Their well-informed father?]

[ As it stands, Obi-Wan will always defer to his own judgement. Being his harshest critic has yeilded undeniable results. Obi-Wan has had to work hard to hone his skills, each one-by-one, a tribute to the Force he's devoted his life to since he was first taken to the Jedi Temple as an infant. It hasn't been an easy road. At times it's even felt thankless.

But this is his life, the only one he's known, and not a bad life in any regard. He holds a measure of respect for that he feels many others don't acknowledge. ]

Once the dam is breeched, containing the water again becomes near impossible.

Remaining with the Order but defying its standards is not an option I feel is entirely approrpriate. Soon the Jedi Order will be gone and I would do well to throughly think through abandoning it on its deathbed.

[Han would have said much the same thing about his own life, before the Rebels. He fought to get back to it, at first. Or claimed to. The thing is even without the excuses Leia kept throwing his way-- one more paid job, too dangerous right now, can't fix the Falcon unless you help with this-- he thinks he'd have found his own. Maybe it was easier because the supports were already in place-- he had a taste for dangerous jobs, an ego that was suited by it, no particular fondness for the Imperial regime. It's not so different with Ben, though, because he already cares even if he doesn't mean to.

For a minute Han tries to come up with some way to extend that image of a burst dam with digging out a reservoir in a better shape, but he has to admit he doesn't know enough about that kind of engineering to muster it.]

You'd rather go down with it than try to, you know. [He gestures vaguely and uselessly.] Find a way to make it work out better?

[ Is that what he's saying? With the drink swimming through his blood, he finds it much more difficult to discern his own true intentions, and in that it's worrisome that he says anything at all. And to this near-stranger, at that, who he's only come to trust by association, for the most part.

What vested interest does Solo really have in this scenario? It feels almost deceptive in its own right, but Kenobi knows better; Han's here because he wants to be here, and ultimately, even if his intention is to change a Jedi Master's mind to make way for his own conflicted relationship to be a tiny bit more complete, then what qualms could he really have? ]

She's dead. How do I make that "work out better?" [ A uncharacteristic hint of bitterness creeps into his voice. ] Do I assume she'll come home with me? Do I—? Do I change my ways and expect that when I do finally return home others will understand why I did what I did?

Do I pour all that is me into all that is her and hope that when she's taken again, there's something of me left to survive it? Something of me left that wants to survive it?

[ Obi-Wan passes a hand over his face and takes a deep, shuddering breath. Take control of yourself, Kenobi, he silently urges, but he's already poised to run. ]

I have no answers. Only ceaseless questions and unrelenting regret to color what precious few good memories we have together.

[Stepping back enough to ask why he was having this conversation would leave him without an answer. It's funny that Han is arguing over the principle of the thing, when he's so inclined to scoff at principles. This feels important, though, in the heat of the moment; or maybe they're just both a little bit drunk.

But he's certain, absolutely, that rules like that are untenable.]

Same problem, [he argues, leaning forward.] Ask her what she thinks about it. Quit hanging every damn thing now on the future. Find something better to look back at.

[ There's a very long pause here where Obi-Wan stares across the table at Solo, so eager to be helpful, and he has to admit the guy's got a kind of courage Kenobi's always had trouble mustering. To stand against the injustices of the universe is within Obi-Wan's reach, but questioning the very system that has been his entire life has never been his way. He traditionally balks against any deviation from the norm, particularly when it comes to Jedi matters, and while he's expressed certain concerns, it's never been so potentially life changing as something like this.

He clears his throat and nods, that much more relieved his uncertain trepidation is mostly lost on the other man. ]

Please don't think I don't appreciate the advice. As it turns out, I could use all that I can get. [ And then, perhaps a bit warmer than even before, he smiles. ] I'll... take it under advisement, Han. You have my word.

Seems like that's the best I'm gonna get.

[But actually he's fairly satisfied with that answer; at the least, it beats the alternative. Strong as he feels about his opinions, Han knows he's at a disadvantage in arguing against the Jedi Order because he doesn't have much respect for it. How could he? The only one he ever knew was some hidebound old man passing off cheap magic tricks as destiny.

(Imperial propaganda at work, there, doesn't help.)]

[ If only Han understood the true power of the Force. Time enough would reveal as much with Luke and Leia so nearby, but perhaps the perspective now would allow him to see what it means to try to focus something like that, and the necessary balance required in order to ensure that type of power isn't abused.

He smiles a little. ] If it wouldn't be too much trouble — if it wouldn't put you into an awkward position — I'd like to keep this between us for the time being.

[Chances are, if he understood-- if he'd seen more of it, enough to let go of the insistent skepticism that's already starting to fray away at the edges-- he'd say exactly the same thing. Han is stubborn like that... And Leia and Luke are, too, which is part of why he cares so fiercely about the both of them.

For now, he just nods.]

Don't worry about it.

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