thisavrou_log | Do you know that our soul is composed of harmony? [OPEN]

Entry tags:

mushishi: ginko

Do you know that our soul is composed of harmony? [OPEN]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa and YOU
When: March 16th and on
Where: ...a room. Somewhere. Fuckin'.... go with it okay
What: Catchall log for Kaworu as 'music teacher'
Warnings: Is 'Kaworu' a warning, or

[Music is wonderful. Music enriches the soul. And Kaworu is the music teacher.

Thanks to the help of Steven Universe, he now has access to a number of instruments. And not just a piano--the list of instruments in the room include a flute, harp, saxophone, clarinet, oboe, bassoon, trumpet, trombone, tuba, flugelhorn(?!), and French horn. Occasionally he can be found experimenting with these, but he's clearly (even comically) incapable of figuring them out on his own.

Well, not the harp. The harp he's got down. Thanks to Light's stunningly precise description of it earlier in the month, any ambiguity related to that particular instrument has been banished.

The tuba is another story. A tragic, tragic story.

Anyway, if Kaworu isn't following people around the ship or loitering strangely around the cargo hold, he's here, fooling around with the instruments he doesn't know or else occupied at Steven's particularly striking piano. He spends several hours a day at that, actually, playing beautifully and with a broad smile on his face.

This is a catchall log for March, so feel free to place your own starter specifying date and time, and Kaworu will probably be here. ~~Not like he has much else to do.~~]

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[The sound of piano music is what draws Asriel into the room. And for a while, he watches from the back of the room to avoid interrupting Kaworu's playing. But when the song stops, Asriel quickly speaks up.]

That was amazing!

[Kaworu is not surprised, at least insamuch as he knew someone was in the room, but he's flattered. Or at least pleased. Because praise from the heart is a rare but treasured reward.

What is more of a surprise is Asriel's appearance; it's another one of the unfamiliar doglike beings. So there's more than one...

His smile curves upwards from the corners of his mouth.]

Yes... amazing is the right word, I think. Music is the sound that speaks to the heart, a sound that can make people feel happiness. A sound with the power to help humans forget their troubles... it really is wonderful.

I think so too... though I don't really know all that much about music.

[Some of Toriel's lullabies come to mind when he was much smaller.]

I've only passes through here a few times before, but this is the first time I've heard anyone playing music. Do you know a lot of different songs?

[Through no real fault of his own, Kaworu rarely experiences conversations that don't become circular or shrouded in metaphor or feature confusion on the other person's end. So when Asriel just rolls with his attempts at communication, he's actually tricked into sounding pretty normal, for once.]

I know a few.

But maybe not anything you're familiar with.

[He pauses, smiling.]

...

.... I wonder.

[If the same songs can and do survive through the history of the human race despite the reshaping of reality and time itself...

Is the Ode to Joy a sound unique to the souls of Lilim, or can it emerge from the hearts of beings to which Lilith bears no relation?

Hmmmm.

In Asriel's case... that a being which has had a history with humans would find the music of Lilim pleasing is interesting, but maybe not very surprising.

Still...]

How about this?

[Do you know the Ode to Joy, Asriel?]

[Ginko has no interest in taking music lessons. He doesn't know anything about music, and, frankly, he sees no real need to change that.

But that doesn't mean that the sound of the piano doesn't draw his interest. After all, it's something unusual - he hasn't heard this particular sound before, and, with little to do between work, eating, and sleep but wander the ship, his wandering ends up taking him right into the music room.

He doesn't say anything, or make any effort to make his presence known. He just kind of... scoots a little bit to the side of the door. And then sits down. Perfect.]

[Kaworu doesn't have to hear or see Ginko to know he's there. But the fact that his mysterious visitor has not yet found the need to interrupt or introduce themselves means that he finds no need to do either until the ending of his current song.

Then--and only then--does he let his hands come to a rest, waiting until the sound of the final few notes have faded to silence in the acoustic room.]

Do you love music too? A sound with the power to touch the heart, and connect the individual to others--even across the barrier of the soul.

[He turns to smile at his audience.]

It was that sound which brought you here, right?

[When Kaworu finishes playing, Ginko considers for a moment whether to take his leave or stay and keep listening; after a moment, though, it seems that he's not going to get a chance to make that decision.]

...What?

[What is this guy talking about he doesn't understand]

I... I guess. I heard the... that. [He nods at the piano.]

[No one really understands what Kaworu says much of the time, but he hasn't actually noticed.

Thankfully, he's marginally better at understanding what other people are saying to him, and figures out what Ginko is stuck on after just a second of silence.]

... the piano.

[A smile.]

Yeah. That.

[He shifts a little where he's sitting, considering if he should just... get up now.]

Um. I... I could leave if you'd rather.

...if I'd rather?

[He sounds equal parts amused and confused by that statement. What an odd thing to say--he regards Ginko for a second or two like that, because he has never once been asked his opinion on something like that.

There's really only one question that makes any sense as a reply.]

What would you prefer to do?

[That's what's important here. Kaworu's opinion is irrelevant.]

W...what?

[Ginko's shoulders hunch slightly, and he twists the fabric of his sleeve between his fingers.]

I... I don't know.

[--ah.

The things human say often leave Kaworu a bit bemused (to put it mildly...) but body language... body language is a much clearer communicator to him. And that body language is very familiar to him. Which... uh.]

Then you should stay until you figure it out.

[His tone is bright and helpful.]

[He glances up, brow furrowing slightly, but...

That's basically an invitation to stay, right?

He gives a very small nod.]

...Alright.

[Well, now that's settled.

Kaworu smiles for Ginko--a strange, cryptic kind of smile, maybe, but one not devoid of warmth. Humans are so fragile, their lives so painful--even the most simple gesture of acceptance is such a relief for them that they cling to it as though the existence of such a thing will give them permission to exist. It's... kind of pathetic, honestly.

But.

Well... ]

Do you have a name? I don't believe I've seen you before.

["Permission to exist". Interesting choice of words, there.]

Yeah. My name is Ginko. What about you?

[Kaworu knows a lot about humans, Ginko.

It's just a matter of finding the right way to make use of it.]

Kaworu Nagisa. You can just call me Kaworu, if you'd like.

[The Shinji Ikari method: act like you like them right away, and they like you back! It's practically guaranteed.

With the right kind of person, anyway.

It would be creepy from a person with more overt ulterior motives, but Kaworu has no reason not to like individuals.

He may not have an express reason to like them, but it's not like his intentions are any kind of malicious.]

[Ginko gives a very small nod. This guy is... kind of strange? And possibly a little off.

But he doesn't seem dangerous. He's not bossing Ginko around, or yelling at him, or trying to touch his eye.

Good enough.]

...Okay. Uh... nice to meet you.

[Maybe a little belated, but he's supposed to say that, right???]

[Kaworu smiles back.

That--and so many other phrases--are part of the social rituals that humans developed over thousands of years of existence, in order to facilitate the difficult and painful challenge of meeting new people, and in doing so exposing yourself to the possibility of being hurt.

Following those rituals is supposed to make it less dangerous--or at least less frightening.]

The same to you, Ginko-kun.

[Do you want to talk more, or shall he keep playing so you can listen?]

[He nods again, uncomfortably. Then his gaze drifts away and he starts tugging at his sleeve again.

Apparently that's the end of his side of the conversation.]

[That's fine too. Kaworu is, if nothing else, an extremely low-pressure presence--if you want to talk, you can talk about anything you'd like and he will be all ears. But if you don't, that's all right too.

Does Ginko like Chopin? Because Kaworu is in a Chopin mood at the moment. Which gives Ginko around six minutes to come up with the courage to say something else--or edge a little closer, if he's feeling brave.]

[Ginko has no prior opinion on Chopin, but he is enjoying the sounds that are happening right now.

After a bit, he does get up the nerve to scoot closer, angling himself so that he can get a better view of what Kaworu is actually doing as he plays.]

[Kaworu doesn't call Ginko out on it. For one, he's busy playing. For two--Ginko seems different, really, from Shinji. More fragile. Like he'd break apart if Kaworu touched him.

So Kaworu keeps playing until he finishes, and then--only the--does he turn to look at Ginko again, still smiling.]

Would you like to try?

[He blinks, not having expected to be spoken to, and his gaze flicks uncertainly from the keyboard to Kaworu's face.]

Are... are you sure?

[As if he thinks he's going to end up breaking it or something - which is probably the case.]

[What kind of a question is that?

Kaworu doesn't know how to answer that except literally.

So he does.]

Of course.

[He demonstrates how to place Ginko's hands with his own.]

Just place your hands over the keys... and play.

[Easy.]

[Ginko stands up, still cautious, still a little doubtful, but goes to stand next to the bench. He sets his fingers carefully on the keys, glancing between Kaworu's hands and his own to imitate the positioning.]

...Like this?

[He wants to make sure he's not already messing up before he makes even an attempt at the 'actually playing' part, okay.]

More or less.

[Kaworu pauses.]

You seem nervous.

...are you afraid?

[He looks up from the keyboard, surprise flitting across his face at the question. It's gone a moment later, replaced by a look of quiet trepidation.]

...Maybe.

Why?

Making mistakes is a part of learning.

Besides, it's not like anyone will die here, no matter how badly you do.

[Unfortunately, Kaworu is only good at being reassuring if one's cosmic insignificance is a helpful thing to contemplate.]

I know.

[Fortunately, Ginko IS comforted by his own cosmic insignificance, because it means there are limits to how badly he can screw things up.

Unfortunately, he's not sure how to explain that he's still halfway afraid that he's somehow going to manage to mess this up so badly that Kaworu realizes that this was a complete waste of time and there's really no point in trying to teach him or show him anything.

So he just goes quiet again.]

[It's okay, Ginko. Just because Kaworu doesn't experience insecurity doesn't mean he isn't aware of its existence. He has sympathy for you.

More importantly, he has patience. He can wait.

He's all smiles as he does so. Take your time! It's just a piano.]

[It's a long few seconds before Ginko presses a finger down on one of the piano keys. He stiffens at the ensuing sound, glancing at Kaworu as if seeking some kind of feedback.]

[Kain is bored, and thanks to the bloody atmosphere, he shouldn't be leaving the ship much, which...means he's pacing the halls.]

[The music does get his attention and he wanders to the room with the original intention of idly listening; his claws and other problems make learning an instrument a little unlikely and good luck getting him trying to sing.]

[Pausing in the door turns into a very awkward blink and a loud sort of involuntary clonk noise that's somewhere between a large bird and a rock thrown in water.]

[Yep, he remembers the "Weird Eidolon Kid", and even if he doesn't have to worry about troll berserks, "Weird Eidolon Kid" probably means those are nothing compared to what the kid could do in his own body.]

[Smooth, Kain.

It's all right. He would have known you were here whether or not you made weird bird plunking sounds.

But though Kain may know him, the reverse cannot be said to be true.

He doesn't actually bother to finish the lively piece he's currently playing--he just stops.]

It's said that Lilim created music as a way to bind individuals together. The sound of the soul. With just the human voice, or hands, or breath...

[Kaworu, where are you going with this?]

[Like Kain would know if Kaworu remembered him or not from that; he has no idea if that's recognition or just being weird and fae.]

It does usually work across languages, at least.

[...Okay some things didn't make sense that easily but usually if you were worrying about whether a tavern song was about sex or making fun of some public figure who'd messed up, you were too sober to be in the bar. MOST OTHER MUSIC could get something across alright.]

[Kaworu is not terribly good at giving context clues. Possibly he doesn't know what a context clue is.

Okay, he definitely doesn't know what a context clue is, or he'd probably be a lot better at everything involving human relationships.

The only clue Kain gets is a smile.]

[If Kain were a lot of other people, he'd probably try to flounder around to figure out exactly what Kaworu meant.]

[There are even some few times and places where Kain himself can figure out how to be indirect and cautious; this is not one of them.]

Is there something on your mind?

[Which is the more polite way of saying "I'm not psychic".]

[...what an interesting question. It's not an unknown question to him, but very rarely has Kaworu ever been asked such a thing himself. SEELE, of course, has done the asking--and it's always meant something to be asked it. Or else been meaningless.

Your face seems sour. What has happened?

But asked just like that... it's a question with infinite answers, as limitless as the limitless minds of those on this ship. He will definitely remember to use it.]

... an interesting question. Did you know? The human mind is a mind without limits. There are as many answers to such a question as there are individuals, and moments in those individuals' lives.

But isn't it a little strange for you to ask me that?

You came to me, after all.

I've already just told you what I was thinking.

Maybe it's the question I should be asking you.

[Unless, of course, you want to hear it again.]

[....Well, you've cemented your status as the "weird Eidolon kid"; there's a bit of a double edged sword with Kain in that he's intelligent enough to follow philosophical things, but his degree of motivation to bother can vary widely.]

[And usually tends towards the obnoxiously pragmatic and practical.]

Well, usually someone doesn't have much reason to care about making themselves understood unless they have something to say; that sounded like it was probably dance music for whatever world it was from.

[Which is a comment that possibly opens lots of doors for ending up off subject, but it's his first thought.]

I heard it and wanted to see where it was coming from; I'm still getting used to this ship.

[Kaworu blinks. Then smiles.]

Well, now you've found it. So, what are you going to do with that knowledge?

[Pragmatic is fine. Pragmatic is good. Humans... push and pull... and act and react... and get upset... and calm down... and get upset all over again. All for what looks like no reason. But if they stop doing that long enough, you can actually have a decent conversation with them.]

I'm the music teacher. So I could teach you to play.

[Yes, this idiot is the assigned music teacher.]

But...

[He looks at the instruments along the walls--which include a tuba and French horn and harp all other manner of things.]

I only know how to play this one. The others are all a work in progress.

[That might be a generous description.]

[He raised a very unimpressed eyebrow at the entire thing.]

So you were playing random music for practice's sake and then waxing philosophical as if you'd actually meant something by it.

[....And a beat.]

...And you're going to be trying to teach people something you have very little idea how to do yourself.

[You know, even with breaking his Basically Everything and him KNOWING he's talking to you as basically an EIDOLON and not a probably-nerfed monster, he's starting to wonder how he managed to be afraid of you.]

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Do you know that our soul is composed of harmony? [OPEN]

21st

Okay but holy shit your journal name

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22nd

(Do you love the colour of the sky)

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22nd - since sick killed the TD thread >_>

FIVE DAYS LATER sorry about that

.....I'm not sure if I win or lose

...welp.

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