thisavrou_log | I Must Go On Standing

Who: Erik Lehnsherr and Wanda Maximoff
When: backdated to February 3rd, early in the day
Where: Chemistry, near the not-quite-functional-yet Cerebro.
What: The darkest hour right before dawn. Though the day might not bring better things.
Warnings: Mental strain, exhaustion. Mother-related horror.

[ Erik doesn't understand what Wanda is going through. He is very much aware of this. Even with his brush with empathetic powers a few months ago, or how many times he has joined his mind with Charles, he will never really understand what it means to bear the weight of other's thoughts, feelings, memories.

On top of that, he and Flynn have been having trouble getting Cerebro working properly. If only Hank were here. This would already be done. This would have been done before Charles left, and Wanda would never have had to endure any of it.

But Hank is not here. And Charles is gone. And so Erik is asking his daughter to do something difficult and painful. He would have taken her place in a heartbeat, but does not have the power to do so. He does his best to guard these thoughts, and minimize his feelings of guilt and inadequacy as he sits beside Wanda. To not put more on her than he already has. ]

I'm not sure how long it's going to take Flynn, but we can call it a day. Try again tomorrow. [ He hesitates a moment. ] Or call it off entirely. Lock up the lab and wait to see if somebody else who can use it arrives, let them go a few rounds.

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[When was the last time she'd felt this level of mental strain? Even Emiri had not been this bad. The lights are too bright, every sound is grating, and all she can do right now is bury her face in her hands and wish desperately that it would stop.

If only Pietro (her Pietro) was here this time...

She can't bear the simple movement it would take to look up (or the light) so her voice is muffled.]

We need to know. [Even her own voice sounds like it's booming in her head. Was that normal volume? Wanda tries again, quieter.] If she's here...

[ He nods, and reaches to rub her back, seeking out tense spots and kneading them with his fingertips. ]

We do. [ He is generally soft-spoken, but even moreso now. ] If she's here, then she's been here since before we arrived. She hasn't done anything yet. If it takes us a few more hours or days or weeks to get this working, it won't make a difference.

Do you need anything? Would you like some tea or you want I should fetch a sweater or anything like that?

[Oh how the tables have turned. Hadn't she told him the same thing barely two months ago? Wanda just groans.]

Tea, water, anything. [It doesn't matter. She doubts she'd properly taste it until the pain calms down.] Maybe a blanket.

[ He pats her knee gently. ]

I'll be right back.

[ He leaves quickly, but makes sure to step softly. The last thing she needs is him stomping around. He fetches the blanket, makes some tea, and finds something else he had been meaning to give her before returning. ]

This is some kind of herbal tea I picked up on Kaittos. It sort of tastes minty. The color is off-putting, I know.

[ It's a rather lurid shade of pink, which is a disconcerting color for tea to be. He tucks the blanket around her shoulders and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. ]

[Wanda makes a sound that was probably meant to be 'mm-hmm' in acknowledgment. She doesn't so much as raise her head until Erik returns, and even then, she only moves just enough to be able to take the tea.

She can manage a small smile for him, though.]

Thank you. [She looks down at the tea and blows on it. That's...very pink.] You know, you get used to strange colored foods after a while.

[After a moment, she chances a sip.]

It tastes better than it looks.

You may be more adaptable than I am. [ He smiles wryly. ] But all of my attempts at food-coloring have just made the situation far, far worse. I don't think I'll ever get used to that meat that stays the color of raw chicken when it's fully cooked.

[ He hesitates, and then gathers his courage before talking. ]

I made something for you.

You should have seen some of the food on the Moira.

[Loki had done his best to keep everyone fed with what they'd been able to pick up, but some planets had rather...interesting...ingredients to offer. Green meat had been really hard to stomach.

The tea seems to be helping, and if nothing else, the warmth of the cup is comforting. Wanda tries to focus on tangible things, on steadying and slowing her breathing. It will pass, she just needs to redirect her attention to the physical world. Erik's really good at this - this can't be the first time he's had to help an overwhelmed psychic.]

You did?

If it was worse than the protein cubes, I can't say I'm sorry to have missed that. [ He grimaces, and as he speaks he keeps his voice soft even when speaking emphatically. ] I simply can't understand how something can be so aggressively, offensively bland. And resist every effort to make it taste like anything interesting. Of course, it's better than starving. But only just.

[ It's such a familiar thing. Offer tea and company and talk of inconsequential things. Things to focus on that aren't the depth and breadth of feeling around them. The burden of carrying everybody else's pain. What a strange coincidence that he keeps finding himself in such a role.

He pauses in his musing and his rant about the nutrition cubes when she asks about the gift. ]

Ah, yes. As I've been sorting through the scrap, I've found a few trace amounts of precious metals. Not enough to do anything terribly useful with, but I was able to make this.

[ He hands her a Magen David pendant, silver with some gold and platinum accents, on a chain. ]

Ah, yes.

I Must Go On Standing

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