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Who: Kazuhira Miller | Various
When: April
Where: Wherever labeled
What: General OTA starters for this month
Warnings: Will warn in the title portion of tags.

pax hamburgana.
[Miller comes into his diner almost every day. He's lucky to have workers, really, but he'd still come in alone and work his little heart out if he had to. He would sweep the floors, he would bus tables, he would cook food and do dishes, whatever is necessary to keep things running. The luck of "space age" technology (or rather, very average tech here) is that much of that can be automated as necessary. But the "human element" or the near equivalent when there's such a mix of people requires a face at a bar and at diner booths or a body by the heat of a stove, as far as he's concerned.]

[Today isn't a cooking day, it's a serving day, and he's up front finishing up a wipe down of the bar after a daily shift change rush. He guesses it's Region One's equivalent of the noon lunch around here. A bunch of people get a break at approximately the same time and they come in and get food and either they love it or hate it and he's the one that gets to hear about it]

[Sometimes during the lull and most of the busy work is done, Kaz'll spend those spare moments to practice playing his guitar at a booth, soft acoustic sounds from expert fingers filling the restaurant. Good enough that at one point he could have been a professional so long as he didn't sing as well. Now being original is a trial, songs being difficult to generate on his own. Instead he plucks through ones he made years ago or learned in Costa Rica.]

[Either way, he'll find his way to anyone that comes in to eat.]

EN-Line.
[The worst part of taking up a new project is finding all the paperwork he needs to fill out.]

[One is a broadcasting office. One for him to ask about taxation and licensing because he has no idea how that works here. But it means a lot of walking and a lot of being told to go to another place and a lot more walking. Not long enough to take public transportation, but enough that the runaround gets exasperating (and he's a man that enjoys this sort of thing normally).]

[By the time he gets on the EN-Line to make his way home he's in a seat attempting with all his might to not nod off. A wearying battle that he loses, eventually doing so. That blond head tipping forward some, eyes closed behind his aviators, Kaz starts muttering a little to himself.]

Do you know where Miller is?

[He wakes up with a start from the sound of his own voice and shakes his head. Well, that's fun. He'll just try to find someone to talk and keep himself awake so he doesn't end up falling asleep and riding this thing in a circle.]

band night at a bar.
[It's been a hell of week, and Kaz has not slowed down except to sleep and that sleep is the sort of "decent" sleep that's like a marathon in itself. Check time, confirm time setting, lay down face first without undressing, sprint snooze. This is the first time he's taken some time off just to relax, going to a bar to enjoy himself and listen to some music.]

[But perhaps he should not have.]

[Once the live band hours are over, he's piss drunk. Somewhere along the line Miller forgot he's no longer twenty-eight and the last time he got drunk without strange mantid interference was back on the last birthday he could remember, at a party that Big Boss had thrown for him when they were both aboard the Moira.]

[And that has him ranting at some poor unfortunate soul near him.]

Did you know John put me in a slingshot? He tricked me. [Kaz slurs with spite, making himself mad all over again.] I almost died for a man that put me in a slingshot. You know how far I went? I lost my clipboard.

And his box was too tiny. I had to make him make it bigger. He barely listened to me over his stupid small box, I don't know why I thought he'd listen to me over nukes.

[This all makes sense to him. Even that hiccup that follows that odd assortment of words that are supposed to be a true story. Accurate punctuation.]

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[Dorian doesn't miss the tone in his voice.]

So people say, but I'm more inclined to watch others fight hand-to-hand personally as I doubt that I'll be very good at it. [He's quite serious too, is he physically built? Oh yes, he could bear the dead weight of a fully grown man for quite a walk before tiring actually. The sculpting and strength of the body said nothing for the temperament, not that Dorian was against hurting someone who was trying to hurt him back, just at a distance...he was a mage, it is just how it went.]

I'll put that on the list.

[Well now, this was going in an unexpected direction, he liked the way that Kazuhira was laughing and smiling before. His nonsensical behaviors that were amusing and heartwarming...this? Well Dorian has suspicions, no one got this kind of sloppy drunk without a reason, he should know, he's the expert.]

Good and bad are...abstract and arbitrary things...they often require some context...like torturing people for fun, setting boarding schools with little children on fire for kicks, performing blood rituals and sacrificing others for the sake of ambition...kicking puppies. I am not one to stand on a soap box and preach to people on their wickedness, like a chantry brother...my threshold for brutality is different...I come from a rather ruthless and morally gray world...what you show me or what you keep from me...[Well, Dorian is aware that most people like to keep the unsavory bits of themselves locked away. Knowing you might have been wrong about the things you've done makes you feel...wrong.] Of course...whatever bond you have is probably due to the fact that he's seen those unsavory parts as well...[Dorian doesn't really know what to say, comforting is not his strongest suit, honestly, and quite frankly Dorian has yet to show Kazuhira anything short of his best self...okay he's seen grumpy Dorian and saucy Dorian, but not the snarky, condescending Dorian.]

['Does torturing people because you just really want to hurt them count?' Something that shouldn't follow that question. The particular people had hurt him (he would argue that of Quiet hurting those he cared about, even if some people would loudly disagree).]

Dorian... You're probably the one person I've made a point to not show that other face to. I'd hate for you to look at me otherwise.

[But he's had a tad too much to drink. And despite the risk of it sending him reeling, he holds up one finger.] Excuse me. I promise. I'll be back in one minute. I have to go outside. [Maybe be sick. Maybe something else.] Then I'll be back. I promise.

[And off he goes for that adventure, doing the walk that drunk people do when they're sober enough to make a straight line but too drunk to actually look at all sober. Slips through the door. Goes to the darker corner. Stands there with his back towards the door and attempts to shake the feeling out of himself, actually slinging his hands as if he's getting water off the gloves, stops and budges up his glasses and pinches between his eyes to stave off becoming a burbling crying drunk. No one wants a man that whines that he runs everyone out of his life.]

[Nope, good mood. Good mood. He'll come back in with a good mood and talk about music again and find him a pair of passable track pants. Good plan.]

[Dorian isn't above revenge killing, personally, so he's not entirely certain that would make him righteous. When he was told of his own father's death that was the first thing that popped into his mind, find his father's killers and kill them back. Law of he land and all.]

I do enjoy being treated as special honestly, but you don't have to...[Put so much effort in hiding yourself - that's what he was going to say before Kazuhira excused himself and Dorian could take a hint and remained put at the bar, for now.

The last thing he wanted was to be the cause of any sort of anxiety or fear for Kazuhira and he knew what that was like. He honestly did. Keeping all of the things he did not want others to see pushed down and under control while pretending to be the perfect son his parents had always wanted? It drove him over the edge and out of control, it hurt too much and so he decided he wasn't going to do it anymore.

He didn't want to be that for Kazuhira and if the man was afraid Dorian would run if he knew things? Dorian didn't have enough people in his life that he cared for to start running from the ones he did. He would also be very disappointed in himself. Right.

And that's when he climbs to his feet at last, not searching for Kazuhira necessarily, but he does stand outside of the bar, leaning near the door frame. Dorian would like to go somewhere where they could confront some of these ideas...but if Kazuhira wanted to keep drinking they could do that too.]

[Kaz takes a minute more before turning and meaning to head back in, but sees Dorian outside. Without the lingering sounds of musicians putting their instruments away, the droning of patrons, the oversweet smells of cocktails littering the bar, the mood is changed. Two drunk guys outside a bar. One more sober than the other.]

[So he makes his way over, puts his hand on his shoulder. His expression behind those ever-present glasses is schooled, gentle, filled with focus.]

I'm worried I might turn my foot off. [Is the next admission that followed. He did, indeed, drink too much. But at least he's not throwing up.]

I'm sorry. I'm bad for ruining parties now. [Spoiling good times is a hobby and he leans into Dorian for support.] Alright... I'm almost there. I almost got my head together.

[It's embarrassing, as well. The heaviness that comes with him now is just as crippling as the limbs he's lost. He might be more mobile, but his emotions feel sluggish, dragging into thick bursts that dwindle again. Anger, bouts of joy, depression, a ferocity to them that he used to not have. Vengeance and torture never soothed that in him (he doesn't regret doing it), but it remains.]

I do gotta treat you like you're special. You need more people to treat you special for the reasons that you are special [he'd be ashamed of how often he repeated that word in that stumbling compliment] and not because you were born to be important. You're very caring, and you're very stylish, and you're very talented and trained. So not being an ass in front of you is the least I can do.

[He lets his language go, speaking less formally than usual. But he tries and fails to amend that.] I only keep the napkins of extraordinary individualses.

By all means. [Not that it really mattered what Kazuhira's reason's were, he had leaning permission and no need to ask for it. Dorian would slip an arm under him and carry him if need be. As it was he just curled a steadying hand around his waist.]

I've seen enough parties in my lifetime, been dragged away from them by my earlobe enough times by my dear mother as well...she still thinks I'm five years old. [If you can imagine Dorian at five years of age that is, but the takeaway message is that parties are never what they are cracked up to be.] You don't have to...it's what I want to say to you...you don't have to have anything together...and that's just fine.

[Comforting words, Dorian is certain, but this is outside of his area of expertise, he's never really been around anyone who needed comfort...naturally because comfort was weakness in his homeland. Probably the reason why he is the way he is sometimes and why he's so bad at this, he can relate to what he is seeing in Kazuhira, but no one taught him what to say or do...how to be smooth in this sort of situation.]

You're very complimentary, it's a charming trait, on of the things I adore about you and I hope I am all of those things to you...[he leans in a bit now, drawing Kazuhira a little bit closer in a conspiratory sort of way]...but I'm not always a good man. I can be an absolute ass, stubborn, prideful, selfish...an elitist at times...I admit it...petty too. I would like to be perfect...and look at this face, this face is stunning...but as a person I know it's not true. I'm okay with that, I just want you to know that I'm not a good man.

[He smooths his free hand along Kazuhira's cheek leveling him with his own gentle smile.] I hope you'll keep the napkin anyway, I hope you keep it even when some of those less than savory traits manage to express themselves. They may eventually, because I'm an ass...it's okay...

[He immediately imagines a 5 year old with that same Errol Flynnish facial hair and he is strangely charmed.]

[He does think he looks weak right now for just seeming to need it. Ocelot would mock his neediness; he knows it for certain. Weighty problems that take down the people around him, and he worries, genuinely worries, they might do the same to Dorian.]

I shot off a guy's leg and arm. [It's so blunt, these random words added into the conversation as if to give a hint to Dorian what he was like.] For revenge. Wanted him to hurt as bad as I did. [And maybe for tonight, at least, that's enough about him being a bad person with a lot of vengeful issues.]

And you do have a nice face. It forgives you a lot of things. Probably gets you out of a lot of trouble too. [As for all those flaws, and warning Miller of them.] I guess it's fair... I can't imagine what you being awful is like at all. But I've probably seen worse. You'll be fine.

[Woefully.] I wasn't kidding, though. I'm having to concentrate to keep my leg on. So hold onto me for a second. [His shoe and sock fall loose as his pants go slack from just below the knee down. Then the exasperated grunt. Yes. That just happened. Now he's going to have to lean down and get his shoe.]

I'd do the same if I were you. [Dorian had attractive arms and legs after all and he imagines Kazuhira felt the same about his own limbs.] And then I would probably burn him alive and sleep well right after...it's what I fully intend to do to my father's killers.

[That's not to terrible a thing, actually Dorian thinks it is the natural reaction, wanting to hurt the people who hurt you, wanting to hurt the people who hurt the ones you care about. There were good men in Thedas, and Dorian had good intentions, he wanted to make his homeland a better place, to show the world that they were not all blood mages and barbarians.

But he wasn't so good that he could forgive someone for marring taking what was his, whether a limb or a person...and he was blunt...when stupid people did stupid things then he couldn't be very sympathetic even if he wanted to be. No one deserves anything, but every now and then they are owed something.]

Oh, this face earns me a good deal of credit...but it's the charm really, the charm elevates my pretty face and people find it difficult to stay angry with me...aside from those who are immune, of course...mother for instance. [Dorian was just adding some levity to the conversation, if they were going to talk about something so weighty, then it shouldn't be all serious.] I try not to think about it overly much...it's fine if we are awful, being human being is awful...and sometimes you have to be awful...but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the person.

[Oh. Well now that was unexpected, but Dorian was a mage and mages always carried a staff even though he removed the blade on the end for casual nights out...still it was handy for things other than magic.] Allow me? [Dorian removed the staff from his back and handed it to Kazuhira as something to lean on, not that he intended to let the man go, obviously. The staff had a sturdy, wooden shaft and it was crowned with a superb golden dragon. Keeping one hand on Kazuhira and remaining bodily close he dipped down slowly to scoop up the shoe and the sock before slowly rising to his full height again.] There now...we're alright?

[The concern is still there that what he is would be too much, but at the same time-] Ahab is a better man than me. Everything he's done... I think I told you about that. But he has a lot to deal with. We might have went through it together, but I guess I'm figuring out that we have to heal from it on our own.

I tried though. I did.

Guess I'm actually happy you're not a good person. It means I won't be much of a problem, I don't think. [If anything, it's been nice knowing that he's helped Dorian again.]

[He accepts the shoe with only a little bit of embarrassment for once, because if Dorian has already seen this much weakness in him, having a shoe in his hand and standing on one leg is nothing. Sadder still, much of that has been said to the golden dragon atop the staff. It's not as good a conversationalist as Dorian, but it looks just as attentive.]

Yeah. I'm alright.

[For now, anyway. For a man who drank too much over his guilt. Something he normally doesn't do. He's glad it caught up with him in this company if any. Dorian won't judge him.]

Didn't spoil the rest of the night, did I?

I think trying counts. [Even though Dorian doesn't consider himself a good man, he tries to do what he thinks is the right thing. Personally he feels that should count for something.]

You're not a problem, not for me anyway, trust me...I'm a tree, I can bend a great deal before breaking. [Particularly in Dorian's case, he' pragmatic and realistic about things most of the time, he can handle the emotional strain of others even if he cannot always handle his own. Probably because he recognizes how he handles his own and probably because he cares more about Kazuhira's well-being...maybe that is something they have in common.

Sliding an arm around Kazuhira's waist for support, he leaves his staff in his companion's care for now, there is no immediate need for it if he wants to use it to get around. At the question Dorian find's himself giving Kazuhira an indulged chuckle.]

Spoiled? The night has been enhanced by your presence, my dear...and it is still quite young. We can go and do whatever you like, or we can return to the bar and drink ourselves into a stupor...they might take pity and allow us to sleep here. You never know.

[Miller isn't at all a good man, but his difference is he tries to help good men. They usually have some idea of what they're doing. And Miller just has some leadership skills to get other people motivated to to their jobs. A missile you align to a target. Not much more.]

Alright. Take me to where I can sit down first.

[For all that he feels weak, like he just made a fool of himself, he's also happy to know that he probably won't disappoint Dorian too much. Or, better yet, won't be too big a harm to him whenever he falls into self-pity or storming rages.]

[He thinks. He's not tried it yet. He'd still prefer not to. Despite everything just agreed upon, he prefers keeping Dorian on the happy side.]

Never noticed what your staff looked like before. [He still looks at it as he's guided, remembering that he should probably watch his lone foot only after. Come to think of it, this is pretty embarrassing, too.]

[Perhaps he's been that missile for too long, but on the upside, the fact that Kazuhira has been very conscious about showing off his good qualities to Dorian and hiding his bad qualities says something of the nature of his character. Dorian isn't entirely certain what that is, but it's good from where he's standing, he's not all bad...neither one of them are entirely bad. It's a script...a script about the self...and perhaps what they've been through has created a very believable script.]

As you wish.

[It really isn't a problem, Dorian has seen weak men and Kazuhira does not resemble them at all...weakness to Dorian is less of a physical trait, it's less of a personality trait, even a mood...it had everything to do with the strength of the mind and the will. Dorian can put his foot in his mouth, he can say harsh things, he can be wrong, or behave foolishly...but having a weak mind is something different.]

The staff of the dragon...it has a fire rune and a blade that can be attached to the end bit for self-defense...but for a casual night out I figured it might be best to go without. I have you now. [The man who shot the arm and leg off of another man, who would mess with Dorian?

Finding a bench nearby Dorian was elegant in guiding them both, he's a fantastic dancer you see, he knows exactly where Kazuhira's foot is and goes at the pace his companion needs.]

[Miller attributes it to a level of greediness. Of the fact that he likes that Dorian looks at him like he does, rather than the man he can be. He's glad to have those excellently timed steps at his side and a staff to balance himself with. There's some unfortunate awareness that he's out of practice.]

That's a lot of confidence you're putting in me, a man that's been shot out of an elastic stretching weapon.

[He sits when they reach the bench, lowering himself down carefully and holding to Dorian as he goes. Then concentrating with a ridiculously squinted face until the prosthetic turns back on.]

[The mess of a leg was covered by his pants. Not too embarrassing. He lifts his foot so he can pull on his sock.] I bet if something happened to you your artificial limbs would be made of gold. Or can they be grown back with some sort of magic?

[Light conversation over missing limbs while tying his shoe, as one does.]

It takes stones to allow yourself to be shot out of an elastic stretching weapon. I can barely handle a stormy boat ride never mind something like that.

[Dorian does miss the absence of Kazuhira at his side as he settles him down, but the concentrated effort in his expression is almost worth the loss of contact and so he willingly settles in beside him, relieving his companion of the staff so he could sort out his shoe and sock.

At the mention Dorian having his own prosthetic the mage made an intrigued noise in the back of his throat.]

Ah...but I suspect gold might be incredibly heavy, perhaps some sort of light weight material...Dragon's Bone is relatively light weight and durable. [And it would be interesting to have a limb carved from something with such high magical potency.

At the mention of magic however, Dorian keeps his gaze level with Kazuhira's.] Yes...yes, magic could regrow your limbs, blood magic could do it certainly, probably very easily.

[A part of him...a small part of him...considers it.]

Dragon bone, huh? ...Never thought I'd actually get to think of that as a real thing. Sometimes I still think I'm dreaming here. [Because there are some very pretty people with some very amazing things going on with them.]

You could go that far...

[Growing things back. He looks down at his arm again, thinking about it.]

Ended up not taking the bait at the asteroid. But I thought about. I keep thinking what it would be like if I got to keep my memory, but I went back without those limbs. There'd be no way I could get them back there.

I do miss actual fingers, though.

And having a foot that wouldn't disappear sometimes. [Or be stuck at the end of a peg.]

I suppose you could have worse dreams than sitting here talking to me about dragon bone prosthetic limbs. [And, of course, Dorian would like to think he's one of those pretty people.

But the subject of blood magic and Kazuhira lamenting his limbs does take the dream somewhat out of focus and he appraises his companion.]

I could...if you ever really want it...your fingers and toes I mean. [And Dorian would justify it, using his own blood, it was okay if you used your own blood after all. If the participant was willing.]

[He is indeed that. Not like Venom Snake, who has an unintentional sort of look to him that comes with his demeanor. Not like Harry's had been. Coiffed and planned, carefully presented. An illusion of what he really is. Dorian is both extravagant and blunt. He is what he is.]

What would it take to do it?

[He's been careful not to agree blindly. But given his recent ideas... it does make him curious. He does remember the mentions of blood magic, what it would take. But he assumes the blood would have to be his own, and being missing an arm and a leg he doesn't have as much left.]

Blood, naturally, a willing participant, it doesn't matter who's blood as long as the participant can give consent.

[Because should Dorian do it, he will not use someone unwilling, preferably he'd use his own blood as anyone should do as a penance for using blood magic. As a means to keep it under control, there was nothing inherently wrong doing it this way...at least not in his mind...or that's what he's telling himself.]

I would use my own in such a case, it would be for the best.

You would- ...No.. I couldn't ask you to do that.

[But he's very flattered. No one has offered to give him their blood before.]

[That dark thought passes his mind as well, though. Wouldn't it have been nice if he had been able to do more than shoot off Skull Face's limbs and leave him to die. What if he'd been able to drain the life out of him drop by drop, let it somehow make him whole again.]

[He wants that. But he wants it out of the enemies that took it away from him. Not from a friend trying to put him back together. Despite the advice he's given, he'd rather take it that way.]

[Honestly if that were possible he wouldn't be adverse to the idea.]

For now I can handle it. [But he does have that gratitude in his tone. A slightly baffled gratitude.]

Concerned? [The gratitude in Kazuhira's voice is charming, really, and Dorian responds with an affectionate smile.

More than that, if he could somehow give Kazuhira happiness in a way that was acceptable then doing blood magic would be worth it...he would only do it just this once and never again.

He shouldn't want to, the moral high ground should win out over his affections for another person, in fact his affections shouldn't factor into his rational at all...but they seemed to...

...they seemed to override his principles.] For now, but if you ever change your mind we could do it together if you are concerned...a bit of my blood, a bit of your blood...and we can start with one...your arm or your leg first. When we are well enough we can do the other...a fortnight...

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