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Who: Clara & Erik
When: Mid-month, after Charles vanishes
Where: Erik's room
What: Talking and planning
Warnings: They'll probably really try to behave themselves, so nah

[When Clara realizes that she's been left in charge of the school upon Charles leaving, she feels a pressing sense of panic that she isn't sure the cause of. It's a lot of work, sure, but it's nothing she can't handle. It's when she makes her way back to Erik's room that night that she realizes maybe the sense of panic comes from the fact that she'll miss her friend and that she doesn't want to do things alone. Feeling like she can't just bring this up to Erik, however, she tiptoes around the issue until he shows sign that he's ready to address the matter.

They're in his bed, him sitting and her resting on her knees behind him. Her hands have been working at knots in his shoulders, but they pause and she leans over just enough to press her cheek to the top of his head. Her hands slip down from his shoulders until she's embracing him. She wants to talk and knows he must too, so she cautiously tries initiating things.]

Charles is gone.

[She bluntly speaks up, keeping her voice soft and thoughtful.]

He's gone, and I think we need to talk about it.

[Her breath is held after that, and she waits to see if she's gone and messed things up right from the start.]

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[ Erik is charming. It's a tool he's cultivated, and uses frequently. It's far easier to do what he wants without interference if people like him. It's empty, of course. Once he's gotten what he wants, accomplishes his goal, he leaves, sparing the various people he encounters no other thought.

It's effective, but lonely. He has very few friends, and very little knowledge of how to make them. Charles is, and has been for quite some time, the only one he would count as a true friend. His absence has been felt.

But still. When Erik arrived on Avagi he had been in the process of leaving Charles back on Earth. So this is fine. It's what he wanted. None of Charles' responsibilities have fallen on his shoulders, so it makes sense that Clara is more troubled by this turn of events. He sighs softly. Not out of anger or anything close to it. More out of resigning himself to the fact that he, once again, will not have the answers she needs. He doesn't like to disappoint. ]

So is Logan. And more arrive in their wake. If the pattern holds, I may be next. [ He turns his head slightly. ] I don't suppose that's what you wanted to talk about.

[Her arms around him tighten, definitely in a possessive sort of way.]

No, [She insists, lifting her cheek so she can place a kiss atop his head.] You're not going anywhere. I won't allow it.

[The idea that her word is actually some kind of law here makes her smile, because the little power trip brought on with thinking it goes right to her head.]

I'm worried about not being able to handle everything with the school, actually. I know I promised I wouldn't push anything to do with the school, but I don't think I can do it alone.

[ He laughs quietly and kisses the back of her hand. ] Well. If Miss Oswald says it's not allowed.

[ He isn't angry with her for bringing up the school. He just feels helpless. His neck and shoulders tense again.]

I don't have any experience with that sort of thing. I don't think I can be of much help. Although I'm sure one of the others can fill that role.

[ Nobody will be able to fill the gap left by Charles. He feels hollow inside. Weak as a reed. We always work better as a pair. Except when they don't. ]

[With a sigh, she slips around from behind him so she can sit at his side instead. There's a lot of thinking and planning that needs to be done now, and there's a much larger picture that she isn't sure he's thought of yet.]

I can take over as headmaster, no problem. You know I love being the boss.

[There's a flash of a smile, but it fizzles out before it ever really meets her eyes or amounts to anything more than exhausted humor.]

But a good deal of the students were living under his care. He mentored a great deal of others who are barely on the cusp of being an adult. They need to know they still have someone here they can turn to.

[ He slips his arm around her waist and pulls her closer, leaning his head on her shoulder. ]

It suits you.

[ It probably says something about him that he's repeatedly attracted to short, dark haired, bossy people. At this point, the only thing he's willing to acknowledge is if Napoleon ever ends up on the station he's done for.

His heart twists as she talks about the children. What would Nina be like if she had grown into adulthood? Would she look like Wanda? Would she laugh like Peter? No one will know, because of his failure. ]

I can't be that. [ He says softly, nothing in his tone but grief and regret. ]
I don't have that... Charles, he... [ His throat grows tight. How dare Charles leave him with this? ]

Peter is my son. He'd be better suited. The other children like him and he is used to helping his mother with his sisters.

Kurt has no idea what I'm capable of. Rogue knows better than I do. She... I did something to her. Or I will, possibly, if we weren't able to change the future for the better. But she doesn't trust me. She shouldn't.

Laura looks like Nina.

[ It's not her fault, and he doesn't try to hide his shame at the root of his problem with her. He lets go of Clara and rests his forearms on his knees. ]

[So, Peter's his son that's here. Clara's eyes widen a little because wow that could've been awkward if she had done more than just lightly flirt with him that day on the beach. She isn't sure if the others he name are his actual children or just ones that Charles took charge of caring for.

She does know Laura, however, since the girl is in her class. She can't imagine that she's handling all this change well, but also knows well enough to not push Erik to try and watch after her.

Not sure how to best be reassuring in this situation, she just runs her fingertips along his back slowly as she thinks over their options.]

I know you don't feel ready to take on this responsibility. But they're as good as your family, Erik. Tell me what to do, and you know I'll be there for you. I'll lead them if I have to. Take care of them however I need to. But I need your support. I can't do it alone.

[ Erik is quiet as he thinks. Her hand on his back keeps him grounded. Even so many years later, how easy it is to fall back into that feeling of profound isolation that was his existence in prison.

But he's not alone. Clara is there, and the touch of her hand on his skin won't let him forget it. ]

Your work is invaluable. I don't know what I would do without you. [ He glances at her with a ghost of a smile. ] Which means you're not allowed to go anywhere, either.

But. [ He sighs softly. ] They need somebody like them. Somebody who knows what they're going through, the way prejudice isn't only the deep, twisting stabs but also the constant small pinpricks. Someone who can protect them if it comes to that. Someone who will fight for them.

[ He thinks of Laura, and how she looks like Nina. And how much that hurts. This indestructible girl who could survive anything on her own. She could, but what kind of life is that? What was his life when he was surviving out of sheer rage? Nina's death isn't her fault. Her appearance isn't her fault. He can't let his own failure turn into a punishment she has to bear. ]

I'm what they have. It'll have to do until somebody else arrives.

[ He rubs his forehead. ]

Which will do nothing to help the problem with Rogue.

You're what they have, and they're lucky to have you. Even after someone else arrives.

[She stresses that point, reaching over to give a nudge to his chin so he'd look her in the eye. It's important to her that he finds a way to be able to deal with this responsibility he's had put on him. Even if he doesn't want it, it's his and he needs to be the one to step up and take care of it.]

A friend told me once that we always have a choice.

[That friend is the Doctor, of course.]

It may not always be between two good options, but we still have to make a decision. Even if you don't want to. You must.

[Her hand presses over his knee, giving her a grip to hold onto as she leans in to kiss him. For once, it's not an attempt to distract him. It's just a show of affection and solidarity. She's there for him through this.]

Mind if I ask what happened with Rogue, though? If you're bothering to mention it, it must be something big.

[ He meets her eye, though his gaze is somewhere else. ]

The last time I led anything, Raven and I were the only survivors.

[ He informs her as a matter-of-fact, because she has no way to know this. He failed The Brotherhood as completely as he had failed his own daughter. It's entirely possible that him claiming this responsibility is the most dangerous thing to face these children yet.

The topic of Rogue is one he definitely does need to address, though the thought of explaining it makes him tired. He lays down and stares at the ceiling for a while before answering.

It's hard to know where to start. ]

She's from a different point in time. A little over twenty years ahead of me. I saw one of her memories. It wasn't until later that I understood fully what I was seeing.

I hurt her. Or I will hurt her. She said she... died. The only reason she's still alive is because Logan was able to give her some of his healing ability. I forced my memories on her. Her powers work through skin contact.

[ He knows his explanation is disjointed and rambling. He is having difficulty putting it into words at all. The fact that he touched her against her will is one of the parts that bother him the most. ]

I don't know if this will happen. Charles and I changed the future ten years ago. Logan came to us to ask us to do it. Our future selves sent him. I don't know if it worked. These things still happened to her, she still remembers them. She still has my memories.

[ He rubs his forehead. ]

Whether or not I will do it, the fact remains that under those circumstances, I did. I will. I have that within me.

[It isn't lost on her how open he's being right now. All that he tells her is a lot to take in at once, and she's left quiet as she gives herself time to let it sink in. With the way he's laying now, she leans back so her head is resting on his stomach. She's turned so her legs dangle over the side of the bed, and she stares up at the ceiling like it will give her the answers he needs to hear.]

Thing is, the future isn't set in stone. We both know for a fact it can be changed.

[There's still time for the future where he harms someone to be changed, and she has faith in that.]

Now that you know what you're capable of doing, you'll have to do what you can to take a different path. Rogue's lucky that Logan was there for her. He's a good man, but Erik...

[She pauses, rolling so she can turn to look at him.]

You are too. You just have to choose to stay that way. Being selfless for a while to help those kids is a good place to start.

I don't know that for a fact. I never saw the future they were talking about. I have no idea if we managed to accomplish anything.

[ He curls his arm behind his head and props himself up enough to look at her. He doesn't bristle at her insistence that he is a good person. He's just tired of yet more expectations he will not meet. ]

Before I arrived here, the last time I saw Logan was in 1973. When I stabbed him with rebar and threw him in the Potomac to drown. I still don't know how he managed to survive that.

Have you seen him? He's built to survive anything.

[She smiles but tries to keep that smile out of her voice. And fails miserably. So she just covers her mouth with her hand for a moment before moving on to the more important point.]

His daughter's still here, you know. Her entire family is disappearing right before her eyes. I can't imagine how frightened and lonely she is right now. You can't make up whatever you've done to Logan, but you can be a better man by taking care of her. It's not her fault she looks like your daughter.

[ Erik sighs with an edge of frustration. ]

There has to be some way...

[ But thoughts of how precisely he can murder Logan are set aside as she starts to echo his own thoughts. ]

It's not about being a better man. That's not a question that interests me.

[ And for a moment, he feels the depth of his loss once more. Magda never tried to change him. He runs his fingers through Clara's hair. ]

I'll talk to her. For whatever good it might do.

What, you think I want you to be a better man? I wouldn't be with you if I wanted that.

[Some rudeness aside, he's been nothing but decent since arriving here. All she knows is him being a good man. The things he's said he's done don't entirely match what she's seen, though she knows that he's telling the truth.

Her eyes slide closed for a second as he runs his fingers through her hair.]

All you can do is try. There's only so much she'll let her teacher do. The other children will need you eventually, but the younger ones should always come first.

You wouldn't be the first.

[ He sighs. ] I'll say something to them. Most of them together and ... I don't know what to do about Rogue. It's probably for the best if I do not contact her, I don't think she would appreciate it. But perhaps a letter or something like that.

Hey.

[She gives him a little nudge.]

I mean it. I don't want to change anything about you. Whatever happens in the future with you and this girl -

[She pauses, realizing she has no idea how old Rogue actually is. She just assumes she's a teenager.]

Maybe it can't be changed. Maybe it's a fixed point. But I wouldn't push her if whatever you do to her is that awful. Write the letter, but wait to give it to her til some time has passed. Just long enough that she can gather her own thoughts and figure out what's best for her to do while she's here.

Whatever happens is something I did to her. When she was younger than she is now. I attacked a child.

[ His frustration flares not just at the language that seems to put them on equal footing, but also the difficulty of finding the right tense to talk about it. The future-imperfect-past-perfect tense. ]

I'm not going to push her on anything. The best thing I can do is keep my distance. Life on this station is difficult enough without forcing her into something she doesn't want.

[Clara goes quiet, sorting over her own thoughts on the matter. The fact is, no matter what kind of man he is here on the station, it seems like he's another one completely off of it. It creates a sense of conflict within her, but she still smiles sadly through it and tries to get him to see some reason. If she can get the Doctor from committing genocide and wiping out an entire planet, she can get Erik to come around too.]

You're speaking in past tense. Like it's already happened. And maybe it has for her. But it hasn't for you, not yet. As long as I'm here, you're not going to hurt anyone.

[ His brow furrows. He hates time travel. Even his experience with Charles and Logan leaves him turning the same question over in his mind. If they were successful in changing the future, wouldn't that mean that Logan never traveled to the past to urge them to do it? He threads his fingers through her hair again, letting it fall through his fingers. ]

It has happened for her. I saw her memories. I saw myself. I felt what she felt. To continue on as if it didn't happen would be unforgivable.

[ He sighs. ]

If we were successful in changing the future then I don't think it is something I will do. And I'm glad for that. Selfishly. But it still happened to her.

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