thisavrou_log | If You Listen Close, You'll Hear the Sound / of All the Ghosts That Bring Us Down

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original character: darin altway

If You Listen Close, You'll Hear the Sound / of All the Ghosts That Bring Us Down

Who: Darin, Open to Close and Semi-Close CR!
When: This week
Where: Kauto: Region 5 Hospital
What: Darin's been comatose since his bout with his shadow and it's time to wake him up with SCIENCE
Warnings: Probable blood and physical trauma

While his condition has stabilized since the shadows were officially defeated, Darin definitely isn't in the best of shape. His wounds are taking much longer to heal than they normally should, his skin is pale, and he's showing no signs of any real mental activity. In short: he's comatose. But, there's a glimmer of light in this dark cloud. Using experimental technology, someone (or a group of someones) can reach into Darin's consciousness and maybe try and pull him out of it. The problem? This might not work at all. Or things could go from bad to worse for everyone involved.

What's the worst that could happen?

I-The Hallway-
Interestingly enough, Darin's head isn't just a massive void of empty space peppered with memories of some really great explosions. Nor is it a palace with massive golden statues proclaiming just how amazing he is. It's just...a really long hallway. Each door is unmarked and unlocked, but if you put your ears to them, you can hear muffled voices coming from within. The hallway doesn't seem to have an end though. Pick a door, who knows what you'll find?

II-The Night It All Went to Hell-
One of the doors leads to a rather quaint hillock overlooking a quiet port town. It's dark out, but there's plenty of light from the spattering of stars and the twin moons; red and white respectively, giving the scenery and almost ethereal violet hue. There's a modest home on the hillock itself...which seems to be the source of some commotion. There's the sound of a fight, then some yelling. And then, finally, the spark of a fire being started...

III-Life Goes On-
This door leads to a bustling street in the port town itself. At the end of the street is a rather large smithy, and there appears to be a full garrison of knights standing about the premises, waiting impatiently. The sea are brings the fresh smell of salt on the breeze, and some of the knights are complaining to an older, stout looking gentleman about the rust on their gear. Meanwhile, a beleaguered, blue haired youth, no more than ten years old, is doing his best to measure up an impatient knight for some new armor. Except he's gone and tripped himself up with the measuring tape and fallen into one of the large barrels of water, sending a mixture of laughs and groans rippling through the platoon.

"Why do you even keep this kid around, Acteon?! He's more trouble than he's worth!"

IV-Something's Not Quite Right-
This door leads to an even larger marketplace...not just a port side town anymore. No, this is a huge bazaar in some forgotten nation's capital. There's stalls selling any kind of wares you can imagine: exotic fruits and spices, weapons and armor, fine silks and furs, if you can dream it, it's likely being sold here! Some well armored and equally armed guards push by you quickly though and head towards what seems to be a throng of people circling up. Follow them and you'll see a large man looming over that stout smithy from the previous door, who is in turn standing in front of a gangly-armed, teenage Darin.

"What's all this about?"

"Your brat! He comes up to my stall and he...he breaks my weapons right in front of my paying customers!"

"Look, I was just showing these fine folk what inferior gear looks li--" Darin is cut off by the larger weaponsmith.

"MY GEAR IS THE BEST IN THIS REALM!! ACTEON, EITHER REEL YOUR FREAK IN, OR I'LL HAVE HIM IN CHAINS!"

Darin's smug look turns enraged, and he's already jumping over Acteon to try and throttle the man.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME YOU SECOND-RATE--"

The guards are already dogpiling on Darin which...doesn't necessarily slow him down. He pushes through them, and instead of attacking, just turns and runs for the nearest alleyway.

V-Chain of Command-
This door leads to...almost nothing, really. In fact, all that can be seen in this low light is what appears to be a massive steel gate. The bars reach up seemingly forever, and beyond the gate, there is nothing but blackness. The doors to the gate are pushed open slightly, but they're not fully open yet. Something appears to be keeping the doors themselves from being forced ajar completely. That something is Darin, hanging and covered in hundreds of chains, all of which are wrapped around the many massive iron bars. He appears to be hanging limp, but upon closer inspection, his arms are pulled taut, the muscles flexed and tight. As if, though unconscious, he's fighting to keep the iron gates shut.

-WILDCARD-

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"Yes?" Does she actually have to explain this concept to him? Darin, why are you like this.

"Like you said, you never actually had to put up with me. And yet you did, and somehow... somehow I doubt that Shiro was the only reason why. Nor that you're actually that easy to push around."

"... are you?"

"Yeah, I know I didn't. And yeah, Shiro was a huge driving factor in wanting to get along with you but..."

He crosses his arms over his chest.

"From the first day we met, you gave me a hard time. You talked down to me. You made me feel inferior just because my world wasn't nearly as technologically advanced as what you're used to. Since that first moment, I guess I just...wanted to prove myself. So no, you're not some stand-in for Iris. You're Allura, and she's Iris, and that's that. All I wanted was to hear the things she said, but in your voice. But it never came. Hell, even after waking up from a near-death experience, the first thing I got was a lecture."

He looks down at his hands.

"I've been seeking your eye and your approval from the moment you first said two words to me. But standing up and screaming 'notice me' just isn't something I can do."

"You say that, but I remember you having an attitude from the moment you opened your eyes..."

But that's still lecturing, isn't it?

"... look. I'm sorry if I can be... somewhat demanding, at times," she says with the sort of strained effort that comes with admitting things you'd rather not. "But I never actually meant to make you feel inferior. You have such strong feelings about how we should be more understanding of the things we do and say. And yet, it feels sometimes like you pick everything I do and say apart, looking for the worst part of it."

"Or perhaps, maybe that's something everyone does, and you're the only one honest enough to admit it."

"How would you feel if people you respected saw some of the darkest, most intimate moments of your life?"

The question was simple and direct.

"You saw the night it all started. You saw the night I lost everything...and then you saw the moment someone other than my adopted father saw something in me. Something even I didn't think was there. Shiro? He saw what my life was like before the demons killed my dad and Dromas...how kids would throw rocks at me because Dromas and I looked different. How their parents told us to stay away from us because it was thanks to us our mother died."

He takes a shaky breath.

"You guys saw things that...it would take years for me to readily talk about. And you both got front row seats. Can you blame me for being on the defensive? And not just that but--"

He catches himself and shifts uncomfortably.

"Nevermind. It's...really not important. And I'm sorry if I give you a hard time. It's partly me being defensive, and part me just...wanting to see you as happy and as free as Iris was when she and I traveled. Because you have the same fire she does and...I want to nurture that. That fire draws me to you."

Well, he's nurturing another kind of heat in her. She's not doing a good job of hiding it, but she's blushing at that last remark.

"N... no, you're probably right to be defensive. When you put it all like that..." Hey, window, how are you doing? Still as good as 15 minutes ago? Good, good. "Perhaps living in the middle of war for so long has made me insensitive about all this. And made me a stick in the mud."

If we switched, and you saw my memories, would you understand why I'm like this as well?

"... ... ... would it make you more comfortable if we forgot all about it? I'm not even sure if I can, but..."

"No. You don't...you don't an opportunity to learn about someone like that often. You know. It's on the table. Taking it back would be like shutting the door in your face and that's not what I want to do."

He's been looking at the floor for awhile now. Every so often he runs his hand through his hair, front to back, as he often did when he was feeling unsure of himself. Vulnerable.

"It's hard for me to talk about those things, so you guys seeing them just makes it all the easier to get out there. In some ways, I wish you hadn't done what you did because it was too dangerous. I had made peace with myself and what I did. I was ready to..."

He can't say it. The word catches in his throat. They had gone into his mind and retrieved him but he can't parse how much of that was duty and how much was something more? It churned his stomach to think about. He'd have done it for Shiro, and in fact almost gave his life already for the man whom he loved like a brother. Had the roles reversed, he had no doubt that the entire team would be there at his bedside, and when he awoke, they'd be clinging to him, thanking their lucky stars that he was back. Darin would be among them as well, of course.

But here he was, waking up almost alone. As if his decision and the leave he'd made with himself were just a foregone conclusion; an event that, in the grand scheme of things, did little but cause problems for those around him. He felt his cheeks burning then. Out of embarrassment. Shame. He'd made peace with himself and was prepared to die but the tongue lashings he got upon awakening was the last thing he had secretly hoped for. He rubs at one eye, forcing a bit of a yawn.

"Either way, what's done is done. No sense dwelling on past mistakes."

"Maybe we were the ones who weren't ready."

Allura, not dwell on the past? Naaaaah.

"Perhaps... there are times that I think that the three of us are all cut from the same cloth. Not that I can speak much on Shiro's behalf, but you and I both know what he's like. For all his maturity, he can be the most reckless among us when it comes to his own safety. And whatever reasons may lay at the root, I'm sure that it's much like you or I. It's very easy to be selfless when the thought of someone else being in harm's way is unbearable."

"It was enough trouble when it was just him and I. When I tried to save him, he took it as his own failure; just as it was a sore spot for me that he turned around and endangered Voltron for a rescue mission. And now, there's one more person who'd take a bullet for the both of us."

She pauses, looking at him to confirm. Not really needing a confirmation.

Darin waves her off.

"It's fine, Princess. You know the truth as much as I do. Hell, it's my job now to look after you all. And I do it happily."

"I hope you keep on doing it. Because that's hardly the only reason I would be a mess if anything bad did happen to you."

How's that for some truth?

He chuckles softly.

"A mess? You? Over me? Princess, I appreciate the sentiment, but I think we both know you're strong enough to carry on without me. It's why I did what I did in the first place. If I thought for a second otherwise, I would have hesitated for sure."

"Only because I'm very good at carrying on while being a mess inside."

"... ... ..."

"That didn't come out right." She clears her throat and tries again. "But I assure you that if you didn't come back, I would spend the rest of my life blaming myself."

"Don't ever blame yourself for my choices. I do what I do because I can. Because I can do things others can't."

He pushes himself to his feet and wanders over to that window.

"When something happens to me, I fully expect you to keep doing what you have to do. You don't have to forget me but...just know that I did what I did because you guys have something far greater than me to take care of."

"Is it selfish to want both?" It's a quiet admittance, as she keeps all her conflicting feelings from coloring it. "To want you to stay with us, as you are, without giving up everything else in the process?"

She finally turns to face him again, and attempts eye contact. "That's part of what that greater thing is, right? A future that we can all enjoy, together."

That draws a surprised look from Darin and he turns her way.

"Allura..."

He doesn't know what to say.

"I didn't know...a future you hoped for. Included me."

"Why wouldn't it?" She sounds genuinely confused. "I know we didn't see eye-to-eye for quite some time... and still don't always, even now. But you've also proven to be a very dear friend. It feels as though we've just started to have adventures together. Why would I want that to stop?"

There she goes, having trouble looking him in the eye again. "Perhaps it's because of how much I've lost already, but... honestly, if it wouldn't leave a universe on my conscience... I've thought about how nice it would be to stay here, if things could stay the way they are."

"W-wait. Wait are you saying...? Are you saying I make you want to stay here?"

His face visibly flushes and he runs his hand through his hair again.

"I uh...I'm..."

"I'll...I'll keep. I'll keep your feelings in mind...from now on..."

"Well, don't you agree? I'm sure if you had the choice, you'd stay with everyone in Lion House in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?"

At least I'm finally getting through to him.

"So please, yes. If you're going to look out for everyone -- and for me -- stay with us."

"R...Right. Right! You and everyone else! Everyone! Together!"

He laughs incredibly nervously.

"You got it, Princess! I won't be going anywhere!"

"Exactly. It's sort of like having a family again, to tell the truth."

There's a squeak of dissatisfaction from the mice. "... what? Oh, I see how it is. You all stay quiet when we're arguing, but now you want to throw me some critique? What problem do you even have with that? You're all part of that family too, you know."

"Sounds like a plan to me! In fact, I can't wait to get out of here and get home to everyone!"

He laughs again. Man, why did he feel so off? What was with him? Why were his cheeks burning sndnwhy was his face so red? Thankfully, the mice appear to provide a welcome distraction.

He steps forward then and reaches towards her shoulder to scratch under Chulatt's chin.

"Maybe they're upset that we were ignoring them for so long? I don't know, you're the one who can understand them. What are they saying?"

"They said that was 'harsh'. I'm not sure what, exactly. ... calling him family? Why would that be-- wait. Is this because he doesn't like royalty? Well, I'm sure that doesn't extend to the idea of being royalty."

She gives a confused look at the mice, and then passes a shrug at Darin. The green mouse (Plachu) facepalms.

"I don't really get it...but I guess maybe they think that you have a harsh visage? Oh, wait! Now I get it! They're saying that if you don't stop acting so harsh, you'll get wrinkles! You are over ten thousand years old, after all! And you know, I agree! You wouldn't want more wrinkles than you already have!"

He nods, having figured it out completely. Good job, self.

"Wh- what?! I do not have any wrinkles! ... do I?!"

If it was just Darin, that would be one thing. But the implication that the mice would say it... she looks at them, begging for that to not be true.

In a sudden hurry, she runs into the bathroom and checks the mirror. Plachu and Chulatt bail, already taking refuge with Darin.

"... I suppose you all think you're very funny, don't you!"

Darin lifts Plachu and Chulatt to the top of his head so that they can nest in his thick, spikey hair. Almost defiantly, he crosses his arms over his chest.

"For your information, I think I'm hilarious. And also adorable."

"There is nothing adorable about you teasing me like that!"

She looks down to each shoulder, and then up at his head.

"... and why are all of you encouraging him?!"

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