all along the watchtower

[shiro2hero]

Who: Ex-Residents of Lion House
When: During the mediation center and ingress complex assaults.
Where: Angela Zeigler's old house
What: The remainder of Team Voltron piece themselves back together again.
Warnings: none yet
Notes: tag around, tag whoever, it's the saddest mingle log.


Angela's house is just as it was the last time anyone had stepped in. Dustier, colder. But the furniture is there. The non-perishable and medical supplies are there. It's still got some power to it, and for what isn't online, there's a fireplace and blankets. The smuggled cow is wandering around in back of the house. Out of sight.

It's off the beaten path.

As good a place as any to hunker down, wait out the storm of what might come. Make plans. Figure out what the next step is going to be, once the dust settles.

And address the absences from the household. The quiet where there should be red and blue. Their armor is settled into a chair, empty and waiting. They aren't whole anymore. Now they have to figure out where to go from here.

So nap, talk, make plans - the whole house is yours. It's going to be a long day and a longer night.

Comments

OTA

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin had never been to Angela's house before. He'd met the woman once; after the mishap on Eosoros. He'd pleaded with her to help his friend who had been battered and broken, all for his sake.]

[She saved him, helped him, and here he was now, with that same friend, unable to, once again, do anything meaningful for him. For anyone.]

[Things were dire, and Darin wasn't much in the mood for politeness and courtesy. Which is why he's currently going through one of the rooms with supplies. The medical supplies were useful, and he was already rummaging through whatever medical tech was lying around. Whatever he could appropriate, he was taking mental notes on. Mentally breaking it down into base components to be worked into larger designs and projects. He's working under the light of a dim and flickering lamp, still cloaked head to toe in that ratty brown cloak. He'd dyed his hair back to its normal deep blue hue, but the hood remains pulled up.]

[After his trip to the remains of Lion House with Allura and then the trip here, Darin had more than enough to think about. And he didn't want to think about any of it. So he's currently cataloging whatever he can find, mumbling to himself as he works.]

You'd think that by now you'd have learned, dummy. Sometimes I think Dromas was actually right...

[justice_from_above]

Right about what?

[Fareeha asks softly, walking into the room and offering him a mug of tea. She herself is down to the sleek black undersuit of her armor systems, punctuated with docking points for the armor plating. The armor isn't designed for the kind of extended-wear use she's been putting it through, though, and it's clear there's some wear and tear that need to be addressed to avoid catastrophic failure. She'd have to fix them at some point, but right now she really lacked the tools and time.]

How are you doing, Darin?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin looks up, his green eyes cloudy. He hasn't slept well for some time, and it's really starting to show. He looks from Fateeha to the mug, and wordlessly accepts the drink. He blows on it idly before taking a sip, then nods his thanks to her.]

Back when we were kids, Dromas used to say we didn't belong with people. That they'd never understand us...that we have a duty to elevate ourselves and be better than normal people.

[He looks down somberly at his mug.]

When I was little, I thought that it meant we just had to work harder to be accepted. Now, I know it's because he thought we were superior. And because of that...we don't belong with normal people.

I've been thinking about that more and more lately...

[shiro2hero]

I sort of thought he was a jerk. But... I only saw the one memory.

[He probably should have knocked or something. But it honestly didn't occur to him. Not right now. He'd just leaned in the doorway, as if expecting to see someone else among them missing.]

[It's both a relief and a rising current of anxiety when he sees the familiar back of a head. Or hood, as it were. It's dark in here, but what little light there is just serves to cast the shadows under his eyes darker than usual. Keeps his voice quiet, hushed. It sounds less raspy that way.]

So what do I know?

[forgeabettertomorrow]

He was, but I didn't really know better at four years old.

[Darin doesn't turn to face Shiro. He continues rummaging and pulling odds and ends out to examine them.]

You know enough. Probably more than me. Why do you think I'm here.

OTA

[alformthearm]

     He doesn't know whose home this may have been. It doesn't look like its been in use for some time, probably even before the Savrii had rounded all off-worlders up and confined them.

     While they'd had things to do, tasks to see through, things to occupy their thoughts, Alfor had felt more connected, but then his time had been spent majorly between several of the paladins and their acquaintances, one being his own daughter. Once they'd all been reunited again, he'd given Allura a tight hug. But that's not quite right, is it? They're not all here.

     Now he can't help but feel awkward, out of place. Two of the new paladins are noticeably absent. But he's here. There's no relation to the two circumstances, but it just feels...not right.

     Perhaps they're all holding onto some hope that they were just delayed somewhere, and that at any given moment, word would come, or they'd step through the doorway. Alfor knows he's certainly been looking in that direction, or stealing looks out the window whenever he passed.

     Darin had brought back his armor, the white one that even the current paladins would be familiar with from his older, holographic self. For now it remains in a neat pile on a side table, along with his sword. There's also his bayard, a match for the red armor that rested in the chair with a set of blue, and more than once his eyes have drifted towards them.

     Is it so strange to feel sad for those you've not met before? And yet he feels that it's more than that, it's sadness for those left here without them. After all he's heard from Shiro, he knows it can't be easy to think that two of their comrades are missing.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Darin is restless. He hadn't been sleeping properly, his mind racing with so many 'what ifs' that he can't seem to calm down. He didn't like being left alone with his thoughts, but this was something delicate; a problem he'd never had to face before:

His heart and his mind, two facets of his personality that often clicked and worked and moved forward together, were at odds. His mind, taking past experiences into account was understandably bracing him for a decision he felt he'd have to make.

His heart? For the first time in his life his heart desired something that he didn't have a coping mechanism for. Love. Acceptance. Happiness. A future. All of it was so uncertain and now, two of the people who had offered him that place for his heart to call home were no longer there.

His greatest fears were becoming reality. He couldn't make a big deal about it because, as much as he's hurting, the rest must have been hurting so much worse. It's almost as if he didn't deserve to feel this grief. No, he had to be the rock. He had to put the positive spin on things, to be the first to offer a smile to those who were no doubt trying to find ways to cope with the loss of not one, but two family members.

So he often paced and patrolled the house and its grounds. When he sees Alfor, he makes his presence known by clearing his throat. He paints a grin on his face, though the light is gone from his green eyes.

"This really isn't the kind of reunion anyone was expecting, Your Majesty."

[alformthearm]

     Sometimes some people prefer to be alone to wrestle in solitude with the things they're trying to work out. Others don't mind the company, or just need a reminder that they don't have to deal with things alone.

     Alfor glances at Darin, only able to offer but a wry smile although it feels natural, at least. The sadness is there, but at the same time, there's warmth. He can see it in Darin's eyes, that he's trying to help in what ways he can, and if that can't be appreciated, then what can?

     "...no, I didn't think it was," he says, managing not to insist on the need for formal titles. Darin had said he'd rather at least stick to them in the presence of others. Still, Alfor felt anything but royalty right now.

[shiro2hero]

He probably doesn't find Alfor until sometime... after. After it's clear no one is coming. The armor lying in the chair, neatly stacked and ready, isn't going to be filled any time soon. It doesn't mean he's come to terms. Maybe he won't ever while they're here and he's no closer to a solution.

Before he really thinks it through, and therefore stops himself, he's lifted the red helmet.

It's funny. How utterly empty it looks like this.

It's funny, how much it suddenly weighs in his hand. When he finds the king. And holds it out to him. Metal fingers don't shake. It's a small blessing.

[alformthearm]

     A house this full shouldn't nearly be so quiet. The heavy atmosphere's made all the more evident by the lack of words, by how people just seem to be overly careful in not wanting to disturb the fragile mood.

     Alfor hasn't strayed far from the main room since they'd gotten there. He'd cleaned off a chair at some point, angling it by one of the windows to keep watch, either for the chance of those missing or in case some Savrii patrol might wander this way. It's little enough of an excuse that helps give him a break from his thoughts, although just barely.

     He hears the footsteps of someone's approach. It's hard not to notice, and the Altean kings isn't one to ignore it. Slowly he straightens from where he'd little by little begun to slump in the seat, raising his head as he turns it in Shiro's direction. Although he'd meant to look up at the paladin, his eyes stop half-way as they fall upon the red and white helmet, and he stares.

     It's his helmet, and it isn't. It shouldn't be, not here. His feelings are conflicted as he looks at it, considers the gesture. Gradually he raises his eyes up to meet Shiro's.

[im_a_leg]

Hunk knew Alfor had been here, of course. Shiro had warned him, and he'd come up with a list of half serious half fun questions for him. They'd laugh, talk about being legs, and Hunk would fix them something to eat. They'd talk tech and engineering -- he'd get to chat with the man that constructed the very lions they piloted. There was so much he could learn.

And then Lance and Keith left. His friends were gone. And for all of his energy and all of his heart, he couldn't bring himself to muster up the energy to be excited about much of anything right now.

All the same, he tries to muster a smile for Alfor. It's not his fault. He must be feeling the same things Hunk did when he arrived -- new, out of place.

"Hey. Kinda showed up at a weird time, didn't you? Sorry about all this."

[alformthearm]

     Alfor had mostly kept to himself once they'd got as settled as they could here in this place. He wanted to give the others space, and he hoped that his presence wasn't like rubbing salt into the fresh wound of the reminder that those that should have been here, weren't.

     The voice addressing him isn't one he's directly spoken to before. Lifting his head, he looks at the young man, and while the smile he would have preferred isn't fully formed, it's an honest one, if sad. Slowly, the king shakes his head.

     "It's not as though any of us had any say in things. I'm sure there would have been great objections on one point or another. If anything, I feel like I should be the one apologizing, but I know that really won't change anything either."

OTA

[justice_from_above]

The minute Fareeha had gotten her armor back, she'd been wearing it like a second skin, but now that they have the time and the shelter, she carefully removes the bright blue plating in order to give her back a break and do some light stretching. It's carefully arranged in an out of the way corner, though near enough that she can get to it in a pinch.

The next order of business is to get a fire started in the fireplace. A small one, since they don't need to give themselves away with a lot of smoke, but something large enough to boil a pot of water and make tea for anyone who wants it, confiscating teabags and mugs from the kitchen.

Without a word, she leaves two mugs by the abandoned armor. She hadn't known Keith and Lance as well as some of the others, but well enough to feel their absence now. Besides, if they were friends of Shiro's - they were good people.

She settles cross-legged on the floor, near enough to fire to tend it, and blows lightly on her tea to cool it off.

[shiro2hero]

"Thank you."

He probably should do better at announcing himself. Probably shouldn't be moving around Angela's house like it's his own. Even if something tells him she'd have wanted that. He tries not to think on it too hard -- it means adding her face to the missing ones.

Still, the thanks is sincere, murmured from the doorway to the room. He's peeled out of his armor, too, leaving him in black, a slightly darker shadow against the rest of the house.

"I couldn't remember how to do that right now if I had an exam on it."

Maybe it's supposed to be funny, but it comes out flat.

[justice_from_above]

Fareeha looks up and ghosts him a faint smile, and then nods towards one of the open, dusty chairs.

"You don't need to know how to do everything right now, Shiro; let someone else take the reigns for a bit. You should relax." Her voice is tired and soft, but compassionate. They've all been through a lot, but as a fellow Captain, she knows the underlying weight of responsibility for everyone under your charge. Currently, even with their losses, he's looking after more people than she is. She can afford to be the adultier adult for the mean time, if it meant he got some rest.

OTA

[shiro2hero]

(1)
I'm sorry.

[He's said it a half dozen times already. Ever since they'd made it. Ever since it became clear they were missing part of their team. Since it was obvious they weren't coming back. He hadn't wanted to accept it. He still doesn't. Maybe that's why he's here, alone in the room for now, staring at the neat piles of armor, as the light outside starts to fade out.]

[It feels like a vigil.]

I let you down. Both of you... [No one is here to correct him. Here in Angela's house, where he'd cracked first. So the words come freely enough. His head bowed over his hands. Their faces still fresh in his mind. Lance across the table, telling him their future. Keith hesitating, the hope in his eye for a minute when he heard the promise to change it.]

[But he hadn't. Had he? Not for them. They were still going back to a world where he'd left them.] I was... I was hoping you guys'd get to be normal for a while. Not have the universe on your shoulders.

Maybe you did. For a few days. And I -- I was so proud of you two, the way you settled in here. Picked up and carried on like you did. Looked after each other, after everyone else. I hope you knew it.

[He shoves his hands through his hair. It's gotten longer, he notes, distantly. Words choking thick in his throat until holding them back hurts. He's grateful, there's no one immediately in the room to see when he hunches over his knees, half-curled where he sits.]

... I miss you guys already.


(2)
[At some point later, it's time to find the others. To talk to them. Face them, and decide what should be done with the armor. What to do now. If they try to leave the planet. Try to find the Castle out in the universe.]

[The kitchen seems like a good place to start.]

[Also, a good place for a caffeine kick. Because he doesn't foresee sleep in his future. Not with the memories surfacing as they are.]

Anyone find the coffee press?

[im_a_leg]

[Hunk and Shiro hadn't had a serious conversation since the cookies. He knew Shiro was struggling, maybe more than the rest of them did.

.. with the rest of them being a much smaller number now. The reminder sent a sharp pain through Hunk's heart.

He missed his friends. A lot. He and Lance in particular hadn't been apart for longer than a few weeks since the Garrison.

So when he finds Shiro in the kitchen, he knows his face. He knows what that expression means, that tired half-hearted attempt at normalcy. From a guy who was losing it to begin with.

Hunk returns it. Hopefully Shiro can read that same quiet grief, the solidarity and support for his leader in his expression.]

Yeah, man. I'll make some for you.

[shiro2hero]

[Seeing Hunk is both welcome and... a reminder. Hunk was closer to Lance than anyone. How must he be feeling right now? And here's his "fearless leader", having screaming matches with Darin and brooding over empty armor. Great.]

[He nods, though, stepping to lean against the counter, dropping his head into his hands, wearily.]

Thank you. I'd... like to not burn Angela's kitchen down.

[More forced humor. But also real gratitude.]

OTA

[pidge_out]

[Maybe Pidge is just wired differently. Because she has a different way of grieving over the friends - the family - that she's just found out have been taken away. The part of her that she might still be able to label as "Katie" is definitely mourning the loss, but that's only visible in the bags under her eyes and the slight redness lingering in the corners. The rest of her has decided she needs to do the only thing she can: Try to get information from the Ingress, from the Savrii, from anyone. Try to get confirmation that her friends have indeed been returned home, safely folded back into place along their timeline. Safe, even if it meant they might not remember ever being here with the rest of them. In the Lion House. With Darin and Fareeha.

Katie's heart aches at the thought. Pidge immediately shuts that shit down.

Maybe it's better this way. They don't have to remember the weird Shadow Shiro business, the awful time spent "wandering the wastelands"-- anything terrible Lance and Keith may have encountered on their own. They won't have to regret no longer being able to lead a "normal" life, in a house on a sturdy planet where they could be around more than five other humans at any given moment. No false promise of a home more like Earth.

Pidge shakes her head as she taps away at the laptop Shiro's recovered for her, sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room area as if that's simply her new base of operations. With a deep exhale she straightens slightly, leaning away from the screen and pushing her glasses up into her hair and pressing her fingers into her eyes. She's been up too long now, maybe. But she has no info and she needs it. She needs that confirmation that Lance and Keith are absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, safe. It could be a very long time before they see each other again, if at all...

She lets out a huff, her hand still pressed to her eyes. She won't cry again. She's done crying. Now it's time to try to get something - anything - done.]

... Idiots... Just give me something... [It doesn't stop her from missing them, though.]

[shiro2hero]

... what are you looking for?

[He's more like a ghost in the house than any of them. Darin's loud and yelling, Alfor and Hunk are busying themselves elsewhere, Fareeha is making herself useful. What is he supposed to do? Except for check up on them all. Walking around in the black suit usually held under their armor.]

[... Make sure they're all still here.]

[He doesn't step all the way into the room. The sound of the stream outside is still audible. Even with her tapping away at the computer. It sounded calming, once. Serene. Now it just sounds sharp and hollow.]

Sorry, I -- should have knocked.

[pidge_out]

[She jumps a little when she hears Shiro's voice, twisting around to get a look at him from her spot on the floor. Her laptop slips slightly, and Shiro can probably see all the windows she has pulled up with all the endless lines of code filling them up. It probably doesn't make sense to anyone but her. Not that it matters. What does matter is that Shiro can probably see the weariness on Pidge's face. She doesn't even bother trying to hide it. Certainly not from him. Instead she just sniffs at him once, turning again to rearrange the way her computer sits in her lap, pushing her big glasses up her nose like that'll shield her eyes from view.] I'm just. Trying to get a read on the Ingress. The usual.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin hasn't been sure how to approach Pidge since they relocated to the house. She'd been poring over that laptop almost continuously since she'd gotten it set up, and whenever Darin ghosted through the living room, he'd heard her steadily takkatatakkatatakkata typing away in a seemingly fruitless search. He hardly saw her move in days.]

[Darin knew what was going on. He might not have known what exactly she was doing, but he knew coping when he saw it. Because it was eerily similar to what he did when he was a kid. When things went bad, get to work. At least you'd be productive, rather than letting yourself get consumed by something you couldn't fix. He also knew how easy it was to get lost in that work.]

[So, he silently moves and sits beside her, still covered head to toe in an old and tattered brown cloak. His hood is pulled back, and he sets down a plate of food; some blue eggs and water, and a little toast, next to her.]

You need to eat something. You might not want to, but you should try. You'll get sick if you don't.

[pidge_out]

[She's so absorbed in what she's doing, in scanning every line and character on the screen in front of her for something useful, that she completely doesn't hear when Darin sits down next to her. It's the sound of his voice that startles her back into reality, blinking repeatedly as she adjusts to looking at the world outside of her computer. Pidge turns to look at him quickly, eyes wide and tired and just the slightest bit reddened. He's probably never seen her like this; usually when she's upset about something to do with her friends, she's able to do something. This time... This time is different. There's only so much she can even attempt to do. And it's frustrating. She feels so useless. It's Dad and Matt all over again.] I-I'm fine. [She looks down at the food he's brought her, but it's like the sight of it isn't quite registering.] I had some water earlier... [Though that could've been yesterday. Pidge isn't sure.]

OTA

[patchricide]

Keep track both of what you find, and how much you're using. Until everything is behind us, we should do our best to ration everything.

[It probably seems cold of Allura, the way she's reacting to the missing paladins by putting her nose back down to the grindstone. But is it all that surprising, knowing Allura? As usual, she's trying to push past her grief by keeping focused on what's still ahead. There's traces of her real feelings hidden in the corners of her face, reshaping her expression into one that's unusually grim. But otherwise...]

[She kneels down and sets down her four mice in one corner of the room.]

You'll take a look too, won't you? How about you check for an attic or a basement?

[And they scamper off as she starts joining the search for supplies. When you cross paths with her again, she might be checking a linen closet for extra blankets.]

[shiro2hero]

We'll see how much more we can fit in the discs. Maybe even use the cow.

[It's something to fall into. A pattern to focus on. Follow orders. Make plans. Keep busy, keep moving until something changes. This way you don't have to think about who you're missing. Who isn't here.]

[Who you let down.]

I'm -- glad you're here. That you got here all right.

[But far be it from him not to use at least a little energy and attention to make sure someone else is okay. The look on her face is anything but comforting. Even if he understands, to an extent, the need to push forward.]