[Closed] Call me Ishmael

[yer_pretty_good]

Who: Ocelot, Big Boss, Venom Snake, Kaz Miller
When: evening Mar 12
Where: Med-bay patient room
What: The team addresses the 'snake' in the room.
Warnings: Metal Gear Solid V end game spoilers. Lots of spoilers. Also possible language and talk of violence



[This was not a conversation they would be able to avoid for long. Both Big Boss and Venom were here on the ship. Although Ocelot had been pulled here a month ago, he did not imagine this would occur. He should've considered it a possibility. On top of that, Venom came from a time before the others, so he wasn't aware of the circumstances of his 'awakening'. Of what was done to him. When it happened in Ocelot's time, Venom embraced his new role and his new life. Would it be the same here? The cowboy wasn't really sure. This place might change everything.

Big Boss asked for a private location for their conversation, so Ocelot secured one of the patient rooms in the medical ward. Thanks to Dr. Eric, there was a wing just for psychiatry, and with only two therapists on board the ship, that left plenty of space for Ocelot to make use of. He sent a text message via the MID to Big Boss, Venom, and Miller to meet him there. At least the room was comfortable. There was a couch and some chairs for sitting. Guess it was kind of fitting to have this conversation here, where people would normally talk about their troubles to someone who would help them work through their troubles.]

Come on in. [He said when each arrived, whether separate or together. There was a bottle of whiskey on hand too, along with some glasses. He thought they might need it.]

Comments

Re: Kaz is a thinking kind of guy.

[cardboard_boss]

[Venom saw the new prosthetic and was actually glad that his friend had finally got a replacement foot. It seemed life aboard the Moira benefitted many more than he had previously thought. He offered Kaz a nod and then moved his eyes over to where Big Boss had entered the room. The other Big Boss. His double.

He said nothing and sat down wondering what the hell all this was about. Venom's eyes shifted to where Ocelot was leaning against the table where the drinks stood. The silence was cutting. Why was hardly anyone speaking? What was there to hide? Was it about the ship? Or something else? Venom wondered why all four of them had to be in the room at the same time. Maybe it had to do with Mother Base. Venom prayed that nothing had happened to the men back home or the base. Lots of thoughts swirled around his head, as he looked back to his double clenching his prosthetic slightly in anticipation.

He wanted to speak but didn't even know what he could say right now. So, he listened instead.]

[camouflage]

[good, at least it seemed everyone was on the same page. as soon as ahab took a chair, john went to go sit right across from him. they needed to be face to face as he recounted every little fact. he sighs before he begins, looking a bit dire. better just get right to it.]

I've been lying to you. For a long time. My name isn't Ishmael, it's John. I'm Big Boss, Ahab. The real one. That day in the ambulance, I was pulled out of the wreck by Ocelot, so I could leave before you woke up again. You're my phantom, you were meant to be my double.

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot knows a lot of what's said are things he can fill Ahab in on later if needed, but John is getting the big stuff out of the way. In a sense, even if this is Zero's fault and perhaps one can blame Ocelot for helping the plan come to fruition, this is really about Ahab and Boss. About Ahab's sacrifice and how he put his life on the line for John in that chopper.]

[warandpeace]

[It is about them, really. But it was Miller that pushed Big Boss into telling him here, and it's also a little bit his responsibility for knowing. He steps up to the plate with what little honesty he can offer. And a small amount of defense, considering the anger he's carried about it.]

Zero started this mess. [Like Zero starts a lot of messes.] We weren't meant to find out until last. I don't think they had much choice.

[He backs up to Ocelot's desk to lean against it.]

[He's remaining casual with his movements, but he's not expecting him to take it well. He had seen that broken mirror. He didn't know if it would be followed by the same acceptance. But even with that acceptance, to Miller, they had always felt like two very different people.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Venom stared at his double face to face across the room and swallowed. What was about to come he would take as best he could. But he wasn't expecting the words that came out of the other man's lips. Once John spoke Ahab went very silent. Listening. Just trying to listen and remain calm. Was this some sort of weird joke? His eyes shot to Kaz and then to Ocelot for some sort of explination or half expecting them to burst out laughing. But nothing. They weren't smiling. No one was.

That meant.....this man who looked like him. Was him. He was a fake. Ahab was nothing more than a fucking decoy. Was that all he ever was? Just some weird experiment to be made out to look like this guy? Big Boss. The legendary solider. What was he? Just some guy made out to look like him. Ahab swallowed. His mouth felt like sandpaper and his heart was beating very fast. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. He curled both hands into tight fists until his good hand went white while his prosthetic squeaked with the pressure.

Zero. This man had caused all of this. Why? Dammit....why?]

Has my life been just a fucking joke all this time?

[It was all he could say since he was boiling with emotion; anger, confusion, sadness. Everything.]

[camouflage]

No. [he answers, whip-quick. while it was true that zero had manufactured venom as just a way to keep john safe, for whatever his selfish reasons were, that ultimately he was meant to die so the actual big boss could live, ahab's life had become just as valuable to him as miller's or ocelot's. what better way to cause zero's ego to backfire on him when venom continued to take on everything in his path and persevere?]

You may be my double, Ahab, but the legacy of the Diamond Dogs belongs entirely to you. You've made this story your own. 'Big Boss' is a title that belongs to both of us now.

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot nods, in full agreement with Snake. Diamond Dogs is something Venom built himself, and he should be proud of that.]

You gave your life for Big Boss on that helicopter. You did what any of us, any member of MSF would've done.

[They follow Big Boss because they believe in him and his ideas. At least, most of them do. Ocelot doesn't think Miller belongs to that club anymore.]

And now, you are Big Boss, and the Diamond Dogs follow you because they believe in you, as you believed in him. If you call your life, your loyalty to Big Boss a joke, then you say the same thing about every man who lived or died for MSF and the Diamond Dogs.

[It's no different because they believe in him, Big Boss, too.]

[warandpeace]

[Miller doesn't believe in the ideas anymore. The end goal. Because the end goal results in puppet soldiers, a world controlled by a war economy. The end goal is all of them dead, and any vague idea of the dream he had long ago, lost.]

[But they're not dead yet. Things haven't gone to hell yet. There's still time. And he can't fix it if he closes the door behind him.]

[His gaze shifts from "Ahab" to "Ishmael" and back.]

Those men in that quarantine facility... they died saluting you. Saying the name "Boss". You brought down Sahelanthropus. You carried me out of Afghanistan, through the mist. And you've been a friend. You've helped me stand up when I couldn't do it on my own.

That means something. It's good enough for me.

[Even if, deep down, despite his words, he still feels like he took part in a giant diversion. Everything that he worked for is a lie. He can't blame Ahab for being angry. He deserved that chance to be himself if he wanted to.]

[The damage is probably done.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Ahab did his best to try and stay calm in the room. Why fly off into a rage now? He would do all that later once he left the room. Perhaps, go and something punch in the Rec Room. Something not someone.

Shit. Why? Why did this have to happen to him? He didn't meet anyone's gaze for a few moments and instead just stared down at the floor. Kaz's words rang true and so did Ocelot's. He just needed time right now.]

A drink. Give me a drink.

[camouflage]

Take your time. [john folds his arms across his chest, settling back into his seat to give his counterpart some room to breathe.

ahab was a good man, had always been a good man. he was completely in the right to feel so out of place, so angry, about his situation. when john had found out about it after waking up, he hadn't been happy about it, either. in weaker moments, he had often contemplated freeing venom before he was thrust into a role he had never explicitly asked for.

but he couldn't kill a man who he had once called friend.

venom just needs time to get himself right. accept what is and what was. john can wait until he comes around.]

[yer_pretty_good]

[Ocelot didn't expect this to be easy. He supposes anyone would want a drink after hearing all that, so he pours the whiskey and brings the glass to Venom. It's a good thing he thought to have it available, though he thought they might all need a drink by this point.]

Take it easy, Boss.

[Ahab is still as much his Boss as he ever was.]

[warandpeace]

[Miller watched Ocelot get him a drink, stepping out of the way. He didn't realize he'd gotten nervous of a reaction from Ahab until he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders a little, and he let out a quiet breath that he didn't know he was holding.]

[He came over to him and almost risked patting him on the back. Instead he just dropped his real hand back down to his side.]

If you need time, I'll make sure you get some space to breathe. Until you're ready. [He's pretty sure he could convince Eli and David to give him room if he needed.]

[cardboard_boss]

[Ahab took the drink from Ocelot in silence. He did offer the cowboy a grateful nod before downing the drink in one slamming the glass down onto the table. It didn't break but the force could be heard around the room. He would need time. Boss's words echoed through his mind over and over again. He hoped they wouldn't torment him in his dreams to come.

Venom closed his eyes for one moment before opening them once more to see Kaz standing close to him. He looked up at his close friend just trying to breathe more easy. Before he knew what was happening he clasped out his real hand to grab Kaz's hand, squeezing it, saying nothing. He needs you, Kaz. He needs everyone right now. His friends. Without them he would be wandering in anger, in confusion. Drowning his sorrows with drink to wash away the pain.]

Yeah. Time. I need time.