thisavrou_log | Procrastinating and Not Solving My Problems

Who: Darin Altway and anyone who wants to join!
When: On especially clear nights throughout the month!
Where: Kauto, Region 5
What: Stargazing! Introspection! Relaxation! Bonding! Hilarity!

[Life had been decidedly quiet for Darin in the last month and a half. After that tumultuous mission with Shiro and the ensuing fallout, things had returned to be as peaceful as they could possibly be on an alien world. It was as close to feeling like 'home' as it could while not actively being the same.]

[Perhaps it was this longing for 'home' that found Darin on top of a grassy hill, sprawled out on his back and gazing up at the night sky. Back home, he would do this often when he had to turn his thoughts inward. He would gaze up at the twin moons of his world, one perpetually almost eclipsing the other, and think about his place in that world.]

[He found himself doing the same thing now, but instead of wondering what his place was, he was wondering what he could do to protect it. The laboratory on Asteroid 276 presented a path: a chance to limit himself and his abilities, thereby protecting everyone he had come to know and love in this world. But what would that mean for him if he was ever sent back to his real home? On the other hand...if he chose to keep himself limit free, where did he start in gaining mastery over himself? Dromas had been taught to use his powers. The power gap between them was like comparing an ocean to a babbling brook. How could he even begin to learn something about which he had no previous desire to know?]

[He sighs and reaches into a holster on his hip, drawing forth the tablet that Lucio had given him. He points it up towards the star-filled sky and begins opening window after window: star charts he'd taken from the Hub and meticulously recreated as images in the tablet. He starts moving the images around with his hands, trying to find matches among this night's tapestry. He didn't really expect to find his home...or anything in particular. But, it kept his mind busy. Kept its gears turning. Who knows...maybe he'd find an answer tonight?]

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[There's a long pause before he answers.]

I...do.

I do because he always filled me with courage, even when I had none.

[He falls silent for a few minutes.]

...He died with my father. When I was five. He was killed in the same attack that gave me that scar I have on my back. I tried to run. He threw himself between the sword strike and me.

Ever since that day...I decided I was going to live like I pictured he would have. It's probably why I act before thinking so much. If I think, I'll second guess myself. Slip back into the person I was before.

[She listens. She's not sure she really knows how to respond, but it sounds like Darin's made peace with the situation in his own way. His sentiment is touching, about living like he thought his brother would have. She reaches over, and slips her hand into his as a quiet sign of solidarity.]

I think that's a beautiful way to look at it, Darin.

[He looks down at her hand laced with his, then slowly turns his head to meet her gaze. He couldn't express properly just how much he appreciated that gesture. It was foreign to him, but still welcome all the same. He squeezes her hand gently.]

Thanks...

It's about all I have left of my brother.

[He takes a shaky breath.]

There's...more to the story. A lot more. Dromas...isn't dead. He was brought back. It's...hard to explain. I don't really even know how it works exactly. My world has three realms; the human realm...and then there's the Archfiend realm and the Celestial realm. All three realms are separated by barriers. They can't be seen...hell, most people don't even think the other realms exist. It's like...trying to prove the existence of angels and demons. Theology made real.

Dromas' soul was taken by the Archfiends and he was molded into a harbinger of death and destruction...

[He takes another breath.]

It was a fate meant for the both of us. Only...I survived when I shouldn't have. Partly thanks to him.

[She hoped the little bit of contact would help; remind him that he's not alone, here. They might not be flesh and blood, but they were something of an odd family.]

He saved you from a fate worse than death ... [It's hard for her to imagine something like that, the different possible realms, but it certainly doesn't sound like there's anything pleasant about it.] I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Yeah but...he went in my place. And now he's a monster. A monster that I can't stop because...

[He stops himself then and shakes his head.]

I'm...I'm sorry. I bet I sound like a crazy person right now. Talking about demons and my brother coming back from the dead.

[He's floundering. He trusts Fareeha with all of his heart. She'd accepted him so easily...she looked after him like a big sister. Like a family he'd lost so long ago. He wanted to tell her...wanted to explain himself to her. To tell her that he's a monster, that there's so much he's hiding, but the simple truth was this: He didn't know how to tell her. He didn't even know exactly what he was. Just that his existence was bad. It was bad for everyone.]

...I've always been afraid of telling people about my life. About who I am. The idea of people being scared of me hurts way more than people hating me.

[She turns onto her side so she can give him her undivided attention.]

While you may be talking about things that aren't at all possible in my own world, I've been here long enough to know not every universe operates the same way; you don't sound like a crazy person to me.

And, from what I know about you, you are very aware of your abilities and concerned with your perception. You don't frighten me, and there are few people here I would trust as much to fight beside me.

I don't want you to feel like you're under any obligation to tell me if you're not comfortable, but I'm here for you.

Fareeha...

[He's stunned by that little speech. Stunned at how much she trusts him...at her kindness and acceptance. He sighs, silently chastising himself for ever thinking she'd be driven off by what he was. He actually almost laughs.]

[He rolls onto his side now to meet her gaze, and when he speaks, the slight tremors of doubt have faded.]

I was born...different. I'm not entirely human. Dromas and I...we were born with an extra half of a soul tethered to our own. The two halves form the single soul of the Archfiend Diomuhr, leader of his realm and Lord of all Archfiends. We were...pawns. We were born with the express purpose of bringing forth the end of humanity. I guess we were supposed to grow up into evil, warmongering monsters. And with our powers and strength, we would lay waste to everything.

But I guess the plan didn't go the way it was supposed to. The Archfiends came after us...killed Dromas and my father and almost killed me. I guess...we were both meant to be turned into weapons after that, but only Dromas was taken since I survived the attack.

Either way...I was literally born to end the world of man. I'm dangerous. That's why I hide what I am and what I can do. Shiro's...Shiro's already seen more than I care to admit. He's actually spoken to Diomuhr.

[He stops so he can allow Fareeha to absorb everything he's just said.]

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