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thisavrou_log2017-12-02 07:50 pm
welcomeprofessor) wrote in thisavrou_log2017-12-02 07:50 pm
Entry tags:
seeing my past to let it go [closed]
Who: Charles Xavier (welcomeprofessor) & Jean Grey (greyate).
When: 12/2/17 (or really any time in early December).
Where: X-Wing, Chemistry floor.
What: Christmas is here early.
Warnings: IDK do I need to warn for excessive sap?
[ Charles has, at times, a tendency to let certain questions percolate for so long that he's often forgotten what the need was to even wait on them. Whether this is an inherent hesitance or a symptom of his increasing age (that he is willfully remiss to mention), the question of what he's meant to do with Jean is more complicated still.
It's a poorly kept secret that he has a softer spot for Jean Grey than any of his other students, and for the most part, he does well enough to keep it under wraps. If other students, or faculty, or even Hank (who surely knew, even if no one else actually does) have noticed, it's remained little more than baseless fodder for "teacher's pet" comments that Charles...has always had to weather, and would even if the accusation wasn't as true as it actually is.
Putting off the question, at least for a time, had allowed him to more easily deny that she'd grown up at all. But as she faces adulthood now--far sooner than he'd like or is properly fair--it is not a question he can continue to put off.
In addition to scouring Avagi's library for texts that may be at least marginally useful in an educational context that he can properly parse and turn back into a lecture or discussion, he's spent the last few weeks looking for specific information too, something that ventures far out of his purview of biology and inherited traits and the ethics of its discussion.
And on Kaittos too, all he'd needed was a notary. Difficult to find, and a steep price paid of a story he tells near no one else--how had he come to use the contraption he used for mobility, anyway?--but a price easily and willingly paid without question.
Coming back to the station after a vacation he hadn't wanted to see end, there had only been a single thing left to do: to tell someone else what it was he clutched in his hands more tightly than anything else on that extended supply run. It's only after being reassured this isn't actively a poor idea that he approaches Jean. He doesn't bother with a texted warning, wanting this to instead be as unburdened with anticipatory anxiety as possible. (He has plenty for them both).
The "object" he'd come back with is securely tucked away between the armrest of the chair and his immobile leg as he enters Jean's room with only a cursory rap of his knuckles at the door. ]
Jean? Do you have a few minutes?
welcomeprofessor) & Jean Grey (greyate).When: 12/2/17 (or really any time in early December).
Where: X-Wing, Chemistry floor.
What: Christmas is here early.
Warnings: IDK do I need to warn for excessive sap?
[ Charles has, at times, a tendency to let certain questions percolate for so long that he's often forgotten what the need was to even wait on them. Whether this is an inherent hesitance or a symptom of his increasing age (that he is willfully remiss to mention), the question of what he's meant to do with Jean is more complicated still.
It's a poorly kept secret that he has a softer spot for Jean Grey than any of his other students, and for the most part, he does well enough to keep it under wraps. If other students, or faculty, or even Hank (who surely knew, even if no one else actually does) have noticed, it's remained little more than baseless fodder for "teacher's pet" comments that Charles...has always had to weather, and would even if the accusation wasn't as true as it actually is.
Putting off the question, at least for a time, had allowed him to more easily deny that she'd grown up at all. But as she faces adulthood now--far sooner than he'd like or is properly fair--it is not a question he can continue to put off.
In addition to scouring Avagi's library for texts that may be at least marginally useful in an educational context that he can properly parse and turn back into a lecture or discussion, he's spent the last few weeks looking for specific information too, something that ventures far out of his purview of biology and inherited traits and the ethics of its discussion.
And on Kaittos too, all he'd needed was a notary. Difficult to find, and a steep price paid of a story he tells near no one else--how had he come to use the contraption he used for mobility, anyway?--but a price easily and willingly paid without question.
Coming back to the station after a vacation he hadn't wanted to see end, there had only been a single thing left to do: to tell someone else what it was he clutched in his hands more tightly than anything else on that extended supply run. It's only after being reassured this isn't actively a poor idea that he approaches Jean. He doesn't bother with a texted warning, wanting this to instead be as unburdened with anticipatory anxiety as possible. (He has plenty for them both).
The "object" he'd come back with is securely tucked away between the armrest of the chair and his immobile leg as he enters Jean's room with only a cursory rap of his knuckles at the door. ]
Jean? Do you have a few minutes?
no subject
It had been different before. When her mother was still alive, before her powers had manifested. To have a love and connection shut off so suddenly and abruptly - from both parents - Jean had been beside herself with a sadness she hadn't known existed. Like a darkness was going to eat her alive from the inside out. When Charles reached out to her, connected to her mind, it was the first time since the accident that she felt anything close to happiness.
Even then it took months to finally smile, laugh.
Ever since then, the bond between them has only grown stronger. The same is true of now. There had been a few bumps and Peter's slip up hadn't been appreciated at first but it was for the best in the end.
When he comes to her room, she's in the middle of trying to hang the few ornaments she managed to find in Kaittos. They aren't like the lights she had at the mansion but they twinkle nicely and that's good enough. She looks over at the doorway when she hears his voice, smiling, ]
Sure.
no subject
But it's been months. Surely it's close enough to Christmas now or something like it that this becomes doubly appropriate? He'd like to think so.
He finishes entering, letting the door close softly behind him. ]
It's hard trying to make this feel like home, isn't it?
no subject
Sometimes. Being able to go somewhere else helped a lot.
Kinda wanted to stay there...
no subject
[ It hadn't felt like home either, but it was closer than the station is. Kinder, certainly. ]
I can't imagine how the Romans did it. Communal everything.
[ The disdain that has remained since they got here is very plainly evident, but it's not angry. It carries a tone of self-deprecation, verging on humor, more than it does the real irritation that still sits underneath it. That isn't a thing for here or now. ]
no subject
Pretty sure they were more... lax with that sort of thing. These are the same people that drew you-know-whats on walls.
[ Dicks. All the dick graffiti. ]
no subject
I've seen the network here, Jean, people still do that.
[ He sighs for a moment, and then finally waves her down. ]
Very unrelated to any of that, I have something for you.
no subject
But she comes over, still grinning wide, ]
A new book?
[ Because that was always a gift she liked getting. ]
no subject
[ I.E.: no, but come to think of it, he should have. He'll owe her plenty when they get somewhere with them and that'll have to be good enough. ]
Though you may want to sit down for this all the same.
no subject
[ She almost pouts at that but then he's telling her to sit down and the only place she has in the room is her bed so she goes over to sit on the edge of that. ]
Is this... a good surprise?
[ She can try to pick up on his emotions but she's isn't going to 'peek behind the curtain' as it were. ]
no subject
[ Which slips out more than he actually intends to say it, but there it is. There's little sense in continuing to delay this when it's waited eight years (and what, ten, for her?). Quietly, he pulls out the envelope and presents it to her. There are no markings on it, nothing to denote or give away its contents. Manila simply is that. Manila. ]
If you can forgive the delayed arrival, at least.
no subject
...this...you...
[ She can't even get it out.
This is real? ]
no subject
Yes, it's real. ]
no subject
She can't put into words how she feels right now. It's overwhelming, the feeling. Shock, fear, affection, heartbreak, all the pain from so many years swelling up and crashing down and yet, most of all, the love she's felt for the man in front of her. She can't form words so she doesn't try to after a minute. She surges forward and wraps her arms around his shoulders, partly sobbing, partly laughing. Joy and relief are following on the edges of what came before.
She's no longer an orphan. ]
no subject
And as ever, he's here to catch her when she falls.
Charles immediately returns the embrace, firmly giving a squeeze before simply leaning into it to provide support and a barely present back pat. In that, he finally lets the tears go too; relief that this has worked out the way he'd hoped.
I love you, Jean. I'm sorry this took so long. ]
no subject
I never expected it.
She never thought anyone would want her as their child after what happened. She just didn't realize how deeply that seed of thought had planted itself until now. ]
no subject
But he could chastise himself for this all day, every day, were he given reason. Jean, however, gives none. All he gives instead is a quiet "shh," before pressing a kiss to her temple. It's an awkward arrangement, but Charles gives negative concern to it.
You have always deserved so much better. ]
no subject
You've always given me better.
Always supported her and cared for her. Taught her, listened to her, loved her. Everything a parent should do. For so long she's felt maybe she was cursed.
Now, she feels truly fortunate in a way she hasn't in a long, long time. ]
no subject
After a long moment like this, he finally breaks the silence: ]
I always knew I'd end up paying for college, one way or another.
no subject
Does this mean I go by 'Jean Xavier' now?
[ Her voice sounds hoarse but she could hardly care. ]
no subject
Very thoughtful, Professor.]Only if you want to.
no subject
And I can call you... Dad.
no subject
No one could possibly be honored more.
no subject
She squeezes his hand, feeling tears sting her eyes again and her voice about to crack but she's happy. So damn happy. ]
I love you, too, Dad.