( open ) you are descended from animals

[hyperkinesia]

Who: Bruce Banner and anyone!
When: First half of March.
Where: Several places around the Moira.
What: A general catch-all if anyone wants to run into him on the ship since he won't be going down to the planet at all.
Warnings: None for the moment, will update if need be.
( a note: I'm good with both brackets and prose, so just pick whichever you prefer and I'll match! )

WORKING; SCIENCE DEPARTMENT.

Things seem a little calmer now, and while that leaves Bruce feeling wary of what might yet happen, it also offers him a semblance of peace and quiet. The planet seems interesting but not very welcoming, and for that reason he decides not to go down there and visit himself, opting for staying on the ship and spending a good amount of his time in the science department.

Especially as he starts getting data from the planet, helpfully provided by Clark, he dedicates himself to putting together a file with all the thorough information, as well as building a holographic projection of the surface, based on the images and sensors Clark got him. It's exciting work to him, even if it might not seem like much to some, and he can often be found at the department, poring over all the images and information collected.

TRAINING & MEDITATING; OBSERVATION DECK, GARDENS, RECREATION AREA.

It's not all work for him, though. He knows he can't push himself past a certain point of exhaustion, and even if things seem calm right now, it's always good to keep practicing a little, and keep himself well in check. His favorite meditation spot is the observation deck, and he's likely to be found there more often than not, sitting on a small blanket, legs crossed and hands resting over his knees. The gardens are also a close second, and he goes there a few times too, enjoying what little of nature they have on board.

At the recreation area, he makes use mostly of the pool about once a week, going for a few leisurely laps at odd hours, when the place happens to be empty - or close enough to it.

MEALS & DUTIES; MESS HALL.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday afternoons are spent doing his duties at the mess hall, clearing out tables and making sure there's always food at the buffet for people to help themselves. Outside of that schedule, he can be found there during meal hours, sitting by himself and more often than not reading some file or, most likely, a book.

WILDCARD; ANYWHERE.

Run into him on a corridor, spot him at the library, what have you - Bruce regularly visits different areas of the ship so it's not unlikely for him to be spotted in a myriad of different places. Go wild!

Comments

[hyperkinesia]

Bruce shifts around just enough that she can sit on the blanket too, rather than on the floor. It's obvious he doesn't mind having been interrupted, actually he doesn't even feel like he was interrupted at all to begin with. If he wanted to go through the session without the risk of someone walking in on him, then he would've stayed in his own private bedroom.

"Well, sometimes it's nice to stretch your legs outside the ship, but given the option..." He lifts a single shoulder in a shrug, eyes darting out the window and catching a glimpse of the planet below. At least they're not missing much, he doesn't think; the creatures must be beautiful to look at, but other than that it doesn't seem like a very welcoming place. Besides, Bruce would rather not have to face animal cruelty when he knows there's nothing he can do about it.

He sits a little more upright at her next words, brow raising slightly, but he's prompt to nod. "Sure. That sounds great actually, and if you... You wanna start now? We can just pick up where I left off, try to do some meditation." He has no idea if she has any practice, but he'll gladly guide her through it.

[handing]

"I don't think I have to spell out all the reasons why in this case, there actually isn't an option." He knows about Extremis, but it goes beyond that. Pepper doesn't want to have the burden of a planet's destruction on her shoulders, and she also wants to avoid tainting her friends. It's not hard to learn of her associations, and she suspects the Avengers would become a publicly known force soon enough. With everything that keeps happening, all the dangers they face, it's a matter of time before they're needed as a team. With that comes public image, the idea whether or not they can be trusted as a unit among the crew. Bruce had destroyed Caducus Primary, and those who had been witness to that could identify him.

They don't need a second face, a second reason to hate the Avengers in spite of all the good the group could do.

"Well, I don't have anything else on my agenda." The corner of her mouth lists in a brief smirk, given that they'd just touched on why Pepper's free. She's glad for it, in a way. She's needed the push, and most of the crew are probably off the ship, dealing with the mess on the planet below.

"I can't say I've ever really tried meditation before." At least not in a proper sense, the way Bruce had been. Sure, she relaxes, spends quiet nights at home because she puts them on the schedule and holds Tony to them. But this doesn't feel like the same thing, and she's definitely not doing it with the same goal in mind. Still, what she's heard about it does have her a bit uncertain. "Is it really supposed to focus on not thinking? Because to be honest, I'm not sure how well I can manage that."

[hyperkinesia]

"No. No, there really isn't." Poor choice of words, on his end. Bruce isn't even thinking of the team's public image, not just yet at least, though it should've crossed his mind already. So many months beating himself to the ground over what happened in Caducus Primary, he should have thought of that too, of how the entire ship knowing what he did could impact poorly on everyone else. Maybe it's a good thing he hasn't remembered that particular detail; he's got enough eating at his insides as it is already.

Pepper would think about that, though. Of course. Bruce, on the other hand, is only worried for Pepper's safety, both physical and mental, as well as the safety of the planet below.

"Don't say that too loudly, or the ship might just think of something to keep you busy." His tone is light, and he smiles a little, even if this universe does seem to keep finding new things to add to all their plates, one way or the other. This lull is nice, though, and Bruce intends to enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

"No, it's not about not thinking. Not completely, anyway. The whole point is to train the mind, and to learn to induce a new level of consciousness. One where you're not entirely yourself, where you can examine your own mind as if from an outsider's perspective." She can probably imagine why that's helpful for Bruce, and why he likely has less trouble understanding how that might work. It was also scary at first, terrifying even, when he didn't want to know what he'd find when he turned around and looked into himself. "It sounds complicated, I know. You don't need to do all that. Meditation can also be just about relaxing your body and mind. Basic breathing and tension exercises are a good way to start."

[handing]

Except Bruce doesn't have a line item on his resume that involves handling PR for a particularly difficult playboy-billionaire. And he's right; it's better to leave thoughts like that unspoken, confined to Pepper's mind where they can't layer over the guilt he already feels. She's not there to make things worse for Bruce; she's just trained to think of it from a different angle.

Which is a little ironic, given the explanation he gives her. "I don't mind being busy, but that..." She laughs a little, because he's right. It does sound complicated, like he's just explained the end-stage before showing her the first small steps needed to get there. And that does sound like it would be incredibly helpful to him, given that Bruce refers to the Hulk as a secondary or alternate personality almost, rather than an aspect of himself. The Other Guy, forever implying a distinction that the Hulk isn't Bruce, even if in so many ways Pepper thinks he undeniably is.

"Well, I'm glad you're not expecting me to be a master right away. Thank you for that mercy." She's facing him, but now she moves her limbs to mirror his pose, hands positioned as his are, legs crossed. "So should I focus on my breathing, then, or something else on my journey to find a new level of consciousness?"

Which, even for them, sounds a bit strange.

[hyperkinesia]

Well, she asked what meditation was about, so he kind of went for the general explanation before going into specifics, or which steps are the first she'd have to take. He's not trying to rush her to the ultimate goal either, especially considering that people can have all kinds of different goals in mind when they meditate. It really is very broad when it comes to what people want to take away from it.

"I know, sounds a little too complicated. Some people get there, others don't. It's fine, you can meditate for a number of reasons, and they don't always have to be that complex." That's just how it goes for Bruce, difficult as it might have been to learn it at first, this is how meditation helps him. He uses it to look into himself, to train the mind, to compartmentalize, and yes, to put a very clear barrier between himself and the Hulk, because they're not the same; they can't be. It's a good thing Pepper keeps that thought to herself too, when Bruce fears the beast in him as much as he did the beast in his childhood, how his little imaginary friend gave a very tangible shape to the constant worry and fear he had that he would in any way become like his father.

So, he needs them to be two different beings, kept separate, even if sometimes that line wavers as if drawn in sand. He can control the Hulk sometimes, it can be him in there during most of his transformations, but they're still not the same.

"Let's just try a few deep, slow breaths at first." He illustrates by inhaling calmly, followed by a long and steady exhale, his chest rising and falling and his shoulders moving along with the motion. He puts a hand over his stomach too, just below the edge of his ribcage. "Work with your diaphragm. Let's try to get our breathing to match, too."

[handing]

But in Pepper's case it is something complex, and more: it's vital. She's not trying to find oneness of body and mind, not trying to relax or soothe her soul. She's trying to gain control of a wildfire burning in her genes, the alterations forced upon her by a man who made her something other than human in an attempt to make her his. So no matter how many times Bruce tells her its okay, that she can take this practice and do what she will with it, his words can't really ease the nervousness Pepper feels, and that in turn sparks her uneasy chatter.

What if this doesn't work for her, like it has for him? Because that is the heart of her assumption, what Bruce would see as a misconception--Pepper needs to take ownership of Extremis, she thinks. If she can master it as a part of herself, then it won't be that vile thing Killian inflicted on her any longer.

Or so her hope goes.

"Deep, slow breaths. I can do that." This much at least is simple, and Pepper even goes so far as to mirror the way Bruce rests his hand on his stomach, despite the fact he was likely just pointing out the area to her. Still, if he wants to match then she's going to match, although in practice it's surprisingly hard to do. She has to think about it more, extending her inhalation, then her exhalation as she takes her cues from him. But she's practiced in following other's patterns, even if Tony typically sets a much quicker pace. Pepper doesn't need too long before that hesitation between breaths goes, and she's naturally matching the rhythm Bruce has set.

[hyperkinesia]

In that, then, she and Bruce are very similar. It's not that he doesn't appreciate the calm and relaxation that meditation offers for what it is, but it's not why he started in the first place, and it's not why he made a habit out of it. Controlling one's body to the extent that he does, down to the very pulse of his core, that seemed like a daunting and very much impossible task when he first started; now, he knows he can't live without that.

Meditation plays a huge role in that. And it worked for him in the end— he's confident it will work for Pepper too. Although he knows all too well the doubts plaguing her mind right now, because they plagued his too, probably even more insistently at moments when he was far more desperate than she is right now. Which is a good thing, actually. Things are complicated enough as it is without her worrying herself into a panic.

Bruce slips into a steady rhythm easily, almost thoughtlessly. She seems to have a more difficult time following after, so he switches around, waits for her to take her breaths and matches hers instead. His eyes stay open for now, keeping contact with her for a few moments as their breathing gradually steadies and calms down, slow but not quite so deep or long. "Give me your hands," he beckons, voice soft and quiet again, lifting his palms up, arms resting on his knees as he reaches out towards her.

[handing]

The difference between inexperience and expertise becomes all the more plain as they go on, but Pepper's not letting that deter her. She wants to do this right, and she will. It's a skill to be developed like any other, through practice and repetition, and with that constant reminder she can forgive whatever mistakes she makes along the way--although it's better that she doesn't realize Bruce is the one who shifts his breathing moreso than her. Novice or not, she doesn't want to be compensated for; she wants to do this right.

Which is why she only nods when he gives her instruction; speaking would break the precious rhythm she's established. And because this has all been such a simple thing so far, an easy task with no foreseeable risk, she slips her hands into Bruce's without hesitation despite not yet seeing the reason why he's instructed as much. Still, there's a purpose, and she presses her palms against his, her hands lightly grasping Bruce's as Pepper waits for what comes next.

[hyperkinesia]

She can't compare herself to him, he's been doing this for years, and from the point he decided he needed to do this to the point that it actually started to make a difference, it was months of training, of trial and error, of sessions ending in frustration after he sat for hours and got nowhere. It takes time and patience, and maybe Pepper will succeed even faster than Bruce has. Starting with the fact that she knows very well what she wants from this, whereas Bruce was still hoping to find a cure when he first started.

Slowly, he shifts their hands around, fingers sliding up to her wrists and feeling around a little, a touch more methodical than anything else. "I'm finding your pulse; you should try to find mine too," he instructs as he presses the pads of his index and middle finger against her skin, feeling the blood pulse underneath the touch. "It's a neat trick, and it worked with Trish: synchronizing heartbeats. So let's give it a try."

[handing]

Well, if he wanted to distract her from her own nervousness he's picked a good topic--unfortunately, it also works to distract her from what Bruce has asked her to do as well. Oh, Pepper does stretch out her fingers, lightly brushing them over Bruce's skin until she finds the proof of his steadily beating heart. But when he mentions that it had worked with Trish, well...

The grin she gives him has nothing to do with meditation.

"So you synchronized heartbeats with Trish, huh? That sounds romantic." Not when he's doing it with Pepper, mind, because she's with Tony and very happy to be friends with Bruce. But it's because they are friends that she feels such a need to point this out, even if it means her breathing slips for a few moments afterwards.

[hyperkinesia]

Somehow he has a feeling that mentioning Trish is a terrible idea, a realization that dawns on him the moment he says her name. His lips settle into a tense line when Pepper speaks up, and his exhale comes out as more of a sigh than anything else, though he makes a very pointed effort to keep his heartbeat steady and calm, thrumming away at the same even pace.

"Stop trying to distract me." Wait, saying that isn't a good idea either. Pepper's going to read into that, isn't she? Yep. He'll just gloss over that and hope she'll say nothing to it. (Honestly, Bruce.) "We're doing it now. Or I'm trying to do it, at least. It's not romantic now, is it?" Rhetorical question, obviously. He likes Pepper, but definitely as a friend and nothing more. Regardless of her being with Tony or not.

[handing]

Maybe it's terrible from his perspective; Pepper almost feels like she's been given a gift, with the sigh that follows being like the bow decorating the box.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize you'd find that distracting." Although it's clearly gotten her off focus. Normally Pepper is much, much better about this sort of thing, but after seeing Bruce and Trish dance around each other? It's hard not to turn the topic towards the potential happiness of two of her friends.

"You and I haven't been flirting with each other since at least February." Oh, had that been rhetorical? Pepper hadn't noticed. She does manage to look a little contrite--very little--when he points out that she's all but abandoned the effort, however. "But you have to admit that being able to accomplish something like that could be seen as signifying a pretty profound bond."

[hyperkinesia]

"I don't," he answers almost too quickly, mouth hanging open for a second or two as he struggles on what to follow that up with. "I didn't— that's not what I meant."

Sure, he finds Trish pretty distracting, but he was talking about Pepper using that topic to steer him away from what they were trying to accomplish here. Not that he thinks she's trying to avoid it, not at all, but she clearly needs to take a good look at her priorities. Maybe teasing her friends about their crushes shouldn't be quite so high up on that list.

He doesn't even answer the first remark, knowing that whatever he said to it would only work against him. She's got a point, though, and he had thought as much himself when they managed to accomplish something like that so quickly, and so easily too.

"It could be seen as that, yes. Although to be fair I think it was mostly my heartbeat doing the adapting. I've had a lot of practice, and it's fairly easy to match it up to other people's."