thisavrou_log | [open] do you know why the body is a prison?

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[open] do you know why the body is a prison?

Who: Sans and YOU! Open to literally everyone
When: Between this and the final judgment call on this.
Where: The Hold.
What: There's a skeleton in the dungeon, come let him rattle his bones at u
Warnings: Probably some mention of murder/death/etc! But mostly pretty tame, I imagine. Will edit if that changes.

The hold was incredible. Three solid walls, one semi-solid wall, a bench-bed hybrid that wrecked havoc on his back, and all the down time a skeleton could ask for. It was perfect. The best vacation he's ever had.

It'll be a real bummer once all of it goes away again.

Whatever the kid is up to, they're biding their time. And the few times a stray unpleasant thought passed through his skull, Sans is able to wave them away easily enough. He didn't care for thinking about Chara's dead body, so he didn't think about it. The worrying notion that, perhaps, this reality experienced time differently from what he knew...

Again: not thinking about it. The perfect cure, really.

Of course, he couldn't exactly stop people from visiting him here. With news spreading throughout the ship of what happened, more and more people were reaching out to him with why spelled out across their furrowed brows. Sans wished he could help them, sincerely. It would be a load off both their minds.

Too bad the answer was just too damn huge.

( ooc: feel free to visit sans in the hold any time, either before or after your character has 'cast their vote (or not)' on his fate. woo! )

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Steven is not one to give up on things, which is probably the only reason he's setting himself up for what could prove to be a thoroughly awkward and disappointing encounter. He's been thinking about what he wanted to say to him ever since the trial - rolling it over in his mind in the kind of obsessive way you do when you have to wait to take action. Calling Sans out in public obviously wasn't going to do anything, so he could only hope that later, privately, it would be different.

He is so serious about coming down to the hold that he walks fully on his hind legs for it, as if that provides him with some additional dignity. Really, though, he's just a kid that's puffing himself up for a confrontation. Steven is far from comfortable with conflict, especially with people he likes, and so it's taken some working up to.

So, naturally, when he actually gets to Sans's cell, he just kind of blurts it all out suddenly and without preamble.

"Sans...you...I get why this happened, probably, but what I don't get is why you're being such a jerk about it!" The little nymph is flush in the face with anxiety and frustration. "I thought...why are you acting like this?"

The visit is expected. The awkwardness is expected. The little monster's disapproval is expected.

But hell if Sans isn't thrown for a loop when Steven actually speaks. The kid isn't wrong of course, but being called on it from the least likely source is... Well, it's surprising. Maybe Sans wasn't paying as close attention as he thought.]

Uh... Sorry, kiddo. Those are the breaks sometimes. [And then, a little kinder:] This story's a little to big for you, kiddo. Maybe another time.

[Steven clenches his fists, his tail swishing back and force in agitation, inhaling as he bites back some kneejerk frustration. It's the same as when they were at the trial. He just keeps blowing him off...]

What do you mean 'for me?' [He doesn't want to be mean, but maybe he's more upset than he was trying to be.] You don't...you don't have to be like this. You just...are. And I don't understand why. But...it's not because I'm dumb!

Edited 2016-02-15 23:59 (UTC)

Whoa, whoa. [Sans holds up his hands, brow bone drawing down in wordless protest.] Nobody's saying you're dumb, Steven. You aren't.

[Some of the humor rushes out of Sans like a drain, leaving only an acidic chuckle as he pinches the space between his eye sockets.]

Tibia honest with ya, I'm not really sure where to start. And soon, none of it'll matter. You can chalk it up to me being lazy.

[Steven's ears fold back cautiously, but at the first sight of a genuine reaction from Sans, his anger is already fading and being replaced by concern. His phrasing is immediately worrying. People don't talk like that when they're okay.

'None of it'll matter.'

Steven's take on that sentence is probably a world apart from Sans's actual meaning, but both warrant a bit of distress. He sits down onto his haunches, gazing at the skeleton with a new sense of purpose. His words are patient when he speaks again.]

What do you mean, 'it won't matter'? Nothing's going to happen to you, Sans. It's gunna be okay...some people are mad, but...but they'll understand.

[He couldn't blame Steven for the confusion. After all, Sans had his reasons for being vague. Where he had all the time in the world to grow comfortable with life's futility, most people didn't. A statement that felt purely factual to him tended to rouse alarm in others, and, invariably, led to more questions Sans didn't have easy answers to.

Ah, well.]

It's not a bad thing, necessarily. Hell, some might call it freeing. [Not him, but some people.] Either way, you shouldn't worry about me and you definitely shouldn't repeat me. Killing is wrong. Don't do that.

Edited 2016-02-16 23:00 (UTC)

[Steven laughs frailly in the way is more inspired by something being sad than genuinely funny. What was that thing Garnet said that time? 'All humor is rooted in fear."

He doesn't necessary agree with that, but sometimes it really is. Like right now. He folds his root-like paws over his knees, frowning after a few moments of smiling sadly.]

If I didn't already, I'm not going to start now.

[He's quiet for a moment, and then continues. He logic is doing so is impulsive - like maybe if he confesses something deep Sans will feel like he can too. Like maybe there's nothing he could say that would be too much. Or, maybe he just kind of wants to get it off his chest. His tail swishes back and forth.]

I didn't really talk to anybody about this because I thought they'd be scared, but...monsters where I'm from had to eat humans. I think just because the Fog God hated them and wanted us to? It was kind of like everybody was a vampire except...sometimes they had to do worse stuff. And even if they tried not to, they'd end up doing it anyway. And if we died, we just kind of came back. Kind of like people do here, except probably more evil than helpful.

I never had to kill anyone...just...just because I was lucky and nymphs could just eat people who were already dead. Some people...couldn't though...

[It was hard to ignore the fact that sometimes Lapis would bring back a body for him and the other gems once she didn't need it anymore, despite the fact that Pearl tried really hard to protect him from that stuff.]

Killing is wrong, but it's...it's also kind of complicated, I guess...

[The sudden confession surprises Sans into quiet contemplation. The idle rattle of his bones as he fidgeted with boredom quieted, allowing each of Steven's words to detonate like little bombs in relative silence.

That silence persists a few beats past Steven's final thought, but there's no judgment in Sans' eye sockets. Nor is there much sympathy. If anything, Sans looks thoughtful and perhaps a little curious.]

Killing is still wrong, kiddo. [He seems to decide, declaring it confidently.] ... But the person cornered into doing the killing isn't always the one doing wrong. That Fog God of yours, she did wrong by putting ya in a position where you had no choice.

Still wrong, just not your wrong. Does that make sense? [A beat, a smile, a laugh.] ... Probably not.

Actually...it kind of does?

[He'd thought of it in similar terms before, that it wasn't anyone who was brought there's fault for what happened, but he'd never really phrased it so concisely. It settles a little easier when you can put the specific words to something so delicate.

Yet, it all just makes him wonder - how Sans did this, when he feels so strongly...]

So...who cornered you?

[His question is gentle.]

Was it Chara?

[It obviously was, to some degree, in that Chara's behaviour is what had made it happen. Yet, it's clear that Sans could have opted to disable instead of kill. What made him feel like he needed to kill, regardless?]

[The question wasn't anywhere near as much of a surprise as Steven's confession -- Sans was practically inviting it. Normally, he'd think twice about leaving himself wide open like this. At least in this case, he could hardly feel concerned about Steven using it against him. The kid was too sweet for his own good.

It's enough to make Sans almost guilty. He doesn't relish disappointing sweet kids.]

Nah... I was the one doing the cornering.

[Steven doesn't know how disappointed he actually is, because Sans's view of this isn't necessarily the most accurate. The sentiment is sort of strange, though. Though some part of him is worried about pushing things too far, he holds onto the subject regardless.]

...Was it because you were angry?

[He doesn't know a lot about their home situation, but based on what Chara did...being angry seems pretty normal. He's pretty sure that any of the Gems would do the same thing had someone tried to kill him in a similar manner.]

[Well. The kid certainly knew how to get to the point. Sans has to give him that.]

I... yeah. I was. [No use lying, not when this timeline was shot to shit already. The separation between children and adults wasn't a strict one, to Sans' mind. Kids could be awful perceptive, if you gave them half the chance. Hell if Steven wasn't proof of that.] But sometimes anger sits around so long, it changes. I dunno what I'd call it. But it's an ugly thing, kiddo. I mean that.

[Steven nods, accepting Sans's observation without questioning. Really, it makes nothing but sense to him. Every emotion seems to change and become different when put to the test of time. Love like Garnet's, that's been around so long it's like the two were never separate. Sadness like Pearl's at the loss of his mom. Anger that festers long enough that it causes a good person to do bad things. Fear that changes the way you see yourself and other people.

Steven glances downward, considering the concept deeply before speaking up again.]

I don't think I've ever had to feel like that, but...I think I understand. What you mean. If that helps...

[He idly scratches at the floor with a claw.]

Thank you for telling me.

Don't mention it.

[There's an exhaustion to Sans that permeates deeper with each passing minute they talk. Even now, he's slumped low on the cell cot, like his bones turned to jelly somewhere between Steven's arrival and the turn their conversation quickly took.]

Ah... for real, though. It'd mean a lot to me if you kept this between us. [Don't tell Papyrus in so many words.] Same goes for what you told me, 'course. I'm decent at keeping a secret.

I promise!

[He raises his hand to make an oath-like gesture, smiling sympathetically. He doesn't even know how he'd explain this to someone. The secret mostly seems to come down to 'Sans has feelings', and is that really something secret worthy? Maybe it actually is. Either way, he won't share it, because that's Sans's decision to make.]

You don't...umm... [He pauses, then, and scratches at his mossy hair.] It's not really a...I guess it's a secret because I haven't told anybody else. But if you ever...if there's ever a good reason that someone needs to know...

[Like if he does something bad because of it. He's never wanted his silence on the matter to result in something bad happening, and he lives in fear of the day it will.]

If I ever give people a reason that they need to know that about me, then you should tell them. I trust you.

[It's a loaded condition, and Sans squints his sockets in brief consideration. If Steven ever gives people a reason? The hesitation, the fidgeting...

Huh.]

I'm sure it won't come to that, kiddo. [Said with perhaps a little more meaning than Sans might otherwise.] And if it does, I'll have your back.

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